A/N: I'm ALIVE! I am deeply sorry I didn't update for so long, but a lot of crap was going on at that time. Anyway, I have two more chapters already written, both of which are pretty good (by my standards anyway)

It's been a year,

A year since she died,

My sister, Rogue.

You know how people say that time heals all wounds? They're stupid lying bastards. There is no way to stop the scar tissue, the things that wake you screaming in the night.

I miss her so much. She was the one I talked to with all of my problems. Rogue was good like that. She never judged anyone, always listened like it was the most important thing in the world, and cared for us more than any of us realized. People thought that Rogue was cold, that she somehow felt less than we did. But that wasn't Rogue. Rogue absorbed all the joy, all the pain, took it all into herself like it would lessen the burden. But who listened to Rogue's problems, who would hand her a tissue when tears dripped down, or give her a hug (through the layers of fabric she wore) when she felt like the whole world was against her? No one did. No one...

"Kurt? Hello?"

"Yes, Kitty?" She's staring at me, her bright blue eyes locked with my own.

"Are you ok? The bell's about to ring, and you've just been spacing out." it seems stupid, being here at this school. We do our homework and go to class, and no one talks about it.

FLASHBACK

It's lunch; we're all sitting together, Kitty, Scott, Jean, and I. We're eating but not saying anything, it's only been two days since she died. Rogue's English teacher walks up, trailing a couple of students. He stops and asks, "Have you guys seen Rogue?"

I choke on my sandwich, Kitty gasps, and Scott looks away. We haven't said her name since the meeting. Jean smiles and points one manicured fingernail toward the door, "well I haven't seen her sir, but you might check outside, she usually eats out there."

We never said that she died, never. The professor told the school some stupid story about Rogue going back to Mississippi. Lies, I'm so tired of the lies.

Jean acts like everything's the same, the new recruits laugh and talk, but for some of us, it will never be the same again.

Logan died that day when we left the warehouse. Since that day he hasn't once smiled, but gotten a lot closer to Kitty and me. Once I heard him yelling at the Professor, screaming about the fact that we left Rogue's body behind.

Kitty and I went back to the warehouse once; both of us just sat on the floor for a while and cried. Kitty lost her innocence, she no longer screams about the mall, or looking great for dates. She spends a lot of time alone, and once I caught her looking through Rogue's journals and crying.

Scott seems to feel guilty, but now whenever we return safely from a mission, he sighs like the world's been lifted off his shoulders. I think he grieved more for his perfect record as team leader than for Rogue.

Remy stayed with us for a while, he kept a couple of Rogue's things, a pair of gloves, a scarf, and a picture. It tore me apart looking as this man, this person who was once my enemy. He loved Rogue with his whole heart, I know it. When he left, he gave me a phone number, told me to call if we ever found anything. Logan and he would have killed all of the agents, and I know they'd do it now if they could.

It's lunch, we all sit down, Scott has his arm slung around Jean's shoulder, and they're smiling like they don't know what day it is. In eight hours, it will be the exact moment that she died.

My mind wanders to the window where there's a huge elm tree. Rogue used to sit there, quietly reading or staring out into space. I try to tear my gaze away but can't, I squeeze Kitty's shoulder. She looks up at me, and we both nod.

I throw my lunch away, as does she, and we walk outside. I settle in front of the tree, she lays a hand on its trunk.

"It's been a year Kitty, do you think they'll do something?"

She looks up from the tree, "what, you mean like a service?"

"Yeah."

She laughs bitterly, "No, they couldn't care less. Did you know the Scott and Jean are going on a date tonight? A date!"

Anger boils underneath my skin, I stand up, "damn them for desecrating her! Damn them for not letting us grieve!"

Kitty sighs and a tear escapes her eye, "I miss her Kurt."

I inhale shakily, "I know."

I hug her, and we both walk away from the school, I don't care if there's three more periods left.

The Mansion

Logan's sitting on the steps, somehow he knows whenever Kitty and I break the rules. He doesn't scold us, just moves to the side to make room. We both sit and stare at the yard in front of us, the sprawling carpet of green. Logan speaks, "were you thinking about it?"

"Yeah." Kitty says, and then bursts out, "Jean and Scott are going on a date tonight, tonight of all nights!"

Logan nods, "what were you expecting half-pint, they didn't know her like we did."

I stand and turn around to go inside, but Logan stops me. "We've got a mission tonight."

Anger blazes up, "A mission tonight! Mein gott, what are they trying to do to us?"

Logan nods, "Yes, but we need you, the Prof's letting Jean and Scott off the hook, don't know why..."

He trails off as a motorcycle comes up the gravel drive, two people on it. All of us stand, Kitty and I staring inquisitively at the two figures. The driver takes of his helmet; it's Remy, no surprise there. Not even an all out war would keep him from being here on the anniversary of Rogue's death.

The next one's a shocker, tanned hands lift off the helmet, and long brown hair spills out. Glacial eyes peer out from underneath them, and the person says, "hello Logan."

Kitty splutters and says, "X 23?"

Next Chapter: Remy ("My eyes [stop] on a small picture. It's Rogue. She's smiling, how I loved her smile")

The next chapter will have some Romyness, because that's my favorite pairing. However, I probably won't use it very much, as to not alienate the people who read this and can't stand romance with their angsty deathfics.