The Smokin' by the Oak tree series- Love

(Dedicated to a close friend. Love ya, Erin, dear!)

Summary: Buffy muses about the role of a very certain bleached vampire in her life. Fluff, up to 'Dead Things.'

Rating: PG- mild sexual content.

Disclaimer: You know the drill.. I don't own any of the Buffy material or characters, but if I did… mmmmmmm. Yummy Spikey!

Thoughts

Flashbacks

-

On a chilly October night, when all was silent and calm, and the warmly colored tree tops swayed in a gentle breeze, the dim, silver light of a full harvest moon shone down, casting everything in a light gray tint.

All was clam in the summers home- well, almost. Buffy sat on her window sill, dressed in a simple crème colored pajama set. She stared dreamily out the open window, as a slight, playful breeze tousled her golden waves. Four am.

Normally she would've been asleep by now… but not tonight. No, tonight she was restless- to many thoughts were plaguing her mind, and all of them revolved around a very certain, peroxide-treated vampire.

She hadn't been to see Spike tonight, using the excuse that she'd had an awful day at work- not that there was ever a good day at the DoubleMeat Palace- and she was far to exhausted. But that wasn't it. As of late, everything had been going relatively smoothly between her and Spike- they had come to a basic understanding. But last night, something went off-cannon.

"Say it…" he'd said, his hand making lazy circles on her bare tummy. "Tell me you have feelings for me." His voice was low and seductive, his lips just a few inches from her neck.

"Spike, c'mon… we've been through this." She protested, not daring to look up into those beautiful icy eyes.

"No, not properly, we haven't." He'd replied, propping himself up on his elbow. She'd sighed and shook her head.

"Fine… just uhm.. Well… just shut up and kiss me." she demanded, pressing her lips firmly against his. She pushed him onto his back, desperate to feel his soft, full lips.. His stunning, passionate kiss.

This had always worked.

Every time Spike would start to ask questions, she'd distract him with seduction, they'd make love, and everything would be good for a while.

But this time, it was different. It hadn't worked.

Spike pushed her away, taking a deep, but unneeded breath. "Alright.. So that's how it is then, eh? Well.. Not now. Not this time.. If I can't have something.. Bloody hell. Just.. Not now, okay?" He murmured, dressing quickly.

She was surprised, but just rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Spike! You don't really-" "Get. Out." He cut her short, a low, deadly tone in his voice. His eyes were narrow, and she could see he wasn't playing, so she quickly did as he'd said.

Buffy frowned at the memory, looking down at her feet. She was wrong to do that, and she knew it. She was wrong to treat him like a toy.. Like he didn't matter. After that, she hadn't seen him again. It wasn't like him to just disappear. Here she'd sat, all night- looking for him.

But when he didn't show up to stand by the old oak tree and look up at her window, she'd started to worry.

Yeah, yeah… we know what you're thinking. But it's not true! No way was she in love with him, not even close! Just like she was not even close to being lonely without him.. And like snow wasn't even close to white.. And like tomatoes were not even close to fruits!

But she couldn't love him, it was impossible!…. Wasn't it? That's easy, Buffy thought, Spike's bad.. He's evil. He doesn't have a soul, so he must be evil. But was he really?

When she first met Spike, he was a cruel, vicious animal- thriving on human blood, and murder by numbers. But over the years- whether anyone would admit it or not- the had been a slow but radical change in him.

He was kind and considerate- to her at least, but that was enough. He loved and cared about her more than anything in the world, and used his amazing strength to protect her and Dawnie.

"I know you'll never love me… I know that I'm a monster.. But you treat me

like a man. And that's…"

His voice rang through her head, causing her to smile a bitter-sweet grin.

"That's what?" she whispered to herself, tilting her head slightly. "What did he mean to say?" But deep down, she had a feeling. A bright smile lit up her features, and she sighed softly to herself.

"No William… you're not a monster. Not anymore. You -are- a man, and I love you."

Buffy came to her final conclusion, as she stood and closed her window, returning to bed. She drifted off into a deep, peaceful slumber, with pleasant dreams of her decided new man.

But down in the yard, by the big oak tree, there was a small pile of cigarettes. Spike stepped out, staring up to her darkened window with a look of rapture upon his face. "Yeah… love you too, pet." He whispered with a glowing smile, and then disappeared into the shadows.

The End