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Reflection of the Moon

Butterfly · Ruby Butterfly

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What should I do?

I didn't know. The normally cheerful wait under the cherry trees now seemed to stretch on forever, as I half wished To-ya to come quick, while the other half wanted to avoid him. I knew I should listen to Akizuki-san, but this was a bit too abrupt, I mean, I couldn't just erase To-ya from my life all of a sudden. Maybe . . . maybe I should see if there really were rumors first. If there really were, then . . . I could still start avoiding him tomorrow. It wasn't too late, was it?

"Morning, Yuki." I was jolted out of my thoughts, and found To-ya already in front of me. He seemed even more stony than usual. I barely managed a smile, and asked, "Where is Sakura-chan today?" Just try to be casual, be causal . . .

"She left early. Cheerleading practice." He replied as I climbed onto the bike.

"Don't you have soccer practice – but I was cut off as we hit a bump on the road, causing me to change my light grip on him shoulders to holding him around the waist. He was so warm . . . Unconsciously, I leaned my head against his back and hugged him tighter. Perhaps this would be the last time . . . I just wanted to remember his warmth, and never let go. Never let go . . .

"Yuki, we're here." I quickly relinquished my hold and stammered an apology.

"Kinomoto-san!" a person whom I recognized as one of his soccer teammates shouted, "The coach is looking for you."

"Fine, I'm coming! See you later, Yuki," and he rushed off. I couldn't help but notice the furtive glance that person cast me before he followed To-ya and left.

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The feeling got stronger and stronger as he walked from the place where they parked the bicycle to the school building, it was like someone as always staring at him. Also, the students seemed to be whispering a lot today, and he was sure more than one of them had pointed at him. It was starting to make him nervous.

As he pushed open the door of the school building, all the things seemed to have frozen, not even a sound was heard, and all eyes were gathered on him. A second later, the crowd burst into chattering. Yukito tried to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach and made way to his locker.

"I'm just over reacting, that's all," he told himself, and his hopes rose a bit when he saw his locker, the same as usual.

But pieces and bits of paper drifted out once he opened it. All the textbooks were torn. Files and binders were ripped apart; almost nothing was left in one piece, except a note that said, "We don't need a fag like you in our school."

Slamming the door shut, he leaned heavily against it, his knees no longer able to support him. "No, this couldn't be happening . . ." he murmured, "To-ya . . . he . . . he mustn't find out." Then he turned abruptly and madly started throwing everything form his locker into the trash. After that he opened and checked Touya's locker, which appeared to be very fine. He heaved a sigh of relief.

At least they had not hurt Touya.

"Yuki, are you all right? You look rather pale," Touya said, making Yukito jump.

Laughing nervously, he replied, "No, I'm fine. I've got something to talk about with the archery captain, so I'll see you in class. Bye." And with that, he sped away, leaving a confuse Touya staring after him.

Yukito ran and ran, until he reached the archery club. From now on, he had to avoid Touya as much as possible, and one way of not riding with Touya every morning was having to arrive early. A good excuse would be archery practice. He was still rather positive that the captain would accept him into the team, since he had helped out so many times. But then . . .

"Good morning, Miyabe-san," he tried smiling, but wasn't sure if it succeeded, "I would like to join the archery club."

The normally friendly captain didn't' smile in return; he just eyed Yukito for a long while before saying hesitantly, "Yes, I suppose that you can join. But if you get into trouble or . . .:

The rest of the sentence was lost to him, as the look on the archery captain's face alone was enough to rip him apart. His relationship with the whole team had always been on the best terms, and now, just because of some rumors, everything was destroyed. Just how fragile was the relationship between humans? And what did Miyabe mean by "trouble"? "Trouble" because hew as friends with Touya? Because people despised him for something h had never done?

"Thank you, Miyabe-san," he bowed politely and left, even though he wasn't sure if the receiver had finished talking. H e just couldn't bear to stay a second more. But where could he go? Where could he hide? He didn't know, but still kept walking.

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I had been thinking the whole of last night about what Akizuki had said. Of course I was somewhat disturbed to know that Yuki, or Yue, would be meeting that Clow guy, but I shouldn't stop him. It was within his right to do what he wanted. I admit that I was afraid of losing him, and as much as I wanted to ask him, I didn't, because I had no wish of making him uncomfortable by letting him know that I was breaking into his privacy. I would respect any choice he made.

As for the other thing about him getting near me because of my powers, I didn't believe one bit. I never would have become friends with him if he had been lying, and I could pretty much see when he lies.

For example, before he rushed away, the smile that he gave me wasn't true he was hurting inside. Normally I would have asked but most likely it would be on the subject of Clow, so I did not probe further. I believed in him to make the right decision for himself.

Just then, the door opened and Yuki came in. I could see that he was having a hard time keeping that smile on him face, and surprisingly, no one greeted him. I didn't put much thought into it, as Yuki had already sat down in the seat beside mine. A tension that never existed between us now almost drove me crazy. He was looking at anywhere but at me, and we hadn't' exchanged a word. I cleared my throat and said, "Yuki, where are your textbooks?"

He stared at the table, "I took them home yesterday and forgot to bring them. To-ya, I wont' be going with you to school from now. I have joined the archery club, and needs to come to school early every morning. Don't' wait for me today. I have to go to the bookstore."

He was avoiding me. I opened my mouth to protest, but then decided otherwise. Perhaps he just needed time alone to think through the problems. I sighed, "Fine, but at least share the textbook with me now."

"No, thanks. I think I can do without it." And he turned his head away form me. His voice trembled.

"Yuki!" I exclaimed, exasperated, "I won't interfere with your decisions, but use my textbook for today. I f you dot' want to share, it's fine with me." I placed the book at the corner of his table, but he put it back on mine immediately. Anger pent up in me, though I knew fairly well that this was not something to be angry for. I slammed the book onto his table, then stood in front of him, speaking in a low voice, I said, "Yuki, I don't know what you re thinking, but I've promised you that no matter what happens, I'll still be your friend, so don't avoid me."

But he remained silent, eyes downcast. I reached out to touch his face, but he recoiled, then stood up abruptly and turned to leave. The anger in me burst out, and I grabbed him by the wrist forcefully and pulled him around until he was facing me.

Tears were coursing down his cheeks. Even though he was trying to hide his eyes from my gaze, the hurt and pain reflected in them were evident. The droplets of tears were like crystals rolling down his ivory skin, but they seemed to be burning holes in my heart. The anger was long forgotten.

"Y . . . Yuki, I'm sorry," I said softly, wiping away a tear using my thumb, " I shouldn't have been so bad-tempered. I was just . . . just angry that you are avoiding me. I shouldn't have." And I pulled him into a gently hug, feeling his body shaking with quiet sobs. "I'm sorry."

"Let me go," he whispered, barely audible, and I unwillingly loosened my hold. He then ran out of the classroom without once looking up at me.

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No, To-ya, you shouldn't be apologizing. It was all my fault, that I had brought this upon myself, and you had to pay for my actions too. But please, please understand that I was doing all that because I didn't want you to get hurt, even though I knew clearly that I was hurting you in the process. I had no choice.

All these I wanted to tell him, to make him understand, but I couldn't bring more harm to him. How I wished to just remain in his arms and forget everything that was happening, and only see him, only feel him, only hear him. The way he apologized would normally have made me so happy, but now every ounce of that happiness had turned into bitterness.

Did you know, To-ya, that how much it hurt me to push you away? That how heart wrenching it was to speak to you as if we were strangers? And that how many tears I shed as I ran away from you?

I had no idea how long I had ran, and where my legs had brought me to, until someone shouted, "Isn't he the sissy they talked about?" then the next thing I knew, I had been slammed against a tree, with four other guys surrounding me.

"What are you doing here, Mr. Bunny? Why is a top student like you skipping classes?" one of them asked with a snide laughter. "Look, the Kinomoto is not with him. What? Trying to stop the rumors? Too bad everyone knows now. So if we give you a little 'punishment' for breaking so many girls' hearts, I don't think anyone will blame us, huh?"

Everyone knew, everyone knew . . . but we didn't do anything! I wanted to yell, but was too tired to do so.

One of them lit a cigarette, and I coughed as the acrid smoke wafted into my nose. "You know what I hate most?" the one smoking said, " I hate those top students, teacher's pets and popular people, because they are all hypocrites. They never dare to do what they want, and honors too much how they are being seen in other people's eyes. They trap themselves in a small circle, and yet they are pitying people like us, who have all the freedom. Like you, once you are longer popular, you hide. You don't even have the courage to stand up against us, against all those people who are bullying you. So what if someone's hurt? if you can't even protect yourself, then no way you are going to protect others."

"AAHHH!!" I screamed as he took the cigarette and pressed it against my shoulder. I could smell the reek of burning flesh, and like a needle, it pierced through my senses. I crumpled to the ground when he finally took away the cigarette.

"This is just to give you a reminder. If you don't fight for yourself, then nobody will. Us letting you go this time doesn't mean others will too. Remember that." And they left, the last one leaving a kick on my back.

I was pathetic. I curled into a ball and wanted to shrink myself as small as possible, so small that I would disappear form the face of the planet. But I knew it was impossible. I couldn't disappear, because To-ya was still here; I couldn't' leave him. I had to fight for myself. But how? Didn't know. Too tried to think.

I braced myself to stand with shaking legs, then used every bit of my last energy to run the long way home.

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In the quiet schoolyard, a series of rustling of leaves suddenly erupted. Unnatural, but the last person who might have noticed had just run away. A tired and heartbroken creature who didn't' want to face the reality anymore.

"So, Suppi, how do you think of my plan? Their weakness is that they care about the each other more than themselves. And by suing that, I can make them completely unaware of what the other is thinking, since neither dares to voice their concerns in fear of hurting the opposite. Eventually, the trust they've built between themselves will totally crumble, same with their relationship. And then, Touya's magical powers will all be mine. It's not far anymore. Didn't you see how weak the false form was?"

"It is a good plan, Ruby Moon, but what about Yue? What if he interferes?"

"Oh he won't. He cares bout nobody but Clow. Besides, he will be too weak to do anything then . . . I'll have to go back to class. Thanks fro bringing my lunch for me, Suppi!" the huge pair of butterfly wings dissipated, and her hair changed to auburn as she leapt down lightly from the tree. Then she hurried back to the school building just like any normal girl.

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