Hello, all! I'm Orliobsessed and I'm Memory Untainted. After talking one night, we decided to submit this little skit to the site under a joint name. We often have little ramblings like this, so don't worry. We're not totally psychotic... Well, maybe she is. Thank you. Please, enjoy... Or feel our wrath!

(One fine Caribbean day, Captain Jack Sparrow was walking down the crowded streets of Tortuga. The smoke was drifting out of pub doors, the whores were washing at the fountains, and everywhere around him, men were reeling drunk. Ah... What a perfect day.)

Jack: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, and I'm on patrol... This is my beat... I'm walking my beat... This is my beat, and I'm walking it... Wait, wrong movie... I'm not in Mexico... Oh well then, I'm walking... the streets... Yes... -keeps walking-

Gibbs: Mornin', Jack. Where ye off to?

Jack: YOU! MY EVIL TWIN FROM THE 11 1/6 DIMENSION!

Gibbs: Uh yeah... that's right... -a little drunk, so will agree for the moment-

Jack:UNITE WITH ME...! And we shall walk my beat together.

Gibbs: Righto!

Jack: -walking his beat-

Gibbs: -walking same beat-

Scarlet: -standing on a corner, innocent whistling-

Gibbs: -trying to whistle, but can't- WHO ARE YOU!

Drunk Pirate in a second-floor room in a pub: Stop that whistling! Some of us are trying to sleep!

Scarlet: No one, just an innocent bystander. -more whistling-

Gibbs: Uh huh... that's what all the bad people say!

Jack: No, they usually say "vhriwogjwgjwjgw," but that's another story.

Scarlet: Quite...

Gibbs: Oh... okay...

Scarlet: -back to whistling-

DPIASFRIAP: -throws a shoe at whistler-

Scarlet: -dies... well, concussion, at least-

Gibbs: Somebody call Scotland Yard!

Jack: -moutful of cherry tart- hurm?

Gibbs: Nevermind...

Jack: Okay...

Gibbs: Where did you get that tart?

Jack: A dog dropped it...?

Gibbs: Oh... why are you eating it then?

Jack: It looked tasty... and it is. Want some!

Gibbs: No thanks... That's pretty nasty...

Jack: -devours tart-

Gibbs: -throws up-

Giselle: -gets puked on- I just took my bi-yearly bath and washed this!

Gibbs: I think you should go to a doctor, that tart could kill you!

Giselle: You puked on me!

Gibbs: I don't want you to die!

Jack: I feel fine. But you puked on that lady. I think she's gonna beat you with her shoe...

Gibbs: Oh well, her fault for just standing there.

Giselle: -beats Gibbs/ Jack's Evil Twin from the 11 1/6 Dimension with her shoe, giving him a major concussion-

Gibbs: Tell... my... mom that... I... broke ... that... window... when I... was... 12... not the... dog... -passes out-

Jack: -takes his finger out of his nose- What? I wasn't listening. Come again? -nudges him- Hey...? You awake...? -raps on Gibbs's head with his fist- Anyone in there...?

Gibbs: -twitches-

Jack: Heh... You twitch... -pokes him with a stick-

Gibbs: -siezure!-

Jack: -backs away slowly- It wasn't me...

Gibbs: -stops with the seizure-

Jack: -more stick poking-

Gibbs: -wakes up- Um.. What are you doing?

Jack: -tosses the stick away- Nothing...

Gibbs: -gets up- Who are you?

Jack: Why, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, of course. -much pompous chest puffing-outness-

Gibbs: That still really doesn't tell me who you are... -slowly backing away-

Jack: Of course it does... Everyone knows me...

Gibbs: Where am I!

Jack: You're on my beat.

Gibbs: Like a drum?

Jack: No... My patrol beat...

Gibbs: So I am on patrol too? Can I have a raise?

Jack: No! No raise! But you can have one of these delicious tarts. -offers tart-

Gibbs: Okay. -takes tart, practically inhales it-

Jack: That's the spirit! A minute ago you didn't want it because some dog dropped it!

Gibbs: A dog dropped this!

Jack: Quite! Aren't they good!

Gibbs: -runs away screaming-

Jack: Such a sad, strange little man...

Fin

Well, that's all she wrote, ladies and gents. Two "she"s. This is our first joint fic, so please be understanding.