My Silence
By Lance
Hey, how's it goin'? While this isn't my first story,this is my first story submitted to Please tell me what you thought of it and how I could improve my writing. I hope that everybody who reads this story will at least find it "okay".
Disclaimer- I don't own Chrono Trigger. SquarEnix owns Chrono Trigger. I own a copy of Chrono Trigger. I doesn't make me any money, but it is a pretty sweet game.
For as far back as I can remember I had trouble with words.
Not like in grammer, or spelling or anything like that. I'd actually get higher grades in those subjects then anybody else in class. The problem I always had was with talking. There just seemed to be something so wrong with talking for me. The idea of it seemed to frighten me. I could watch the people around exchange gossip and stories without any problem, but when I was given the chance to speak, I was afraid. It doesn't scare me now, but there still seems to be some bizzarity to it.
I remember that when I was very small, my mother would spend time with this sewing circle. Just a kind of gossip group of local women. I was home one day when they were together, and by this time I already seemed to have a problem with talking. I suppose I was about four-years-old or so. Being so young, I had an accident, not getting the bathroom fast enough, and while it was embarrassing, I went downstairs to my mother. I don't think I knew how to dress myself yet, so I obviously needed some help. She didn't see me walk up behind her, so I just kinda tugged on her dress. I didn't have to talk, she saw the wet spot and understood and picked me up to take me upstairs for another pair of pants. As she was carrying me, I remember the women gathered talking quietly to themselves that this accident, and my reluctance to speak may be evidence I was handicapped. My mother, doing something that was very unusual for her, simply stated that there was nothing wrong with me, in that cool but rude "I-don't-like-your-suggestion-so-you-better-tread-lightly-around-that-subject" tone of voice. Mother doesn't really spend time with that sewing circle anymore.
I made friends with Lucca, and that was about it. She was about the only person who didn't make fun of me because of my silence. Like my mother, she would often talk enough for both of us in our conversation. This tendency of hers only grew as we got older and she had more things to talk about. Originally when we were very small, she would suggest a game, and if I agreed, we'd do it. Eventually though, I became something of an emotional outlet for her. She'd rant on and on about the popular girls that she hated and would make fun of her helmet and glasses, and she'd tell me so many details about her new inventions in excited glee. Even though the technical terms went over my head, I didn't really mind, and I'd listen to her chatter for hours at a time. Sometimes I wonder if my silence was what led to her now massive ego.
Then came that big day when I met Marle. Ah yes, Marle. Unlike my mother or Lucca, who always seemed to do most of the talking or were otherwise able to get the drift of what I was thinking, she didn't seem to have either of those things. She's talk quite a bit, yes, but she would often pause and wait for me to say something. I think she was a little uneasy when I didn't say anything. She only knew my name because the Millenial Fair gave me a nametag at the entrance.
The others are pretty good about it. Ayla seems to take my silence as a symbol that I'm some powerful warrior beyond words. I think Robo is pretty good at reading people though facial expressions and body language, so he gets me. Frog seems to take it in good humor. Magus, seems to relate as he's a bit of a quiet guy, too. He always did seem to like me and Robo more then the others.
I still think it's hard on Marle, though. On that night when she and the others did that thing that somehow teleported me from in front of Lavos to that mountain, she hugged me and spilled her heart out to me. She then asked if I was listening, as my silence suggested otherwise. She may have felt hurt.
I may have to try to conquer this problem if our relationship is gonna to continue. While I don't see what's so uncomfortable about an uncomfortable silence, I'd rather not see her feel bad. I may need to see a shrink to fix this problem, though.
... It's not like I'm being quiet on purpose...
...It's just... there should be something better then words, right? Some higher form of communication that exists not as limited or constricting?
I'd ask Magus right now, but I don't have a pen to write it out.