A/N: To any of you who were wondering last chapter, no, Freddy had not been there bleeding for an hour or so. Zack was gone for an hour, but that doesn't necessarily mean Freddy slit his wrists immediately after Zack left. Cause yeah, slowly bleeding to death for an hour and a half (this chapter adds another half hour) is a bit much. I never really intended it to be that way, but I can see how people took it that way. Yeah.
Yeah, I hope you all like this chapter, cause it was extremely hard to write. I've never actually tried to kill myself, but I've had a lot of depression issues in the past with cutting and shit and I'm still getting over them, and my parents found out last year and it was really really fucking hard. My dad cried…..terrible. Just terrible. So this one took a while cause I nearly cried a few times writing it. Which makes me a pathetic mental case, I know, but Jason made me think of my dad and my dad crying makes me cry. My dad doesn't cry. Blah. Sorry. Don't mean to get so emotional. Just wanted to apologize for the delay and I really sincerely hope you like it, cause yeah…..it was really fucking hard to write.
DISCLAIMER: School of Rock belongs to Mike White and Jack Black and all those other cool people. Does anyone else think it's odd that they're named White and Black? Maybe that's just me. The actors belong to themselves. The characters belong to all those fine people I mentioned previously. The quote "Oh, well good, I'm glad you are!" belongs to Stanley Tucci and the other fine people who worked on The Imposters (and if you haven't ever seen that movie, DO SO. Fucking hilarious.). I just borrowed it without meaning to and then realized it sounded awfully familiar. It didn't take me long to figure out where I'd heard it, but I had to use it. If you see the movie and hear the way that line is said, it's totally perfect Zack.
CLAIMER: Uncle David. I gave Freddy an Uncle David for two reasons. First, I have an Uncle David and he is THE hoopiest frood ever. For those of you who do not know The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, that is THE highest compliment anyone can give. Cause David is the sassiest person ever, and where I get my wunderbar and fucked up sense of humor. The second reason for Freddy having an Uncle David is that someone and I (I think it was Rachel, Quillow here at ) used to say that EVERYONE had an Uncle David. I think Kaitlin was in on that, too. But yeah, most people I know have an Uncle David. So hey, if you have one, put it in the review, k? It'll be cool to see who else has one.
NOTES: At one point, Zack mentions a three hour drive. No, the hospital is not three hours from their home, obviously, cause the ambulance reached them in like, five minutes in the last chapter. They live about five to ten minutes from the hospital, but Zack just uses the three hour drive phrase as another silly excuse. You'll see what I mean, I hope, but I wanted to clear it up just in case.
This is the longest chapter yet, coming in at a whopping 38 pages in Microsoft. Woot! Be excited! Yeah, I got a bit carried away, but this is just one of those chapters that can't really be cut off. So it's all one big long thing and I hope you enjoy it! tosses cookie sticks to the nice readers Does anyone remember cookie sticks? Made by Keebler for a short time, came in chocolate chip, peanut butter and sugar cookie flavors? Oh, MAN, those sugar cookies were the BEST! I have memories of eating them and having my dog Auggie crawling all over me like "GIVE ME THE FUCKING COOKIE STICK!" and I'm like "FUCK NO! MINE!" Ahem. Not that any of you either needed or wanted to know that. Yeah. I'll shut up now.
DEDICATION: To Mystik-chan, who left the greatest/craziest review. Woot for you! You seemed quite into the last chappie and in finding out what happens next, plus your review made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. So this one's for you.
SHOUTOUTS: To Mark of CTown- I will endeavor to read your fic as soon as possible. Sorry, sorry, I have been so completely remiss in my fanfic reading duties lately. I've been so busy that any free time I have goes to writing fanfic. Honestly, between schoolwork and my job, I really have no life. Writing is the only thing I've been doing for myself lately. I haven't even been watching MOVIES, and if you know me, you know that's scary. I haven't been to the movies since August. Live in fear! The apocalypse IS coming! But yeah, I'll read it soon, I swear.
GaBoO- yeah, Freddy and Draco do look kinda alike, hehe. Glad you think so, too. And I'm extremely flattered that you read my ficlet without having seen the movie! Though see it you must, for it is truly wunderbar!
And of course also to SweetTweet00, driven to insanity, blondehottness, Chinsky, and my dahhhhling PFB. I'd write out individual messages to all of you, but this is getting to be a ridiculously long note. You will all most definitely be top of the list next time…..cept possibly PFB. Cause she already knows I love her. Teasing, Carrie, just teasing!
And now, without any further ridiculous ado…..on to the
FICLET!
Zack sat uncomfortably in the waiting room, back stiff and rigid as he waited for a doctor to make an appearance on the scene. Freddy had been rushed into the back and Zack was apparently dirty, too dirty to enter the sterilized room. His leg jiggled as he bounced his foot up and down anxiously. The doctor had told him that as soon as Freddy was stabilized, Zack could go back and see him. So far, he hadn't seen another glimpse of the doctor. He checked his watch again. Thirty-six minutes. Thirty-six minutes the man had been gone. Zack was beginning to panic.
The doors pushed open and Zack was on his feet in an instant, walking over to the doctor slowly, dreading hearing the final answer on the question that could either make or destroy his life. He stopped a foot or so away. "……well?" he asked, barely forming the words, voice just above a whisper. "How is he?"
The doctor smiled. "Your friend is just fine."
Zack let out a huge breath that he hadn't realized he was holding, and his knees buckled beneath him, dropping him unceremoniously to the floor. He sat there silently, feeling his heart slowly returning to its normal routine instead of pounding through his chest like it had been since he found Freddy earlier that day. The doctor crouched down in front of him and Zack looked up with wide, disoriented eyes.
"…are you okay?" the man asked. Zack nodded slowly, tiredly. "Would you like to go in and see him?"
Zack's eyes welled up with tears and he nodded again. Two tears escaped and slid slowly down his face. The man smiled sympathetically.
"Don't worry…he'll be fine." His eyes widened in surprise as he suddenly found his arms full of quietly crying Zack.
"Thank you," Zack whispered, able to speak at last.
"Don't mention it," the doctor replied. Zack released his tight grip and rubbed at the tears in his eyes. "He's asleep," the man continued, "but he should wake up soon. You can still see him, if you want."
"Yes," Zack said, letting the word out in a sigh. "Yes."
"Right this way." The man lead Zack down several curving hallways and then stepped into a room, pushing the curtain aside to reveal Freddy, sound asleep with the covers pulled up to his chest. His hair was a mess, bits of it stiff with dried blood, but all blood had been wiped from his skin. Eyes shut, lashes tracing patterns on his pale skin, cheeks just slightly tinged pink, Freddy had a very angelic look about him…until one saw the thick bandages around his wrists. Zack took a deep breath, then walked over to the bed and sat down in the chair next to it, eyes never leaving Freddy's face.
"You just going to stay here until he's up?" the doctor asked. Zack nodded.
"If that's alright…?"
"Oh, yes. Definitely." The man smiled. "I'll leave you two alone." Backing up, he pulled the curtain shut again, but not before he saw Zack gently take one of Freddy's hands in his and, leaning forwards, press a soft kiss to Freddy's cheek. The man smiled a small, touched sort of smile before pulling the curtain shut and leaving.
An hour later, Zack was still sitting there, staring at Freddy's sleeping form, the blonde's hand in his own. He wanted Freddy to wake up, but he also didn't…when the blonde woke up it meant he had to try to convince Freddy to forgive him for everything that had happened…and he didn't want to. Not at all. He was so completely terrified that Freddy wouldn't be able to do it.
A bit of movement to his left, and Zack nearly jumped. It was Freddy, turning a bit, a small moan escaping his lips. Zack waited with baited breath as slowly, Freddy opened his eyes halfway.
"….Zack?"
"Yes, it's me, Freddy."
"…..what're you doing?"
"Waiting for you to wake up."
"…..how long have I been asleep?"
"…about two hours."
"Really?" Freddy sounded surprised, even though he could barely speak above a whisper. He looked around suddenly, brow furrowing in confusion. "…where am I?"
"……………………………………the hospital."
"What?!" There was a pause and then, "…oh yeah." Freddy glanced at his wrists, then reproachfully up at Zack. "Why did you stop me?"
Zack took a deep breath. "I don't want you to die, Freddy….I want you to stay here with me."
"Why?"
"……..I meant what I said, earlier, Freddy, I don't know if you remember it. I love you." There was a pause; Zack couldn't meet Freddy's gaze. Instead he played idly with the bedspread. "I think I always have. And I was an asshole; I know I was an asshole. I can't even begin to express to you how ridiculously sorry I am for all the shitty things I said to you after you told me about…about…" he didn't want to say the words so he just pressed right on. "It shouldn't have mattered, because it doesn't, it doesn't matter. All that matters is you…and I love you. I came back to apologize and I saw you…and the blood….and…I knew then that…it was my fault, it was all my fault. And that if you died…there would be no kind of life left for me with you gone."
Freddy stared at Zack, no real expression on his face, just watching the brunette very seriously. Zack pressed hurriedly on.
"And I don't know that you can forgive me, Freddy, but I just want you to know that I mean it, I mean every word of it. And I don't blame you if you can't forgive me, really I don't, cause I was a total ass and I deserve to have you hate me, but I had to say I'm sorry. And I'm sorry if you're mad at me for bringing you here, but I had to do that too, because I love you. And I don't think I could cope if you died."
Zack looked up at Freddy, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I love you," he managed, the words coming out in a harsh sob. "I love you, Freddy."
Freddy stared at Zack for a moment, and then something like a smile flitted across his lips. "Where have you been all my life, loser?" he whispered. A disbelieving smile spread quickly across Zack's face and then he was on the bed, half in Freddy's lap as he sobbed gratefully against Freddy's shoulder.
"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry," he sobbed.
"Don't be, Zack…don't be," Freddy said softly, fingers running soothingly through Zack's hair. "It's not your fault. This was a long time in coming"
Zack looked up at Freddy with wide, tear-filled eyes. "Why?" he asked, voice very confused. "Why would you ever want to do this to yourself?"
"……I don't know," Freddy said uncomfortably. "I've never really known. I've actually always felt kind of bad for feeling like this…for being so depressed. I mean, there are so many other people who have such better reasons for being depressed. I have both my parents…they love me and I love them. They don't beat me. I don't do terribly in school and I'm fairly popular."
"Popular?" Zack echoed, one eyebrow arched. "Freddy, every kid in school wants to be you or fuck you…or both."
"…at once?" Freddy asked teasingly.
Zack laughed. "Maybe."
"Hmm…" Freddy mused. "I think that would be considered masturbation." Zack laughed again, sliding a bit closer to Freddy, and there was a long pause before Freddy continued. "I mean…you see what I mean? There are so many people who have it worse than me…what right do I have to be depressed?"
"Freddy, you have every right," Zack said softly. "Some people are just depressed for no real reason. They can't help it."
A long pause. "…why do you think that is?" Freddy's soft voice seemed loud in the silent room.
"…I don't know," Zack said. "I think a lot of the time it's because these people are just too unique and amazing for the rest of us. They are far more extraordinary than the everyday people on this earth, so they require extraordinary lives…and when they only get boring, normal, everyday lives…they feel that longing for something more…and they just don't know what to do about it. They feel trapped, so they deal with it in the only ways they can think of, even though they're often not good ways."
Freddy was silent for a long time. "…are you calling me extraordinary?" he asked at last.
"………Freddy, you are the most extraordinary person I have every met," Zack said, flushing slightly as he said it. "You're just plain amazing." Looking at Freddy, Zack was surprised to see the usually unflusterable Freddy Jones was turning rather pink just across the bridge of his nose. "Why, Frederick Jones!" he exclaimed. "Are you blushing?"
"Most certainly not," Freddy muttered, his evasion just making him blush even more. "And that's not true. You're the really amazing one. You have it so much worse than me. Your dad is always in a pissy mood and your mom is never there. You have to do all the cooking and the cleaning and you never complain…well, rarely complain. You're a fucking genius, Zack, and you still have time to help me out despite all your work. Honestly…if anyone's extraordinary, its you."
"Whatever, Jones, you're so totally wrong." Zack glanced up at Freddy, serious look on his face not quite able to hide the loving smile written in his eyes. "I love you," he whispered. Freddy smiled.
"I love you too."
Zack swatted Freddy's shoulder gently. "Don't you ever scare me like that again, you hear?"
Freddy kissed Zack, a slow, lingering, reassuring kiss. "I won't ever need to," he said softly. "As long as I have you, I have everything."
Zack's eyes were still filled with tears, but they were no longer tears of sadness. He kissed Freddy again, and the doctor walked into the room. Stopping in the doorway, he shuffled his feet and coughed. Zack jumped about a foot; Freddy laughed.
"I see you're awake," the man said, smile on his face. "How do you feel?"
"Eh…not too bad," Freddy said, taking Zack's hand. The brunette was currently the color of a tomato.
"Not too much pain?"
"Um…." Freddy lifted his free hand and wiggled his wrist about, promptly wincing. "OW, uh, that'd be a yes, I think."
"Okay…I'll have them send you in some painkillers when they bring your food, alright?"
"Okay, thanks."
Turning to go, the doctor smiled at the still red Zack. "Try not to tire him out," he said teasingly. Zack blushed even more, if that was possible, and stammered some gibberish at the man, who chuckled and left. Freddy immediately began giggling.
"Dork."
"I am not."
"Are too." Freddy grabbed Zack's collar, dragging the brunette down to lie next to him again. "He's gone…chill."
Zack relaxed, his body pressing against Freddy's. Freddy laid his head on Zack's shoulder and pressed a kiss to the brunette's cheek. "Sleep," he said. Both boys were fast asleep within a few minutes.
A nurse entered bearing a tray full of food, a small cup of pills on one side. Seeing the two boys curled up together, she smiled, pausing to watch them for a moment before setting the tray down on the side table and leaving.
The two boys slept on, completely oblivious to all the hustle and bustle of the doctors and patients in the corridors. Nearly an hour later, the sound of rapid footsteps echoed down the hallway and the curtain was shoved aside, revealing Freddy's parents, looking incredibly flustered. Eileen was still crying, her hair a tousled mess, and Jason looked as though he had just barely gotten his own tears under control. They froze in place when they saw Freddy and Zack in bed together, bodies curled close together, fingers entwined. Eileen turned slowly, and looked at Jason, eyes only slightly surprised.
"Are they….do you think they're….?" She didn't finish the question, but it was obvious what she meant.
"No," he said automatically. "No, they…." He paused, staring at the two boys. "They very well could be," he said at last.
Eileen walked over to where Jason was now standing over the two sleeping boys. "Are you…okay with that?"
There was a long pause and then Jason sighed. "Yes," he said finally. "Yes, I am. I wouldn't have thought I would be…but…I am. Especially if it's Zack." Staring down at the boys, he gently brushed a lock of hair out of Freddy's eyes. A fluttering of eyelids and then big brown eyes slid halfway open.
"…dad?"
Seeing Freddy awake, Jason's eyes started tearing up again and he coughed to clear his throat. "Yes, it's me."
"…mom?"
"Yes." Unlike her husband, Eileen couldn't suppress the tears at all. Freddy smiled weakly up at them.
"…I love you guys."
Eileen sank into the chair Zack had previously occupied, sobbing freely now. Freddy took her hand, his own eyes welling up. "Don't cry, mom, please." Of course that didn't help any. Before either was quite aware of it, both were crying freely, Eileen holding Freddy's free hand tightly between her flat, shaking palms, forehead to the place where their hands met as she wept. Freddy wanted to comfort her somehow and softly gently tugged his other hand out of Zack's grasp so he could run his fingers soothingly through her soft blonde hair. Fortunately, this seemed to calm Eileen down somewhat, for she lifted her head and smiled shakily at Freddy with tears still in her eyes. Unfortunately all the commotion finally woke Zack.
The brunette shifted slightly, a tiny moan escaping his lips. Freddy glanced over, unable to suppress the affectionate smile that flew onto his lips, a smile which did not go unnoticed by either parent. Reaching out, he tousled Zack's already messy bangs. Slowly, Zack's eyes slid slightly open and he smiled at Freddy, a contented sort of sound escaping as he stretched, arms up over his head. Then he noticed Freddy's parents and was sitting up in less than two seconds, wide awake now as he stared in shock. There was a long moment's silence as all four people stared at each other. Eileen and Jason stared at Zack, who stared right back, trying hard not to blush and knowing he was bright red. Freddy kept looking back and forth between all of them, grinning like a madman. Zack glanced at him. In hindsight, it should probably be Freddy who looked the most upset, considering he was the one who just nearly died. Finally, Zack cleared his throat, determined to break the silence.
"Eileen…Jason……..hi."
"Hello, Zack," Eileen said, that tremulous smile a bit less shaky now, a bit more natural.
"I…" Zack knew that he had to come up with a good explanation for how he was the one to find Freddy, why he hadn't called them in person instead of letting a doctor do it, and most of all why he had been found asleep in bed with their son. He couldn't think of a single excuse. "…I know this must look…rather…….odd."
A long, awkward silence. Zack turned and looked at Freddy for some sort of encouragement and Freddy smiled. That clinched it. That just clinched the whole damn affair. Zack turned and looked straight at Freddy's parents.
"…I'm in love with your son," he said, and then let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Next to him, Freddy's eyes were the size of dinner plates and he was slack jawed in astonishment. Then, slowly, a huge smile spread across his face. He stared silently at Zack, waiting for more. "And…and I know that's an odd thing to tell you," Zack continued, voice very shaky. "But I wanted to. Because I mean it. I honestly do mean it, more than I've ever meant anything in my life. And you may think less of me for this, you may hate me…hell, I don't know, you may even tell me I can't see him again. I don't know what you'll do, I don't know. But I don't care. I just…I wanted to tell you what I feel. And I don't care if it changes how you think of me, I don't care I don't care I don't care, because I am honestly so God damned in love with this boy."
Freddy's parents were quiet, and a hush fell over the room, only the sounds from the hallway breaking the stillness at all. Freddy sat next to Zack, unmoving. He watched Zack silently, huge beautiful smile gracing his lips. Only if one looked extremely closely could they have seen the tears in his eyes. Without saying a word, Freddy reached over and tangled his fingers with Zack's. If anyone noticed, they didn't say anything, just continued to sit in silence. Finally, Jason cleared his throat, breaking the silence. His eyes seemed locked on the spot where Freddy and Zack's hands were entwined.
"…Freddy?" he managed. That was it. Just one word, but it spoke volumes. Freddy took a deep breath and smiled as bravely as he could, scooting a little closer to Zack.
"…well….I'm not as good with words as he is……but yeah," he looked straight at his dad. "I feel the same way about him."
There were another few moments of silence, though not as long this time. Jason took a deep breath. "Okay," he said at last. Freddy brightened a bit, looking very calculatingly at his father.
"….okay?" he echoed. Jason smiled.
"Okay."
Freddy's eyes widened, an incredulous but ridiculously happy smile overcoming his face as he threw himself forward, hugging his father so tightly and violently that the man nearly fell over. He laughed, returning the hug.
"I love you, dad," Freddy whispered, unable to hold the tears back any more. Jason looked to be having some problems controlling his emotions as well.
"I love you, too," he said softly, voice very gruff and thick with emotion. He released his hold on Freddy, tousling the messy blond hair. "Your mother and I have some paperwork to fill out so that we can get you out of here and back home, so we'll be back in a while….you get some sleep now, you hear?"
"Okay."
Jason smiled at Zack. "You too," he said. Zack returned the smile as best he could; he was still having a bit of trouble adjusting to all that just happened. Jason turned and left, Eileen following him, stopping for a moment to give Freddy a hug and a kiss of her own.
"I love you," she whispered, kissing him on the cheek. Freddy whispered the words back to her. Then, she moved on to Zack. Before he knew what was happening, Eileen had pulled him close and kissed his cheek as well.
"You too," she said softly. "I love you, too."
Zack's eyes widened in surprise and he couldn't control the tears that sprang to his eyes. "…I….I love you too," he managed, choking. He couldn't remember the last time that someone…a parental figure…had said those words to him.
Eileen pulled back, the sympathetic and loving smile on her face saying that she knew what he was thinking. Kissing him gently on the forehead, she turned and left.
Zack was silent and unmoving next to Freddy, staring dead ahead as he had been when Eileen left. Freddy was starting to worry a little. "….Zack?"
Slowly, Zack turned and looked at Freddy, eyes brimming with tears. "Zack!" Freddy pulled the brunette close. "Zack, what is it?"
"I…your mom said she loves me."
Freddy laughed. "That's what this is? Isn't that a good thing, though?"
Zack was silent. "I can't remember the last time my mom or dad said that to me."
"…….oh."
"Yeah."
Freddy couldn't think of a thing to say. "Well…" he began awkwardly. "…I love you…if that's any consolation."
Zack smiled up at him. "That means more than both my parents love put together ever could."
Freddy took Zack's hands in his own, lifting them to his face and gently kissing Zack's fingertips. "I've always wanted to do that," he murmured. "Ever since I first heard you play guitar."
"Liar."
"It's true!" Freddy insisted.
"Freddy…that would have to be in like, third grade!"
"………………." Freddy didn't say a word. Zack stared at him, incredulous look on his face.
"….you've had a crush on me since third grade?"
Freddy didn't look up from where his fingers were nervously fiddling with the bed sheets. A huge grin was spreading quickly over Zack's face. "You DID!" he exclaimed. Freddy nodded once, his cheeks aflame, and Zack burst out laughing. "Oh, Freddy, that is just too much!"
"Yeah, well," Freddy muttered. "You're special."
The laughter ceased, leaving Zack stunned silent and staring in astonishment at Freddy, eyes wide. "…you…really have had a crush on me since third grade?" he asked. Freddy nodded again. "Since when? I mean…when did you realize that?"
"…the first day of school….when I transferred to Horace Green. Everyone made fun of me for my ADD, remember? And you…you came over and asked if you could sit with me…actually asked…as though I would have refused company at that point. And you were so nice to me." His cheeks were stained pink. Zack could remember everything that had happened that day as if it had been yesterday. Everyone had been so mean to Freddy…little hyper-ass blond kid with an attitude problem and a complete inability to sit still for more then five seconds. He felt as though he was melting into a gushy puddle right then and there, to know that Freddy- silly, goofy, foul-mouthed, un-romantic Freddy- had had a crush on Zack since the first day they had met.
"And then in music class when I heard you play…" Freddy seemed to be having a difficult time putting the words together the way he wanted them. "I was just….amazed. You're so damn good. Seriously, Zack, music just flows out of you like….I don't know what. I'm no poet. All I know is that the first time I heard you play…I wanted to cry. And to hold those hands and just…" he gestured helplessly. "…kiss them. And I've thought the same thing every time I've heard you play since then."
There was a long silence. Freddy was a brilliant shade of vermillion red and Zack was too stunned to say a thing. Finally, Freddy glanced up from under a mess of blonde hair. "…aren't you even going to say something?"
Instead of a vocal response, he got Zack in his lap and the most intense kiss he had ever experienced. He froze at first, too surprised to do anything but sit there and let Zack do…ridiculously heavenly things to his mouth. And all he could think was where the merry fuck did Mooneyham ever learn to kiss like that?
And then there were Zack's hands up under his shirt, teasing up his chest and Zack nipped at his lip and GOD that was it…Freddy bit back a moan, fingers tangling in thick brown hair. Then, memories came back and he pulled back, gently tugging Zack off him. The brunette looked at him, confused. "Wait a minute," Freddy said breathlessly. "What is this?"
"What do you mean?" Zack's fingers were itching to move their way back up Freddy's shirt, but he, unlike Freddy, had some self control, and managed to stay still.
"What about…about…"
"…about?" Zack cocked his head to one side, waiting. Freddy's face was red again and he looked away.
"I'm a fucking whore, Zack….I mean….I'm not going to do it anymore…but still. I've done it. It's disgusting, and….and so am I."
Zack stared at Freddy and wanted to cry when he saw the utter anguish written on the blonde's face, knowing he had caused some of it by his attitude earlier. "Freddy, I told you it doesn't matter, and I meant it. It doesn't matter at all. You are the only thing that matters to me."
"But I'm disgusting," Freddy said insistently. There was a pause. "….I'm disgusting," he whispered, still unable to look Zack in the eye.
"Freddy, no you're not." Zack said forcefully. "You're not."
Freddy looked up at last, dark eyes staring at Zack, hoping against hope to be talked out of this point of view. "…then what am I?"
Zack stared at Freddy for only a moment before leaning in and kissing him. "You're beautiful," he whispered. And then that was it. Freddy's eyes were shiny with unshed tears and he just melted into Zack, pulling the brunette into him and kissing him fiercely.
"I love you," Freddy whispered, hands tracing gently down Zack's face, "so…fucking…much."
"I love you too," Zack answered, hands already slipping back underneath Freddy's shirt. Freddy's response was to slide his fingers through Zack's belt loops and to unceremoniously haul the brunette into his lap. Zack ended up on his knees straddling Freddy's hips, laughing as he nearly lost his balance. "Freddy," he managed, barely getting the word in around all the kisses Freddy was lavishing on him. "Freddy….not…DAMN, Freddy!" The latter came as Freddy's hands found their way down Zack's pants and onto his ass. "Freddy….your parents could come in at any….ahh…" He couldn't finish the sentence, no matter how hard he tried; Freddy seemed determined to keep him quiet by any means necessary, including (it would seem), nipping harshly at the soft flesh of his throat. Zack moaned, knowing he should really stop Freddy; instead his head tilted to the side to allow the blonde better access to his throat. "Freddy," he breathed. "I…"
"Yeah?" Freddy asked the question and obviously didn't expect an answer, for he pulled Zack into him with greater force, pressing their bodies harshly together so that their hips clashed forcibly. Zack bit back a gasp.
"DAMMIT, Freddy!" But even he knew that he wasn't really objecting. He pressed forward into Freddy, looking for more friction. "Mmm," he hummed, "…I guess you and I won't be having any sleepovers any time soon, huh?"
"Why do you say that?" Freddy asked, barely getting the words out through his breathlessness.
"Well…your parents know about…us. And I doubt they'll be too happy if their son's boyfriend comes to stay over."
Freddy paused, glancing up at Zack. "….boyfriend?" he asked. Zack immediately froze, turning bright red.
"I'm sorry," he said. "Stupid thing to say." He focused his attention downward. Bad idea. All it did was show him not only his own raging hard-on, but Freddy's also, which only got him more riled up. He shut his eyes tightly.
"…….do you want to be my boyfriend?"
Zack's eyes shot open immediately and his head snapped up; he looked at Freddy in surprise, surprise which quickly became a very cautious and calculating look. "…are you just asking me if I want to date you or are you actually asking me to go out with you?"
There was a pause. "….I'm asking if you'll go out with me, you silly bint!" Freddy said. "Sheesh!" he exclaimed in mock disgust. "As though there was any question about that!"
Zack smiled in relief, laughing at Freddy. "Of course!"
Freddy laughed then as well, tangling his fingers with Zack's. "So we're official now?"
"Most definitely."
Freddy leaned in close to Zack. "Excellent," he breathed, then kissed Zack again. "And…as to the matter of sleepovers…."
"…yeah?"
"The sleepovers will most definitely continue," Freddy murmured, "even if I have to climb that fucking ivy to get into your room….even if we have to barricade the fucking door….even," and here his voice took on a much more serious and determined tone, "if we have to go camping for it to happen…" Zack couldn't help but laugh at that. "…no matter what….we'll make it fucking happen."
Zack smiled. "Good." He leaned in to kiss Freddy again when there was a commotion at the door. Completely panicking, Zack attempted to roll off of Freddy. However, he forgot about Freddy's hands being down his pants and ended up half falling over backwards. This resulted in him getting tangled in the bed sheets and falling with a startled cry to the floor. He made a last desperate grab for the end table and only succeeded in grabbing the end of Freddy's dinner tray and dragging it down with him, upturning it so that food fell all over the floor and, consequently, all over him.
Eyes shut tightly, Zack waited for a reaction of some kind. He didn't have long to wait. Hysterical laughter reached his ears…laughter he recognized immediately as Freddy's. Opening his eyes, he sat up and scowled at Freddy. Plop. A big pile of mashed potatoes dripped off his head and into his eyes, totally ruining the effect of his death glare. Freddy's laughter seemed to double in volume and hysteria and Zack scowled as best he could with gravy dripping into his eyes. He wiped the gravy off his face and rubbed it onto his pants, which did little to help the situation.
"…having a little trouble, are we, Zack?"
Turning to the door, he saw Freddy's parents AND the doctor. I wanna die, he thought silently. "Just a bit, sir."
Jason smiled. "Looks it." Walking over, he gave Zack a hand up and the brunette brushed himself off as best he could, mashed potatoes and peas falling to the floor and making an absolute mess.
"You alright son?" the doctor asked. "Didn't get hurt, did you?"
"Just my Dignity," Zack mumbled. "I think I killed it."
"Who are you kidding?" Freddy teased. "You never had any to begin with."
Zack shot Freddy another death glare. "Yes, thank you Freddy, that's incredibly helpful of you."
Freddy grinned. "I know."
"Well, the doctor says you can come home, Freddy, so why don't we get you out of here?"
"Okay…what do we have to do?"
"Well, you have to put some pants on," Jason said, very bemused look on his face as he stared at Freddy's state of undress. Freddy glanced down and saw just his boxers…he had completely failed to notice that his pants had been removed at some point.
"OH….hey…what happened to my pants?" he asked, equally confused as his father.
"They were….a bit bloody," the doctor said. "They were taken off when you were brought in."
"….I was stripped by total strangers?" Freddy asked, one eyebrow arched.
"….yes…"
Freddy pondered this for a moment. "…kinky." Eileen gave him a swat to the back of the head. "HEY!"
"Behave yourself."
"I am!" he insisted. "I would be misbehaving if I pantsed Mooneyham," he said. Zack turned a terrific shade of red. "But commenting on the kinky reasons behind my lack of pants is not at all misbehaving!"
Eileen sighed. "Freddy?"
"Yeah?"
"….shut up."
"…okay." Freddy grinned. "So, what do I do about my…pant-less situation?"
"We have some hospital issue pajamas for you," the doctor said, holding up a pair of blue and white striped pajama pants.
"Groovy," Freddy said, taking and inspecting the pants.
"And your mother and father have to sign the release papers."
"Fantastic."
"So…will you be alright alone for a few minutes?"
"Sure thing," Freddy said. "I'll have Zack help me put my pants on. He's good at that." Freddy glanced at Zack, grinning, and the brunette looked as though he wanted to melt into the floor.
Jason was obviously trying to suppress a smile. "As long as he's not helping you take anything off."
…..Zack was approximately the color of a tomato. Freddy looked as though his face would split in two from grinning. "No, we'll be saving that one for later tonight."
Jason coughed as though to suppress a laugh and Eileen gave Freddy a Look. "That's what you think, young man." Turning to leave, she tried to give Zack a Look as well, but failed as it turned into a smile. "Behave yourselves," she said, pointing an admonishing finger at each boy in turn. The three adults exited again, and Zack slowly turned wide, evil eyes on Freddy, who did a double take.
"Whaaaaaaaaat?" Freddy whined.
"How can you….why did you…." He punched Freddy's shoulder as hard as he could. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT?"
"Hey, they already know about us," Freddy said defensively. "There's no point in trying to cover stuff up. Believe me, with my parents it'll be much better to just joke about it…it will make everything much better that way." The two stared at each other, Zack seeing Freddy's point but not wanting to admit it. "Now," Freddy said, "you going to help me put these pants on…or aren't you?"
"……can't you do it yourself?"
"………………..I'd rather have you do it."
Zack felt himself flushing again. But he took the pants out of Freddy's hands, silently cursing himself when his hands started shaking. He helped the blonde put the pants on, one leg at a time, then very very slowly tugging them up over Freddy's slim hips, and gently tying them at the waist, making very sure that the entire time he was putting the pants on his fingers traced over Freddy's legs, teasing lightly across bare skin. He noted with some satisfaction as he pulled the drawstring tight that Freddy's hands were shaking. Slowly, he raised his head until his eyes locked with Freddy's. The blonde stared back with dark brown eyes full of heat and a desire that Zack understood all too well.
"……..thanks," Freddy whispered at last.
Zack leaned in. "Don't mention it," he said softly, breath warm on Freddy's face before he leaned in and kissed the blonde. Guitar callused fingers traced along Freddy's face and then through blonde hair, pressing against his scalp. Freddy let out a pretty sort of sigh, allowing his head to rest on Zack's shoulders.
"God," he said softly.
"Yeah," Zack murmured, still pressing kisses to Freddy's bare skin.
"How many times have we done this the past few days?"
Zack laughed. "I don't know," he said. "But we're teenagers with crazy hormones….we're entitled."
Freddy chuckled, his laughter teasing along Zack's throat and sending shivers down his back. "Oh yeah? Well, in that case…" Zack suddenly found himself pulled forward, thighs pressed to the cold metal of the bed as Freddy wrapped his legs about Zack's waist, pulling the brunette roughly up against him for fully body contact. He laughed, kissing Freddy again.
"You'll use any excuse for sex, won't you?" he teased.
Freddy arched an eyebrow. "Who mentioned sex?" he asked. "Not me. Why, Mooneyham? D'you want to have sex with me?"
Zack froze, staring at Freddy in utter surprise. Freddy stared very seriously back. "What did you say?" Zack asked, stalling for time.
"I said doyouwanttohavesexwithme?" Freddy repeated very slowly, as though speaking to a dimwitted child. Zack stared.
"…what, right now?"
Freddy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure my parents would love that, walking back in on the two of us fucking like rabbits," he said sarcastically. "No, of course not now," he murmured, arms wrapping possessively about Zack's neck. "….later."
Zack stared down into those big brown eyes and found his mouth was too dry to say a word. This was all moving a little too fast for him. It had only been two days since he and Freddy had first kissed, since he had found out about the drugs and the prostitution and then Freddy had slit his wrists and now…..and now…. He stared into Freddy's eyes and thought about it, truly thought about it. True, it had only been two days since they had kissed…but how many years had it been that they had been friends? How many years was it that he had wanted to kiss Freddy? How long had it been since he realized that he wanted Freddy to be more than just a friend?
He thought of the past few days and how they had been the best days of his life. Kissing Freddy for the first time was like some unimaginable dream. It was the culmination of everything he had ever hoped for but never thought to possess. And then that night after dinner….he flushed with the memory, but knew that it had felt…right. It had felt good. And he knew in his heart that if he was to have sex with anyone, he wanted it to be Freddy.
"…I…"
Freddy waited expectantly.
"….I don't know, Freddy." Zack felt a pain in his chest when he saw the way Freddy's eyes looked, taken aback, slightly wounded, and realized what Freddy was thinking. "No, it's not that," he said hurriedly. "It's not anything to do with you, Freddy, honestly. I'm just….." he sighed. "I'm not ready yet. But…when it does happen……I want it to be with you."
Freddy's face brightened considerably. "I'm so glad," he said, leaning in to rest his head on Zack's shoulder again. "I thought…"
"I know," Zack said softly.
"I thought it was me," Freddy whispered. "I thought you didn't want me because of…of…"
Zack held Freddy at arms length, placing a silencing finger over his lips. "Listen: I meant what I said earlier. I was stupid to ever think that could make a difference. It doesn't. You are the only thing that matters to me, Freddy Jones. You're sweet…and thoughtful….and funny…and the most beautiful person I have ever met." Zack stared at a very surprised and touched Freddy. "I love you, Freddy," he whispered.
Freddy managed a lopsided smile before kissing Zack. "I love you too," he whispered, lips brushing gently against Zack's as he spoke.
The curtain was pushed aside and the adults came back in with a wheelchair, but not before the two boys could move apart. "Well well well," Jason said, shaking his head in mock disapproval. "Can't you two keep your hands off each other?"
Freddy grinned and pulled Zack close to him, fingers running through long brown hair. "Zack loves me," he said, grin on his face bigger than any smile he had been seen with in the past few years. Jason couldn't help but smile.
"So we've been told," he said. Freddy kissed Zack on the cheek; Zack couldn't help but blush but he didn't try to pull back. Instead his arms looped about Freddy's waist, tugging the blonde even closer. "You ready to go?"
"Sure on, then, wheelchair time."
Freddy looked over at Zack and batted his eyes. "Carry me?"
Zack rolled his eyes and heaved a big fake sigh, but he scooped Freddy into his arms and carried him over to the wheelchair. Jason glanced down at the still-smiling blonde. "May I ask just why that was necessary?" he asked.
Freddy grinned. "Oh, I just like having Zack carry me about." He beckoned his father to bend over so he could whisper in his ear, then stage whispered loud enough for the whole room to hear: "He's my man-slave."
"Oh, really?' Jason was trying not to snicker. "Is that so, Zack?"
"Pfffft, in his dreams."
Jason couldn't control the laughter any more. "Looks like you lose, Freddy." He moved behind the wheelchair and began pushing it out of the room. "Come on…let's get going."
They weren't moving for long. Out in the hallway the doctor stopped them again with some extra bandages and some last minute instructions. Freddy, impatient to go, soon came up with an idea.
"Hey dad?"
"Mmm?"
"Can Zack push the wheelchair for me?"
"No, Freddy. As much fun as I'm sure you two would have with that, I think it's for the good of the whole hospital if a responsible adult takes care of that," Jason said dryly before turning his attention back to the doctor and the conversation picked up again. Freddy glanced at Zack and faked a huge sigh; Zack responded with an apologetic shrug. A few moments passed. Freddy the ADD boy grew incredibly bored. Even Zack was acting a bit antsy.
Freddy glanced over his shoulder to make sure the "responsible adults" weren't paying attention. He peeked up at Zack and stared until the brunette glanced his way. "Push me," he hissed.
"Freddy….I can't," Zack whispered back, glancing nervously at the adults.
"Just a bit," Freddy pleaded. Zack sighed.
"Oh, alRIGHT." He began pushing Freddy very slowly down the hallway, desperate to avoid drawing any attention to the two of them.
"Zack? Freddy? Where are you going?" Jason's voice floated down the hallway. Zack froze and looked at Freddy for further instruction. The blond returned the look with a mischievous grin.
"Run."
"What?!"
"You heard me," Freddy said. "RUN!"
"….Freddy….I can't!" Zack looked panicked; behind them, Freddy's parents were starting towards them.
"Come ON, Zack, when are you going to get this chance again?"
There was a moment's pause as Zack considered what Freddy was saying. Then, a smile spread across his face. "You're on." And with that, he shoved the wheelchair with all his might and began bolting down the hall with it.
"HEY!"
Zack knew he should be feeling some nervousness about what he was doing but he couldn't; not with Freddy whooping and hollering for him to go faster, not with disoriented orderlies and nurses leaping out of their way as they made their frantic dash down the hall. Reaching the elevator, he jammed the button down again and again until the doors opened and then, pushing the wheelchair in, he pressed the button frantically for the doors to close until, the button for the lobby lighting up, they did so.
Silence fell in the elevator other than the sound of the two boys panting for breath through their laughter.
"That was great," Freddy said breathlessly.
"Oh yeah," Zack gasped. "Totally." He flopped back against the wall of the elevator, gasping for breath. Reaching out, Freddy grabbed a handful of Zack's pants, tugging the brunette closer. "Whoa, what?"
"Kiss me." Freddy was still tugging at Zack's pants, trying to pull Zack down to his height. Zack laughed.
"Haven't you had enough of that yet?"
"I will never have enough of you," Freddy answered breathlessly. Zack stared, surprised and pleased. Freddy smiled. "Kiss me," he said softly.
Small smile on his face, Zack complied, leaning over and kissing Freddy gently. Freddy released his death grip on Zack's pants and grabbed the collar of Zack's shirt instead, pulling Zack into him forcefully. Zack laughed against Freddy's mouth.
The elevator made that silly little dinging sound to signify that they had reached the lobby. Zack tried to pull away, but Freddy wasn't letting go. "Freddy," he managed, barely getting the word out around all the kisses Freddy was pressing all over his face. "Freddy, the doors are gonna open and-"
….the doors opened. Zack sighed, prying Freddy's fingers off of his collar. Turning, he saw a group of people all staring. "Um…..hi."
No one seemed sure what to say. Some were smiling, a few were stifling laughter, and some of them looked genuinely bothered. "…..sorry…….just bringing my friend…..uhhh…..Jim-Bob….umm, yeah…..home from the hospital," he said, jerking one thumb in Freddy's direction.
At the name 'Jim-Bob' Freddy's eyes widened in surprise, and he couldn't help but smile, a large charming grin, and he waved at the crowd as though he were a game show contestant. Several people laughed and some even waved back. Then Freddy stopped and sat silently, grin still in place, hands folded in his lap, waiting to see what Zack would say next.
Zack leaned forwards toward the crowd. "He's a complete nymphomaniac," he stage-whispered loudly. "Hopeless case. He's being brought home and put under house arrest for the rest of his life."
At the word "nymphomaniac," Freddy's eyebrows shot up in apparent interest. Then, he shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'well, fine then.' Putting on the most sensuous and riled up look he could muster, he leaned forwards, wrapping both arms about Zack's waist, one hand slipping beneath Zack's shirt and the other going straight for Zack's groin, blatantly groping the brunette. Zack's eyes widened impossibly huge and he let out a little "meep!" of surprise. The crowd was watching with extreme interest. Zack forced a smile and laughed nervously. "Ummm….yeah. As you can see, he really needs to be under house arrest of the most severe kind." He gently peeled Freddy's hand off of his abdomen and gently (VERY gently) removed Freddy's hand from his groin. "Well….best be going….three hour drive and all that, you know how it is." He quickly wheeled Freddy out of the elevator, the blonde blowing kisses at all the watchers the entire time.
After rounding the corner, Zack swatted the back of Freddy's head. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"
"Didn't I do okay?" Freddy asked, overly innocent look on his face which he knew Zack was never going to buy. "I was going for 'Yes, Zack, sex now PLEASE!'"
"Why would you do that?!"
"Hey, YOU'RE the one who said 'nymphomaniac'!" Freddy said defensively. "I was just playing the part!"
Zack sighed. "You're far too horny for your own good, you know that, Jones?"
"Yes indeed."
"Oh." Zack was too taken aback to say anything. "…….okay. So long as you know."
Freddy laughed. "Dork."
"Look who's talking!"
"Oh, give it up, Mooneyham!" Freddy scoffed. "I am the epitome of cool!"
Zack laughed hysterically. "Oh, THERE'S a laugh!"
"Are you saying I'm not cool, Mooneyham?"
"I'm saying you're the epitome of DORK, Jones."
A completely over-dramatic gasp. "I'm INSULTED!"
"Oh, well good, I'm glad you are!"
"You know what, Mooneyham? As soon as I'm back on me feet, I'm gonna-"
"Yeah? Yeah? Gonna what?"
"I'm gonna-"
The playful banter of the two boys was cut short as Zack froze, pulling the wheelchair to a grinding halt. Waiting for them in the hospital lobby were Freddy's parents. Both boys swallowed hard, dreading a conflict. Zack slowly wheeled Freddy over to his parents.
"Why are you going so slowly?" Jason hissed at them as they got closer. "Hurry up! Hurry up!"
Zack started in surprise. "….hurry….up?" he managed.
"What do you THINK I said? HURRY UP!"
Zack, not one to disagree with a frantic and emotional father, hurriedly half ran the wheelchair over. Jason was already motioning wildly.
"Quick, quick! Outside! Hurry! Into the car!"
"I don't…what…." Freddy began, but it didn't matter what he thought….he was just sitting in the wheelchair. Zack was the one responsible for pushing it, so he was the one moving at top speed with it out the front door to the car. Within a matter of minutes, Freddy had been moved to the car, the wheelchair left with an attendant, and the group was driving away. Freddy let out a sigh. "Okay…now what's all this about? Why were we hurrying so much?"
"Do you boys have any idea the amount of ruckus you caused?" Jason asked, not taking his eyes off the road. "We wanted to get you out of there before those doctors caught up and had us there for three more hours, yelling at us about the improper way we'd raised our son….plus I'm sure we'd get blamed for you, Zack, and you're really not our fault."
Zack grinned. "Who are you trying to kid? I spent about the same amount of time with you as I did with my own parents, if not more. You're at least half responsible for the way I turned out!"
There was a pause. Jason turned and looked at his wife. "I'm ashamed."
She tried to suppress a smile, but couldn't. "As well you should be."
"Me?!" he demanded. "What about you?"
"Hey, you can't blame me for this," Eileen insisted. "They get all this from you!"
"Wait," Freddy interrupted. "We're not getting in trouble for this?"
"Well," Jason began thoughtfully. "It probably wasn't the best idea……and you did cause a lot of ruckus….but you didn't break anything, or hurt yourselves or anyone else………………..plus I know I would have done the same thing," he finished, grinning at them from the rearview mirror.
"Hence your full responsibility for the way they turned out!" Eileen said triumphantly. "Things like that!"
"You can HARDLY say that I-"
"I most certainly can say that you-"
"Guys?"
The two stopped their playful bickering, full attention on their son. "Yes?" Eileen said.
"Can Zack stay over?"
The car stopped at a red light. There was a long silence. Both parents looked at each other for a long time, silently discussing the pros and cons of the idea without ever saying a word. Jason sighed. "I don't know, Freddy….the last thing you need is your blood pressure to go through the roof."
"DAAAAAAAAAD!" Freddy exclaimed, rolling his eyes. "It WON'T! GOD! We're not going to be screwing!"
"FREDDY!" Zack looked positively scandalized, but Freddy barreled right on.
"First of all, we are NOT shagging! We never have! Second of all, if we WERE shagging, we wouldn't do it at home! God! How tacky do you think we are?"
Jason suppressed a smile. "I don't know, Freddy…that is a pretty bad shirt."
Freddy was silent for a moment, and he was obviously struggling to act as though he didn't find his father's joke amusing. His lips pursed to hold back a smile and he pointed one accusing finger at his father, completely unable to say a word in response, then continued as if nothing had been said. "Seriously, dad….nothing will happen. I just….I want him here. Please."
Jason glanced back at his son in the rearview mirror. "…..okay." The light changed and the car moved on.
Freddy's entire face lit up. "Really?!"
"Yes. But you two had better-"
"We KNOW, dad."
"I know….I just thought it had to be said." Jason pulled onto their road….within minutes they were home. Freddy insisted that he could take care of himself, but Jason insisted on carrying him inside. Eileen said goodnight downstairs, giving Freddy at least seven kisses, and then Jason brought Freddy to the guest bedroom, because of the bloody state of Freddy's own room. Zack followed, somewhat nervously. As much as he wanted to stay with Freddy, it was still an awkward situation.
Jason gently set Freddy down on the edge of the bed, legs hanging over the side. Freddy began nonchalantly kicking his feet. "Okay……anything I can get for you before I go?" Jason asked.
Freddy looked around the room. "I don't think so….you guys did a pretty good job." His parents had apparently had someone move in a bunch of things for him before he came home. His own pillow was on the bed, a bunch of his old stuffed animals were seated in the rocking chair. His drum set had been moved in, along with the collection of framed photos that had literally covered his desk, preventing any work being done at it (he had always done his homework on the floor of his bedroom or the living room). Most of the photos were of either the School of Rock or of him and Zack. In fact, looking at them, Jason wondered why he hadn't caught on sooner. I guess no one really expects it with his own child.
"Yeah," he said aloud. "We had Uncle David come and set stuff up for you."
"Oh yeah? Can I see him soon?"
"Definitely."
"Cool….." They were all silent for a moment. "Okay…..I think I'm good. Thanks, dad."
Jason smiled. "You're welcome." Leaning down, he hugged Freddy and actually kissed him on the cheek, something he hadn't done in forever. "I love you, kid" he said softly. Tears welled up in Freddy's eyes.
"I love you, too," he said, voice thick with tears. Jason pulled away, ruffling Freddy's hair, smile on his face.
"Sleep tight, kid." He waved a hand at Zack. "You too, Zack."
"Night, Jason."
The door shut with a loud click and Zack looked at Freddy, who looked nearly ready to cry again. "….are you…okay?" Zack asked.
Freddy crawled up on the bed, pressing into Zack and embracing him tightly. "Just hold me, Zack," he whispered, curling up beside the brunette. "Can you hold me?"
Zack smiled. "That I can handle." He pulled the covers up over both of them and wrapped protective arms about Freddy. "Sleep," he instructed. "It's been a long day. Well," he reconsidered, thinking on all that had passed since this whole thing began, "a long five days, actually."
"It's been a long five years," Freddy corrected, voice muffled by Zack's t-shirt and the blanket pulled up to his nose.
"Well…..you're at the tail end of it," Zack said. "You don't have to worry about it anymore. We're going to help you through it now."
"Zack?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Zack laughed. "How many times are you going to say that?"
"Actually, I never intend to stop."
Zack smiled. "Good. Because I love you, too. Now sleep." He gently kissed Freddy's forehead. "Sleep. It'll be better in the morning."
Freddy yawned, his words coming out blurred and sleep-muddled. "……promise?" He was asleep before Zack could respond. Zack silently thanked God for that miracle. He didn't really know if that was a promise he could give.
tbc