It had been at least 3 days since the last incident….

Two harsh raps fell on the beloved apartment door.

"Delivery for a Mr. Adrian Goeznya."

The Half-Breed slunk over to the door and peeped out the uh….peephole. He opened the door slightly and peered out to see a fat little man holding two boxes.

"Please sir….(huff)..these are quite heavy…(huff)…..open…the…door!"

"Just hand them here please."

Alucard swiped the boxes from the smelly warthog delivery man and nimble balanced each on the tips of his fingers.

"Holy shit…," The warthog remarked, "Um…just sign these papers please."

Alucard did so, threw the clipboard back, and slammed the door.

"KREE!" he excitedly giggled like a little girl, before proceeding to rip the boxes open. It wasn't long before he emerged, packing foam falling from his platinum white hair.

"Ohhhhhh, ahhhhh, so perty…Dellllllll" Alucard moaned. He then proceeded to rip that box open.

"I luv you!"

Inside, was the object of overexxagerted moaning pleasure. A Dell Inspiron XPS Laptop, the most beautiful thing known to man. Alucard pressed the POWER button and gasped as the liquid crystal screen shimmered to life.

"What be it that ye have there son o mine?" came the silky smooth voice of Dracula from across the room. He stretched and yawned, and coaxed his fingers.

"Coffee on the table, Father." Alucard absentmindedly responded, too far into an orgasm of amazement to give details.

Dracula did not press, pressing led to fights, which led to broken body parts which led to medical bills. Instead he grabbed a large mug and poured the substance. After doctoring it up with the appropriate ingredients he took a sip.

"HOT DAMN! THAT IS SOME TASTY SHIT! MORTALS DO GOT THE GOODS!" Dracula yelled.

His son waved him off.

"Gimme more!"

The Dark Lord gradually drained the pot. At last it was empty and Dracula looked up from his mug. Now on sugar high he went back to the pot to find it….empty.

"(Sniff)…..(sniff, sniff)……". A tear fell from his eye and the usually composed Count fell into a spout of crying.

"WHY! OH WHY! WHY MUST GOD TORTURE ME LIKE SO!"

Scared, Alucard broke off the climax of his amazement orgasm and glared at his pathetic, wallowing, patriarch.

"WHY! FIRST IT WAS LISA! AND NOW THE COFFEE! WHY…………?"

Dracula moaned on the floor and sobbed away.

"And you say I'm weak!" Adrian laughed. "Look Father, I can brew more if you want. You don't have to throw a fit and condemn God for you being an idiot."

Vlad rigidly shot straight up.

"Really? My wonderful, beautiful son who I love more than life itself, can brew more….coffee?"

"Yeah, Dad, I can really….."

Alucard rolled his eyes, and then brewed more coffee.

Adrian once again sat down to configure the second love of his life. All was going smooth until he felt a heavy head prop itself on his shoulder.

"Watcha got there?" asked his Father's silken voice.

"A Computer." Adrian responded.

"But it says Dell on it."

"That's just the manufacturer."

"Okay, so what does this 'Dell' do?" Vlad asked.

"Father, picture this, once this computer is fully loaded to it's full potential you could literally have worlds of information at your fingertips, anything, anyone, instant access. Just one thing, you have to pay for this wonderful asset."

"How much Adrian…"

Adrian could of swore he heard some semblance of a growl in those words.

"Umm….something over…hmm….over two-hundred dollars a month."

Vlad sighed and flopped down on the other sofa.

"If it gains me Castle back I will pay."

"And for this unveiling of power I get a what in return?" Vlads son asked quizzically. "You get it hug, kiss, pat on the back, and a go brew me more coffee," Dracula said, "Oh and as for a forewarning. We might be the receivers of a rather….how would you say…um…large…package. I have a meeting tonight with some more of my contacts to arrange this….large…package."

"Understood, I will continue working on my computer."

Vlad left the room to return to his previous slumber.

Early next morning…….

BaBAM, Chchit, BaBAM, Chchit….. BAMABABABABABBABABAB! Arghhhh…..

"SONABITCH!" Alucard yelled while at the same time threw a pillow across the apartment. It was the tenth time he had died on the same damn level.

"Alright, fuckdis."

The Half-Breed closed down his demo of FarCry and started to walk across the room when he was alerted to the presence of a large number of visitors at the door. He peeped out the um…peephole and sized up five of Shaft's henchwenches, back again. Instead this time that had a absolutely huge box, that was apparently shaking and…..snorting. Alucard opened the door and bid them in. Before one word could be uttered the lot dropped the box in a clear spot and ran. Only one of the Followers ran and one stayed to tell him to be extremely cautious.

"RAR, SNORT, GROWL!"

There was something….living inside the box.

"Father!" Adrian started to yell while slinking back towards the bedrooms.

BUMPH!

The box's wood door blew open and out thundered one of the strangest and fiercest creatures he had ever seen.

"RAR!" it growled.

Alucard backed toward the door and observed this strange harbinger of wonder. It's front was like one of a massive dog with two extremely large and fat paws but it's end was truly strange. It was all mechanical with the machinery starting at the torso where the organics ended and formed the back two paws. The face was mostly covered by a large droopiage of skin which hid two glowing red eyes and a massive maw of teeth.

"Hi…..there….thing..ie.." Alucard stammered.

RAR! It growled again.

"DAD! GETIN HERE!"

The creature charged for the half-breed, and to Alucards surprise, ran right past him and pounced his groggy Father, who had just entered the room.

"WOAH! DOWN BOY! DOWN PINKY! DOWN!"

The creature, who his Father called a 'Pinky' licked Vlads face and panted heavily while showing off some impressive toothage.

"Alucard meet….(lick!) a Pinky Demon who.. (slurp) will be staying with us for our duration of the stay."

The Pinky Demon swiveled it's skindred covered head and gave Alucard this big stupid grin.

"Oh God….."

Pinky turned his massive body around and pounced Alucard down."

"(slurp)..Ewww slobber!..(lick)….Oh get it offam…..(gulp)..ME!"

Now that the creature was satisfied that it greeted everybody, Pinky flopped his mass down on Alucards poor soon-to-be broken body, and fell asleep.

"ZZZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZzzzz……ZZ….zzz."

Vlad stood in astonishment as his son cried out in agony, and observed a few cruches, a couple of snaps, and a sharp inhale of breath.

"Sooooooooooooo…….heavy……..must get fatness….off…me……help…please…hard…..to breath..

Author's Notes: Okay, so my pointy pen got vindictive on our poor half-breed this chapter. Cry about it. As for Pinky Demon, image reference can be found at the clicking on Image Search. Type "Pinky Demon". Pinky was ripped directly from the Doom series, which I don't own by the by, so I thought his character would be fitting seeing as Castlevania and Doom are similar…in some ways I guess. And if you don't like Pinky well too bad cause he's here to stay. As for the reason for updating this, you can thank one of my reviewers. And the Dell Notebook, it actually will play a major role in the future. R&R review! (Or Ill cry! , or you get stabbed with the pointy pen!  Dont ask about the weird last name thing on Pg. 1.