Sorry! Sorry sorry! I was too busy in the last few weeks to update, because of schoolwork, tons of essays, blah, blah, blah. And I'm only in Grade 10. Poor me. Anyway, this is the second last chapter, and the next one will be the epilogue. Hope you enjoy it while it still lasts.

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Reflection of the Mon

Truth· Diamond Truth

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As soon as I said that, Yuki's eyes fluttered close and he fell limp into my arms. Just gazing at his serene expression, the knot built up by frustration and fear in the last few days slowly untied itself. It was nothing like the subconscious pain that was reflected on his face when he fell unconscious the prior week, and I silently promised myself to never let that expression appear again.

"To-ya . . ." I was started out of my reverie by his soft voice, and found him staring at me form his position in my lap. His amber eyes were solemn but gentle, like Yue. No, they were Yue's expressions, but then, he smiled, so sunny and bright that I no longer doubted that he was Yuki.

"What happened? Have you two made a pact or something?"

He turned serious and nodded, "We have merged together, which means that now, we are one person, thinking one thought and feeling the same thing. But when I have to use my powers, I have to turn into the form of Yue, yet my mind does not change, and so will it be when I transform back." The formal way he talked, I could see, came form Yue, but then he lowered his head, mumbling something in embarrassment, and that, I suppose, was from Yuki, though I had never seen Yue embarrassed before to correctly tell from who it came.

"I'm not sure if this is what you want. There would be some shift in mannerism in me, and . . . and I don't know if you are able to accept that . . . But if you can't, I promise I'll try to change back!" He proclaimed anxiously, gabbing hold of my hand and holding it tightly to his chest.

Quickly dipping down, I dropped a feather-like kiss on his forehead. "Why wouldn't I accept, silly? It's still you, the same caring, gently and kind person whom I fell in love with. I don't even care what your name is; your are just my Yuki."

His eyes glistened a little with tears, and he beamed. But suddenly, something dawned up on him and he frowned.

"What about he school, To-ya? I can be with you, but I don't want to let this hinder your future."

"You really know how to spoil the mood, don't you? Stop worrying about school. We'll figure something out, but I am not going to hide our relationship or avoid you, or do anything like that. Come on, it's still early, go back to sleep." I grinned and lay down on top of him, burying my face in the curve of his neck and marveled at how perfectly our bodies fit against each other.

"By the way," I murmured, "since you already have all your stuff packed up, why not just move into my house?"

"What!" he tried sitting up, but to no avail with my weight on him. Instead of letting go, I relaxed even more and kissed lightly along his neck. "You . . . you must be . . . kidding . . . right?" his breath hitched, and it took him a great deal of effort to get the sentence out. Mental note: this is a good way to stop Yuki form taking with too much formality.

"My father won't mind it, knowing him. You already come over four times a week anyway. It won't make much of a difference, only more convenient. Sakura would be more than happy, and it's also easier for you to protect her this way. You can sleep in the guestroom if you want, if not . . ." I left the sentence hanging in the air, and was amused to see Yuki's whole face flushing red. "So what do you say? I don't want you alone in this empty house."

"But . . . but . . ." He stammered, and I looked up at him in mock-innocence. "But what?"

Finally, he deflated. "Fine, but at least let me pay the rent."

"Good." I leaned down and kissed him firmly on the lips. "That is, if my father agrees to accept it."

"To-ya!"

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Before I knew it, I was already moving into the Kinomoto household. I had no idea what inspired To-ya to do so, but he had always been an over-protective person. Not that I was complaining, of course.

Kinomoto-sensei was only too kind, and agreed to the idea without a second thought. It was only after countless tries of convincing him did I stuff the rent money into his hands. He argued kindly that I had always been family to them, and suddenly, I found the trace of the fatherly side of Clow in him. Yes, now I had connected all my past and present, and remembered all the memories, no matter they were Yue's or Yukito's; they were all mine.

When I moved in my things, Kinomoto-sensei looked at me with a cryptic smile, and said that the guestroom was too messy, and need cleaning before someone were to move in there, thus I had to put up "temporarily" in To-ya's room.

"What about the sleeping arrangements, To-ya?" I asked after I had finished washing up for the night.

"What about it?" He replied nonchalantly, showing no signs of laying out the futon which I always slept on when I stayed over. Instead, he crawled under the covers, leaving me standing there, blushing and feeling like an idiot.

After a moment of awkward silence, he finally arched an eyebrow and looked at me. "What are you waiting for?" and he lifted up a corner of the quilt, inviting me. All the blood I had rushed to my face, and I opened my mouth, only to close them again without making a sound, doing a great imitation of a landed fish. To-ya just smirked.

Deciding that I had made enough fool of myself, I accepted To-ya's invitation, despite fearing that my heart would pump too fast that it would burst. But then, To-ya circle and arm around my waist, pulling me close, and I forgot where I was.

One last thought lingered in my mind before my eyes drifted shut. "What about school . . .?"

"Shh . . . Sleep now. Tomorrow, everything will be fine, I promise."

Yes . . . It will be fine . . . He promised . . . and I believed in him . . . I will always believe in him . . .

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"To-ya! Wake up!" I shouted as I pushed him roughly on the shoulder. It had been a surprisingly comfortable feeling to wake up having To-ya beside me, and I think that was the first time, for as long as I could remember (which was a long time), that I actually woke up feeling warm and safe. But that was before my embarrassment ate me up, and I pried myself off the bed. "To-ya! It's time for school! Wake up!"

"Mmm . . . Once more minute, Yuki," he mumbled and buried his face into the pillow.

I smiled. It felt as if we were newlyweds . . . Ack! My mind was wandering too far.

Finally, I got him up and ready for school. I rode behind him on the bicycle like I always did, before the whole incident, but it seemed like such a long time ago since I had last one this, as if that time had been another time period although. Well . . . in a sense it had been. Too many things had happened and changed, including myself.

The times To-ya spent with the old Yukito could never be found again, but I promised I would create even more memories between us, as a new me, as a person who dares to love, and wanted to receive love. I would not be afraid anymore.

As we neared the school building, more and more students appeared on the road. The world suddenly seemed so tense and quiet that it was suffocating, and the only sound that broke the silence were muffled whispers thrown into my face. I clenched my jaws and tightened my grip on To-ya's shoulder, leaning my head against his back. So what if others were watching? I didn't care.

The walk from the school gate toe the classroom became the longest walk I had ever embarked on. To-ya held my hand throughout, blatantly ignoring the stares and sneers we received, holding his head high as if there was nothing to be ashamed of. I tired to be like him, but my legs felt like lead, and I couldn't control my gaze form falling to the floor. I could feel eyes burning into me, staring at each of my actions as if I was some exotic creature, a despicable disease, a caged animal . . . Tension saturated the atmosphere, making every cell in my body stand on end.

"Look, the little fag has recovered. Too bad those bullies didn't put a few scratches on his face, huh, girls?" the leader of a group of girls jeered, coming up to block our way. With her remark, her followers burst out in mindless laughter, and a huge wave of chattering broke loose from the on-lookers, sounding like the buzz of a swarm of locusts.

To-ya pulled me close and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, attempting to walk out of the crowd that had unconsciously formed around us, but the girl who previously spoke stood up to us.

"Why do you bother going further? The school doesn't need trash like you!" she spat out.

I winced at her words, and To-ya lowred his head, letting his bangs cover his eyes, and growled something under shi breath. His body was shaking against mine.

"What did you say?" she jested him further, "too afraid that you can't even speak? As I thought. The admirable Kinomoto Touya is all but a stupid mask! You are nothing but a coward inside, and your sissy lover too. Tsukishiro is nothing - "

"I SAID GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!" To-ya roared, sinking his fist into the nearest locker, the explosion vibrating through the shock-stilled hallway. Nobody dared to move a muscle as To-ya's blazing eyes burned into them, one by one.

"I don't give a damn as to what you people think," he continued, low and menacing, "and I don't care if this is right or wrong, moral or immoral. Even if no other person in this world accepts us, I won't change; I won't leave Yuki no matter what." He tightened his arm around my shoulders, and I looked up to see the flames of determination and will smoldering in his eyes, and they melted away any fear that sill lingered in my mind. With renewed strength, I locked my gaze on the bewildered faces of the people in front of us, no longer caring if in their eyes carried the mockery and disgust that almost smothered me only moments ago. To-ya was my strength.

Raising his voice once again, To-ya stated clearly, firmly, "Whether you believe it or not, the fact is that I love Yuki. Think as you like, but if anyone were to harm one hair on Yuki, I guarantee I would not be able to control my actions. Is that clear?"

Putting extra stress on the last three words, he swept his eyes coldly over the crowd one last time, before taking me and cutting through them in a few large strides.

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Only when we were in a more secluded hallway did I finally let out the breath I didn't realized I was holding. The furious pounding of my heart had yet to die down, and it felt as I fall my energy was spent, even though I did not even open my mouth. I was exhausted and stopped walking, leaning limply against To-ya. But along with the exhaustion came relief and triumph, like a marathon runner who had finally reached the finishing line. The huge boulder was at long last removed form my shoulders. We had fought against the pressure and won.

"How are you feeling, Yuki?" To-ya asked, wrapping an arm loosely around my waist and pulling me to rest fully against him.

A wide grin spread across my face, "I don't think I've ever felt so light since the whole chaos started."

"Good," he smiled, dropping a kiss on my cheek, "let's go to the classroom. We'll who them that we're not afraid."

Once we stepping into the classroom, a group of girls looked hesitantly at each other, before approaching us timidly. To-ya cast them a wary glance before automatically stepping up to block me from them. "What do you want?" he asked sharply.

"Umm . . . We just want to say that . . . We are sorry. We really feel bad for ignoring the both of you in the last few days, even though we do not see your actions as wrong. It's just that all the people were doing that, and . . . and if we stood up for you, we were afraid to be alienated ourselves. We didn't do anything to help even when Tsukishiro-san was hurt so badly –"

"It's all right," I cut them off, stepping out from behind To-ya, "we don't blame you for the things that happened. I was told once that if you are not going to stand up for yourself, then nobody would. If only we dared to fight back earlier, then those incidents would not have happened. Who would bother to support someone who has even lost confidence in himself? But now, we promise we would fight for ourselves, even if nobody approves of us. So your support really mean s a lot, and I have nothing but gratitude." I smile at them gently, and To-ya took hold of my hand, giving it a light squeeze.

"Really!" They exclaimed, and in the next second, they were all over us, expressing their gratefulness albeit too enthusiastically.

I glanced at To-ya, who had an exasperated and trapped expression on his face as the girls continued to attack him with questions of our "personal affairs", and burst out laughing.

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Everything was finally back to normal. Rumors, bullying and catcalls had all stopped, and after a few days, people finally dared to look at me without flinching again. But while these people were busy being scared, another group had found a fan club for Yuki and me. They had now become the bane of my existence in school, popping way-too-private questions at me everyday.

I was still the captain for the soccer team, and the other player had already apologized. Yuki and the archery club were on fair terms again, but he refused their invitation to join the club once more, saying that he still preferred coming to school with me.

Sometimes I wonder why those huge waves of discrimination in the school towards us could ebb away so fast, or was there really a big discrimination at all towards homosexuality in the first place? Perhaps this incident only caused such a huge uproar because too many people were envious of us, o f our popularity in school. And perhaps the uproar could last because even though not everyone disapproved of us, nobody dared to stand up. People had become too conscious of what other think of them to spare some thought as to what they truly feel about others, and about what they should really fight for.

Which was the strongest? The power of discrimination, jealousy or peer pressure? Or really, we ourselves?

As long as we could break through our ego, then everything else would be unable to bother us anymore. If only we could be true to ourselves, then we would never be lost. I had not yet reached that level, which was why I could not live without Yuki. Only he can remind me of what I was fighting for, and who I really was, because only he can see the true me I had yet to find.

I glanced at Yuki as the teacher droned off, and our eyes met, brining a simultaneous smile to our faces.

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