Hi! Okay, I am a bad person: I have been taking forever to update. And let me say this, I'm sorry! But here, here's a chapter right here!

Backs away from angry people...

And after this chapter, the good part starts. I swear, I will update! sigh there's just so much homework...okay, here's some shout-outs. And I don't really want to put a disclaimer, because probably has one hugely gigantic one for all of us, right? Oh, one more thing; please tell me if there is something I can fix on this fic, because it helps me become a better writer. Just please don't swear at me...(Not that anyone has, I'm just saying.)
I will cry! Bye!

ShOuT oUtS!

muse-of-the-fairies: Oh wow, thanks!

x.kromediva.x: I know...but they will get longer! Thanks! I am obeying your demand right now when I should be sleeping... :)

totaltvjunkie: Well pretty soon, you won't have to imagine! ThAnKyOu!

jAvA cRaZy: Oh don't worry, they will!

GOThICsOCkMoNKeYs: thankyouthankyouthankyou! I love making funny situations for them. Where did you think up your screenname? It sounds like something Lorelai would say randomly to freak out Luke. :P :D :) Hey...that's actually a good idea. Could I do that? 0:)

ProFfeSseR: jumps up and down laughing delightedly thankyou! I don't know where the hell the milk story came from, but I'm glad you like it!

pajo: I'm trying to add something about elvis in every chappie...weird, huh? Thanks for reading!

gilmoregirl1979: I love the detailed reviews. Thanks for the advice (I actually took some of it!), and unfortunataly for you grin Rory will be there...mostly. wink wink I'm Go-Go Getting!

BrOwNiEs & JaVaJuNkIeS FoReVeR!

"Lorelai?"

"Yes, Luke?"

"Why are there sweaters in your freezer?"

"Huh?"

"Sweaters. In. Your. Freezer. Why?"

"Do you really want to know?" Luke sighed and started to take his hat off and run his fingers through his hair, before he remembered that he had not been allowed to bring any head gear as part of the rules. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to know why Lorelai kept her laundry in the freezer, but she would probably tell him anyway whether he liked it or not, now that he had brought the subject up. Besides, even though he hated to admit it to himself, he really did want to know. Damn it.
"Yeah…okay, just tell me and get it over with."

"Well, it's summer."

"So?"

"Well, what happens during summer?"

"Kirk wears shorts."

"Ew…mental image. Anyway, what else happens?"

"You start bugging me more."

"And what else happens?"

"People get hot."

"Ooh…DIRTY!" Luke turned red and stuttered a little, shoving his hands into his pockets. He hated it when she did that.

"L-lorelai!" She giggled, choking on the ice cube she had been sucking on.

"Okay, I'll just tell you already."

"Thank God!"

"Me and Rory keep them in the freezer because…"

"Yeah?"

"It reminds us of winter. Plus, you can go into town in really hot weather wearing a thick wool sweater, and everyone will think you are crazy and point at you, and you can annoy Taylor a whole lot. It's really a very fun and educational mother-daughter activity."

"Are you serious?"

"Very." Luke shook his head, trying not to smile and failing.

"I knew you were insane."

"Hey!" Lorelai frowned, and twisted behind Luke to drop her half melted ice cube down the back of his flannel shirt, giggling yet again as he hopped around the kitchen swearing, and trying desperately to get it out.

"Damn it, Lorelai…ahh, jeezus, crap that's frigging cold!"

"Ooh, ooh, this is a Kodak moment! Why didn't I think to put a camera in the kitchen?"

CLICK!

"Yay, thanks Rory!" Rory had just gotten home from Lane's, and was holding onto one of the carefully hidden disposable cameras that she and Lorelai had stashed all around the house. The purpose of these was to capture something rarer than Bigfoot; Luke Danes having fun. Admittedly, Luke hadn't really been having fun in this first picture, but you had to admit, it was pretty damn funny.

"Hey Mom…hey birthday boy!" Luke winced, both because the ice cube had somehow gotten trapped in his left flannel sleeve, and because that was the most humiliating nickname he had ever heard. Okay, maybe it wasn't quite as bad as Lorelai calling him "Lukey-sweetie-honey-poo" in front of the whole diner last week when he had refused to sell her coffee, but it was still pretty bad.

"Hi Rory…could you do me a favor and keep your crazy mother away from me?" Let's hope that never happens…Rory grinned and grabbed two more fluffy, pointed party hats from her mother's outstretched hands, putting one on and shoving the other at Luke.

"Put it on, Luke!"

"Yeah!" Lorelai made hurry up movements with her hands. "Put it on!" Luke stubbornly shook his head, frowning deeper as he finally shook the ice cube into the sink.

"No! It's sparkly, and, and…fluffy!" Lorelai and Rory gave each other looks of confusion, and Rory shook her head.

"But Lukey…it's blue! Blue is a boy color. I could understand if you didn't want to wear the fluffy pink one, or the one Rory's wearing that says 'party girl', but that one is blue!"

"I don't care how blue it is. For god sakes, it has glitter!"

"But Luuuke…they didn't have one with a flannel print! Just wear the hat…"

"Please, Luke?" Pleaded Rory, trying to look sincere.

"Please, Luke?" Lorelai echoed.

"No!"

"But Luke…Rory picked it out, all by herself, and if you don't put in on you'll hurt her feelings!" Luke glanced at Rory, and she stuck her lower lip out, clasping her hands together and reminding him of a miniature Lorelai begging for coffee. How was he supposed to say no to that?

"Aw, geez…" Seeing that they almost had him convinced, Lorelai started a chant.

"Put it ON! Put it on! Put it ON! Put it on! Ooh…that sounds kinda dirty."

"Mom! That's going too far!" said Rory, making a disgusted face.

"Yeah, it is!" Luke tried to keep from turning red again, seeing as how that's all he had been doing since he got here ten minutes ago. He groaned inwardly as he saw the Gilmore girls give each other a secret look, knowing that it couldn't turn out very well for him. Oh, god…they were both sticking their lower lips out now, clasping their hands together and making high pitched whining noises, like insane java-addicted puppies. Even doing that, Lorelai looked beautiful. They backed him into a corner of the kitchen, where he tripped over a plastic Mickey mouse cup that had been left on the floor. This was starting to get scary.

"Okay, okay I'll wear the hat! Just for the love of God, stop that!" Lorelai solemnly handed him the hat, which he held as far away as possible from him, staring at it like it was a dead rat. Rory rolled her eyes and smiled, loving Stars Hollow. Where else could you get entertainment like this?

"Make him put it on, Mom. I'm gonna go put in the movie, and get the camera ready for when he comes in. With the hat." Luke frowned at Rory, looking murderous.

"You're supposed to protect me, not feed me to the wolves!"

"Tough."

Ten minutes later Luke walked into the Gilmore living room, to be greeted with a happy squeal from Rory, and a flash from the camera. Rubbing the spots from his eyes, Luke pleadingly looked behind him, where Lorelai was standing there grinning her ass off—Stop thinking about her rear!—and almost jumping up and down with excitement. He loved seeing her like that, so bubbly and beautiful, but having the elastic cord of the stupid hat biting into his neck dulled the pleasure at watching her.

"Can I take it off now?"

"Awww…"

"Please?" Oh, God, I just begged her to let me take it off. How pathetic am I? Surprised at getting Luke to actually plead to take his party hat off, Lorelai didn't speak for three whole seconds, an eternity in Gilmore time. During those three seconds, she thought about how cute Luke looked in the hat. It was like they were in the twilight zone; Luke was standing there in his typical grumpy Luke pose, looking exactly like he did most days, but he was wearing a sparkly, pointy, blue party hat. I can't believe I actually got him to put it on! He really did look cute, with little soft-looking wavy locks of brown hair curling out from under the hat…wait, where had that come from? Bad Lorelai, bad, bad Lorelai. But now that she had noticed one Luke-detail, others came, like they always did. Cute ears, a little pink from embarrassment, cute dimples, cute nose, pretty blue eyes, soft-looking full lips…What is wrong with me? Stop it! Your gonna freak him out staring at him like that! Think about food…pizza, sandwiches, meatballs, cheez-wiz, whipped cream, ho-ho's, twinkies, milk, redvines, candy, coffee…ooh, coffee; that did it!

"Okay, let's get the party started! Ooh, dirty."

"Lorelai!"

"Yeah, okay I'll stop."

"Really?"

"Um…probably not." Luke sighed and tried to scratch his head, accedentally knocking the party hat askew. What was next?