:AN: … I don't think I liked that last chapter… Sorry. It was poorly written. I thought The Lord of the Rings sound track would inspire me… But I was too concentrated on the music and a sudden urge to watch the Return of the King. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.
I love messing with Riku's character, he's so fun! Here's chapter six.
I hate editing so I'm winging it… I'm really sorry if it sucks. Tell me and I will have my editors on it pronto. I promise. But I want to write the next chapter because it's going to be fun . So it's not edited. Which is kind of scary. Maybe I should edit it. Or maybe I should just stop ranting and continue. Thanks for reading my author's note. If you're even reading this. Good day.
Sin's Remorse
Chapter six
A simple consciousness took over her as she opened her eyes, meeting a room so devoid of light that she wondered if she had mysteriously gone blind. An unfamiliar and strangely pleasant feeling ran through her as she laid in the darkness. It was bizarre. It was almost as if, perchance she found herself back in the familiar setting of her own room, she would not care or even take mind to the distant occurrences that continued to play out in her thoughts. If she moved to find it had only been a distinctly imagined dream, and that she was no longer in that darkened place in which she had found her friends, it would not burden her. Kairi thought about it in the darkness, pondering only whether she should try to get up. She decided, at least, that a piece of her wished desperately that it had been real. She longed only to find herself wrapped endlessly in Sora's arms, feeling the way he had made her feel so many times before; safe, unbreakable, simple… clean. A smile came to Kairi's lips, lacing her face with a graceful innocence that only one person could ever bring. She could imagine herself with him now, her stupid fantasies. She'd spend endless hours just playing old memories of him over and over again in her head. Though, the only thing it ever brought her was the painful reality of his absence.
Kairi furrowed her brow slightly as she reached a hand up to her forehead, wiping the long hair out of her eyes. She felt the deep gash on her face had been bandaged with something. She touched it curiously, stopping when the pain became unbearable. She tried to remember how she got it, but nothing seemed to fit. All she could recall was being with Riku on the beach and then just… darkness. Kairi trembled slightly as she recalled that feeling, so pure and sharp. It ran like blood through her, cold and evil. It tore at her heart; she could feel it still, like it paralyzed her. Kairi shook the feeling away and slowly sat up in the bed on which she lay, the heavy quilt slipping down her smooth nightgown. She tried to make something out, anything through the darkness, but she could see nothing.
A cold, heavy air seeped through the room, harsh against Kairi's tender skin. She felt nothing but a queer loneliness entangled within a bitter sense of doubt. There seemed to be emptiness… everything felt hollow. All she could hear was the sound of her own long, slow breaths.
Oddly enough, Kairi found a sudden and passionate longing for home… for something familiar. It couldn't have been a dream, she knew very well where she was. Well, in truth, she had no idea where she was. She did know, however, that she did not like this place. The awkward sense of unexplainable fear and unfamiliarity drained her of her content.
Kairi slowly moved herself over to the side of the bed, her feet finding the cold, hardwood floor. She silently questioned her own ability to walk, recalling her distant, yet previous attempt in the adjacent room. She sighed vaguely as she forced herself up onto her feet. She stumbled forward on impact, but found it refreshingly unchallenging to maintain her balance. She smiled lightly with a sense of self-satisfaction. She whipped her hair back and felt aimlessly for a wall, a hand, with which to guide her. She stumbled over, hitting what felt like a window draped in long, heavy curtains. She took the thick cloth in her hands and pulled them apart. A stream of deep blue moonlight washed in through the large glass pane, dimly illuminating the entire room with a slightly haunting glow. Kairi ran a hand down the smooth surface, feeling a bitter coldness seep through her fingertips. She stared out, her eyes seeing nothing but what seemed to be an endless night sky bleeding a sea of deep violets and foggy blacks through her fixed eyes. The starless horizon seemed to fill her with a feeling crying with sinful agony and imprisoned despair. She almost felt as if the sun could never rise in this forbidden place, would never. It concerned her.
"Kairi," came a cold and soft voice from behind her. She felt an instant sensation of utter bewilderment as sharp chills rose up her spin. She quickly whipped her body around, gasping silently at the unexpected person who stood before her. She stared up at him, not sure whether to be relieved to see a familiar face, or to be frightened because his face wasn't as familiar as she had wanted it to be. The man grinned lightly, short wisps of silver hair running before his dark eyes. He took a hand and lifted it up to the side of Kairi's pale face, running his fingers affectionately down her smooth skin. Kairi felt her heart rate quicken in a sense of confused fear.
"Riku…?" Kairi spoke frightfully. She trembled slightly at the unexpected contact as he touched her. He just grinned.
"Do I make you nervous, Kairi?" he questioned almost slyly. She didn't speak, just stood there, watching his unimaginable dark eyes as they gazed past her, almost as if they tore through her. Kairi bit her lip and looked away from him in shame. "I can feel you trembling," spoke Riku coldly as he began to run his hand through her long, auburn hair, washed in a shade of deep violet. He gently lowered his hand down to her chin. She closed her eyes and threw her view to the dark ground.
"Don't be ashamed," he whispered lightly as he drew her face forward. She closed her eyes even tighter and bit her lower lip forcefully. She heard him laugh softly as his hand ran her hair across her bare shoulder. Kairi quivered as his cold fingers caressed her smooth, exposed skin. She suddenly felt his hands around her waist and his lips gently pressed against hers. Kairi panicked and struggled against his powerful hold. She broke free after a few moments and fell back against the window, the glass sent a bitter chill down her spine and she cringed. Her heart beat painfully as an overwhelming surge of fear washed over her weak form.
Riku sighed deeply and ran both his hands up her silky, crimson nightgown. A satanic grin laced his face as Kairi eyed him with a sense of redundant anger and fierce terror. Fear pooled within her eyes as she stared up at his haunting expression. Kairi leaned back as far as the window would allow.
"Don't touch me," Kairi whispered as she trembled within his arms. She tried moving away, but his grip on her waist only grew tighter the more she struggled. Riku smiled and placed one hand upon Kairi's soft cheek.
"You seem so innocent, Kairi," he stated lightly as he ran his fingers beneath her chin. She tried to turn her head away, but he prevented her with his firm hold upon her jaw. He leaned his face in again, intensely massaging his lips against hers. Kairi closed her eyes so tight that it was painful. She struggled helplessly to escape his powerful hold, trying as hard as possible to keep her mouth closed. She couldn't stop him, it was a meaningless effort. Riku pulled away slowly after he felt her stop struggling. He pressed his entire body up against hers. She felt every fracture of her being tense as tears, forced from his unwanted actions, welled in her eyes.
"So innocent… but not to worry, Kairi, we'll change that," Riku assured in a whisper laced with a grin. Kairi felt herself jump slightly as his cold hands rose just below her chest.
"Please, Don-" Warm tears began to roll down her pink cheeks as Riku forced her into another deep and emotionless kiss. She didn't try to escape it, finding herself physically and mentally too weak. Her heart beat so fast that it made it difficult to breath, more difficult than it normally would have been in a situation such as this. She felt herself choke as a cold hand ran the strap of her nightgown down her arm. She felt herself fall back when Riku's body was suddenly ripped away. She slammed back against the window, her knees instantly giving out, and she felt herself sink to the cold, hardwood floor. Warm tears cascaded down her face like rain, her body shaking violently.
"Damn it Riku! What the hell do you think you're doing?" exclaimed an exceedingly angry voice from the moon washed darkness. Kairi watched as Sora held Riku forcefully by his wrists. Riku just grinned connivingly at Sora, an expression laced with guiltless pleasure spread over his face. "You stay away from her, or God damn it, Riku, I will kill you!" Sora hissed in a low whisper. He glared at the dark, silver-haired man with such forceful intensity that Kairi feared he was about to kill him.
"You're a fool, Sora. You know that, right?" Riku laughed. He pulled his hands out of Sora's grasp and grinned that wicked grin of his. "She can't stay like that for much longer, the darkness will overtake her," he spoke. Sora glared up at Riku with intended disgust. He just laughed. "Just like it did to you. It will drown her, Sora, one way or another. Better to have a faltered heart than a pure one in a place like this, huh?" Riku went on. "That's something you'd know a little bit about-"
"That's enough, Riku!" Sora demanded. He glared insatiably at Riku, death and hatred seething within his eyes. Riku smiled and gaily waved his fingers at him as a cloud of darkness engulfed his shady form, and then he was gone.
Sora took a deep breath and threw his gaze towards Kairi. He stared at her blankly and then motioned towards her. He held out a hand before her frightened face. Kairi hurriedly wiped the streams of tears from her cheeks. She grabbed his hand with a trembling motion and weakly wrapped her fingers around his. Sora slowly pulled her up, but her knees failed to lock and she fell forward into his arms. He supported her up and led her over to the bed, setting her down. He smiled lightly, letting it fade quickly as he sat down next to her.
"Wha- what's wrong with him?" Kairi questioned as she stared down at her trembling hands. She heard Sora sigh deeply. Kairi blinked, forcing more tears from her eyes.
"…This place is… It's a prison, Kairi," Sora began slowly. Kairi looked over at him timidly. "It slowly drains you of your innocence until you're nothing but a heartless shadow… once it starts, it can't stop. It sucks you in and, no matter what, you can't escape… You can't ever escape," he spoke in a hushed whisper. Kairi stared at him, seeing the gentle truth in his dull, moonlit eyes.
"It sucked him in, then… huh?" Kairi questioned in mild confusion.
"… It's overtaken him… Riku's completely gone," Sora spoke. He gazed at Kairi to see if she was in need of further explanation. Kairi opened her mouth to speak, thinking about what she was going to say.
"I saw him… on the beach, but… he seemed normal," she stated softly. Sora looked at her, somewhat confused at first, but then began to nod. He turned and faced the wall.
"Did he mention anything about a final request?" Sora asked in a gentle whisper. Kairi thought deeply and then began to nod. Her recollections of that instant were foggy, but she did remember that. Vague, but a memory nevertheless.
"Yeah… he told me that it was his final request to see me… And that he was dying, or something… That's all he said," spoke Kairi softly. She looked over at the open window, out at the dark night sky.
"It's kind of like… we get this final request, a last wish, before we… um… Well, before we 'die', essentially. Before we become completely devoid of every purely innocent emotion we know," a funny look surfaced upon Sora's face. He turned and gazed at Kairi. "Do you get it?" Kairi bit her lip.
"Kind of… But why didn't he look like he does now?" she questioned lightly. Sora nodded slowly.
"Every day you're here, a little more 'good' is taken from you, right? It's taken in such small amounts that it's impossible to tell overnight, you know? But over time you start to change… like your attitude and psychology and stuff. But the change is so gradual that you don't even realize it." Sora looked over at her with a reflective look on his face. She nodded slowly.
"So when you do that last request you turn back onto, like… good?" Kairi questioned, pondering her phrasing. Sora laughed lightly at her choice of words.
"Um… Yeah, kind of. There was something 'different' about him, though… am I right?" he asked in return. Kairi thought about it for a moment and then nodded.
"Yeah… His eyes. They were darker… faded," Kairi answered in a depressed whisper, recalling their conversation during the sunset. She watched Sora as he frowned and nodded.
"Yeah… Um… You saw them just now, right?" Sora asked as he stared down. Kairi shuddered lightly as she recalled the memory of his deeper than black eyes as he looked over her. Kairi closed her eyes and nodded. "He's completely blind to light now. He can only see in complete darkness. He can't live in any light much brighter than that of a candle," Sora explained in a low voice. Kairi sat still for a few minutes, not fully taking in the reality of the conversation. It all seemed so surreal. "That's why he was wearing that blindfold the other night… His eyes can't handle it."
"C-can he see me?" Kairi questioned lightly. She looked over at Sora and he began to shake his head.
"He can only see darkness now… he can sense you though. It's strange," Sora replied lightly. Kairi frowned and drew her eyebrows together as she stared, again, at the moonlit floor.
It's hard, sometimes, to fully understand something that's just so unimaginably unpredictable such as this. Kairi's mind was trying to accept the fact of reality that she was back with her friends, back with Sora, at least. She found it difficult to believe that Riku had turned into a heartless shadow. Sora was still good though, she was still good.
"What about you, Sora?" Kairi questioned softly after a few minutes of silence. Sora looked at her blankly.
"I just… I got here two years after Riku did," he spoke gently. Kairi nodded slowly. She thought hard about something and recalled a conversation from the previous night.
"Wha-um… What did Riku mean but it being too late for me?" Kairi asked.
"You've seen the darkness," Sora replied monotonously. Kairi furrowed her brow in confusion. Sora saw this and tried to explain. "Um… Do you remember how you got here?" Sora asked. Kairi shook her head softly and then bit her lip. After a few moments of silence a recollection of memories came flooding back to her.
"He told me not to open my eyes, but I did… and I let go of his hand," Kairi spoke in sudden realization. "It was like I was drowning… In a sea of anguish… like this big, black mass had engulfed me externally and internally… I couldn't breath, I couldn't think- ouch!" Kairi drew her hand up toward her forehead where Sora had touched her deep cut.
"And then you blanked out… and that's how you got this," he finished for her. Kairi nodded slowly as she drew her hand away. They sat in another strange silence. Suddenly Sora looked over at Kairi and gave her the saddest look she had ever seen. She questioned his stare with her own as he bit his lip and gazed at her with his blue-gray eyes, a look of nothing but pure anguish laced his face. "I-I'm sorry, Kairi…" he spoke softly as he looked down. "I've already put you through enough… But now you're here and it's all my fault," Kairi stared up at him, taking in all that he had been through, four years of hell a thousand times greater than her own. And suddenly she felt very guilty, for she had never even considered anything but her own self-induced sorrows. Kairi hesitantly took him in her arms, placing his head upon her shoulder.
"Damn it, Kairi, it's not fair for you to have to go through this…" Sora exclaimed, drowning in his agony.
"You'll be here… Right?" Kairi questioned softly.
"I won't be myself… God, look at me, Kairi! Look at me and tell me honestly that you know who this is!" he exclaimed as he stood up before her. Kairi studied him, his taller frame, his darker eyes, his darker hair… he wasn't smiling. Kairi choked slightly. He was right… she did not know him, not like this, and it frightened her to such a point where it hurt. She didn't want this; she wanted Sora… old Sora, clean and simple. She felt a tear stream down her face and she had to look away. Sora sighed and sat back down next to her, taking her weary body in his arms, gently resting her head on his shoulder. Kairi choked back another sob.
"I don't care… I-I just want to be with you, Sora… Even if it means giving away my soul. All I… ever wanted was to be with you… my one selfish wish," Kairi spoke gently as she closed her eyes and let Sora gently rock her into another depressed sleep.