Omochao's Revenge

Since I can count on getting reviews, I think I'm going to set a rule: I have to get two positive reviews before I write more. I don't think that's unreasonable. Of course, somebody out there is probably agape at such an unreasonable offer, but they have no business on this site anyway. And… it shall begin!

The camera smashed all over the floor. Omochao howled in horror. But, he could see out of the corner of his eye, the tape in the camera bouncing along.

"No!" shrieked Omochao, dashing for the tape and lunging for it. The tape just bounced off of the balcony and fell many feet below. Omochao, without hesitation, jumped down to rescue it. It landed inside of a car.

Now, in general, people do not leap into cars from balconies. This is an even worse idea when the car in question is parked next to a car compactor. But Omochao was unaware of this as he dropped into the car.

Of course, at that moment the car was picked up by a clamp and carried into the crusher.

"Why?" shrieked Omochao. He hot-wired the engine (he had more experience on the subject than one might guess) and pushed the gas pedal. The car, slippery little devil that it was, slipped out of the crusher and drove off… into another crusher.

Omochao didn't even comment, preferring to go to his death silently. The walls closed ominously… the walls of the car pushed together… this was the end… all that could be heard was a…

"Bam! Smack in the middle of two Ritz Bitz sandwiches!" said a commercial guy's voice as Omochao drove out of the two crackers.

"Yes!" breathed Omochao, cruising at 70 miles per hour past a 40 miles per hour sign. Of course, a police car quickly spotted him and followed.

"Time for some fancy driving!" said Omochao. He somehow did a 180 spin and went into reverse at the same time, driving backward with the front of his car facing the oncoming police cruiser. They neared the waterfall of Chao Garden (Author's Note: I thought I might try to make this at least a little connected with the Sonic games). Of course, Omochao somehow did another 180 and went forward, driving straight up the surface of the waterfall. The police car exploded in a huge, fiery ball that was completely impossible considering that the car had run into a waterfall. But, logic was never quite there in this story, and so it happened. Omochao drove right up the waterfall and jumped out of the car.

And then, twenty policemen surrounded him.

"Hey, look!" said Omochao, hoping for a distraction. "A donut!"

"We're too good to fall for that!" shouted a policeman while somehow tripping over his pistol.

"With frosting!"

Just then, a donut with frosting fell out of the sky in front of one of the policemen.

"Is this the one you mean?" asked the policeman, munching it. "It's in front of me, not behind."

Omochao hit himself in the head very, VERY hard.

"Now, where was I?" wondered the policeman as Omochao ground his teeth in fury. By then, of course, Omochao had escaped using his world-famous teleporting ability.

"Curses! I will have my revenge, Omochao! You shall be locked up! Put behind bars! In jail! Ha! There's no escaping justice!" said all the policemen at the same time in an extremely freaky manner.

Omochao, of course, had teleported inside the car, where he picked up the tape and teleported back out, far away from the policemen.

"Yes!" cackled Omochao. "Now, I must find some kind of public TV screen!" He looked everywhere for one. "Aw, shucks! I can't find one!" Omochao kicked a post that supported a public TV screen. Of course, it collapsed on top of him.

"Why?" shouted Omochao loudly. He turned around… and saw a huge public TV screen.

"Yay!" cheered Omochao in an uncharacteristically non-evil voice. "Now, with my widely renowned wall-crawling abilities, I can climb to the top and insert the tape!" Omochao began using his widely renowned wall-crawling skills, commenting on the unusual birdcalls (that were actually bullets) that seemed rather close to him. Ignoring the thumb-sized steaming holes that punched themselves next to his hands and head, Omochao reached the top. He prepared to insert the tape…

Then realized that it only played DVDs.

Omochao's screams could be heard from miles around.

It's just two reviews, people… you can handle it! Also, from now on I'm gonna use a border between the story and the beginning and end notes, like the one above.