A/N: I have skipped some time here, because I ran out of ideas at the last
one. So, we have been taken down to the town when Axis gets the
appointment for head of town defenses.
Disclaimer: I don't own it!! *sob* I don't!! I don't even own the books!! I just like to write fanfics!! DON"T SUE BECAUSE ALL I HAVE IS 5 DOLLARS AND A CREDIT CARD WITH ONE DOLLAR ON IT!! *breaks down*
"This is patently ridiculous." Jessica said.
"It's cool." Rachel corrected her.
"Yeah!! While everyone else gets frostbite, we're perfectly fine!!!!!!" I said. We were walking down the battlement of the fortified Gorkentown in a blizzard. And, as indicated, even in capri's and short sleeves, we were perfectly fine. I was a little hyper, and ever so slightly pissed off because both the Vanilla Cokes were frozen.
"Who goes there?" a wallguard challenged our unfamiliar voices.
"A tasty, tasty..." I whispered, imitating the Skraelings.
"A pretty, pretty..." Rachel joined in, grinning.
"SKRAELINGS ON THE WALL!!! 'WARE!!" the guard shouted.
"Whoa!! Not cool!!!!!!!!!!!" Jessica shrieked. "The icky toothy things on the wall? With us?"
Through the snow came the looming figure of the wall guard. After him came another shadowy outline.
"I should have known it would be you three." Axis said disgustedly.
"Us three what?" Rachel said innocently.
"So, um they're not Skraelings?" the wallguard asked cautiously.
"No, they're not!" Axis snapped. "Go and tell the others it was a false alarm." He ordered the wallguard. "I'll take your post for the meantime."
"Yes, sir!!" the wall guard saluted, and took off into the driving snow.
Axis glared at us.
"What were you thinking?" He asked.
"You think they were thinking?" Jessica retorted.
He considered.
"Not really."
"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT IT TAKES GREAT INTELLECT AND VOCAL CONTROL TO IMITATE THOSE LITTLE MONSTERS!!!!!!!!" I informed him.
"I couldn't have put it better myself." Rachel said. "Except for that himself over there probably doesn't have the intellect or vocal control to imitate them."
Himself glared at us.
"You've got the entire garrison in an uproar now, and all for the sake of your little tricks. What have you got to say for yourself?"
"It wouldn't have happened if that cretin hadn't fallen for it!!!!!!!" I screeched.
"Exactly. These people are morons. Nothing we can do about that." Rachel added.
"They're jumpy!!! That's different from being morons!!" he yelled at us.
"Aww, poor baby." Rachel cooed insultingly.
"I think we touched a nerve." I commented.
"Oh knock it off will you?" Jessica said, watching Axis cautiously for any sign of the removal of sharp steel from sheath.
"You three, get down from here. I won't have you hanging around." he told us. And that was when the storm, quite suddenly and after three days, let up. Axis paled, seeming immediately to forget us. Rachel and I looked at each other with "I'm so evil" grins.
"What's the significance of this?" Jessica asked.
"It means the icky EYES are going to attack soon!!!!!!!" I shrieked.
"And that is good HOW?" she asked.
"A buncha these dolts here," she jerked a finger to all of the men standing in the town and on the wall, "are gonna die." She finished.
"Yep!" I squeaked, jumping up and down.
"Oh well that's good then." She agreed without sarcasm.
Just then two angry guards came over.
"You three!!! Civilians shouldn't be here!!! Let alone up on the wall." They attempted to inform us.
"We happen to not be civilians." Jessica stated.
"We're profits." Rachel said.
"Ooh! Nice Dogma reference." I congratulated Rachel.
"I know." She accepted immodestly.
"You know the Prophecy?" they asked us. "Or you made the Prophecy?"
"NO, it was a 'Dogma' reference, you morons!! God, these people are worse than Katie." Rachel berated them.
"Who's Katie?" they asked with curiosity.
"Katie was stolen by the evil school of Lighthouse, which also sent Stephen to torture us." I replied promptly.
"What's Lighthouse?"
"A private school that is very, very evil. It stole Katie." Jessica informed them. "That's all I know."
"How does a school steal a person?" They asked.
"It was her mom's fault!!! She sent Katie to Lighthouse because she's the principal or something." Rachel said.
"Enough about Katie." I said.
"What are you two doing up here?" Rachel demanded.
"We came to bring you three down. We don't know when the Skraelings are going to attack, and it's unsafe up here." They said apologetically.
"The EYES!!!" I yelped. "We can handle the ickies." I said.
"I don't want to go anywhere NEAR those things!" Jessica disagreed.
"I'll stab 'em with my pencil!!!!!!" I shrieked, drawing my pencil from out of my hair.
"You do that Ely." Rachel said with studied indifference.
"You'll have to forgive Ely. She has some steam to let off because the Vanilla Cokes are frozen." Jessica told them.
"What's a Vanilla Coke?" came the inevitable question.
"SEE?!?!" I screeched. "CULTURAL ILLITERATES!!!!!!!"
"ELY!!" Rachel warned. "BE NICE!!"
"Yes Rachel." I said sullenly.
"Good Ely." She cooed.
"Vanilla Coke is the most heavenly soft drink in the world!!!!" I told the two guards. "Vanilla Coke, my friends," I launched into my 'Ode to Vanilla Coke'.
"ELY! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rachel grabbed the back of my neck.
"No! Ow!" I wailed, cringing.
"Why don't we go down now?" Jessica reasoned. "It will be much nicer."
"Works for me." Rachel agreed, letting go of my neck.
"Mehvethehehehvidevet... swipth.." I mumbled little whiny sounds of feigned pain and distress.
"Is something wrong with her?" one of the guards asked concernedly.
"No, she's just being Ely. Ely, stop whining." Jessica told me, threatening.
"I will hit you both with the backpack!" I warned them.
"We're going down, Ely." Rachel informed me.
And so it was that we ended up stuck in a frigid (for other people, in any case), dilapidated town during the Skraeling attack that was to follow.
A/N Yeah, I know it took awhile... *SOB*! NO REVIEWERS EXCEPT PEOPLE I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT COOL!!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own it!! *sob* I don't!! I don't even own the books!! I just like to write fanfics!! DON"T SUE BECAUSE ALL I HAVE IS 5 DOLLARS AND A CREDIT CARD WITH ONE DOLLAR ON IT!! *breaks down*
"This is patently ridiculous." Jessica said.
"It's cool." Rachel corrected her.
"Yeah!! While everyone else gets frostbite, we're perfectly fine!!!!!!" I said. We were walking down the battlement of the fortified Gorkentown in a blizzard. And, as indicated, even in capri's and short sleeves, we were perfectly fine. I was a little hyper, and ever so slightly pissed off because both the Vanilla Cokes were frozen.
"Who goes there?" a wallguard challenged our unfamiliar voices.
"A tasty, tasty..." I whispered, imitating the Skraelings.
"A pretty, pretty..." Rachel joined in, grinning.
"SKRAELINGS ON THE WALL!!! 'WARE!!" the guard shouted.
"Whoa!! Not cool!!!!!!!!!!!" Jessica shrieked. "The icky toothy things on the wall? With us?"
Through the snow came the looming figure of the wall guard. After him came another shadowy outline.
"I should have known it would be you three." Axis said disgustedly.
"Us three what?" Rachel said innocently.
"So, um they're not Skraelings?" the wallguard asked cautiously.
"No, they're not!" Axis snapped. "Go and tell the others it was a false alarm." He ordered the wallguard. "I'll take your post for the meantime."
"Yes, sir!!" the wall guard saluted, and took off into the driving snow.
Axis glared at us.
"What were you thinking?" He asked.
"You think they were thinking?" Jessica retorted.
He considered.
"Not really."
"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT IT TAKES GREAT INTELLECT AND VOCAL CONTROL TO IMITATE THOSE LITTLE MONSTERS!!!!!!!!" I informed him.
"I couldn't have put it better myself." Rachel said. "Except for that himself over there probably doesn't have the intellect or vocal control to imitate them."
Himself glared at us.
"You've got the entire garrison in an uproar now, and all for the sake of your little tricks. What have you got to say for yourself?"
"It wouldn't have happened if that cretin hadn't fallen for it!!!!!!!" I screeched.
"Exactly. These people are morons. Nothing we can do about that." Rachel added.
"They're jumpy!!! That's different from being morons!!" he yelled at us.
"Aww, poor baby." Rachel cooed insultingly.
"I think we touched a nerve." I commented.
"Oh knock it off will you?" Jessica said, watching Axis cautiously for any sign of the removal of sharp steel from sheath.
"You three, get down from here. I won't have you hanging around." he told us. And that was when the storm, quite suddenly and after three days, let up. Axis paled, seeming immediately to forget us. Rachel and I looked at each other with "I'm so evil" grins.
"What's the significance of this?" Jessica asked.
"It means the icky EYES are going to attack soon!!!!!!!" I shrieked.
"And that is good HOW?" she asked.
"A buncha these dolts here," she jerked a finger to all of the men standing in the town and on the wall, "are gonna die." She finished.
"Yep!" I squeaked, jumping up and down.
"Oh well that's good then." She agreed without sarcasm.
Just then two angry guards came over.
"You three!!! Civilians shouldn't be here!!! Let alone up on the wall." They attempted to inform us.
"We happen to not be civilians." Jessica stated.
"We're profits." Rachel said.
"Ooh! Nice Dogma reference." I congratulated Rachel.
"I know." She accepted immodestly.
"You know the Prophecy?" they asked us. "Or you made the Prophecy?"
"NO, it was a 'Dogma' reference, you morons!! God, these people are worse than Katie." Rachel berated them.
"Who's Katie?" they asked with curiosity.
"Katie was stolen by the evil school of Lighthouse, which also sent Stephen to torture us." I replied promptly.
"What's Lighthouse?"
"A private school that is very, very evil. It stole Katie." Jessica informed them. "That's all I know."
"How does a school steal a person?" They asked.
"It was her mom's fault!!! She sent Katie to Lighthouse because she's the principal or something." Rachel said.
"Enough about Katie." I said.
"What are you two doing up here?" Rachel demanded.
"We came to bring you three down. We don't know when the Skraelings are going to attack, and it's unsafe up here." They said apologetically.
"The EYES!!!" I yelped. "We can handle the ickies." I said.
"I don't want to go anywhere NEAR those things!" Jessica disagreed.
"I'll stab 'em with my pencil!!!!!!" I shrieked, drawing my pencil from out of my hair.
"You do that Ely." Rachel said with studied indifference.
"You'll have to forgive Ely. She has some steam to let off because the Vanilla Cokes are frozen." Jessica told them.
"What's a Vanilla Coke?" came the inevitable question.
"SEE?!?!" I screeched. "CULTURAL ILLITERATES!!!!!!!"
"ELY!!" Rachel warned. "BE NICE!!"
"Yes Rachel." I said sullenly.
"Good Ely." She cooed.
"Vanilla Coke is the most heavenly soft drink in the world!!!!" I told the two guards. "Vanilla Coke, my friends," I launched into my 'Ode to Vanilla Coke'.
"ELY! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rachel grabbed the back of my neck.
"No! Ow!" I wailed, cringing.
"Why don't we go down now?" Jessica reasoned. "It will be much nicer."
"Works for me." Rachel agreed, letting go of my neck.
"Mehvethehehehvidevet... swipth.." I mumbled little whiny sounds of feigned pain and distress.
"Is something wrong with her?" one of the guards asked concernedly.
"No, she's just being Ely. Ely, stop whining." Jessica told me, threatening.
"I will hit you both with the backpack!" I warned them.
"We're going down, Ely." Rachel informed me.
And so it was that we ended up stuck in a frigid (for other people, in any case), dilapidated town during the Skraeling attack that was to follow.
A/N Yeah, I know it took awhile... *SOB*! NO REVIEWERS EXCEPT PEOPLE I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT COOL!!!!