The party turned into a much larger event than Chakotay or Kathryn had originally intended yet they were thrilled with the result. Kathryn, with Katie on her hip, mingled with guests and made sure everyone was enjoying themselves. Chakotay greeted guests as well and enjoyed having his favorite people, his family, all around him. To everyone there was a feeling of great joy and togetherness.
Kathryn lowered Katie into her highchair then placed a small cake, which was a perfect miniature of the large one, before her on the tray. She stepped back to stand beside Chakotay as Chloe lit the single candle, and the crowd began singing 'Happy Birthday'. Katie stared at the flame for a moment then began looking at the faces around her as they sang, eyes wide with wonder. When the song ended and as everyone applauded, Chakotay bent to blow out the candle then remove it from the small cake. Kathryn knelt by Katie and kissed her cheek, then dipped a finger into the icing on Katie's cake and put it into her own mouth. Katie had watched the icing go into Kathryn's mouth. getting the idea. She turned back to the cake and stuck both hands in causing an eruption of laughter and more applause from the guests. Chakotay nodded at Chloe letting her know Katie was in her hands then he took Kathryn's elbow as she stood. They stepped to the table where the large cake was and Kathryn nodded to the server to begin cutting.
"Gather 'round!" she announced, "Everyone gets cake!" She drifted back to Katie's side as Chakotay picked up a glass of punch and made his way to a table where Tom sat holding his sleeping son and sat down.
"Thank goodness for naps." Tom joked.
"I'll second that!" Chakotay said with a wide smile, lifting his glass as if in toast. "Where are B'Elanna and Miral?"
Tom nodded toward the cake table where his daughter was standing on her toes, chin on the table, waiting on her piece of cake as B'Elanna stood nearby watching her.
"This party is really something!" Tom said. Chakotay smiled then looked over at Kathryn who was kneeling by Katie, gently wiping icing from the birthday girl's face and hands with a napkin.
"It's all Kathryn's doing," he said, "I can't take any of the credit."
"It's great to see everyone together." Tom said. Chakotay glanced around and nodded. Indeed it was. As if on cue, they raised their glasses in salute.
"To family and old friends." Tom said. They sipped their punch, then Tom added, "Speaking of family, you and Kathryn and Katie sure make a nice one." He purposely averted his eyes to his wife and daughter but watched Chakotay from the corner of his vision. Chakotay had looked at him for a moment then glanced down at his glass.
"Kathryn has been a tremendous help with Katie." Chakotay said softly, "Katie needed a woman's influence and Kathryn stepped up."
"Okay..." Tom said, drawing the word out. Chakotay met his eyes, brows raised. "Oh, come on, Chakotay," Tom said, "it's more than that and you know it." Chakotay looked at him, not sure how to react or what to say. When he made a move to stand Tom reached out and placed a hand on Chakotay's shoulder, stopping him. "You're as stubborn as my wife!"
"Tom," Chakotay began, "I don't think.."
"Bingo!" Tom interrupted. "You don't think."
Chakotay was now quite surprised at the way Tom was talking, at what he was hinting at.
"You know what I'm talking about." Tom went on. "How much of your life, and hers, are you going to let go to waste?"
At that moment B'Elanna came to the table and put a place of cake in front of Tom. She had noticed the strange look on Chakotay's face and met Tom's eyes with a questioning look as she took T'Vall from his arms. "I'll go put him down." she said, then to Chakotay, "Is that alright?"
"Of course." he said, glad for the interruption of this uncomfortable moment as he stood. "I'll walk you in."
"Don't be silly," she said and turned to leave.
When Tom looked up, Chakotay saw an out and said, "I'll go see if Kathryn needs my help."
"Oh, I'm sure she does." Tom said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. He picked up the fork and started to eat cake as Chakotay made a quick exit.
Kathryn was picking up Katie when Chakotay approached with an odd look on his face. Looking up at him, she asked if anything was wrong.
"No, no," he answered a little too quickly.
Kathryn hesitated a moment, not sure she believed that, then said, "Katie wants to open her gifts." She turned her face and touched her forehead to Katie's. "Don't you, Katie Bug?"
"Good idea." Chakotay said. They moved to yet another table, piled high with gifts. Kathryn put Katie down then handed her a gift. Katie held the pretty package for a moment then looked up at Kathryn, not knowing what to do.
"Look," Kathryn said as she knelt and began to tear the wrapping paper away. "See?" she said, "What's in there?" Katie caught on quickly and began tearing paper, giggling. The guests gathered around to watch. Chakotay watched with a wide smile, not knowing which gave him more pleasure, Katie's face or Kathryn's as they ripped into the gifts. Forgotten for the moment were Tom's words and the uneasiness they had caused him.
Chloe began to gather the paper when Katie had opened the last gift and Kathryn picked up Katie, who put her arms out to her father. He took her and kissed her forehead as Kathryn beamed at them then went to get herself a glass of punch. As she took the glass from the server, Harry approached.
"Hello." he said with a smile.
"Hello, Harry!" she said and reached out for a hug. "I was going to find you in a moment. How are you?" she asked, one hand on his shoulder.
"Fine, thank you," he answered, "Great party."
"Thanks." she said, "Katie deserved a happy day, just for her." Her tone was almost sad and Harry nodded slightly. They both knew this day was also the anniversary of Seven's death.
"Well, she has it." Harry said happily. They stood shoulder to shoulder and looked around. "She's so pretty." he said almost dreamily.
"She's quite a handful." Kathryn said. She saw Katie yawning and rubbing her eyes and knew it was time for a nap. "Excuse me, Harry. We'll talk later?"
"Sure." he answered with a smile as she handed him her glass. He watched her cross the yard and approach Chakotay who smiled at her as she took Katie from his arms.
"I think our girl needs her nap." she said to Chakotay.
"I think you're right." he answered.
"I'll go put her down." she said as she patted Katie's back. Katie wrapped her arms around Kathryn's neck and put her head down against her shoulder, eyelids heavy.
"Don't forget this." Chakotay said, handing her a blue stuffed bunny, one of Katie's favorites among her new gifts.
"People," Kathryn said to the guests, "the birthday girl needs a nap." There was a collective 'awww' from the crowd but Kathry held up a hand to quiet them. "But the party's not over! Please enjoy yourselves and I'll be back in a little while."
Kathryn came into the house and was surprised to find B'Elanna sitting on the sofa by the cradle where T'Vaal slept.
"B'Elanna, Chloe can sit with the children while they nap, and you and I can get back to the party." Kathryn said. B'Elanna stood and followed her into Katie's room. "This one will be out in a few minutes." she said as she settled into the rocking chair. B'Elanna smiled and sat on the ottoman in front of Kathryn. "Miral was casing the cake again when I came in." Kathryn said with a laugh.
"She gets very little sugar," B'Elanna said "and she takes full advantage of an opportunity when one come around."
Kathryn rocked slowly, patting Katie's back gently.
"She means a lot to you, doesn't she?" B'Elanna asked.
"That's an understatement," Kathryn said with a slight smile, her eyes filled with tenderness as she rested her chin against Katie's head.
"Chakotay's done an amazing job with her." B'Elanna said softly, then meeting Kathryn's gaze she added meaningfully, "You both have."
"He's a wonderful father," Kathryn said. "Sometimes I wonder if he would've recovered from losing Seven if..." she stopped, unwilling to say the words.
"You were a big part of his recovery too." B'Elanna said, maintaining eye contact.
"He's my dearest friend. He needed me, and I like to think Katie needed me too." Kathryn said almost in a whisper.
B'Elanna paused for a moment and told herself this was as good a time as any.
"He'll always need you." she said, willing Kathryn to grasp her meaning.
"And I will always be there for him." Kathryn said as she looked down and smoothed Katie's dress.
B'Elanna exhaled. "Okay, I'm just going to say this."
Kathryn stopped rocking and looked up at her, wondering what was coming. B'Elanna leaned toward her, her look intense.
"Wake up, Kathryn." she said.
"Excuse me?" Kathryn said, truly confused.
"You are one of, if not the smartest person I've ever known," B'Elanna said, "but this just keeps getting by you year after year."
When Kathryn opened her mouth to speak B'Elanna quickly added, "You and Chakotay belong together."
Kathryn unsuccessfully sought to keep the surprise from her face. Her expression slowly softened as she almost whispered. "That was a long time ago."
"That's nonsense and you know it." B'Elanna almost spat. Kathryn was completely speechless now as anger flashed in her eyes. She rose to put the sleeping Katie in her crib then took B'Elanna's elbow and led her into the livingroom.
Keeping her voice low because of the sleeping infant nearby, she said evenly, "B'Elanna, I don't know if you're just having a bad day, or..."
"I'm having a perfectly lovely day!" she answered, "I'm glad to be with dear friends who mean the world to me." She lowered her voice a bit as her eyes bore into Kathryn's, "But two of those friends are either blind, or fools." With this she sat down hard on the sofa and crossed her arms, ready for what Kathryn would dish out.
"Excuse me?" Kathryn said again, obviously fighting for control, anger just below the surface.
"Everyone sees it but you Kathryn." B'Elanna said, looking at her with defiance. "Or could it be that you won't see it?"
"B'Elanna, he lost his wife. He has a daughter to raise.." Kathryn said with forced calm as she sat in the chair opposite B'Elanna.
"Look, I know he loved Seven." B'Elanna said, "And I'm sorry she died." Leaning forward for emphasis, she went on. "But he loved you long before Seven. As far as I'm concerned, she got him by default."
"B'Elanna!" Kathryn whispered in shock, unable to believe the words she'd just heard.
"I'm sorry," B'Elanna said with a deep sigh as she leaned back again. "I don't mean to sound cruel or insensitive, but this has to be said. You have to take your walls down, Kathryn, before any more precious time is lost. Didn't Seven's death teach you anything? Life is too short to waste another minute of it." She paused and shook her head slowly. "It's up to you, Kathryn. He won't push you, he's not like that." She stood and went to pick up her sleeping son then looked down at Kathryn who was staring straight ahead, still unable to respond. "It was a wonderful party." B'Elanna said softly with as much kindness as she could muster. As she quietly left, she prayed she had gotten through.
Tom, Harry and Chakotay were sitting at a table talking when B'Elanna approached and said to Tom, "Are you ready to go?"
"Sure. Ready when you are." he answered as he stood and put an arm around her shoulders, reaching out with his other to shake hands with Chakotay. "Don't be a stranger." he said, then reached to shake with Harry. "You either, Buddy."
"Thanks for coming." Chakotay said as he stood and leaned over to kiss B'Elanna's cheek. "Behave yourselves." he added.
"Not a chance!" Tom said as he went to collect Miral. B'Elanna was staring at Chakotay.
"What?" he said.
B'Elanna opened her mouth to speak then closed it.
"Something on your mind, Torres?" he asked with a grin.
"No, nothing." she lied. Tom rejoined her with Miral in his arms. "We had a great time." she said softly, turning to leave. "Take care of yourself, Old Man."
When the last of the guests had been seen off, Kathryn went into the kitchen for coffee. Chakotay joined her, leaning against the counter as she poured two cups.
"Kathryn, that was a great party. I can't thank you enough." he said, accepting the cup she handed him.
"I enjoyed it too. No thanks needed." she said, lifting the cup to her lips, gazing out the window.
"Did you see Katie on that hover toy?" Chakotay laughed.
"She is a bit of a daredevil, isn't she?" Kathry said as she turned around and leaned against the counter beside him.
"She must've gotten that from her Aunt Kathryn." he said with a sly smile.
"Sure, blame it one me!" she shot back, bumping his elbow with hers.
Chloe came in with Katie on her hip. "Well, Miss Katie's had her bath." she said, "There was more icing in her hair than on her cake!" She touched her nose to Katie's. Katie smiled then turned and put her arms out to her father. Chakotay handed his cup to Kathryn then stepped over to take his daughter, kissing her cheek and loving her baby scent. Kathryn came up behind him and kissed Katie's hand.
"Chakotay," Chloe said, "Mother has a gift for Katie and she wants to see the birthday girl. Is it alright if I take her over for a little while?"
"I think that would be fine." Chakotay said as he handed Katie back to her. "Just have her back by dinner time." He smiled at his daughter. "You be a good girl."
"She always is." Chloe said, then to Katie. "Tell Daddy and Aunt Kathryn bye-bye." Katie raised a chubby fist then opened and closed it several times. Chakotay and Kathryn laughed and waved as Chloe and Katie turned to leave.
"I need a break." Kathryn said as she went to the table to sit down. "Who knew a child's party could be so exhausting?"
"That was more than just a child's party." he reminded her as he joined her at the table. "I can't believe she's a year old already." he added thoughtfully, resting his elbow on the back of the chair.
"Neither can I." Kathryn said then sipped her coffee. "The first time I saw her, I remember thinking she looked like you. Now she's even more like you."
Chakotay stared past her, distant and in deep thought. Kathryn was sure he was remembering what else today was...the anniversary of the day he lost Seven, and the day his life changed forever. When several moments passed, she spoke softly.
"I'd better go." She rose and stepped to the sink to set her cup down. "The caterer will be sending people to clean up."
"Aren't you staying for dinner?" he asked, brought out of his thoughts by her words.
"Oh no, I'll grab something later." she said, her back still to him.
"Kathryn," Chakotay said, taking her wrist. She turned to look at him. "sit down, please. I need to talk to you." He released her as she went back to the chair opposite him. He pulled his chair closer, rested his elbows on the table and interlaced his fingers. "Tom gave me a little talk today." he said. Kathryn felt herself stiffen slightly as she wondered if it was similar to the one she'd received from B'Elanna. "Told me I was wasting my life...and yours." He paused for a moment as he thought he saw for the very first time stark fear in her eyes. "Would you know anything about that?"
Kathryn rested her crossed arms on the table looking at his hands, willing herself to be calm. "It seems I got a similar talk from B'Elanna." she said, then swallowed. Still unable to meet his eyes, she went on. "She said I need to take my walls down before any more time is lost." Finally she looked up at him.
"What do you think we should do?" he asked with just a hint of a smile.
"Do?" Kathryn said. "Maybe we should tell then to mind their own business!" She was trying to be funny but it did not come across that way and Chakotay's face fell.
"So they're all wrong?" he said. Kathryn felt her heart wrench at the sadness on his face and in his voice. Slowly she uncrossed her arms and reached to cover his hands with hers.
"Oh, Chakotay," she said almost in a whisper, "it seems we've tiptoed around this for so, so long." She looked down at their hands, unable to meet his eyes as she added, "In my mind, our chance had passed."
Chakotay pulled his hands free then grasped hers within them. "But what does your heart tell you?" he asked very softly. Slowly her eyes came up to meet his.
Barely able to speak for the lump in her throat, she whispered, "My heart tells me...it's tired of waiting."
In an instant, he was around the table pulling her to her feet against him. His head was bent over her, hers tilted back, their faces close as they just looked into each other's eyes. Slowly he leaned in and kissed her tenderly, almost shyly. When the kiss ended, without opening her eyes, Kathryn rested her forehead on his chest and he lowered his chin to the crown of her head. They remained this way for several moments as the meaning of this long, long awaited moment sank in. When Kathryn lifted her head to look up at him, she smiled and reached up to brush away a tear. "I'm shaking." she said, a bit embarrassed.
"I know." he said, grinning.
"This is a little scary." she admitted.
"Kathryn Janeway, you've never been afraid of anything a day in your life." he said.
"Well," she said, moving her arms up to encircle his neck. "there's first time for everything."
His smile slowly faded as he looked at her intensely, the enormity of his love clear in his expression. Slowly he leaned toward her again and just before their lips met he whispered, "Don't be afraid."
end Chapter 5