Chakotay had decided to take Kathryn's advice and get out of the house for a while. He had begun to feel the stirrings of restlessness which he told himself was a good sign. Kathryn's visit had helped him get through the early, most difficult time of grief. In the few weeks since she'd left he had had lots of time to think, to remember, to further grieve. The evening hours before sleep came were the hardest. This was when he and Seven had spent most of their time together. With each day, however, came a little more reliefand though far from being healed, it at least gave him hope for somewhat of a normal future. He knew he had to stay strong. His baby girl was depending on him.

As he dressed Katie for a visit to his department at the academy, he spoke softly to her. "Daddy wants to show you off. You don't mind, do you?" Her dark eyes watched his face as he spoke and Chakotay felt his heart swell to the bursting point. Leaning over her he rested his hands on the changing table and watched her, his expression peaceful. Only a short time ago if someone had told him he could feel love this overwhelmingly strong, he might've doubted it. The love he'd had for Seven was deep, but romantic, adult love. The love he felt for his newborn daughter was all-consuming. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced and it took his breath away. Some days he wondered if he'd survive the intensity of it.

Katie made a soft noise which nudged into his thoughts and a smile spread across his face. Scooping her up he said, "Let's go Katie Bug.", using the nickname Kathryn had given her.

Kathryn materialized in her apartment just after 1800 hours, tossed her case onto the sofa and went immediately to the replicator for coffee. So much for trying to wean herself off caffeine. The dull headache had begun in the shuttle on the way to headquarters after her ship had docked. She went to the sofa and sat down, took sips from the coffee then set it down to remove her boots and uniform jacket. Picking up her cup, she went to the computer and sat down. After checking her messages and finding none that needed immediate attention, she placed a call to Chakotay.

"Hello stranger." he smiled. Kathryn was much relieved to see him looking better than when she had left.

"Hello, Chakotay." she said, "How are you?"

"Better." he answered.

"And Katie?" Kathryn asked.

"She's fine. No, better than that...she's wonderful. I don't know why I waited so long to have a child." The moment the words left his mouth, he realized how funny it sounded. Suddenly they were laughing.

"Well," Kathryn said, "I seem to remember a seven year detour along the way." Chakotay was grinning and shaking his head. "It's good to hear you laugh." Kathryn said.

"How was your trip?" he asked.

"Boring!" she said, leaning back and holding her coffee cup in both hands.

"Hmmmm..." Chakotay said, pretending to be puzzled.

"What does that mean?" Kathryn insisted.

"That doesn't sound like you." he answered, forcing down a smile that showed in his eyes. "I seem to remember you telling me that your life is on the bridge of a ship." He was teasing her and enjoying it too much.

"Damn," she said softly "you always did have a good memory."

Chakotay chuckled. "I thought you were coming by when you got back."

"I will, tomorrow." Kathryn said. "I just want a long soak and another cup of coffee." She smiled and leaned closer to the monitor. "Is that alright?"

"Of course." he nodded, "I'll tell Katie."

"Give her a kiss for me?"

"Aye, Captain." he teased, then grinned fondly. "Goodnight."

When Chakotay opened his front door with Katie in his arms, Kathryn immediately took the baby from him and stepped by him into the house. Chakotay looked down at his empty hands as he shook his head and closed the door. Putting his hands on his hips he said "Hello to you, too!"

"Sorry." Kathryn said then turned on her heel and walked back to him. To his surprise, she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. As he reached up to to touch his cheek where she had kissed him she said. "All better now?" Without waiting for an answer she looked down at Katie and said, "See how fragile they are?"

They talked, catching up on the weeks since she had left. Kathryn wanted to hear all about what Katie had done, how many ounces of formula she was taking at each feeding now, was she sleeping longer between feedings or even sleeping through the night? Though Katie had already eaten, she became fussy and would not sleep. Chakotay told Kathryn she was fighting sleep because she didn't want to miss anything. Kathryn put Katie on her shoulder and began walking with her, talking softly while Chakotay went into the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee. When Kathryn had gotten Katie to sleep and put her to bed, she came into the kitchen where Chakotay sat at the table with two cups of coffee. Pretending to brush something from her hands she said "Nothing to it." and sat down. Chakotay gave her a look as he slid a cup of coffee to her. "Alright, I lied." she said with a laugh. She lifted the cup and drank, rolled her eyes and said, "Mmmm...the good stuff."

Chakotay laughed and took a drink from his own cup. Kathryn looked at him closely...yes, he was better and her heart rejoicedfor it had been hard for her to see him in such deep pain. "How are you doing?" she asked softly. He put his cup down, seemed thoughtful for a moment then met her gaze.

"I'm going to be fine." he answered.

Kathryn's expression softened and she nodded, relieved. They both knew it was true, that someday, he would be himself again. As she leaned back in her chair, she stared at her coffee cup for several moments, lost in thought.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay said finally, realizing she had something on her mind. She glanced up at him for a moment then looked back at her cup.

"I had a lot of free time while I was away. I thought of Seven a lot." Kathryn knew that it sometimes did those in mourning good to talk about their lost loved ones and she was offering him a chance to get some things off his mind if he so desired. "I'm glad she found so much happiness." she finished.

There was a flash of anger in his eyes but he immediately forced it down. Even though he sometimes had to fight the urge to rant and rave about the unfairness of her death, or to keep himself from putting a fist through a wall, he could not spew his anger in Kathryn's presence.

"I just wish she..." he began, but his voice broke and he could not go on. Kathryn quickly reached out to cover his hands with hers.

"I'm sorry. I thought you might want to talk." She removed one hand and touched her fingertips to her forehead. "I shouldn't have..." Her hand now went to his forearm as she leaned forward. "Chakotay, I didn't mean to cause you any more pain."

"I know that." he assured her. "I realize that talking about her is good. It's just that sometimes I get so angry that she...that she was taken at the happiest time of her life. She never even got to see the baby.."

"You have every right to be angry. I feel it too." Kathryn looked into his eyes, her heart aching for him. "It's so unfair."

Chakotay went to get the coffee carafe and refilled their cups. When he returned the carafe he stared out the window for a moment then spoke, keeping his back to her. "She insisted on naming Katie after you, even though she knew how I felt about you."

Kathryn felt her heart skip a beat in her surprise. Oh my God, she thought, he told her. She put her elbows on the table and covered her face with her hands. When he turned and saw her this way, he went to sit across from her and pulled her hands away, leaned in to make her look at him. "She never held it against either of us, Kathryn. She loved us both."

"I know." Kathryn whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"I didn't tell you this to upset you." he said regretfully.

"Why did you tell me?" she asked sadly.

Chakotay let go of her hands and leaned back in his chair. "I'm not sure," he said, "maybe so you would know how much you meant to her."

"Did you tell her that nothing happened between us?" she asked.

"Yes." he answered.

Suddenly uncomfortable under his gaze, Kathryn stood and went out onto the deck. He did not follow immediately, giving her a few moments of privacy as he remembered the night Seven had brought up the subject of him and Captain Janeway. They were lying in bed in the dark having just made love.

"You were in love with Captain Janeway" Seven had said. It was a statement, not a question. After a moment of silence, he had answered.

"Yes, Seven, I was. For a while."

"Captain Janeway did not return your feelings?"

"I never told her how I felt." he answered. There was a long silence as, he assumed, she tried to understand..

"Why did you not tell her?" she asked.

"It wouldn't have been appropriate."

"It is sad," Seven said, "that you were alone for so long."

Chakotay had raised up on one elbow and looked down at her, barely able to make out her face in the darkenss. "But I found you." he'd said. She had reached up to place a hand on his cheek and said "Thank you, for being honest with me."

Chakotay stood, went outside and found Kathryn standing at the porch railing, arms crossed, staring into the backyard. He stood beside her resting his fingertips on the railing and did not speak.

"Why did you tell her?" Kathryn asked.

"I probably never would have told her, but she asked me about it one night and I was honest with her."

Kathryn was silent for a long time. His honesty was one of the qualities she had admired in him for all the years they had known each other. While he probably would have kept it to himself, when his wife questioned him about it, it was only natural for him to tell the truth. "She was a remarkable woman." Kathryn said softly. From the corner of her vision she saw him nod. He was remembering the day in the nursery when Kathryn had told Katie the same thing while he stood in the hallway listening. "We're both so fortunate to have had her in our lives." she added, turning to face him. He looked at her but his gaze was distant.

"Yes," he said, "very fortunate." Turning to look at her he once again realized how blessed he was to have Kathryn in his life. Though at one time he'd wanted much more than she'd been ready to give, he was thankful for the special kind of love they'd been able to salvage. It defied description yet held them fast to each other.

Over the next few months Kathryn, Chakotay and Katie spent a lot of time together. In her entire career, Kathryn Janeway had never used all the personal time off she accumulated, until Katie was born. She found herself taking short assignments instead of those which required her to be gone weeks on end, and enjoying being at home more. She was thrilled to be able to watch Katie grow before her own eyes. She had witnessed Katie roll over for the first time and later had been present the first time Katie sat up on her own. Chakotay had called her when Katie began crawling and she watched through the monitor almost holding her breath when Katie swayed one way or another Shortly after she returned from an assignment, Katie started to pull herself up to a standing position. Kathryn could not have loved Katie more if she had given birth to her herself.

When Katie was almost four months old Chakotay began talking of going back to work. He was amused when Kathryn wanted to meet the nanny he had on standby but realized that she was quite serious. Rather than explain all the research and interviews Seven had done before settling on Chloe, Chakotay humored Kathryn and arranged a meeting. Chakotay breathed a sigh of relief when Kathryn approved of Chloe.

Tom and B'Elanna stopped by Chakotay's house unannounced one evening and were a little surprised but glad to find Kathryn there. They had left their children with Tom's parents for the evening and gone on a date, deciding over dinner to drop in on Chakotay. They seemed almost giddy with silly smiles plastered on their faces and Kathryn got a strange feeling at their behaviour that she could not put a finger on. Unknown to her, Chakotay had felt it too. Truth was, Tom and B'Elanna had not forgotten how close their former captain and first officer had been, and had never given up hope that they woulf find each other. Though it was too soon after Seven's death to think anything was going on between them, Tom and B'Elanna thought that Kathryn's spending so much time with Chakotay was a good sign. A sign of hope.

When Katie was ten months old Kathryn was given an assignment that would take her away for 4-6 weeks. Kathryn was upset. That evening after she and Chakotay had had dinner, Katie was bathed and tucked in, Kathryn approached Chakotay on the back porch.

"I'm going to miss her first steps." she said sadly as she sank into the rocker next to his.

"I'll record it for you." Chakotay said with a smile.

Kathryn started to speak then snapped her mouth shut and leaned back in the chair with a definate pout on her face.

"Go ahead and say it." he said, trying not to laugh.

"Say what?" she said.

"You don't want to leave." he said.

Kathryn shot him a look. "So now you can read my mind?"

"I just know you, Kathryn." he said, his smile fading and his tone gentle. "And I know how much Katie means to you."

Kathryn's expression softened and she nodded. "I love her so much. I hate the thought of being away so long. Besides, this assignment promises to be more boring than the last."

"I never thought I'd hear you refer to a mission as boring." Chakotay chuckled. "But I have an idea."

"What?"

"Something to help keep you occupied during your free time."

"I'm listening." she said, curious now.

"What would you say to planning Katie's first birthday party?" Chakotay said. When he saw a flicker of excitement in her eyes, he knew he had her. "But not just a kid's party, something for the adults as well. Katie would be the guest of honor of course, but..."

"Who were you thinking of inviting?" Kathryn asked.

"Everyone important to us."

Kathryn looked into his eyes. She was touched by the word 'us' knowing he meant her as well as himself and Katie. "It sounds wonderful." she said, the wheels already turning in her head as she stood and went to the door to go inside.

"Where are you going?" he called after.

"To get a padd!" she called back from inside the house. Chakotay laughed and shook his head.