Kitana: Hey, we got reviews! We gotta give comments!

redwalgrl: Sorry, we're not accepting fan characters as of yet, but as the story goes on, you'll find out more about the original characters who've been introduced.

Game Lover: Hehe... Thanks for informing us… You thought the last chapter was too short? That's funny; most of us thought it was too long…

Redemmo: Thank you, thank you. W.E.I.R.D. await applause Kidnapping Seto in an hour can be a piece of cake… but you'll find out more about it in the next chapter, so review this one first!

Seto's Summer Flower: Sorry, even though this is a wacky fic, we're not accepting fan characters, well, at least not yet anyway. Glad you liked the story!

Julia: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Kida: We don't own the world either.

Kirika: And we don't even have a Warehouse.

Danny: Man, do we have anything?

Kitana: Pizza.

Danny: Great! Let's eat! they all start eating

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Chapter Two

Recruiting a Dueling Monkey

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Kida: Hehehe, I'm coming for you Joey Wheeler…

Joey: Who said dat? C'mon where ya hidin?

Kida: Oops! Stupid, don't speak out loud when the prey is close by!

Joey: I'm warnin' ya, I'm a top duelist, so show yer ugly mug so I can whop ya in a duel!

Kida: Hey! A, GET A GRIP! B, I'M NOT UGLY AND C, YOU'RE NOT A TOP DUELIST! Middle class but… NOT TOP!

Joey: Man, this punk has more screws loose than dat fake psycho Espa Roba!

Kida: Hey, I can hear you so why don't we just settle this with a duel?!

Not even realising that his mind was just read, both exasperated duelists slotted their decks into their respective Duel Disks…

Kida: Hey jerk! We told you earlier to go away, so go away and bother Bakura or somethin', he shouldn't mind since he needs all the help he can get!

Narrator Dude: FINE! I know when I'm not wanted…

Kida: That's better, now, LET'S DUEL!

Joey: Whatever, you're more annoyin' than that stupid stuck-up jerk Kaiba! Anyways, I draw. I'll teach this punk how to duel I play two cards face down an' I play Gearfried the Iron Knight in attack mode! Dat'll do for now ya wiseguy!

Kida: Is that it? Oh well, I play Fissure, which destroys your puny Gearfried and Mystical Space Typhoon to destroy one of your face down cards! Then I will activate Monster Reborn on your pathetic monster, and sacrifice him for my Dark Driceratops!

Joey: What, already? Man, am I in trouble!

Kida: You betya buddy! Now I equip him with Axe of Despair and Malevolent Nuzzler, to bring him to a total of 4100 attack points! Dark Driceratops, attack him directly, and finish him off on the very first move!

Joey: I don't think so! Reveal face down card, Scapegoat! These 'lil critters are gonna protect my Life Points!

Kida: Think again moron! Mwahaha!

Joey: What? Why da heck did my Life Points just drop ta zero? I was protected by Scapegoat!

Kida: Oh, did I forget to tell you about Dark Driceratops' special ability? When it attacks a defense position monster, Battle Damage is still deducted from your Life Points, and since yer Scapegoats are puny with zero Defense…

Joey: I… I lose…

Kida: Bingo!

Joey: NOOOOOOOOOOO!! Lost… on the first move… no way…

Kida: hits him with magic saucepan on the head. Joey falls to the ground, unconscious. Well, that was easy. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Joey: faints

Kida: Man, that was way too simple. I didn't realize how effective these things could be when there's nothing but air beneath the hair; then again, I DO use these things on Kitana. Oh well, I suppose I should get the dead weight to the Warehouse. picks up Joey and takes him back to… the Hideout. Once Kida's in the Warehouse, he wakes up.

Joey: Aaah… such a good slice of pizza… sees Kida You! Where de heck hav ya brought me ya lunatic?!

Kida: Oh shut up Wheeler, I'm running the show now!

Joey: What show? We on TV or summat?

Kida: slaps a hand to her forehead No nimrod, it's an expression!

Joey: No, THIS is an expression. sticks his tongue out

Kida: rolls eyes How insulting.

Joey: So, why de heck am I here anyways? Well, wherever here is… to be honest with ya, it kinda is a bit of a dump…

Kida: Oi! Watch it dude, this is my home you're dissing!

Joey: Ya live in a garage? Look, if ya need money, I'm the wrong bloke to try and rob, ya know? I'm broke, so why don't ya just let me go? Yer just a little kid, why yer trying to kidnap me and whatever? Who put ya up to this?

Kida: No one, I'm doing this because you're going to help me take over the world.

Joey: SAY WHAT!

Kida: What.

Joey: Huh?

Kida: You just told me to say what.

Joey: Oh man, if people think I'm dumb, then there ain't no hope for you.

Kida: Oh whatever you baka! Who cares? Anyway, I'm gonna tie you up now, and then I'm going to gag you and then I'm going to blindfold you and then I'll put mufflers over your ears so that you can't hear a word that I say!

Joey: Hey, aren't ya gonna reveal yer plan to me?

Kida: Nope, because villains who do that always fail because the hero knows exactly what he or she needs to do to defeat them.

Joey: Ah ha! So you're admitting dat yer the bad guy!

Kida: I never said I wasn't.

And so, because Joey was too busy insulting Kida to use his common sense and escape, the blonde Duelling Monkey soon found that he was gagged, tied up, blind folded and even had mufflers placed over his ears.

Kida: Thanks Commentary Guy!

Commentator Dude: No problem! About time I got some recognition.

Kida: picks up a phone and dials a number Hello?

Voice-Over-The-Phone: Kida? Is that you?

Kida: sarcastically No you dork, it's Santa Claus! Of course it's me! I mean hello, the caller's name does come up on the mobile you know!

Julia: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Look is this important? I'm in the middle of something here.

Kida: What's so important that I can't assign you your mission?

Julia: I'm eating a muffin. takes a large audible bite out of her muffin

Kiuda: rolls eyes Alright moron, just tell me something. Where are you?

Julia: I'm in Egypt.

Kida: You have a muffin in Egypt?

Julia: I brought 'em over.

Kida: whines Crud man, this call is gonna cost loads!

Julia: THEN GET TO THE POINT YOU BAKA!

Kida: Yeesh, okay! Listen, we've initiated Phase One of The Plan!

Julia: excited Wicked! Now, what do I get to do?

Kida: You've gotta get the Scales and the Key. Got it?

Julia: Yep, I'll put the plan into action straight away!

Kida: Good. Right now, Kitty's getting Kaiba.

Julia: gets excited again This rocks man!

Kida: Yep, and now I need to call Kirika so see ya.

Julia: Bye hangs up

Kida: calls Kirika

Kirika: Phase One completed?

Kida: Get the Pharaoh.

Kirika: hangs up

Kida: Wow, she's so great for conversation! rolls eyes Now I just gotta wait for Kitana…

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Kitana: Yay! This plan is actually coming together!

Danny: That's kind of scary.

Kida: What do you mean kind of?