Omochao's Revenge

Eggman and Omochao didn't have much to do. All the robots were hard at work creating the Onion of Doom, Metal Sonic was hard at work sitting around watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force and anything on Adult Swim, and Omochao and Eggman were hard at work not working hard.

"I walk this empty street, in the Boulevard of Broken Dreams, where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one…" sang Omochao absently, twirling a knife between his fingers.

"Sir?" asked a robot, walking in.

Omochao yelped in fear. He hurled the knife at the robot (it missed) and launched himself away, knocking over the couch and causing a huge amount of debris to fly up into the air, uprooting floor tiles and shattering the walls. Chunks of stone, wood and glass hurtled in an intricate ballet of chaos as… OK, all that Omochao did was jump a little and drop the knife.

"What is it?" hissed Eggman, upset.

"The Onion of Doom is nearly 30 percent complete," said the robot.

Omochao was about to launch into another one of his threatening speeches, but the robot left before this could happen.

"Drat," scowled Omochao. He then picked up the knife and continued singing. "When the pimp's in the crib, ma, drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot…"

"Time for breakfast!" announced Eggman spontaneously, jumping up and almost hitting himself on a clock that read that it was 5 in the evening.

Omochao was about to protest, but Eggman quickly explained that minor detail away by saying that the clock was off and that it was really 5 in the morning.

"Wait," said Omochao. "Wouldn't we still be in bed? I mean, what kind of unholy abomination of life would be up before 10 in the morning?"

"Um… pretty much every child in existence," said Eggman.

"Useless brats," huffed Omochao. "I mean, they don't even grow up into useful adults or anything!"

Eggman was about to object, but the breakfast menu arrived. (They sure eat a lot around here…)

"Hmmm… I'll have the waffles," said Eggman.

"Say it ain't so!" roared Omochao, suddenly looking grim.

"What?" asked Eggman, confused.

"That does it," seethed Omochao, his face contorting in rage and his voice cooler than Snoop Dogg in shades. "I endure fire and wrath and ruin, pass through time and thought, go to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower (a point to anyone who can tell me what Omochao references in those phrases) I forge an alliance with you, and I find you support the cause of waffles?" A vein appeared in Omochao's temple, which was unusual considering that he had no blood or veins. "Of all the underhanded, dirty, low-down traitorous tricks to play! Pancakes are quite clearly the supreme!"

"Now listen here, robot," snarled Eggman, lifting his immense weight out of the chair and staring down Omochao. "I have nothing against pancakes. They're quite good, actually. But the man who tells me that waffles are lesser breakfast consumables than waffles," his voice rose several octaves to an impassioned cry, "is the man who meets his death at the end of my gun!"

"Well, it's a good thing I'm a robot, not a man," sneered Omochao. "But of all the things! Our alliance is over! Kaput! Null and void!"

"So be it," snorted Eggman. "I'd rather impale myself on a sword than have an alliance with someone as different from me as you!"

"I'd rather have you impale yourself on a sword than have an alliance with someone as different from me as you, too," admitted Omochao happily.

Eggman clenched the air with his fists. "This means war!"

Uh-oh… will the Onion of Doom ever be made? Will Eggman and Omochao really fight, and who will win? And will Omochao stop singing? Find out by reviewing!