by Heavenly Awkward
Disclaimer: I don't own these people. Really. Well, not legally anyways... :P
Chapter 8: In which the Titans go to the doctor."Raven, it's just a check-up!" Robin said in exasperation. "We're all going! Quit being so stubborn!"
"We didn't go for check-ups last year, or the year before that."
"Well, we should have."
"What about Cyborg and Starfire? A doctor could hardly help them at all."
"Cyborg's going to a lab to get re-tuned. Starfire... Well, I'm doing my best there, but I haven't found anyone who knows about Tamaranian anatomy yet."
Raven stood up and, glaring steadily at Robin, walked in the general direction of the garage. Robin was sure she didn't believe his lie, but at least she was coming without blowing anything up. As far as that went, things were going well. In the car, she was silent and sullen--that is, more sullen than usual. She was the same at the doctor's office, as Dr. Ibbotson left with Robin.
He was a solidly-built man, fairly tall, with kind brown eyes and hair, large, gentle hands, and a warm baritone voice. He was actually trained as a pediatrician, a children's doctor, and you could tell. He made you feel safe, a gift all doctors should have. Once inside the typically clean office, the doctor began the physical. And while he was checking to make sure that Robin was in generally good health, he chatted with him in that warm voice. "Well, you do seem to be taking care of yourself, Robin. You've been a little worried lately, though, isn't that what you said on the phone?"
"Yes--not about me though, about--"
"Raven, I remember. So, what were you worried about?"
"I told you."
"Why don't you tell me again? Just to keep your mind off what I'm doing."
"What are you doing?"
"Giving you a flu shot, against that nasty bug going around. You requested it, on the phone."
"Oh, right. I forgot. I was too busy stressing over Raven."
"Tut. Not good for your blood pressure, that. You're going to die from heart failure someday, mark my words--if the criminals don't get to you first, that is. You're doing a wonderful job with them, by the way. My wife's on the volunteer police force, and she's getting bored."
Robin chuckled along with Dr. Ibbotson. The doctor really did seem to have a sort of gift with people--Robin felt much more relaxed now than when he first came in.
"So, tell me again why you were so worried for Raven."
"Well, she hasn't been eating, and she's lost a lot of weight--a lot."
"About how much, would you say?"
"Mmm, thirty, maybe forty pounds?"
"Wow, that is a lot. How long do you think it's been going on?"
"About... Well, since Terra died."
"Ah. Six months or so, am I right?"
"I think so."
"Don't like to think of it, huh?"
"None of us do."
"I don't blame you."
Robin sighed and leaned back. "That night... Cyborg was edgy, yelling at everyone over little things. Starfire just wouldn't stop crying. Beast Boy was in shock. He wouldn't answer any questions, just stared at the ground. That got Cyborg yelling again. And then Star started crying harder."
"And you had to try and calm them all down?"
Robin nodded. "Raven was the only one acting normally--I suspect even I didn't make sense a few times, since I didn't seem to be thinking right--and she even helped me. I was grateful for it at first, but the next morning I remembered that people were supposed to mourn when someone dies. Then I was worried for her."
"Turn around."
"What?"
"Turn around."
Robin obeyed, turning on the examining table to face the wall, legs crossed, his fists to his eyes. The doctor's fingers dug into the knotted muscles in Robin's shoulders. Robin sighed and leaned forward. Neither of them spoke for a while, but Robin felt the rest of his tension melt away under the doctor's gentle hands, so that when he was done, Robin slipped off the table and put back on his shirt while feeling better than he had in years.
"Thanks."
Dr. Ibbotson laughed. "Well, it's not really standard medicine, but you looked like you needed it."
"So, what's the report?"
"You're in exceptionally good health for a boy your age, especially these days. But I'd recommend that you give yourself a bit of a break, both as a leader, and in your training. We don't want you straining any muscles. Just be nice to yourself--and that's a doctor's order! Beast Boy can come in next."
"Alright, but I warn you, he's terrified of doctors. Needles, especially."
The doctor wrinkled his nose. "Gee, thanks." Robin laughed.
"WHAT? I have to get a SHOT???" Beast Boy shrieked.
"Yes, Beast Boy," Robin said. "Just so you don't get the flu. We can't have you sick."
"So quit moaning about it," Cyborg said from the door, arms crossed. "You're gonna get it no matter what. You can at least be quiet, and choose to not get pounded once we're back at the T-tower."
"Ah, no beating up my patients, please."
"Nah, I was talking about video games."
"Do not fear, Beast Boy." Starfire patted his bare arm reassuringly. "We are here."
Beast Boy smiled suddenly. "Hey, that rhymed!"
"What is a 'rhyme'?"
"It's where the ending of a word has the same sound as another--like 'fear' and 'here'," Robin explained, forever patient.
"Oh. What is a nursery rhyme, then?"
"It's a poem for little kids that rhymes," Raven said curtly. "It usually rhymes at the end of every phrase or line, or every other phrase or line, if you wondered."
"Ohhh, I understand now. Thank you, friend Raven!"
Meanwhile, Dr. Ibbotson had been carefully filling a hypodermic syringe. He now turned to Beast Boy, who squeaked and shyed away. "Don't worry, Beast Boy."
"Oh, and now you're gonna say that it won't hurt a bit, right?" The green boy scowled.
"No. It's going to hurt--" Beast Boy squeaked again and inched away from the doctor. "--but only for a second. It's going to be quick."
"Oh, like that's going to help!"
The doctor chuckled. "It was supposed to. Hold still."
Beast Boy whimpered as the doctor came closer, and squeezed his eyes shut, but he didn't move. When he felt the cold alchohol swab on his arm, he reached out blindly and grabbed the first hand he touched--which just happened to be a thin grey one, whose owner was too suprised to pull away. After a moment, the hand squeezed his reassuringly. As Beast Boy felt the sting of the needle, he gripped the hand tighter and tighter.
"I'm done, Beast Boy. You can open your eyes."
Beast Boy did, blinking. "That's it?"
"Yup."
"Ha! Look who's so tough, huh? Oh yeah!"
"Um, Beast Boy?" Raven intoned slowly. "Let go of my hand."
"Huh?" Beast Boy looked at her in suprise, then at his hand gripping hers. He let go.
"Ow."
"Uh, sorry Raven."
Raven shook her head, shaking the blood back into her squashed fingers.
"Hey, Dr. Ibbotson?"
"Yes, Beast Boy?"
"Are you related to the guy that wrote 'Dial-a-Ghost'?"
"Yes, Eva Ibbotson is my cousin."
"Oh. I like your cousin's books." Beast Boy hopped off the table and struggled with his shirt for a while.
"I'll tell her that."
"Wow, Beast Boy, I didn't know you had a long enough attention span to read that long a book," Raven said sarcastically.
"Raven, you can stay here, since you're next."
"Well, see you, Raven!" Robin said cheerfully as the other four Titans turned to leave.
"Yeah," Beast Boy said, sending the doctor a glance. "Nice knowing you."
When the door was closed, Dr. Ibbotson turned to Raven. "Well, Raven, do you mind waiting here for a moment?"
"No. Why?"
"I'm going to go fetch Dr. Peters. I think you would be more comfortable with a female doctor."
While the Dr. Ibbotson went to find said doctor, Raven looked around the room in a sudden fit of either curiosity or boredom. It was, of course, perfectly clean. The walls were bare but for a few posters on abuse, abstinence, and health issues. The counter was also bare, but for a few clear containers of tongue depressors, cotton balls, sterile disposable gloves, and such, as well as the doctor's pen and clipboard, which looked oddly out of place, lying there at an angle. Raven straightened it. Then she looked at the sheet of paper on top. It was just a form, with notes on Beast Boy's health, which was good, but could benefit from a little less junk food. She looked at the one under it, which was about Robin. What was under that one? It was a plain white sheet, instead of a form. The doctor had written on it in scrawling writing:
Raven's condition severe--signs of illness for over six months. Weight loss extreme, around thirty-five pounds. Medication may be neccesary.
Raven dropped the paper, and shakily tried to lift herself onto the table. She couldn't make it. She rubbed her arms and took deep breaths, then tried again, and made it this time.
They knew. He knew. It must have been Robin who told him; She was sure Beast Boy couldn't have noticed. He wasn't that observant. At least, she didn't think he was. He wasn't, was he? How much did they know? Did they know about all her little deals with herself, the little rituals, the things she had to do in order to get through the day? No, they couldn't. She was too good at hiding them.
"Hello, Raven," A pleasant female voice said. It was a pretty, slender woman. She was kind of short, but it only made her look less intimidating. She looked very professional, though, with her neat white clothes and dark hair pulled up in a knot. She held out a hand to Raven, who shook it. "I'm Dr. Peters. You can go and change in that room over there--there's a robe in there for you as well, unless Terrence has been moving things around."
Raven stripped in the dressing room, folding her clothes and putting them in a neat pile, then wrapped the clean white robe around her and tied the sash loosely around her waist before coming out. Dr. Peters motioned for her to sit on the examining table. She tried, really, but she had the same problem as before. She didn't see Dr. Peters glance at the clipboard, and then look at her with horror and pity as her skeleton-thin arms collapsed under her weight again. Raven did, however, see when she nudged a footstool towards her with one foot. Raven bent down to adjust it, then stepped from it to the table.
"So, Raven." Dr. Peters leaned forward eagerly, perched on her stool, hands clasped and forearms resting on her knees. She had a way of moving, quick, efficient, birdlike--if a little odd--that reminded Raven forcibly of Gail. "How are you?"
"Fine."
"You haven't possibly had any little aches or pains lately, no little bouts of the sniffles?"
"Not really."
"You haven't gotten very cold lately, no problems sleeping or anything?"
"Actually... Both of those. But I sleep fine now."
"Ah, I see. But you get cold?"
"Yes."
"Well, that may just be because Robin's turning the air conditioning up too high. Here, let's weigh you."
Raven stepped on the scale; The numbers stopped at seventy-two pounds. Seventy-two??? Two pounds more than yesterday! If she kept gaining at that rate--
"When was the last time you had your period?"
Preoccupied with the numbers, Raven answered absently, "Three months ago."
"Three months?"
"Yes." Raven suddenly realized what she had said. "I think."
Dr. Peters ushered Raven gently back to the table. "Honey, when your body's under stress, your period's the first thing to go. Something is setting off alarms in your body, complete with blaring loudspeakers and red flashing lights. Do you have any idea what it is?"
Raven shook her head, though the message the guesture sent was a lie. She knew exactly what it was. Dr. Peters sighed, fiddling with her pen.
"Raven. For a girl your age and height, seventy-two pounds just isn't enough. And it shows, too. You're three months overdue for your period. You've lost so much fat that your body can scarcely keep itself warm anymore. Your skin doesn't glow, your hair doesn't shine, and your nails break easily. And look at this." Dr. Peters took her arm and pinched a fold of loose skin at the forearm. "Do you think that's normal?"
"Whoever said I want to be normal?"
Dr. Peters motioned for her to stand up. Then she lossened the sash of the robe and pulled it off her shoulders, exposing Raven's thin chest and bony back. The doctor then turned Raven to face away from her. "Raven, did you notice this? This downy hair, on your back and arms?"
"Yes."
"It's called lanugo. It's your body's protection in times of severe starvation, when it loses a lot of its insulation. It's like fur--it's supposed to keep you warm. It means you aren't eating enough."
"You don't say?"
"Raven," Dr. Peters said sternly, turning the pale girl around and re-adjusting the robe so that she was decently covered once more. "If this keeps up, do you know what Dr. Ibbotson and I, as your doctors, will have to do?"
"Put me on medication?"
"No. I'm going to do that already. But if you lose any more weight, we're going to hospitalize you. We'll put you in the hospital. And you'll stay there until you gain a fairly normal weight. Then you can go home. If you still refuse to eat, the surgeon will put a tube in you, and you'll get your nutrients through that. If you try any tricks, they'll confine you to your bed. But we will keep you alive."
"But I'm not sick!"
"Yes you are, Raven. You are very sick. You could die."
Dr. Peters opened the door and came out into the waiting room. Robin jumped up immediately.
"Doctor! What... I mean..."
"Raven?" Robin nodded, and Dr. Peters sighed, shaking her pretty head with her hair tied so tight it pulled her eyes slanty. "I need to talk to you all about that. You must have noticed by now, but Raven is very sick. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but Raven has Anorexia Nervosa..."
"NO!!!" Beast Boy yelled, standing up on his chair and waving his arms emphatically. Cyborg sat up straight very suddenly and swore loudly. Robin just looked away, wishing he hadn't been right. They all knew what this was.
"Will she be undamaged when it has run its course?" Starfire asked anxiously. At this, Dr. Peters looked so sad that Star almost wished she hadn't spoken.
"Starfire, because of what this disease is like, it may never run its couse. And Raven will most certainly be damaged, though if she co-operates and we're lucky, it may only be slight."
Starfire's fearful eyes widened and began to fill with tears. "Wh... What do you mean?"
"Anorexia Nervosa means "nervous loss of appetite", which gets the idea across, but it's not quite accurate. Starfire, Raven is starving herself."
"What?"
"'Anorexics', as they're called, are obsessed with being thin. They will lose incredibly amounts of weight, and yet still think of themselves as fat. They will never be thin enough. Left to themselves, many of them would eventually starve to death."
"I do not understand." But she understood the horror and gravity of the situation, because she started to cry softly.
Dr. Peters placed a comforting hand on Starfire's shoulder. "I need all of your help, to make her keep eating. She needs to take this medicine, which will make her hungry, and hopefully make her eat more. But the medicine rarely works, not on its own--most anorexics are plenty good at ignoring hunger, by the time they get the medicine. That's where you all come in. I need you to make sure she eats with you for every meal, and that she eats all of whatever she has. All of it! And you need to be nice to her. Don't act like she's made of glass, and don't smother her--just be her friends, in deed as well as name. Anorexia always has some root in the mind, in the soul. Raven's anorexia means that somewhere inside her, she's unhappy, and feeling lost, and trying to take control of something. What it really is, is a gigantic sign flashing, 'Look how out of control I really feel!'. But she needs to feel like she's not alone. If she has someone she can lean on, she might start to feel like she's actually worth something. She needs her friends now, more than ever."
"We will do it," Starfire said firmly. Dr. Peters smiled at her.
"I'm sure you will. If you have any questions, I'm sure that Robin will probably be able to answer them for you." She handed Robin a bottle. "Make sure that Raven takes this. I want you to come back in two weeks so I can check up on her. I've already told Raven that, if she loses any more weight, we're going to hospitalize her, so she has her ultimatum. Good luck to you all."
I think this is my longest chapter yet! :D Though, it was very late at night when I wrote the last section, so I'm sorry if it seems kind of... Wrong. I fixed it as best I could! Well, now we'll just see if Raven takes Dr. Peters's advice to heart...
Human Lightshow: ::is hugged:: Yeah, the BMI can be confusing, huh? But I like math, and it fits the story quite well, so hah.
Answer: No, Gail wasn't from the comics. I wouldn't be suprised to see
a character with a name that sounds sorta like Gail who's on the police
force, but I made Gail up.
THANK YOU!! I thought so too, actually. And don't worry, I like long reviews!
Hikari Yume: Well, thanks! Hm, I didn't actually see the episode where Terra died (stupid re-runs!!!), but I warn you, if I tell you, it'll be a huge spoiler! Raven's my favorite character too, and I'm glad you could get your first impression of the TT fanfics from my fic. :D
mysticfire: Wow, I always love it when people do reviews for more than just the last chapter.
1. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!! :P
2. ::hands him a plate of cookies :: 3. Thank you! ::pleased smile::
wordbearer: Yes, now's the part where we sigh with relief. ::sigh of relief:: Someone's going to try and help Raven now. And I was thinking that her powers would weaken as well, which is fortunate. But at some point, they may become too much for her poor, tired body to handle... I hadn't thought of Trigon intervening, though. I always though of him more as a quiet, underlying menace--one moment of weakness, and he'll take over. ::shrug::
softballtitan009: 2. I thought so too. :D
4. I know! That's totally what I thought! Raven, you sexy lady! I mean, Beast Boy already worships her...
7. Heh, I try to be realistic. Being tricky is fun, too! But most
anorexics are like that, they can't or won't understand it until it's
too late, and they can't stop. They become hooked on the idea, the very
lifestyle that's killing them. Many of them are even very informed
about their 'disease', all the risks, all the 'tricks of the trade'.
But knowing the risks is never, ever enough to make them stop.
Thank you all, and I love you all to lots of little tiny shards of minute pieces! Of course, I like you better whole, but still...