Omochao's Revenge

"The… Onion of Doom?" choked Omochao, laughing.

"Yes," glared Eggman. "We'll discuss it over lunch!"

"Why can't we just discuss it now?" asked Omochao.

"Because I always think better on a full stomach," smiled Eggman.

"I suppose this means I'll have to cook for you again," grumbled Omochao.

"No," said Eggman happily. "We're going out to lunch!"

So, the two of them walked a little down the block to Dudley's Bar and Grill, the most fashionable diner in town.

"Welcome to Dudley's Bar and Grill," said a bored waiter. "May I take your order?"

"You can't take anything of mine!" shouted Omochao. "However, you can listen to my order and tell the chef what I ordered!"

"… That's what I meant," said the waiter, already regretting his job as Eggman snarled menacingly at Omochao.

"Hmmm… in that case, I'll have a grilled cheese sandwich, with… um… French fries, and some Sierra Mist," said Omochao.

"What a lightweight," spat Eggman in contempt. "Listen, young youngster, I'll have the broiled lobster, the boiled squash, the lemon chicken, the curry, the smoked salmon, the tuna melt, the corn dog, the roast beef, the ham, the meatloaf, the steamed duck, the baked potato, the…"

The waiter scribbled furiously, steam emitting from his pencil and threatening to set the notepad on fire.

"… fruit salad, the salad bar, a Jack Daniels on the rocks, and an omelette!" finished Eggman.

"Gee, Eggman, aren't you worried that won't be enough?" asked Omochao snidely. "We wouldn't want you wasting away."

"Shut your trap," growled Eggman threateningly. "Now, about the Onion of Doom, that's just a codename."

Omochao sighed in relief.

"It will be a large robot, part tank, part helicopter, part submarine and part onion."

"Wait… I thought you said it had nothing to do with onions!" objected Omochao.

"First of all, I didn't say that, and second, it's only part onion because it will be painted in camouflage colors to help it blend in with onions!" Eggman informed him.

"Why would we ever be in a situation where we had to blend in with onions?" hissed Omochao.

"I was in one once," sniffed Eggman. "I remember it like it was yesterday… what's today's date?"

"The 21st," said Omochao.

"Oh, so it was yesterday," said Eggman.

Before a flashback could take place, the waiter appeared with the food.

"Where's my food?" growled Eggman menacingly.

"We have some of it, but not all of it, sir," said the waiter. "We're calling other restaurants, and a meat processing plant from out of state has about three hundred pounds of meat that was in your order."

"Well, get me what you have!" shouted Eggman.

Omochao prodded the grilled cheese sandwich suspiciously. "Waiter! What chef made this grilled cheese?"

"Chef Jenkins, sir," said the waiter.

Omochao suddenly looked suspicious. "Please send him out here."

Chef Jenkins, who mercifully bore no resemblance to the infamous Pappy Jenkins, walked out. "What would you like, sir?"

"This grilled cheese sandwich is cut diagonally," said Omochao in a low voice, clenching his fist. "Do you usually cut it horizontally or diagonally? ANSWER ME, MAN!"

"I'd have to say horizontally, sir," quailed the chef.

"I'm glad you answerer with that… for your sake," said Omochao ominously. "Did you use bread from a store, or did you bake your own?"

"I… I'm not sure, sir," said the chef.

"Not sure?" questioned Omochao, staring with eyes of fire at the terrified chef. "Well, maybe you'll remember the answer when you're boiling in the furnaces of Satan!"

"No! No!" shrieked the chef. "It was store bought bread, I tell you! Store bought!"

"Good," hissed Omochao. "One final question… do you put on your apron first, or your chef's hat?"

"Neither, I put on my oven mitts," said the chef.

Omochao looked enraged. Suddenly the chef burst into flames and ran through a wall, screaming.

"Well, that was cheerful," said Eggman blandly, eating his fruit salad.

"So…" said Omochao. "When do we attack Sonic and his friends in the Onion of Doom?"

Eggman smirked. "In a week."

Dun dun dunnnnn! What will happen to Sonic and his friends? Or Omochao? And how did he set that Chef on fire? Find out in the next chapter! And you'll get a new chapter by reviewing!

This does not guarantee that you will find anything out.