(depression)
"Come on; cheer up! You'll love this place. Best sake in town; I swear."
Why did I ever let Chou drag me out like this? He'd come barging into my room; telling me he couldn't stand to see me moping around any longer, declaring that it would do me good to get out. He wouldn't take "no" for an answer; even picked out a kimono for me to wear, winking, telling me he liked me all dolled up.
But everything we pass reminds me of Yuki…There's the bathhouse where we first met…Our favorite restaurant…The places we shopped; when he would treat me to new clothes. The inn he worked at…Sweet Buddha in Heaven; I can't deal with this.
Chou's drawl is growing distant. I wonder absently why I never noticed how much he talks. Every thought lately has been absent.
I can't focus.
And, dammit, I'm about to start crying again.
"Oi! 'Tari…" He looks over his shoulder, both eyes wide; a rare sight in itself. "Don't start with the tears again!"
"I…" Sniffling, I try to wipe the tears away, "I can't help it…I m-miss him so much…" I hug myself, desperately longing for warmth in the one place I know I will never again find it. "I want to die…I can't do this…"
He whirls fully around, hands on my shoulders, slamming me into the wall of a nearby building. "Yeah ya can!" He growls, "You've made it six months, Kamatari. Six months! Souji an' I sure ain't about to let you roll over and die now."
Intense brown eyes stare into mine until his face dissolves. Tears are streaming down my face. "It's not your choice…It's not your life…"
He looks at me knowingly; crushes his lips against mine. "Ain't your choice neither."
And I cry harder.