Burning by Heavenly Awkward
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, and, plainly put, I am sick of having to say so. Can't I keep deceiving people? Please?
I'm BA-A-ACK!!!
Chapter 7: In which Raven has a bad dream and meets a new friend at the cafe, and Robin is not alone in worrying.
.
It was just a dream. Yes, just a dream... Just a dream...
But she still felt it. A persistent ache in her chest and the pit of her stomach. It was there. Something was wrong. Still half-asleep, Raven pushed out of bed and went to her bathroom. She took off her clothes and stood naked before the mirror, running her hands over her body. Running her cold fingers over her stomach and chest, they sensed only the gentle inward curves of smooth skin, which prickled as the cold fingers ran over soft hairs. She put back on her clothes, then stumbled out to the hall and fell back, slumping against one wall and sliding down to the floor, staring out at the spot where the wall met the ceiling, numb with sleep and fear.
At breakfast time, Raven hung in the kitchen where Cyborg was cooking his meal.
"Cyborg?"
"Yeah, Rae?"
Raven frowned pensively at the floor, arms folded over her chest. "Do I... look okay?"
Cyborg started a bit, surprised at the nature of the question, which was so very unlike her. "Yeah, of course. Why?"
He hadn't noticed. Still, that didn't neccesarily mean that all was well... Did it? "I just... Don't feel so good today."
"Do you think you need to see a doctor?" Cyborg suggested tenatively, turning completely away from his bacon to look at his friend with concern. Raven, still frowning, shrugged, then slowly shook her head.
"No... No, I guess not."
Relieved, Cyborg turned back to his breakfast with the few last words intended to comfort her, "Don't worry, you look fine."
Raven shrugged, and turned her thoughts from the awful, nagging emptiness, thinking instead of the food plan for the day.
.
Two Weeks Later Abigail stared through her mirrored sunglasses at the petite girl entering the cafe, though her face was turned to her coffee. The girl was short--five feet, maybe a little over. She was very thin though. She wore loose, baggy clothes--big jeans and a grey hoodie--and so passed off for merely petite. Abigail knew better. She knew what layered clothes looked like. This girl couldn't weigh more than... what, 68 pounds? 70? That's a body mass index of... She did the math on her napkin. 13.7, at best. God. Abigail had already known from the moment she saw the girl that she was "a skinny". After all, she should know. However, the BMI always drove it home to her, somehow. But 13.7! Even if she rounded it up to 14, that was... emaciated!
Abigail couldn't quite bite back a shudder. Familiar loathing thoughts were welling up... This was just a little too triggering for her. Jessica would have killed her, if she'd seen her head in this state. She needed a distraction. Numbers, details, those were safe. Let's see. Assuming that the girl lost one pound a day, one week ago she would have been 77 pounds, with a BMI of... 15. But at her point, she had probably lost closer to two pounds, not counting changes in metabolism and less exercise on account of weakness, meaning she'd been about 84 pounds. BMI, 16.5. (This girl was in serious trouble!) So maybe, if Abigail looked for a best-case scenario, the girl had lost two pounds a day last week and one a day the week before. That would be twenty one pounds heavier, meaning that she was about 91 pounds two weeks ago. Slightly underweight. But then, accounting for a lower metabolism and less activity, she could only have been able to burn about one pound a day at most, more likely half a pound. So that would mean--
"Why are you staring at me?" The girl glared down at Abigail, her hands tucked in the front pocket of her hoodie.
Abigail looked up, surprised. "What? I wasn't. Sit down."
She sat stiffly, taking one thin, pale hand from her pocket in order to tuck a strand of violet-black hair behind an ear. "Yes you were. Don't think I'm fooled by the glasses. One of my best friends always wears a covering over his eyes. I know when people are looking at me, even if their eyes are covered."
Abigail was silent. Then she laughed. "Very good! Smart one, you are. Here, let me get you something."
"No!" The girl said, only a little too quickly. But Abigail was used to noticing the small things.
"Don't worry. I'll get you coffee--did you know it suppresses your appetite? And no calories, either."
"You don't say? Alright, then."
"Wonderful!" Abigail stopped a plump waitress and ordered a cup of coffee for the girl. Neither of them said anything, though the girl wrinkled her nose at the waitress's pudgy rear end as she walked away. Then, when they both sat sipping their coffee, Abigail started to speeak.
"So. Introductions. My name is Abigail. You can call me Gail, if you wish, but I'd rather not be called Abby. What's your name?"
The girl paused. "Jessica."
Abigail smiled sweetly. "Your REAL name please."
The girl growled.
Abigail gave a barking laugh. "Oh, come, see here. I have a sort of intuition like that--I can always tell when someone's lying. Besides, I was thinking of an old friend as you answered, and her name just happens to be Jessica. That's a little too much to be a coincidence. Let us see, naturally pale complexion, dark violet hair and eyes, chakra, a hood, and a talent for reading minds--you're Raven, of the Teen Titans."
Raven sighed. "Touche. You're right."
"And a good sport too."
"How did you guess?"
"Tut tut, I never guess. It's a very bad habit. I have a good reason for everything I say."
"Then... What...?"
"It's my business to know things other people don't."
"What's your business, then?"
Gail gave a quick, two-second smile--odd guestures like that seemed to be normal for her. She pulled something small and black from her pocket, opened it and slapped it on the table. It was a shiny badge. "Detective Abigail Catherine Merle, Jump City Police Department. At your service, and your friends', Ma'am."
"Ah."
Gail gave another short laugh and chugged the rest of her coffee. "Why don't you come for a walk with me?"
Raven shrugged. She could use the exercise. She nodded, and left her mug on the table as they left the cafe side by side, chatting easily. The two of them walked through the park together, stopping by the new pond. Gail took a package of crackers from her purse to throw to the ducks. She offered one to Raven, who refused, glaring. Gail answered in a calm blank stare. There was something about it that made her break down and take one. She munched it quietly, then another, then another, asking questions in between. Gail seemed kind of young to have been promoted to detective, wasn't she? Yes, she was only thirty-one. But she had always had a penchant for danger and crime, but on the right side of the law. She always had the right answer, the right evidence, and the JCPD noticed. They took her on immediately, at twenty-four. It was a good job, with good pay and lots of connections to the most interesting cases. But Gail had been thinking lately that she'd like to go freelance. Some of those she arrested and prosecuted didn't deserve their punishment, but as a representative of the law, she didn't have any choice in it. No freedom, for her or them. Raven had the feeling that Gail was a formidable woman, with hidden depths to her. Not a person to be underestimated.
.
Dear Journal,
Raven's really starting to worry me now. She doesn't eat anything, she never comes out of her room, and she barely speaks to any of us. She doesn't seem to care about anything anymore. But it gets worse.
She's getting thinner and thinner--I can actually see the outlines of her ribs and collarbones through her uniform! If she keeps losing weight, she'll look like someone from a concentration camp! She's starting to look like a skeleton as it is! I saw her yesterday in the training room. You wonder how she can even stand, but she was dancing like... I don't know! But she was whirling and spinning and jumping and... I think she's in trouble.
.
A green mouse scurried up the leg of the chair immediately next to Robin and stood up on its forelegs on the seat.
"Robin?" Beast Boy asked with a sad face and huge green eyes. "I think something's wrong with Raven. I heard her throwing up in her bathroom."
"Yes. She has been refusing to speak to me, and she never joins us for meals," Starfire looked worried.
"And she's so skinny!" Cyborg frowned. "She definitely hasn't been eating all that food she brings to her room."
The three of them froze, holding their breaths, waiting for Robin to speak. The Boy Wonder sighed.
"Yes, Beast Boy. Starfire, Cyborg. There's something very wrong with Raven."
.
The others are starting to notice. I think the breakdown I thought Raven had escaped happened anyways. And I didn't have the nerve to see it. But not anymore. I'm taking her to a doctor first thing tomorrow. She's not going to die because of me.
Robin
.
It started to get dark, and Raven teleported Gail to her apartment. After they said their goodbyes, Raven headed at a full run to the T-Tower. When she got to her room, she headed immediately to the bathroom.
.
A/N: BMI is body mass index. You get it by multiplying your weight by 704.7, then dividing it by your height squared--so, say someone's 5'0" tall and weighs 92 pounds. Five feet squared is 3600 (you can get these off online calculators and charts, btw, like at ), 92 times 704.7 equals 64832.4, then divide that by 3600 and you get 18.009.
25 - 29 BMI = Overweight 19 - 24 BMI = Normal Under 19 BMI = Underweight Under 17.5 BMI = Anorexic Under 15 BMI = Emaciated So our little five-footer is slightly underweight. See? The taller you are, and the less you weigh, the lower your BMI is. In reverse, the shorter you are, and the more you weigh, the higher your BMI is. So, at 14 BMI, like Raven dearest, is--as Abigail decided--emaciated. I do my homework, can ya tell?
Now, to answer my reviewers! (I love you guys to death!) Let's see, I think I start with...
Albino Drachidna: Well, you've got the next chappie! I hope you love it lik I luv youz! :D
Darke Bleuu: Thank you! Yeah, Raven was drunk in chapter four. Not likely that she'd have started dancing otherwise, hm? Heh, yeah, I mainly like BB/Rae (the comic books sorta support it too), but I also support Cy/Rae, Ro/Rae, and I actually read a very good St/Rae once. I can't find it now, though. : Terra is going to have a very big part in this, though, and I'm hardly going to just ignore the fact that BB used to like her!
dana1313: Yes, very sad. Luckily, as you said, it's suposed to be like that.
Human Lightshow: Welcome. :D She's very critical of herself. Perfectionistic tendencies are almost universal among the ED crowd. If anyone says that they're too hard on themselves, that they're really great people, they just think/say (and this is a pretty good quote here): "No, if you really knew me, you'd hate me as much as I do." Anorexic mindset in a nutshell.
wordbearer: Heartwrenching, isn't it? It's my philosophy that the more real something seems, the scarier it is. That's why cheap horror flicks don't scare you, see? But don't worry, help will be coming. After losing AT LEAST fourteen pounds in two weeks, people are going to start noticing.
Zako Lord of Randomnessness: Well, thank you for taking the time to review now! whacks Lord Zako on the head with a small fork for being lazy Now, you keep reading and don't spill yet! When I tell who it is, you can gloat over being right or whack yourself repeatedly with my small fork for being wrong! :D
Change-Of-Heart2: Thank you for all those reviews! They make me happy.
1: I'm glad you liked it! I'll make sure to give you more to read!
2: Teehee, I liked the end too. :P 3: Never did, huh? I take it to clean out my throat, since I'm a singer. Tastes vile, but it grows on you. Also, apple cider vinegar boosts your metabolism.
4: Yeah, she doesn't seem so innocent as in the show, does she? Still, it's not completely out of character.
5: Much, much, much darker. Yes, I'll be working on that songfic right after I shower. :D I thought you'd like that.
6: She does need help. Bad. Like Gail observed. I'm so glad you like the story! And no problem--I loved your poems! Now, just to review the new chapters...
Writer's Slush: Hi again! Gosh, I love you! What a wonderful reviewer! It's supposed to be hard to tell between herself and the voice. And yes, you're right, once she got inside, the voice took over.
On the "what" that is Raven's tormentor... Well, you're on the right track.
Yes, she has healing abilities, but that doesn't keep the cuts from hurting before they heal, does it?
Ah yes, I've seen "Sisters". But she didn't dance then. She just went behind a crate to talk to some goth boy.
But, of course I'll be examining every Titan's relationship with Raven, and it will make perfect sense why I chose the pairings I did. I also actually try to avoid relationships for their own sake. I will NEVER write a pure romance (except for little slices from a pre-determined relationship, like the songfic I'm gonna do). All romance will have something very important to the story.
I'll try to be nice to me, but I can't help it--I'm very perfectionistic myself! I get it from my dad, so we can blame him. :D
Broken Lover: I'm glad you do!
I shall be faster in getting the next chapter, and I'm sorry for the hiatus!
HA
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, and, plainly put, I am sick of having to say so. Can't I keep deceiving people? Please?
I'm BA-A-ACK!!!
Chapter 7: In which Raven has a bad dream and meets a new friend at the cafe, and Robin is not alone in worrying.
.
It was just a dream. Yes, just a dream... Just a dream...
But she still felt it. A persistent ache in her chest and the pit of her stomach. It was there. Something was wrong. Still half-asleep, Raven pushed out of bed and went to her bathroom. She took off her clothes and stood naked before the mirror, running her hands over her body. Running her cold fingers over her stomach and chest, they sensed only the gentle inward curves of smooth skin, which prickled as the cold fingers ran over soft hairs. She put back on her clothes, then stumbled out to the hall and fell back, slumping against one wall and sliding down to the floor, staring out at the spot where the wall met the ceiling, numb with sleep and fear.
At breakfast time, Raven hung in the kitchen where Cyborg was cooking his meal.
"Cyborg?"
"Yeah, Rae?"
Raven frowned pensively at the floor, arms folded over her chest. "Do I... look okay?"
Cyborg started a bit, surprised at the nature of the question, which was so very unlike her. "Yeah, of course. Why?"
He hadn't noticed. Still, that didn't neccesarily mean that all was well... Did it? "I just... Don't feel so good today."
"Do you think you need to see a doctor?" Cyborg suggested tenatively, turning completely away from his bacon to look at his friend with concern. Raven, still frowning, shrugged, then slowly shook her head.
"No... No, I guess not."
Relieved, Cyborg turned back to his breakfast with the few last words intended to comfort her, "Don't worry, you look fine."
Raven shrugged, and turned her thoughts from the awful, nagging emptiness, thinking instead of the food plan for the day.
.
Two Weeks Later Abigail stared through her mirrored sunglasses at the petite girl entering the cafe, though her face was turned to her coffee. The girl was short--five feet, maybe a little over. She was very thin though. She wore loose, baggy clothes--big jeans and a grey hoodie--and so passed off for merely petite. Abigail knew better. She knew what layered clothes looked like. This girl couldn't weigh more than... what, 68 pounds? 70? That's a body mass index of... She did the math on her napkin. 13.7, at best. God. Abigail had already known from the moment she saw the girl that she was "a skinny". After all, she should know. However, the BMI always drove it home to her, somehow. But 13.7! Even if she rounded it up to 14, that was... emaciated!
Abigail couldn't quite bite back a shudder. Familiar loathing thoughts were welling up... This was just a little too triggering for her. Jessica would have killed her, if she'd seen her head in this state. She needed a distraction. Numbers, details, those were safe. Let's see. Assuming that the girl lost one pound a day, one week ago she would have been 77 pounds, with a BMI of... 15. But at her point, she had probably lost closer to two pounds, not counting changes in metabolism and less exercise on account of weakness, meaning she'd been about 84 pounds. BMI, 16.5. (This girl was in serious trouble!) So maybe, if Abigail looked for a best-case scenario, the girl had lost two pounds a day last week and one a day the week before. That would be twenty one pounds heavier, meaning that she was about 91 pounds two weeks ago. Slightly underweight. But then, accounting for a lower metabolism and less activity, she could only have been able to burn about one pound a day at most, more likely half a pound. So that would mean--
"Why are you staring at me?" The girl glared down at Abigail, her hands tucked in the front pocket of her hoodie.
Abigail looked up, surprised. "What? I wasn't. Sit down."
She sat stiffly, taking one thin, pale hand from her pocket in order to tuck a strand of violet-black hair behind an ear. "Yes you were. Don't think I'm fooled by the glasses. One of my best friends always wears a covering over his eyes. I know when people are looking at me, even if their eyes are covered."
Abigail was silent. Then she laughed. "Very good! Smart one, you are. Here, let me get you something."
"No!" The girl said, only a little too quickly. But Abigail was used to noticing the small things.
"Don't worry. I'll get you coffee--did you know it suppresses your appetite? And no calories, either."
"You don't say? Alright, then."
"Wonderful!" Abigail stopped a plump waitress and ordered a cup of coffee for the girl. Neither of them said anything, though the girl wrinkled her nose at the waitress's pudgy rear end as she walked away. Then, when they both sat sipping their coffee, Abigail started to speeak.
"So. Introductions. My name is Abigail. You can call me Gail, if you wish, but I'd rather not be called Abby. What's your name?"
The girl paused. "Jessica."
Abigail smiled sweetly. "Your REAL name please."
The girl growled.
Abigail gave a barking laugh. "Oh, come, see here. I have a sort of intuition like that--I can always tell when someone's lying. Besides, I was thinking of an old friend as you answered, and her name just happens to be Jessica. That's a little too much to be a coincidence. Let us see, naturally pale complexion, dark violet hair and eyes, chakra, a hood, and a talent for reading minds--you're Raven, of the Teen Titans."
Raven sighed. "Touche. You're right."
"And a good sport too."
"How did you guess?"
"Tut tut, I never guess. It's a very bad habit. I have a good reason for everything I say."
"Then... What...?"
"It's my business to know things other people don't."
"What's your business, then?"
Gail gave a quick, two-second smile--odd guestures like that seemed to be normal for her. She pulled something small and black from her pocket, opened it and slapped it on the table. It was a shiny badge. "Detective Abigail Catherine Merle, Jump City Police Department. At your service, and your friends', Ma'am."
"Ah."
Gail gave another short laugh and chugged the rest of her coffee. "Why don't you come for a walk with me?"
Raven shrugged. She could use the exercise. She nodded, and left her mug on the table as they left the cafe side by side, chatting easily. The two of them walked through the park together, stopping by the new pond. Gail took a package of crackers from her purse to throw to the ducks. She offered one to Raven, who refused, glaring. Gail answered in a calm blank stare. There was something about it that made her break down and take one. She munched it quietly, then another, then another, asking questions in between. Gail seemed kind of young to have been promoted to detective, wasn't she? Yes, she was only thirty-one. But she had always had a penchant for danger and crime, but on the right side of the law. She always had the right answer, the right evidence, and the JCPD noticed. They took her on immediately, at twenty-four. It was a good job, with good pay and lots of connections to the most interesting cases. But Gail had been thinking lately that she'd like to go freelance. Some of those she arrested and prosecuted didn't deserve their punishment, but as a representative of the law, she didn't have any choice in it. No freedom, for her or them. Raven had the feeling that Gail was a formidable woman, with hidden depths to her. Not a person to be underestimated.
.
Dear Journal,
Raven's really starting to worry me now. She doesn't eat anything, she never comes out of her room, and she barely speaks to any of us. She doesn't seem to care about anything anymore. But it gets worse.
She's getting thinner and thinner--I can actually see the outlines of her ribs and collarbones through her uniform! If she keeps losing weight, she'll look like someone from a concentration camp! She's starting to look like a skeleton as it is! I saw her yesterday in the training room. You wonder how she can even stand, but she was dancing like... I don't know! But she was whirling and spinning and jumping and... I think she's in trouble.
.
A green mouse scurried up the leg of the chair immediately next to Robin and stood up on its forelegs on the seat.
"Robin?" Beast Boy asked with a sad face and huge green eyes. "I think something's wrong with Raven. I heard her throwing up in her bathroom."
"Yes. She has been refusing to speak to me, and she never joins us for meals," Starfire looked worried.
"And she's so skinny!" Cyborg frowned. "She definitely hasn't been eating all that food she brings to her room."
The three of them froze, holding their breaths, waiting for Robin to speak. The Boy Wonder sighed.
"Yes, Beast Boy. Starfire, Cyborg. There's something very wrong with Raven."
.
The others are starting to notice. I think the breakdown I thought Raven had escaped happened anyways. And I didn't have the nerve to see it. But not anymore. I'm taking her to a doctor first thing tomorrow. She's not going to die because of me.
Robin
.
It started to get dark, and Raven teleported Gail to her apartment. After they said their goodbyes, Raven headed at a full run to the T-Tower. When she got to her room, she headed immediately to the bathroom.
.
A/N: BMI is body mass index. You get it by multiplying your weight by 704.7, then dividing it by your height squared--so, say someone's 5'0" tall and weighs 92 pounds. Five feet squared is 3600 (you can get these off online calculators and charts, btw, like at ), 92 times 704.7 equals 64832.4, then divide that by 3600 and you get 18.009.
25 - 29 BMI = Overweight 19 - 24 BMI = Normal Under 19 BMI = Underweight Under 17.5 BMI = Anorexic Under 15 BMI = Emaciated So our little five-footer is slightly underweight. See? The taller you are, and the less you weigh, the lower your BMI is. In reverse, the shorter you are, and the more you weigh, the higher your BMI is. So, at 14 BMI, like Raven dearest, is--as Abigail decided--emaciated. I do my homework, can ya tell?
Now, to answer my reviewers! (I love you guys to death!) Let's see, I think I start with...
Albino Drachidna: Well, you've got the next chappie! I hope you love it lik I luv youz! :D
Darke Bleuu: Thank you! Yeah, Raven was drunk in chapter four. Not likely that she'd have started dancing otherwise, hm? Heh, yeah, I mainly like BB/Rae (the comic books sorta support it too), but I also support Cy/Rae, Ro/Rae, and I actually read a very good St/Rae once. I can't find it now, though. : Terra is going to have a very big part in this, though, and I'm hardly going to just ignore the fact that BB used to like her!
dana1313: Yes, very sad. Luckily, as you said, it's suposed to be like that.
Human Lightshow: Welcome. :D She's very critical of herself. Perfectionistic tendencies are almost universal among the ED crowd. If anyone says that they're too hard on themselves, that they're really great people, they just think/say (and this is a pretty good quote here): "No, if you really knew me, you'd hate me as much as I do." Anorexic mindset in a nutshell.
wordbearer: Heartwrenching, isn't it? It's my philosophy that the more real something seems, the scarier it is. That's why cheap horror flicks don't scare you, see? But don't worry, help will be coming. After losing AT LEAST fourteen pounds in two weeks, people are going to start noticing.
Zako Lord of Randomnessness: Well, thank you for taking the time to review now! whacks Lord Zako on the head with a small fork for being lazy Now, you keep reading and don't spill yet! When I tell who it is, you can gloat over being right or whack yourself repeatedly with my small fork for being wrong! :D
Change-Of-Heart2: Thank you for all those reviews! They make me happy.
1: I'm glad you liked it! I'll make sure to give you more to read!
2: Teehee, I liked the end too. :P 3: Never did, huh? I take it to clean out my throat, since I'm a singer. Tastes vile, but it grows on you. Also, apple cider vinegar boosts your metabolism.
4: Yeah, she doesn't seem so innocent as in the show, does she? Still, it's not completely out of character.
5: Much, much, much darker. Yes, I'll be working on that songfic right after I shower. :D I thought you'd like that.
6: She does need help. Bad. Like Gail observed. I'm so glad you like the story! And no problem--I loved your poems! Now, just to review the new chapters...
Writer's Slush: Hi again! Gosh, I love you! What a wonderful reviewer! It's supposed to be hard to tell between herself and the voice. And yes, you're right, once she got inside, the voice took over.
On the "what" that is Raven's tormentor... Well, you're on the right track.
Yes, she has healing abilities, but that doesn't keep the cuts from hurting before they heal, does it?
Ah yes, I've seen "Sisters". But she didn't dance then. She just went behind a crate to talk to some goth boy.
But, of course I'll be examining every Titan's relationship with Raven, and it will make perfect sense why I chose the pairings I did. I also actually try to avoid relationships for their own sake. I will NEVER write a pure romance (except for little slices from a pre-determined relationship, like the songfic I'm gonna do). All romance will have something very important to the story.
I'll try to be nice to me, but I can't help it--I'm very perfectionistic myself! I get it from my dad, so we can blame him. :D
Broken Lover: I'm glad you do!
I shall be faster in getting the next chapter, and I'm sorry for the hiatus!
HA