Wishes – Chapter 1 – Valentine's Day

Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh or the characters created within. They are the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi-sensei.

AN: Takes place after the end of the YuGiOh series.
Warning: Suicidal inclinations and depression.

Yugi walked into the Kame Game Shop with a massive shopping bag and a heart that felt even heavier. Being Duelist Kingdom Champion and Battle City Champion had spelled an end to his days as a social outcast – he dressed, walked, and spoke with all the confidence that his darkness had gifted him with, and apparently it had been noticed by one portion of the school population…the shopping bag was filled to overflowing with chocolate. He'd expected to maybe get a Valentine's Day chocolate from Anzu, but this…in his class, only Bakura – he of the giggling girl's fan club – and Seto Kaiba had gotten more. He'd almost been killed when he opened his locker; who knew chocolate hearts could be so heavy? And the mob scene in the cafeteria… that didn't even bear remembering.

But even staring at the undeniable proof that he was no longer the shy outcast that he had been, even as giggling teenagers (mostly girls, but a few boys as well) had pressed the sweet confection on him, his heart had been leaden. The one person whom he would have wanted that sign of affection from was dead and gone - well, Atem had been dead for as long as he had known him, Yugi thought with a slight smirk, but still…

Gone.

And he would have traded all the chocolate in the world for a smile from his mou hitori no boku. It was stupid…all the things they had gone through, and he hadn't even realized he had fallen for the dark side of his own soul…until the day he had walked through that portal to the other world, never once looking back.

He'd thought it a crush; after all, he was bi and Atem was everything he could have asked for. Smart, funny, witty and handsome – and a spirit, but no one was perfect, right? But even as he'd gotten on with his life, using the gifts and skills that Atem had left him, that little ache in his heart had never gone away – in fact, it had grown. He'd known the second that Anzu had asked him to the dance…and he had stared at her, realizing that she was pretty, smart…and he wasn't in love with her. Attracted to her, yes – he always had been, and probably always would be – but it wasn't love. No, he had felt his heart clench in pain when he realized that he'd wanted someone else to ask him to the dance…which would be difficult, all things considered.

He'd said yes to Anzu – and that night, when she had leaned over to kiss him goodbye, he'd held her back and confessed the truth.

"I love you as a friend, Anzu…but I can't be anything more to you than that. I'm sorry."

And she, sweet loving person that she is, had kissed him on the cheek, smiled and said "I know."

Sighing, Yugi pulled the bag to the living room table, heaving it onto the wooden surface. He pulled out the chocolates one by one, noting who they were from, and piled them on the edge. His fingers caressed the one from Anzu – 'Friends forever' engraved on the back of a chocolate happy face. He placed it to one side with a pat and a smile – that one would be eaten last.

The bell rang; Yugi rose from his seat to answer it, finding a delivery man at the back door. "Can I help you?" he asked.

"I have a package for Yugi Motou." He handed it over to Yugi, made him sign a form, and left. Confused, Yugi looked it over – there was no return address. Bringing it to the living room, he carefully undid the brown paper package and opened the box within.

He gasped, almost dropping the package. Inside he found a thick slab of chocolate engraved with hieroglyphics, and a lotus embedded in a glass sphere. With shaking hands he removed the sphere, almost as large as his two fists out together, and stared at it in awe. The workmanship was flawless – it almost looked as though the lotus were alive, and he half-fancied he could smell it's slightly bitter perfume. Fearful of breaking it, he placed it on the table and took out the slab of chocolate. When he did, a note came free and fluttered down – Yugi caught in midair in his free hand. Tears were already coming to his eyes when he placed the chocolate on the table and unfolded the note. He already knew who this had come from…the only person who would give him a gift like this.

Dear Aibou,

Happy Valentine's Day. I'm not sure if I will be able to give this to you in person, Aibou. There is so much uncertainty in our lives, and the future is unknown to me. I wanted to tell you this today, on the day of lovers.

I am hoping you are well, little one, and happy. That is all I ever wanted for you. What I wanted for us…cannot be now. But Yugi…know that I love you, and I always will, even in the Land of the Dead.

Goodbye, my love.

Mou Hitori no Yugi.

PS. The chocolate holds an ancient spell for happiness and health. May it be so for you always, Aibou.

Yugi's heart shattered and he screamed his agony to the heavens, so that the Egyptian Gods would hear it and know the pain their laws had given him. Then he wept bitterly, the tears landing on the note, smearing the ink.

"Atem…" he whispered. "I wish…I wish I could have told you that I love you too."

He cried for a long time, until eventually the tears ran out, leaving Yugi with only dry, scratchy eyes and an empty mind. Numbly he folded the note before taking the two gifts from his yami upstairs to his room.

Dark was beginning to settle over the town of Domino – the clouds high above gently released their burdens. It seemed to Yugi, as he set the gifts on his desk and peered up at his skylight, that the sky was weeping the tears he could no longer feel.

"Atem…" he whispered, listening to the patter of raindrops. "Mou hitori no boku…" His throat clenched closed; he couldn't speak. It had been bad enough before, when he hadn't known that his love was returned. Now…he could feel the splinters of his shattered heart digging into his soul, leaving raw, gaping wounds.

Harshly he rubbed at his tear-stained face, grabbing some casual clothes from his drawer. He needed a shower.

The warm water pounded down on his face, soaking his hair and washing away the signs of his weeping, but not touching thenumbness where his heart had been or the pain of his wounded soul. He wanted…no…he NEEDED his other self. Life was just so pointless without him. He turned off the water and stepped out, wiping the steam from the mirror. For a long second he thought he saw narrowed violet eyes and a crown of gold. Yugi hissed and winced away, splintered heart spasming with agony.

"WHY ME!" he screamed. "WHY!" He slammed his fist into the mirror, shattering the image his imagination painted. "Why can't I just be happy?" He collapsed, curling up on the cold floor. "Mou hitori no boku…"

But Atem was in the Land of the Dead, gone forever.

Yugi's eye fell on the splinters of glass from the mirror. If Atem couldn't come to him…maybe he could go to the Land of the Dead. Slowly he reached for a large splinter…

In Yugi's room, the chocolate cartouche started to glow with a rainbow light.

:No, aibou.: Yugi jerked as he heard his other self'svoice in his mind. He looked up – the steam and the light swirled, forming an image of Atem in his pharaoh's garb. Yugi shook his head – now he was hallucinating.

:Aibou.: Atem murmured. :I'm sorry – I did not mean for my gift to do this to you.:

"I love you…" Yugi whispered. "I didn't realize it before, but I love you…I can't live without you."

:Yes you can.: Atem knelt down, gentle hands resting on Yugi's shoulders. :You can, aibou…you are strong enough. But if you take your own life now, we will never be together…:

"What?" Yugi shook his head. "What do you mean?"

:If you take your life in despair, aibou, then you will wander the earth as a restless spirit, never reaching the Land of the Dead… where I am waiting for you.:

"Waiting…?"

:Yes…it will be a long hard wait, beloved aibou, but when you do come, I will be here…I promise you.: Atem leaned forward and brushed his lips across Yugi's forehead. Tears poured from the teenagers face and ghostly arms wrapped around his shoulders as Yugi wailed out his loneliness and despair.

He came to some time later. Idly he cleaned up the glass and left the bathroom,mind turning over thevision. He knew it had probably been nothing more than his overworked imagination, but still...

Atem - or his own subconscious -was right. Suicide wasn't the answer to the pain, thoghthe stilldidn't know what was.

He went to his desk and blinked, seeing the melted chocolate. His eyes widened – the cartouche was nothing more than a puddle of brown now, and in the middle of the goo, a glint caught his eye. He picked out a ring, licking the chocolate from the band to reveal glimmering gold and lapis lazuli. With a little smile, he set the band on his finger – it fit perfectly.

"Thank you, Atem…" he whispered. "I love you. And someday, when the time is right – I will come to you."