We Only Live to Serve
'Tie your napkin 'round your chin, cherie, and we provide the rest. Soup du Jour! Hot hors d'oeuvres! Why, we only live to serve!'
The next morning, Lily and Asper awoke to find Morena snoring and Esedora already gone.
"I guess she went down to breakfast," said Lily, shrugging.
"She could have waited, though," grumbled Asper.
When they got down to the Great Hall, they did indeed find Esedora. But she was not alone. Lily and Asper raised their eyebrows at each other.
"Well, well, well," whispered Asper. "Isn't this interesting."
"Perhaps you weren't so off base after all," giggled Lily. "Didn't I say to give it time?"
"Oh, hi," said Esedora, looking up self-consciously. "Remus and I had, uh, Potions homework to go over."
Lily smiled and took the seat next to Esedora. "Did you get it figured out?" Esedora nodded, turning a slight shade of pink. "Come on, Asper," said Lily, "I, um, left something in our dormitory."
"Oh, Lily –"
"Come on."
~
"What, Evans, if I may ask, is the big idea?" sputtered James, pushing wet hair out of his eyes.
"Old Muggle trick," said Lily smugly. "Knew you'd fall for it."
Sirius was studying the top of the door. "Brilliant," he said to himself. "If it's perched at just the right angle – and then the door is opened – brilliant!"
"Glad you approve, Padfoot," growled James, "but in case you hadn't noticed, I am all wet!"
"Fancy that," said Sirius, with an air of cool unconcern.
Lily rolled her eyes, whipped out her wand, and muttered a quick spell to remove the water. "Honestly," they heard her muttering as she headed back towards the common room, "they're like children."
~
Remus was smiling slightly as he pretended to study for Charms.
"What's so funny, Moony?" Remus shook his head, but Sirius persisted. "See that third year over there?" asked Remus, and Sirius looked over at the boy by the fire.
"What's he looking at?" asked Sirius, perplexed.
"Follow his gaze," Remus told him. A look of comprehension passed over Sirius' face. "He's been glancing over at her all afternoon," said Remus, now grinning. "Either that or she'll look over her shoulder at him."
As they watched, the two third years happened to look at each other at the same time. They promptly blushed and turned back to their friends with slightly idiotic looks on their faces.
"Ahh," said Sirius, clearly enjoying the drama. "What odd romantic habits third years have."
"Whereas your habits were always to swoop the girl off to a broom cupboard somewhere."
"Had to stop using that broom cupboard on the second floor, though, after McGonagall opened it looking from some Mrs. Skowers All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover," said Sirius, wincing at the memory. "She wasn't terribly pleased."
"I can imagine," said Remus, looking amused.
~
That night, Esedora was still studiously avoiding their eyes as they all worked on their homework.
"Owww," said Asper, rubbing her temples. "My brain hurts."
"I can just see all the teachers gathering together and plotting how to make our lives miserable," said Lily, hunched over a Muggle Studies essay.
"They're pretty good at it, aren't they," muttered Esedora.
"What's that you're working on, Esedora?" asked Asper suddenly.
Esedora glanced up. "Potions, why?"
"Really? But I thought you got that all figured out this morning!"
"Asper," said Lily, trying to conceal her laughter and sound disapproving at the same time, "leave the poor girl alone."
"Well, we figured out most of it," Esedora defended herself. "I just, er, have a little more work to do on it."
"Sure," said Asper, giving her an exaggerated wink. "Y'know, I can remember when you were all moony over Sirius."
"Not that you're one to talk," Lily pointed out with a smug smile.
"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," said Asper airily, returning to her homework.
"Oh, I'm sure too," said Esedora, exchanging glances with Lily.
"Shhh!" instructed Asper. "I'm trying to work here!" The two girls rolled their eyes and bent over their parchment once again. As the clock beat out the times, the common room slowly emptied out.
"I'm going up to bed," said Asper, stretching and rubbing her eyes. "I simply can't hold any more information."
"I'll come with you," Esedora said as she stood up. "Coming, Lily?"
"No," said Lily distractedly, "I've still got a lot of work to do."
"Right," said Asper with a sigh. "I still don't understand why you're taking so many courses."
"I told you, I –"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. You've got to get top marks on the NEWTs. But honestly, Lily, why are you taking Muggle Studies? You're Muggle-born, for Merlin's sake!"
"Oh, but it's fascinating to study them from the wizard's point of view!" said Lily, managing to sound earnest even at midnight.
Asper shook her head. "Hopeless," she muttered to Esedora. "Come on, let's go to bed."
"Bye," said Lily distractedly. "I'll be up later."
But the clock sang out two chimes, and Lily was still up. She heard a rustle by the boys' dormitory and looked up, adrenaline pumping from lack of sleep.
"Who's there?"
"It's just me, Evans," said James, clearly irritated.
"What're you doing up, Potter?"
"We-ell," said James, drawing the word out, "it's just the strangest thing, really."
"Oh?" said Lily, raising an eyebrow.
"Why, yes. You see, every time I roll over, my bed sheets begin to sing."
"They sing, Potter?"
"Indeed they do, Evans. I believe the song goes something like this." He began humming a slightly off-key version of 'Someday My Prince Will Come.' "Now, you wouldn't have any idea how that might have happened, do you, Evans?" he continued, his tone dangerously polite.
"I can't imagine," said Lily, coolly meeting his gaze.
"Forget it," said James, dropping into a chair. "I'm clearly not going to get anywhere."
Lily smiled in a self-satisfied manner.
"What're you working on, anyway?" James wanted to know.
"Muggle Studies essay," she said, handing him a course outline while continuing to write. James took the paper and read in annoyance.
Muggle Studies Course Outline
I. Daily Lives
a) Common Muggle Expressions
b) Clothing
II Transportation
a) The 'Tube'
b) Cars and how they work
c) The purpose of 'bicycles'
III Muggle Inventions
a) Electricity
b) Items used in the kitchen
c) Computers: Are they really necessary?
d) The 'Internet' and what it's used for
e) Television
IV History
a) Ancient History from a Muggle's perspective
b) Witch persecution
c) How wizards influenced history
V Muggle Childhoods
a) Early Schooling
b) Dodgeball: A Lesson in Cruelty
c) Exposure to Society
VI Games and Sports
a) Football
b) Tennis
c) Basketball
d) Cricket
e) American Football
f) Racquetball: What's the Point?
VII American Muggles
a) Differences in Language
b) An Indulgent Culture
c) Literature
VII Why It's Important To Understand Muggles
a) Many Wizards or Witches Work Closely With Muggles
b) Blending In
c) A Healthy Appreciation
"Er, Lily," he said, "aren't you Muggle born?"
"Yes," said Lily, pushing her red hair out of her eyes. "So?"
"Then wouldn't you know this stuff?"
Lily rolled her eyes and ignored him.
James watched her in silence for a few minutes before he spoke. "What's your problem, Evans?"
Lily's quill paused, and the absence of the scratching magnified the silence. "Excuse me?"
"Look," said James. "I have tried and tried and tried to be nice to you. But can't you ever have a normal conversation?"
"Not right now," said Lily, resuming her writing.
"Your stomach rumbled."
"It did not."
"See!"
cried James. "You can't even agree with
me about the simplest thing!"
"Fine," groaned Lily. "I'm just hungry."
"I can fix that," said James triumphantly.
"What, do you hoard food in your dormitory?"
"No," said James, pulling Lily to her feet, "but I do know how to get into the kitchens."
"We'll get caught," said Lily, who looked nonetheless delighted at the prospect of this sort of adventure.
James smiled. "Wait right here," he said mysteriously. He returned moments later from his dormitory, holding a bundle of silvery material in his arms. "You've got to promise not to tell anyone about this."
"Is that an Invisiblity Cloak?" gasped Lily.
"Promise!"
"I promise," said Lily quickly, and reached out for the cloak. "Wow," she said, and James smiled.
"Come on," he said, and draped the cloak over them.
"Good thing it's big," said Lily as they turned a corner on the fifth floor, "we keep crashing into each other as it is."
James, who didn't particularly mind that particular aspect of the journey, merely admonished her to be quiet. "You don't want to get caught, do you?"
He stopped in front of a large painting of a silver fruit bowl. "Tickle the pear."
Lily stared at him as if he had gone completely mad. "What?"
"Just do it. Trust me."
Still eyeing him suspiciously and feeling stupid, Lily tickled the pear. The pear began to giggle and squirm, and suddenly turned into a large green doorknob. "Oh," she said.
"Master James Potter!" squealed a small, wrinkled elf, and the pale green blur smacked into his knees.
"Hello, Piper," he said, laughing slightly.
"But who's this?" asked Piper, turning her large eyes on Lily.
"I'm Lily Evans," said Lily, crouching down to Piper's eye level.
"Oh," said Piper, nodding so hard that her ears flapped. "Yes, we is often hearing of you."
"Er," said James, turning rather pink about the ears, "you couldn't get us a bit of food, could you?"
"Of course, Master Potter," said Piper. "Piper only lives to serve!"
Lily blanched, and no less than three house elves zoomed over to them with a plate of snacks.
"But what is two fine students like you doing up so late?" asked Piper, hanging on the end of the table where Lily and James were eating. "House-elves isn't needing so much sleep, no sir, Piper hardly ever rests, but then we is working hard all day long and Piper doesn't have time to sleep."
Lily frowned. "Don't you –" she began, but James kicked her under the table. "What was that for?" she demanded.
"Don't try it," said James quietly. "You can't change their minds, they like work, and if you start getting them all stirred up they'll kick you out. Trust me, I've tried."
"You have?"
"Well, yeah," said James, shrugging. "Doesn't seem right for them to work so hard without pay. But that's what they like, work, and change isn't going to happen fast. Even if it should."
Lily stared at him.
"What?" he asked around a mouthful of food.
"Nothing," she said, grabbing an apple. "It's just – nice, that's all."
"See?" said James, looking triumphant. "Even I have a nicer side. You'll be surprised what you'll find out about people when you get to know them."
"Guess so," said Lily slowly. "But what was it she said – 'We only live to serve?' How did they get the idea that their lives are to serve humans?"
"Wish I knew," said James. "But that's all they know now."
"Are they happy?"
James smiled sadly. "They think they are." They continued eating in relative silence, ignoring the concerned looks cast upon them by the busy house elves.
"Thanks for taking me here, Potter," said Lily, rubbing her eyes.
The next morning, however, they awoke to the incessant prodding of many tiny fingers.
"Lily Evans and James Potter must leave, sir!" said Piper, looking anxious. "We isn't able to get breakfast ready on time! It isn't going to be good!"
"Sorry," said Lily groggily, "we didn't mean to fall asleep."
They were pushed out the door and headed up to their dormitory, laughing slightly at the absurdity of the manner in which they were woken up.
"Well, well, well," said Sirius, meeting them at the portrait hole and smirking hugely. "Where have you two been?"
"Honestly, Sirius," snapped Lily. "Get your mind out of the gutter. We had early morning patrol duty, that's all."
James was momentarily taken aback by how quickly she could lie, but came to his senses soon enough to nod blankly.
"Right," said Sirus with a roguish wink. "'Patrol duty'. I get it."
"We did, Padfoot," said James, glaring at Sirius.
"Fine," said Sirius, throwing up his hands. "But it's time for breakfast now."
"I'm going to walk with Asper and Esedora," said Lily. "See you later."
Author's Note: I have terribly erratic updating habits. So I have no idea when the next chapter is coming. At least we finally got to the L/J stuff.