Author's Note: Yep. Here's chapter 4. I'm just shelling these things out. In this one you'll learn a little bit more about Rikku's past and yeah. I'm really starting to find it hard to find sentences to end this with. But eh, I like this story and it's keeping me busy, so it's all good. Yes, yes, I know Auron's a bit OOC, but hopefully in this chapter you'll see why I'm writing him like this. Anyways, enjoy, and again, much thanks to my lovely Kristenems.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to . . . "

Almost. Almost. Perhaps she wasn't as strong as once thought. The shadow almost had her, but almost doesn't count. Almost doesn't matter. What did matter, however, was how easily she defeated the darkness . . . and how sudden. It was as if something just snapped within her, she could become a threat to the blackness. She could be victorious. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. If she could fight darkness, would she be affected by the secrets? Could her purity be tainted here, down where the secrets lie?

-

Dreamless slumber faded as life was displayed in her delicate body once again. Eyelids lifted and she found herself in the exact same position she had been in when she had drifted off, and wow! The darkness was gone. Though everything was strangely monochromatic, like an old-fashioned black and white movie. She picked herself up from the cold colorless rock that had substituted as her bed. Swirled jade eyes swept across the scenery of the cavern, from the grayscale rocks and gaping mouth of the passageway that lead further into the darkness to the high, arching ceiling and a little slip of paper on the ground. Wait a second . . . a piece of paper? Another note from Auron? She bent down and lifted the paper, studying it.

Her name was printed neatly on the front in Auron's perfect handwriting, the K's overly exaggerated. A little smile formed on her lips as she looked at it. That man. There were no words on Spira to describe him. Not in Spiran nor Al Bhed. He was just Auron, Mr. Legendary Guardian with a steel exterior. But under that he was wonderful, spectacular, mind-blowing. Why had she forgotten all those memories? Why didn't she remember what an amazing person he was until now? Had she tucked those secrets and those memories deep inside to hide her pain and sadness at his loss? But then again, did she really, truly, honestly want to forget how hard she worked for that relationship, constantly picking away at his cold steel barrier until he finally let her in? Maybe he was here now because of the fact that this place, this alternate reality, was inside her and she had been keeping her sweetest memories of him locked up inside as well. She played with the note a moment before finally opening it, thinking back on the journey they had shared.

Rikku glanced down at the paper, a full-blown smile painting her face as a particularly tender moment came back to her. That night on the thunder plains when she'd been so afraid and he had taken her into his big strong arms. Alone in the night they stood like that, watching the rain and lightning fall. No words were exchanged, there was no need for them. The simple, innocent contact was all the reassurance she needed. After that night, things changed. He changed, at least around her, and it was bliss. If it hadn't been for Tidus, she would have forgotten her original reasons for becoming Yuna's guardian. She wanted to save Yuna and Auron was leading her to her death. That difference, that was the only barrier left between them. After the battle, the defeat of Yu Yevon, that barrier melted away at last when she learned his fate. She watched him walk, slowly, through the group and send his silent goodbyes. She had no idea how she held in the tears, how she managed to stay calm as she watched him fade. That bright red coat flapping in the breeze, that serious expression, and then, just like that, he was gone. That feeling that followed, that heartbreaking sadness, the feeling of emptiness, of having half your heart ripped away, that was what trapped those sweet, tender memories inside. She never mourned his loss properly, and maybe now, she needed to.

She fell back down, the note still open her hands, though she had not yet read it. All of her thoughts and questions had kept her distracted from the letter she held in her hands. She crossed her legs, rested her chin in her hands, set the letter on the ground and started to read it.

So far so good, Rikku.

I'd like to tell you not to worry. I'd like to be there with you in a way that you could see. There is no way I can do that as of now, but know that if you need me, I will be there. I will always be there, Princess, whether you see me or not. You must learn that your senses are not always right.

The path lays before your feet and it is up to you to take it. You can continue on, into the shadows and into the darkness where things will only worsen, or you can stay where you are, a victim of nerves. I cannot choose for you. This is your decision, but know that the farther that you go, the more you succeed, there are things you will learn. You will come just that much closer to the gold at the end of the rainbow.

Do you remember what you said to me when we were stranded on Bikanel Island? When we were alone, huddled under that hollowed out machina, and you were crying your eyes out. "Do I ever . . . " she mumbled before reading the rest. I remember those words well, and I kept them with me all this time. "I can't change the world, Auron, I'm just a little girl no one will ever care about. Just a stupid Al Bhed that no one will listen to. I was born on the wrong side of the tracks. I'm not worth anyone's concern." Remember that? I was so frustrated with you then but I knew there was nothing I could say to you that would make you change your mind. You were always so stubborn. "No more than you." She said and then wondered why the hell she was talking to an inanimate object. You were never 'just' a girl to me, Rikku, and you'll sure as hell never be 'just' an Al Bhed. To me, you were a light. You were Rikku, princess of the Al Bhed. You are Rikku, and you are worth the concern of a million men.

Never give up, Princess, never give up.

Love,

Auron

"But I don't want the concern of a million men, Auron. I want yours." She whispered as she felt a flood of tears build up. She wanted to fight this sadness, to end this stupid dream and wake up in her bed, remembering Auron as some cold-hearted meanie-poo with a serious case of Irritable Male Syndrome, not like this. And yet, this is who he was, whom he had become. This was the Auron she had fallen for, this was the Auron she had lost. She wanted to scream and cry and shout. She wanted to break something and disappear off the face of Spira entirely. She wanted the spinning, headache causing thoughts in her head to go away, she wanted to go home. Most of all, though, she wanted Auron. She wanted him to wrap those comforting arms around her and whisper to her that everything would be all right, that he would be there to protect her. She wanted to hide her face in that familiar red coat and float off to cloud nine. She wanted to feel the security of his embrace one last time, to lace her fingers with his and skip down a country lane without a worry or care at all. She wanted simplicity.

Auron was not a man of simplicity. He was one of the most complex people she had ever met, but she envied him for it. He always seemed so well put together, so sure of himself. She wondered if he was ever confused, if he ever suffered like she was now. The tears were falling freely now as she buried her face in her hands. Nothing seemed to make sense any more and all this confusion and fear was making her angry. And when she was angry, she would just cry harder. She pounded her fists on the cold hard rock until it hurt so bad she couldn't bring herself to do it again, and as she was just about to give up and fall face-first onto the ground, a benevolent warmth swallowed her up, just like Auron's hugs used to. She wanted to turn her head and see him there, but she knew that he wasn't there, this was just another of his ways of telling her that he was there.

"But Rikku, you should know that I'm the one most concerned about you..."

His rough voice whispered in reply to her and she couldn't help but the grin. Just those simple little words lifted her heart and spirits with such speed that she found it unbelievable. Her face was still wet from her tears, but she knew she was ready to go on now. Auron was right. Even if she couldn't see him, he would still be there. He would be tucked inside her heart when she needed him most. She stood back up and traced a path over to the passageway in which she had to take next. She drew in a deep breath before taking the first step.

"I know, Auron. I just gotta believe in myself." And in that moment, stepping out of the light and into the darkness and as she placed foot after foot on the floor of that stone corridor, she believed in herself with all her heart. She believed that with his support, with her own confidence, and with the bond they shared, she would triumph and she would get out of here... at least as long as she didn't have any more foolish breakdowns.

She'd win for Auron. She'd fight for him, down where the secrets lie.