Omochao's Revenge
Shade-the-Hedgehog: Another Favorites List! Yes!
Celestial the Hedgird: Now that I think of it, it is a little like West Side Story. And maybe Omochao will get anger management.
MoonShadeTheGoddessOfDarkness: You'll see.
Sour Schuyler: Huh? OK…
CasinoChao412: Yeah… I don't really have much to say.
Lordwindwalker: I already have the weapons room planned, but that's a good suggestion.
Sorry for the lack of updates. Review please!
Don Guido led Omochao down a long, dark hallway. Suddenly he stopped in front of a bottomless pit.
"Here," said the Don, his voice dropping to a tantalizing whisper, "we must follow the yellow brick road."
Omochao scanned the area in front of them. It was a bottomless pit, with no yellow bricks.
"Now," said the Don, "yell this phrase as loudly as you can: Oh Brick!"
"Oh brick!" shouted Omochao as loudly as he could, just to go along.
Suddenly, a red dirt path appeared on the bottomless pit.
"Huh?" asked Omochao.
"That's why we call it the Yell 'Oh Brick' road," said the Don happily, walking down the red dirt path.
"Huh?" bellowed Omochao furiously.
"Well, look! Here we are!" said the Don, pointing at a large door. The door was made of black stone and the sight of it put a tear in Omochao's eye, a lump in his throat, a tremble in his heart and a stick of butter in his hands.
"Huh?" roared Omochao for the second time in 5 seconds. "Why am I holding a stick of butter?"
"Can I have some?" asked MacRoberts, gazing forlornly at his plain toast.
The door slowly creaked open. It raised the hairs on Omochao's spine, not that there are any of course. The door opened slowly… all was darkness inside.
As it creaked open, Omochao saw a sight that put a tear in his eye, a lump in his throat… etcetera. Kicking the new stick of butter to the side, he gazed in awe.
Axes, swords, spears, katanas, crossbows, maces, scythes, whips, daggers, throwing knives, shuriken, hammers, and other medieval weapons dangled from the wall. Also strapped to the wall were many guns, such as rifles, machine guns, pistols, sniper rifles, shotguns, flamethrowers, bazookas, grenade launchers and stun guns. Omochao, his eyes gleaming in delight, reached for a gun… and slipped on the stick of butter. Undeterred, he reached forth again and pulled a Kalashnikov AK-47 off of one of the wall. It felt lighter than it should, but such was Omochao's excitement that he didn't care. His finger twitched on the trigger and pulled.
The trigger didn't move. It seemed to be bolted into place.
"What are you doing with the wall ornaments?" asked the Don in confusion, pointing at a huge, red door with many neon light bulbs attached to it. "This is just the waiting room."
"D'oh!" screamed Omochao, throwing the fake gun to the side and accidentally knocking Lorenzo out. "Let's go!"
The new door didn't creak. It glided smoothly on oiled hinges. Omochao stepped inside…
Huge vats of chemicals pulsed through tubes into huge tanks and nuclear weapons. A mist of green powder hissed in test tubes. Chemical weaponry surrounded them.
"Wicked!" shouted Omochao, examining the biological weapons. "Can we use them?"
"I'm afraid not," said the Don mournfully.
"Why ever not?" asked Omochao, his tone taking a dangerous edge.
"Well," said the Don sadly, sitting on a stool, "there's two reasons. One is my Pappy Jenkins' dying wish."
"Pappy Jenkins?" roared Omochao in rage.
"A kind, strong man," sniffled Don Guido piously. "As I was saying, I stayed with Pappy Jenkins while he was on his deathbed. He suffered from both starvation, since he had no teeth to chew his food with, and a strong toothache that affected his brain."
"A toothache?" screeched Omochao. "He had no teeth!"
"And now you're teasing him for a disability," sniffed the Don. "Have you no soul, you callous fiend? Is there any low you won't sink to? Anyway, as he was on his deathbed, Pappy Jenkins called to me. I came, and he told me, 'Sonny Boy, don't you ever touch weapons of mass destruction, not never in your whole life!' And I, obligated to do whatever he asked, lived by that rule for all my life." Don Guido smiled.
"What was the second reason?" asked Omochao, his voice as still as death itself.
"Well, the other reason is we don't know how any of it works," smiled Don Guido smugly.
Omochao kicked the wall in rage. Unfortunately, this caused a test tube to hit the ground.
And there was a tremendous explosion that, for whatever reason, had absolutely no effect on nobody except everybody other than the Don.
Which translates to, Only the Don died horribly.
"No!" screamed Tyrone. "What will I tell Pappy Jenkins?"
Omochao had had enough. He ran as fast as he could out of the room.
"Stop him! He killed the Don!" roared Sid, pointing an accusatory figure at Omochao's retreating figure.
And so, all of the mobsters reached into a broom closet and pulled out ever single kind of weapon imaginable and shot them at Omochao. He felt a tranquilizer dart hit him in the back and he fell.
When he woke up, he was on a disco stage, where he was doing a funky dance in his Mixdaddy Funkmaster outfit.
"Crank the party up, we about to get it on! Let me see you one two step, I love it when you one two step, everybody one two step, we about to get it on!" sang Omochao, strutting his stuff in a very disturbing fashion. Then the reality of what he was doing hit him like a ton of bricks. "What in the-?"
"Oh, sorry," said Pappy Jenkins, stepping out of nowhere. "I did it. But why are you so mad? Nobody's watching you, and there's nothing wrong."
"Well… it's the principle of the thing!" shouted Omochao. "And speaking of principals, you killed my high school principal!"
"No, Omochao," said Pappy Jenkins. "I am your high school principal!"
"No!" screamed Omochao, tortured by the cheesiness of that line.
And suddenly, Omochao woke up.
"That tranquilizer dart must have given me a weird dream," he muttered, standing up. Somehow, everybody in the Mob had died from the explosion. "Huh. So I can't rely on the Mob now."
Omochao kicked a rock angrily. "Well, fudge! Now where can I go?" A thought struck him. "Of course! Who will be more eager to kill Sonic and his friends than… DR. ROBOTNIK?"
This was undoubtedly Omochao's worst idea yet, including the one where he told Shadow that he would be played by Jude Law in a Chao-hunting movie. For one thing, Eggman wouldn't have any more luck defeating Sonic and his friends with Omochao's help. But Omochao was oblivious to this as he ran as fast as he could toward Eggman's base.
Of course, running in a straight line directly to someplace far away often results in running into a large object, such as a wall.
"Ow!"
Wow… my longest chapter yet! Sorry for the delay, folks!