Forgotten, a sailor moon fanfic

Note: What was Sailor Saturn thinking as she destroyed the Earth? Takes place during Sailor Moon: Super

(FORGOTTEN)

I am Forgotten

No one remembers me

Why should they?

All they know of me is fear and Silence

Silence and Darkness

Darkness and fear

I am Forgotten

I am Forbidden

I am Alone

Alone

Such a lonely

Painful word

But it speaks

Truth

How I have loved that word

But the

Truth, as I have

Painfully learned, has many,

Many

Sides

Too

Many

Sides

What is

Truth to me now?

Even with

Truth

I am Alone

The word

Truth used to bring me comfort

But now it brings me pain

Unbearable

Pain

And

Loneliness

Alone

My thoughts have brought me back into a full circle

An unending cycle that is my life

Back to the world that

I am forced to dwell in

Back to the word that is now my one true companion

Alone

Even the Light turns her bright radience from me and leaves me in this bitter cold

Alone to sleep as all feeling leaves my body and soul

Leaving me

Cold and numb

I was once feared as a Goddess!

A Goddess

As beautiful and terrible as the dawn

Treacherous

as the

Sea

Stronger than

The foundations of the

Earth

As gorgeous and horrible as the

Morning and the

Night

Fair as the

Caldron of the Stars

Birth place of life

And the Moons

And the Suns that shine their glory upon all Creations

And the snows upon the mountain tops

As dreadful and wonderous

As the Storm and the Lightening

All Hath Loved Me and Despaired!

ALL HAVE LOVED ME AND DESPAIRED!

The fear of my voice had reverberated from one corner of the Universe to the other

But then

Then

Then came the force

The being

That not even a

Goddess

Even an Ex - Goddess could control nor defeat

The truly Fallen Star

Chaos

Mother and

Father of

Evil

Ekthroi

"The Enemy"

Nemesis

Lucifer

Satan

Semihaza

Duma

Keriel

Mastema

Beliar

Gadreel

Beelzebub

Demon

Devil

Oni

Balrog

Morgoth

Markel

"The Darkness"

Names that now strike fear into the hearts of men and bring blasphemy upon any who utter the name of the greatest evil. But it is only a name and not the true name the darkness would call upon. For they are all man made names and cannot harm you for they are not real… But the one who owns the name is…

Call

She

They

What you will

For the safety of my dying

Power

Control and

Sanity

And for the safety of those whom I hath loved

And

Those whom hath loved me

I was

Exiled

Banished from the

Light

Forbidden

Forgotten

Alone

So Alone

So the years pass

More years

More centuries then I dare to even try to count

And I slept

And I dreamed

I dreamed of them

I laughed with them

I wept with them

Wept for them

"Wept for love of them"

I cherished their loves

I cursed their hates

But I could do nothing when

Last

At long last

Prophecy and

Destiny met

Not

Met

Not

Met

COLLIDED

Collided with such a force that the earth had trembled upon her foundations and I tossed and turned in my uneasy slumber

But there was nothing

Nothing

Nothing I could do when the enemy came back to them

To finish the unfinished

To complete the uncompleted

I could only watch

A force older than time

Trapped

Encaged

Behind the eyes of a young firefly

Encaged

Trapped

Inside of a broken body with no will of my own

I could only watch

Forbidden

Forgotten

Alone

But then...

Then...

Sudden Freedom

Bitter Freedom

But Freedom all the same

The clash between the Light and the Darkness...

(Light and Dark

White and Black

Good and Evil

God and Satan

Order and Chaos

All the opposite sides of the same coin

A reflection of opposition)

And the truth will set you free

Ask me no questions

I'll tell you no lies

The battle between two violently opposing forces came to a shuddering, violent climax.

Between the Light and the Darkness...

The Light was strong

But the Darkness had an alai

An alai from within

The Light was strong

The Darkness was stronger

The one they called Mistress had arisen once again from her own Gilded Cage

The Black Massiah

My own perverted reflection come to twisted life.

Life.

How I have hated it

How I have loved it

For Life

is all and nothing

Nothing

And

All

She shared my prison

My cage with me

And I didn't even know she was there

Until it was too little

Too late

She saw what I saw

She felt what I felt

And Slowly

But surely

The Mistress

Broke

Free

Dragging me

My soul

Along with her

Into a new cage

A new horror

A new sorrow

"For the most confining cages are the ones we make for ourselves."

And oh!

Oh!

What a cage!

What a cage I have forged for myself

A cage of flesh and bone

Stone and light

(In this house of stone and light

I must go there

To find my soul there

The house of stone and light)

This time, instead of watching the war of

wars

"It was a

war to end all

Wars"

From the sidelines.

This time

Time

(Time is everything and nothing)

Time is relative

I was forced to watch from enemy lines as a Prisoner of War

Forced to watch as those whom I loved (love) fall (Fell) Before the

Black Massiah's might.

For as she is my reflection in physical form, so too did she gain my power…

But not all…

Not all…

Thank heaven…

If there is a heaven…

I have never seen it

For I burn

Burn in a hell of my own creation

And though I cried and screamed and fought with all of my might within this new and more horrid nightmare

Within this cage of abominable

Unforgivable

Sin

This cage of

Flesh and bone and blood

No one could hear me

No one even knew I was there

But now

Now

Now I too am free

Sudden freedom

Bitter freedom

And Oh

Oh how my heart aches for the one who housed me.

But now I am free

Bitter

Bitter freedom

My awakening has begun.

Summoned by the death of one I hold dear.

One who has forsaken me to the darkness

Her soul has now fled

Forsaking them once again to the darkness

Heaven have mercy upon their souls

Those whom I loved now look upon me with fear

They may be (Have once been) Shall be the greatest of Warriors Senshi (Soldiers)

They may have (Are) Will seen things that would make the bravest man go insane.

Things that would make any other attempt to tear their eyes out with their bare hands.

But now

In their eyes there is a nameless terror

Worse then the horrors they have faced (Are facing) Shall face

in the past.

And many they have faced and triumphed over

But this terror strikes their hears and freezes their blood with fear.

For this terror has come from within

For this terror is no stranger at all

For this terror is close to them

This terror is someone they have known since they were born

This terror

Oh how I have longed to hold you all in my arms once again my beloved friends (Sisters)

How I have longed these many

Many years

How I have longed to weep for joy and tell you all how much I have missed you (How much I Miss you)

How much I love you

(How much I Loved you)

But what spills from my lips is very

Very different.

Kyrie ileson

God have mercy upon their souls

"It does not seem so very long ago since I was last called upon... I am forever to be the uninvited guest..."

Uninvited guest

That is all I am now

An uninvited guest

I who is one of The First. Born of the Star Cauldron and not of human flesh.

I who is, was and shall be the sister of Cosmos child of Light and Chaos child of the Dark.

I who has watched the stars be born

I who has seen more in the second it takes to blink an eye than most would see in ten thousand (10,000) lifetimes.

I who was there when these nine beautiful soldiers had been born

In fact I was the one who had pulled them from their mother's wombs and cut them off from those other Nine beautiful soldiers

I Had cleaned them

Had held them

Had comforted their hurts

Had dried their tears

Had loved them

Oh my beloved friends how my heart aches with sorrow for you.

My mouth continues to speak the words that my soul flinches to hear.

"Several coincidences piled up to warp the progress of events...

...And at some point, history was taken off course. The very fact that my host,"

My gilded cage

My home

Oh how my heart has ached for you

But now at last you too are free

Do you even realize?

Do you even comprehend?

You must

You must know that even in death you shall never be forgotten

Just as I shall never be remembered.

Never forgotten

Never remembered

Rest in peace beloved

Rest in peace

Sleep my child and peace attend thee

All through the night

Guardian angels I shall send to thee

All through the night

Over they spirit gently stealing

Visions of the Light revealing

Breathes a pure and holy feeling

All through the night

"Who was destined to die in the accident that took her life..."

How well I remember that day

You were only three years old then and just beginning to discover the world and its many wonders.

And for the first time since my imprisonment

My banishment

My exile

I was beginning to take a wary joy in life.

I was even prepared to live happily within my cage, so long as you kept on laughing in that high, beautiful voice like that of a little bird...

But it was not to be.

You found something that should never have been discovered.

How well I remember that day

Dias irea

Dias illa

Soclus Seclum in favilla

Dias Irea

Dias illa

That day of wrath

That day

When judgment is come

That day of wrath

That day

The Pain

The horror

The blackness

The abomination

"...And began her impossible life as a cyborg...

...Straining her body and my soul, which would have slept peacfully within her..."

Peacefully my ASS

Each seizure that my poor gilded cage was forced to endure

Each surgery

Each amputation

They snipped away bits of her body each day!

Every part that began to putrify was done away with

Each convulsion that wracked her too small frame

Wracked my soul with agony as her young body began to slowy decompose like the corpse it was.

The corpse is should have been

She should have DIED that day

I should have killed her myself instead of allowing her live in such agony…

Instead of allowing that THING to take her away

Take her away from me

But I was foolish

So foolish

Living within her heart

Sleeping and dreaming and happy with her happiness

Loving her loves

Hating her hates

I should have protected her from this nightmare

But instead I hoped that she would wake up

That they, my beloved friends, would save her

Save me

But I was wrong

I was foolish

And so my beloved paid

Paid with her body

Paid with her life

Paid with her soul

I sorry beloved

I'm so sorry…

May god have mercy on her…

"The fact that this body began to live as a vessel for the Black Massiah that now rests before me..."

I fight the urge to spat.

I never even realized that I was not alone in my prison

I never even realized the danger

I was too worried about my little firefly.

I never saw

The danger

Until it was too late

HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND!

There were so many things I could have done to prevent this moment!

But that's the irony isn't it!

Isn't it!

How could you ever forgive me?

How could you ever forgive me for

this

Unforgivable sin?

"The very fact that this vessal's own father's twisted heart called the darkness to this reality of existance... But that was only natural."

Only natural

How I have loathed those words

Only natural

Only natural that my gilded cage would die at so appalingly young an age

Only natural that her own father's twisted heart would bring her back

Back to a bitter, twisted life of unbearable agony.

Only natural that her body would begin to decompose and fall to bits like the putrefied abomination brought to unnatural life that it was.

Only natural that her soul would be ripped in two by two powerful, god-like beings fighting for ultimate control

Only natural that she would die

Again

in a war that had nothing to do with her.

that had everything to do with her

Only natural.

My mouth continues to speak the words my poor heart refuses to even comprehend and that my head is just barely beginning to understand.

"We were drawn here... And the path to another realm was opened here...

... For this is a chosen, holy land."

Chosen, holy land

That's what it all comes down to.

I know it would be unbearably unfair to say that the Light chose this land when she so obviously did not.

It was by pure, accidental, bad luck that she just happened to be born here.

She could have been born on Pluto or the moons of Jupiter for all I know

For all I care

Because by then I had already been asleep and my mind was not my own.

Of course Destiny had a hand in the choosing.

Of course

Damn you Destiny

Damn you for putting me in this wretched

wretched position

To forever be scorned

To forever be feared

To forever be forgotten

And forbidden

And Alone

"The fact that all this has gathered here...

...And that all has commenced it's decent into destruction..."

Destruction

Omega

Armegeddon

Doom's Day

Dies Irea

Judgment Day

D-Day

The End

The End of All Things

Call it what you will.

The day where all shall be laid to waste and returned unto the nothing from

whence it came.

"For dust we are

And unto Dust shall we return."

There is a reason why I am forever to be the one Forbiddon

The one Forgotten

The one Scorned

The one feared

The one Alone

There is a reason

"...Was all predestined..."

Predestined

Another word I hate

It was predestined that I was to be born the way I am

It was predestined that I was to be Forbidden

Forgotten

Alone

It was predestined that my gilded cage was to die

Now She

As am I

Is free

But for how long?

How long is anyone truly free?

"Freedom is not free"

"The price of freedom isn't cheap"

"There must be a certain amount of sacrifice needed to maintain a front of happiness."

For the coin of all freedom is in the blood of the innocent

My Gilded Cage

But even when she paid the price and was at last 'Free'

She remained behind

To save a treasure greater than herself.

The souls of my beloved

She protected them even when all seemed lost.

Protected them with all of her failing strength

She questioned her strength.

"I am dead, my body is gone

I'm now little more than a ghost

Why do I linger?

My life is gone

There is nothing left for me here

But where is this strength

This power

Coming from?

ME?

Was I ever really this strong?

I'll save you

I will never let such pure, beautiful souls fall into such utter darkness as mine has

With this strength I have at last found

I'll save you

I will never let them touch such pure and beautiful souls such as these

These long forsaken treasures

I WILL PROTECT YOU..."

Her strangely, strong voice still echoes through my empty soul

Echoes of a past that shall never be forgotten

She has nothing left to loose

She HAD nothing left to loose

Just as I have nothing left to loose

Except this wretched life

Nothing left to loose

Nothing more to gain

And yet once more the Light calls upon my strength.

When there is no hope

WHY DO THEY FEAR ME SO!

This dark guardian angel has been watching over them for time untold!

MY ONLY STRENGTH IS HOPE!

'The Darkest hour is the hour before dawn.'

I was to make sure that the light

The dawn actually had a chance to break free

I was the one who would save them from this despair!

But alas

They have forgotten

'Time waits for no one'

Time changes everyone

MY GOD

WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

What was that poem my gilded cage had once read?

'And there shalt he return unto the vile dust from whence he sprung

Unwept...

Unhonored...

And

Unsung...'

That's me

I am the forbidden one

The Fallen Starr

The angel shot from heaven

The one condemned to sleep forever in eternal damnation.

The ultimate secret

Destructive weapon

A weapon of mass destruction.

Never to know the light

'For light without darkness is not light.'

I should hate them

for what they've done to me

What they've made me

I should hate her

Hate her

for pitiying me

Hate her

for putting me in this wretched position

But I cannot

They are my only loves

These ignorant fools who shun me for who I am

For what I am

But I hate them not

I harm them not

FORGIVE THEM MY LORD

FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO

'For they know not what they do.'

I am the one condemned

The one damned

'Damned for all time.'

'And though I walketh through the valley of death and despair

I feareth not the darkness...'

For the darkness is what I am

I am Shadow

The shadow within the light

Once upon a time

Once upon a time and so long ago that even the oldest of the stars have trouble remembering,

I was once a Goddess

A Goddess of Destruction

A Deity of Silence

'I am the journeyer from the valley of death'

I am forgotten

I am alone

Those who loved me have long since forgotten me

Except one

But she cannot reach me

No matter how hard she would try

I would lock myself away from her

To protect her

From what?

From myself

From herself

My sister

My beloved

How she has wept for me

Tried to save me

But I could not be saved

Would not be saved

Now I am far away

Where no one can find me

Where no one can reach me

Not even she

My beloved

My sister

Where am I ?

Sometimes even I wonder

I am on a world,

A star,

That is slowly being ripped apart at the seams.

I am alone

Alone and forgotten

Who am I ?

Sometimes even I wonder

'I wonder

I wonder

Oh cannot you see?

Is there someone out there

Wondering like me?'

'I am nobody

Who are you?

Are you nobody too?'

I am forgotten

No one remembers me

Why should they?

I am not even very much to look upon

If you saw me on the streets you would not even look twice at me

If you saw me you would think

'"This is the one that has inspired such fear?"'

Small and thin

Bones of a bird and just as fragile

Skin the white of uncorrupted diamond

The white of a corpse

Small hands red with blood

Blood of the Enemy

Blood of the innocent

Blood of my beloved

Blood of myself

I have taken so much

I have given so little

I may have the body of a child

But my heart

My soul

And my mind are older than time itself

Himself

Herself

'Dead I am the life

Dig into the skin

Knuckle crack the bone

Twenty-one to win

Dead I am the dog

Hound of Hell you cry

Devil on your back

I can never die'

I can never die

Immortal

A Fallen Star

An outcast Goddess

A Senshi

Damned to sleep until called upon

Damned to be trapped in this living and still un-living hell.

The powers of a Goddess

Powers unmatched by any

Unmatched by even the Light

But they have been stifled for these untold eons

However

There is one power

One gift

One curse

I have not lost

Have never lost

Will never loose

There is a reason why they fear me

Why untold terror fills their hearts at the mere mention of my name.

There is a reason

"...Now that I have at long last been awakened... I must drop the curtain of Silence."

Horror crosses their faces

The faces of my beautiful,

Beloved friends

It pains my heart

But it was all predestined

My duty set in something harder than stone

Harder than the hardest substance in exsistence

My duty

What is

My duty?

We all have one

Each person is given a certain number of breaths to breathe

A certain number of tasks to accomplish

A certain duty to fulfill before death can finally bear the soul away to sleep

But after one has finished that duty what then?

A question that cannot be answered that

Or have I already answered it?

Sometimes I wonder;

What is

My duty?

My duty to forever be alone and forgotten?

Scorned and feared?

To forever love them

And protect them

And eventualy kill them?

Sometimes I wonder

My beloved friends cry out to me

To stop the unstopable

But my power has already been called upon

It cannot be stopped

The only one who could stop the now unstoppable lies dead in the darkness below my feet.

Only a mericle could save them now

But in my world there are no mericles

Mericles do not exist

Never did exist

More's the pity sometimes I think

More's the pity

My power appears in physical form around my body

Steel ribbons of deadly spledure that will rip my body and this word apart.

Armegeddon

Doom's Day

Dies Irae

The End

My voice rises in a call

A cry that echoes above the howling wind and the shouts of my beloved friends

Words that are pulled from my chest

Torn from my throat

Ripped from my mouth

"Now return unto nothing and bring me an end to this world!"

'For dust we are

And to dust shall we return.'

'And though I walketh through the valley of death

I feareth not the darkness'

For the Darkness is who I am

For the darkness is what I am

I am like the bird in the Gilded Cage

Never to know freedom

I am forgotten

No one remembers me

Why should they?

There is a reason why they fear me

Terrible

Reason

But I was the one who would save them!

Why do they fear me?

Sometimes I wonder why

Why

WHY

WHY?

WHY!

I'm not even very much to look upon

A simple firefly

Scrawny

Puny

Exiled

Alone

Forgotten

My cage was teased unmercifully for her looks

For the way she was

'You never talk!'

'Emotionless'

'Stuck up!'

'Freak!'

'FREAK!'

Teased because she was different

Because of me

There was one thing though that set her apart from all those other people

Those pathetic

Weak

Disgusting creatures known as humans…

HUMANS…

They think they are soooo wonderful

They talk about equality and rights and "Justice"

What do they know?

Nothing

They talk about how great they are while slicing themselves with a knife

They, who speak of equality made my Firefly feel dejected and lost and alone

DAMN THEM!

Her hates are my hates so damn them!

DAMN THEM STRAIGHT TO THE ABYSS!

But…

If I damn them, the people I was sent to protect…

Where will that leave me?

The Light was given a human body…

Would I damn her?

Even after all she has done for me?

Never

I shudder at the thought!

These humans…

So confusing

They shun one moment and comfort the next…

My Firefly is human

Would I damn her to the abyss?

No never…

They fear what they do not understand

When they look into her eyes they become frightened by what they see

Pools of violent deep as eternity

Her eyes

My eyes

Oh my eyes!

They brought fear when they looked upon the world!

Eyes that saw through simple barriers like flesh

Eyes that saw straight into the soul

Prehaps that is why she was teased

Why she was feared

Because she was special

Because she was me

I am no mere mortal who looks upon death with fear!

I EXAULT IN IT!

Mine eyes are dark hallways

Hallways that lead straight into the

very pits of what mortals call hell.

My beloved know this

Remember this

This

This is why they fear me

I am the light's dark side

I am the shadow the light casts

I am Grey

I stand between the candle and the star

I am Grey

I stand between the Shadow and the Light

I am the thing

The thing

The thing my beloved friends don't even want to admit exists

That is why they fear me

Becaus I am them

I am half order

Half chaos

Half life

Half death

Half light

Half darkness

Half good

Half evil

This is why they avoid my eyes

Eyes as dark as midnight and filled with a knowledge only a goddess could know

Only a

goddess could understand

Eyes that have seen sights

only a goddess could comprehend

Soul deeper then the deepest sea

And darker than the farthest reaches of space

The farthest reaches of this very COSMOS

My beloved call out to me

They do not want to die

But they should know

Death is not a thing to fear

How I crave death's embrace!

To finally say

"It is finished"

And sleep the eternal sleep and never awaken

But they love the life they live

What right have I to take it away?

My heart aches

Aches for them

But this is the only way to purify a world so badly shrouded in darkness

My voice is emotionless

Cold and still as a winter's lake

But below the surface lies a whirlpool of emotion as I struggle against the tears that I no longer have the

Strength to

cry

No longer have the will to cry

They all think I am cold and emotionless

How I wish that were true

Which is why I long for death all the more

I would never have to FEEL again

Never have to hurt again

Never have to cry again

To never be numb again

To just have that absence would be true peace

Peace

A word

A fairy tale

I wish I could believe in that fair tale

Just once more

My beloved believe in it

They think that peace will come

Someday

How I wish that were true

But now I shall save them from that pain and bring to them true peace

A peace they never really had to fight for

The peace of Death

I feel my life

My abominable

life being sucked out of me

It feels as if a great, puling leech has attached itself to my heart

I embrace that feeling

The feeling of death

The feeling of peace

I embrace death

For death is now my only companion

My beloved friends scream their pain

And pain envelopes my body as silken smooth and warm as a lovers embrace

Slowly I close my eyes to the chaos around me

I close my ears to the cries of my beloved as they writhe in the most ultimate and intimate of agonies

I close my mind to the knowledge of what I must now do

What I have already done

I close my heart to the pain of that knowledge

Knowledge that

My beloved friends

My beloved sisters are

friends no longer

Are sisters no longer

Because of what I am

Because of who I am

I am silence

I am shadow

I am death

I am peace

I am who and what

I am

I am what and who

I am

I am me

I am...

Just

I can no longer deny it

In a way it's a releif

A great burden has been lifted from my shoulders

I no longer have to deny that part of myself

I no longer

CAN deny that part of myself

The self that was once a feared and

worshipped and

revered goddess

I am one of the beautiful Warriors

Soldiers of the Light

Peace can at last fall upon me

For the sins of my many

Many lifetimes have at last been lifted

The sin of my birth and my life are being erased

As if I never existed

Just as I wanted

For if there is no one to remember me

Would they really forget?

The wind sings to me the soft lullaby of the stars as I at last fall into the deepest and most

blessed of slumbers

The screams of my beloved can no longer be heard

A releif and terrible

pity

Do they understand?

Do they comprehend what wonderous thing I have done?

I saved their souls.

I saved them

But they will never even know.

'The choice was mine

And mine completely

I could have any prize that I desired

I could burn with the passion of the brightest fire

Or else

I could choose time

Oh my daughter

Oh my son

Please understand what I have done"

Could you ever understand what I have done?

Pain

I can't breathe

Can't

Move

Can't

Think

This familiar crushing sensation in my chest

My mind becomes incoherent as my soul becomes pure

"Man, there is your mother

Woman, there is your son

I thirst

It is finished"

It is finished...

I can almost hear my soul laughing

It is a familiar sound

The sound my little firefly used to make when she was happy

Oh Hotaru.

I pray we meet again

Wait.

What am I saying?

Hotaru is me.

I am Hotaru

Two souls separated by death and chaos

Two sides of the same coin

Now we are one

Now we are one!

What a fool I have been!

Oh Hotaru

Hotaru

Forgive my foolishness

For you have never left my side

A light shines before me

What light is this?

Beautiful

Mabye now we can start over again

For is'nt that the way of the light?

Second chances (Third? Fourth? It has been so long I have lost count.)

But a small part of my heart shall forever remain sad

Because my beloved tried to turn away from the part of me which shall forever remain a part of themselves

A part that should always be remembered.

That bitterness shall always remain there

The bitterness that shall always be remembered

But I know that

The bitterness shall fade and become simply

bittersweet when I am at last returned into the arms of my beloved

I hope that my next life shall be a better and brighter one than my last

And when I at last peer into my mirror what shall my eyes see?

Whose

eyes shall at last meet mine?

Darker than midnight

Deeper than the sea

But

Now

They

Have

Forgotten

ME.