I Was Burnt By Your Light

"So," Spike said to Buffy, who was lying on their bed, after an incredibly stressful supper that night, he was towelling off his hair, and trying to think of a nice way to tell her that he'd punched a dent in the shower wall by accident (he'd meant to punch through it).

"So."

"This hasn't been the best evening for us, has it?"

"No, but thanks for sticking around. Though we could all have done without that 'demon in the sack' comment."

"Would you have preferred I told him you were attracted to me because you had just died and were running a little low on judgement at the time? Because I could have done that, love."

"That's true, as far as it goes."

"As far as it goes? How far does it go, exactly?"

"It's not considered polite to make sexual innuendos to your future father-in-law."

"You know the word innuendo?" Spike cocked his head at her, he loved the Slayer, but she could always be trusted to stick with the two-syllable easy-vocabulary words.

"I resent that! I am intellectual modern woman with half a college degree who can stake your undead ass!" She said to him as he sat on the edge of the bed beside her and appraised her red silk full-length teddy that left very, very little to the imagination.

"Sure you are, love, sure you are. And you're all mine," he smiled at her, "you mentioned something about screwing me into the mattress earlier?"

"I want to give you your gift first," she looked him in the eye, "well, it's more like two gifts, and one of them is from Willow, but she wanted to let me tell you and..." she trailed off as he brought a finger to her lips. "Tell me if you don't want it because I don't need it I just... sometimes I..." She sighed. "I'm going to start this right. I love you more than anything on this earth and I always will. Sometimes it feels like I always have. I can't imagine my world without you," Spike opened his mouth to speak, she mirrored his gesture of a few moments earlier and put a finger to his full lips, "no, I'm only going to be able to say this once, and I've only just got the nerve to do that. So shut the hell up for once and let me explain.

"So, as I was saying, I love you. You make me happy, you have made me sad, you've made me cry far too many times, and when it all comes down to it, you make me feel. You're there to catch me when I fall and I will always trust you with my life, no matter what. Which is why I want to give you the first thing. Because I trust you, which is something I can say about very few people- the people who live in this house, Xander, maybe a few of the other Slayers. But, as for the point, I want you to bite me." Spike opened his mouth to protest, even if he wanted it just as much as she did, he wouldn't hurt her like that, and he couldn't let her do something like that for him. He didn't deserve it. "No. No speaking, I'm not done. And, just because I know you're going to say it and I want it the hell out of the way, you do deserve it, it won't hurt and I want to do it. Earth doesn't revolve around your head, you know." He grinned, there was his Slayer. "Bright enough." She grumbled, then she looked back into his blue eyes and took a deep breath.

"I don't want you to get mad when I tell you this," she said finally, "and I'm not making any promises when I tell you. It's just a... possibility, I guess, a little one. OK, well, maybe little, maybe not, it needs a lot more prepping than I wanted Willow to do without telling you about it first." She looked at him, "maybe I shouldn't even tell you... not tonight. Some other night, a long time from now, when we've had to fight something really big and you're too tired to yell at me and maybe punch me and possibly walk out that door and never come back..." Spike lost it and interrupted her.

"And you're never going to know if you don't tell me, sweetness. And we're remembering that every time I walk out the door I'm coming back," He finally lay down beside her, "how can I make it easier for you to tell me whatever this is?" He asked, knowing it was making her uncomfortable, and worried that it was something terrible or that it was something amazing at the same time. He didn't know how much more happiness he could quite take, and he was still a bit stuck on the 'bite me' bit.

"Close your eyes," she said finally, "roll over and pretend not to be here. I've practiced this so many times since Will told me and now I can't say anything because I'm afraid I might hurt you."

"Why do you think this might hurt me."

"You're still here," Buffy pointed out, slightly angry. If he was going to offer to make it easier and then not do it he could just not know. Oh dear God, he was rubbing off on her.

"Fine, I could always actually leave, you know, pet. Write it down, whatever it is, might be easier for you."

"You know I'm worse at writing than I am at speaking," she said, "and it's not as if this is a bad thing, well, not for me, in fact, for me, it's a really good thing. But I don't know, if you take this the wrong way... It could ruin our whole- us. So, remember, this isn't me saying I want to be with someone else, or I want you to change, I love you, just as you are. I only want you. I'm yours, completely, entirely. Alright?"

"Of course I know that, my love. I know that, I would never doubt it. If whatever this is will make you happy- I'll support it one hundred percent, you know that, too." Spike pulled her to his chest, placing a quick kiss on the top of her head.

"It would make me happy, but I want you to want it, too."

"Love, tell me."

"I didn't ask, but Will caught me taking birth control pills and asked me why I bothered anymore. And it was about two weeks ago, that night I had just a little bit too much to drink, and I'd just hit the crying stage, I guess.

I just, broke down about how I had always thought that if I lived to be this old, I'd have the 2.5 kids and the white picket fence. And Willow said she didn't think any of you would let me actually get a white picket fence because we have too many pointy wooden objects in this house already, but I could still have the kids, if I wanted. Not helping much, because we've talked about this- sperm donation would probably do you in, and you don't technically exist so adoption's out of the question, and I told Will that, but she just made one of those little 'humour the dumb Slayer' noises. I still don't really get it, but apparently, it has something to do with the fact that everything is connected- so when someone dies, even when someone gets vamped they leave a bit of themselves imprinted on the earth. And, with some major Willow mojo, we could turn that imprint-y thing into a... a kid. Our kid." She paused and looked at him, he was looking at her, amazed, almost reverent. Finally. He pulled her over to him and kissed her softly.

"I love you so much, Buffy," he murmured when he had finally pulled away. "Of course I want that, too, Slayer. I want to have children- other than Andrew, of course- filling up this big house. But I'm worried that I won't be able to do as much as you will. And testing?"

"Not on you. On me. The whole death thing could have made it so I can't..." she trailed off and he wrapped his arms tighter around her, "but we don't know yet. Will's just going to do a bit of Wicca stuff to find out. Pretty standard I think."

"Won't hurt you, will it, pet?" Spike asked, creasing his eyebrows.

"You're sweet, you know that?" Buffy grinned at him, "I don't think I tell you that enough. So, you're all set to deal with moody, pregnant Buffy?"

"Somehow, I think it's going to be worth it," Spike murmured, kissing her again, along from her lips up to her ear, taking the lobe between his teeth for a few seconds before whispering into it. "Thank you."

Spike kissed his way back up her neck, finally coming to rest at her jugular, kissing it, tentatively biting down with blunt teeth, teasing her endlessly. Finally he vamped and she pulled him up, his face still ridged, to kiss him, running her hands delicately over his forehead and kissing the ridges as well, finally, wordlessly, she led him back to her neck. He sunk his teeth in, silently, still, pulling her blood slightly, marking her as his, biting just above the scars from the Master, Angel and Dracula, obliterating them and leaving his own markings on her at the same time. He didn't take much of her blood, he had promised never to hurt her again and he wouldn't. This was about making her his, not about drinking her blood. He slowly sealed the wound with his tongue and came to her lips, letting her taste herself on him, flowing through him.

It was the most wonderful thing she'd ever tasted, her taste mixed so deeply with his, she'd never really tasted blood on his lips before, he'd taken to mixing it with beer, or coffee, trying, she thought, to hide from her. If he did drink it straight she insisted he brush his teeth before kissing her, but now... this was heaven. It occurred to her that she'd never really tasted her own blood before, when she'd been losing her teeth she'd always washed it out quickly, never thought to stop and wonder if it even had taste... and learning that, mixed with the mix of tobacco, beer and just plain Spike that she knew so well, it was one of the most wonderful tastes in the world.

He slid the teddy off of her, pulling away to look at her, she never failed to amaze him, and finally switched off the bedroom light, leaning over her. His girl. His Chosen One.

Buffy's eyes opened lazily the next morning, she could faintly hear the noises of breakfast coming from the kitchen, but she wasn't at all interested in leaving the cool circle of Spike's arms, her head rested on his bare chest. She tried to move slightly, to get more comfortable, and felt a bandage on her neck move slightly- he must have put that on after she'd fallen asleep, she smiled faintly and curled more tightly into his embrace, raising a hand to trace the outline of the bandage, and the outline of the familiar scar on her neck. She smiled, feeling where he'd bit her- Spike was nothing if not possessive, and just the look on Angel's face if he ever noticed it would make his century, she knew that. Buffy's face broke into a smile at that thought for some reason.

"I love you," she said reaching up to push some of his curls from his forehead.

"Love you, too, pet," Spike replied, not opening his eyes.

"Thought you were asleep?"

"I was," he replied, pulling her up for quick kiss. "Reckon we should go and face the lions?"

"I never really want to get out of this bed," she replied, her forehead still resting against his. "Really, what else do I need?"

"There's slaying, can't do that in here," he said.

"There are much more entertaining things to do with vampires," she teased him. He quickly changed their positions, so he had her wrists caught up above her head and was straddling her.

"Vampires in general?"

"Ensouled ones," she amended, he cleared his throat and glared. "You," she conceded finally, "only you."

"Knew Brood-Boy wasn't' good in the sack," he said after pulling back from a quick rough kiss. "But we've still got to get out of bed, deal with Papa Summers, play a bit of kick-the-annoying-manboy, maybe talk to Red?" He said the last part almost shyly.

"Maybe. And I've got wedding planning to do!" Buffy said suddenly, sitting up and pushing him off her. "Do you want a spring wedding or a winter one? I guess it doesn't really matter because we'll have to have it at night to avoid having to register and Mr and Mrs Big-Pile-of-Dust but still... I don't want a summer wedding because we'd have to wait a whole year and I don't want to do that because I'm not getting any younger. But English winter is so depressing and Xander hates rain so he might not be able to fly down to walk me down the aisle. And who are you going to have as your best man? I mean it's either Andrew or Clem, you don't really have friends outside the Scoobies and we're all girls, except Xander... Plus I don't think he really likes you so much. So friends isn't exactly the term I'd use, mutual enemies who love me enough not to kill each other. I think. And where is Clem, anyway? I mean, when was the last time you two talked and-" Spike cut her off by placing a hand very firmly over her mouth.

"Whatever you want, pet, as long as I get to stick with black and Wind Beneath My Wings is in no way involved. It'll be your day. Now hush," he smiled as she made an attempt to bite his hand just before he lifted it. "Shower." He commanded, directing the Slayer with a pointed finger. "Now. It'll calm you down." He gave her a slight push off the bed and she went, still smiling faintly.

God, it was good to make her happy.

Buffy had pulled her hair back into a ponytail and dawned sweatpants and sweatshirt to go outside the confines of their bedroom later that morning. The voices from the kitchen had stopped half an hour ago, and she could only assume that Dawn had gone to school, Willow to work (she tracked Slayers worldwide for the Council, there were still hundreds to find), Andrew to go reign over all the other nerds, or whatever it was that he did all day out of the house and Spike and Hank had stalked off to respective corners of the house to shoot glares in each other's general directions occasionally. As she slid out she found her father still sitting at the breakfast table, typing furiously and talking on his cellphone.

"I'm with my daughters... no... their mother passed on... we were divorced... twenty five and nineteen... big house, no clue... not particularly... I understand... no, we shouldn't do that... well, yes, but Marcus is an idiot... I know he blew that wide open but this is too... of course I used that... it's not tax evasion, Roland... in a way... it's simple... expert hackers... noon," he clicked the headset off. "Morning, sweetheart," he said, "sleep well?"

"Very," she smiled, "do you have meetings today?"

"Yes, yes, I do, but not for another couple of hours. Why?"

"I was just wondering," Buffy lied smoothly, knowing she had a date with Dina and a punching bag that would be a bit difficult to explain, especially since she'd been planning on sparring with Spike to get warmed up and that always got out of hand. "I think I'll be staying home for the day, Dee too, she's taking a year off school," she lied again, Spike was home-schooling her, Dee having been expelled from her school for getting into a fight on school grounds. "And Spike never goes out during the day. He's allergic to sunlight. Gets all crispy real fast."

"Really? That must be terrible for him, "Hank said, Buffy could tell her wasn't really interested.

"It is," she replied, "have you-" Buffy was interrupted when something incredibly large and blue crashed through the kitchen window. Buffy reacted instinctively, pushing her father away from the table at the same time as she through a kick and yelled. "SPIKE! KITCHEN! DEMON!"

Spike was up the stairs a few short seconds later, tossing the knife he kept in his boot to the fighting Slayer from the safe shadows of the stairwell to the basement. She caught it with ease.

"Dormenghast Demon, love, stab it in the forehead, shape of a cross if you can, you'll do better that way- it's likely to die the first time."

"Good- it'll just take a minute. Get my dad out of here. Send Dee down. Oh, and who'd you piss off this time? Aren't these things normally paid hunters?" She said, unleashing a quick series of punches to distract it from her wrists motions towards it's forehead, it wasn't fooled and caught her hand with one long-clawed clammy hand, slicing down her forearm but luckily missing any important arteries. "Shit- this was a new shirt," she said as blood poured out onto her arm, "you are so paying for that. Oh- and Spike?" She called after the vampire who was know ushering a very shell-shocked Hank out of the kitchen and calling up to Dina, "try to explain the Slayer thing before I'm done. You know how that one goes." Buffy quickly took an opening and was straddling the demon with her knife going quickly through the cross sections on its forehead. "Make it quick!"

Spike shot a quick look back at the girl to see that she was handling herself before taking Hank into the living room. This was going to be interesting. And Buffy was going to have a fit when the thing dissolved into a sticky goo on the floor.

"Love?" Spike knocked on the bathroom door, after having left Hank in the living room to stew for a while before he had to break the news to him. Besides, he'd been worried about the cut on Buffy's arm- she'd lost blood that night and the cut had been deeper than he would have liked.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?" He asked, he knew she valued the fact that her father still thought of her as a normal girl, thought that maybe it created some of the closeness between them, even. What there was of it, anyway.

"Sure. Why'd you even ask?"

"I do have manners, you know," Spike entered the bathroom, quickly walking over and taking her forearm in his hand. "This needs disinfection, pet. I'll do it."

"That's going to hurt more than the demon slicing me open," she complained, "I'm fine. I'm a Slayer. Leave it be."

"Fine, when your arm turns green and falls off, don't expect any sympathy from me," Spike said, getting out the rubbing alcohol and a few cotton balls. "Now stand still, love. And no whining."

"I may yet drop another piano on your head," she grumbled as he set to cleaning the ten-inch cut. "That hurts, Spike!"

"Like I said, now sympathy. So, what're we telling dear old dad?" Spike knew that there were things they'd all prefer to keep from him, like what his younger daughter really was, and probably the fact that Buffy had died twice.

"Not Dawn," Buffy said finally, "but what you are, obviously. If you go all bumpy it'll at least make him think I'm not insane. And I suppose we can tell him who Dee really is, but I don't want to dish on Will without her permission."

"Keep Red out of it then," he said.

"Yes, and we can tell him how we met, but maybe no specifics. And I have I mentioned ow lately?" She grimaced for affect.

"Couple times, love, yes. Now relax, worse things have happened to you." He pulled a few bandages out and set them over the wound. "I won't close it, it should be gone come morning. But no ripping it open until then. You lose any more blood and you'll go all woozy." He smiled and at her and pressed quick kiss to the top of the bandages as he finished putting them on. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."