Title: Now What, You Idiot? (02)

Author: Procella Nox-noctis

Category: Humour

Sub category: Humour

Keywords:Hermione, Draco, Common rooms

Summary: A potion gone wrong makes Hermione and Draco change bodies. Now, Hermione is in Draco's body and Draco in hers. To get out of this situation they must cooperate. Perhaps even become friends. But, what happens when each of them falls for the other's best friend? Blaise/Hermione, Draco/Harry pairings later on.

Sneek-Peek:

"Oh, that...he-he, it's nothing really. And what's wrong in being like Malfoy a little bit?"

"You mean besides the point that he's cocky, arrogant, idiotic, snarky—"

"Okay, I got it."

"—mean to everyone, prick, git—"

"Potter I'm warning you!"

"—stupid, annoying, concealed, spoiled brat, going from girl to girl—"

"I'M NOT STRAIGH!"

"Wha-?" Harry looked at him confused.

Oh, fuck. I screwed up. Okay, something believable, quick. "My hair. It's-it's not straight." They'd have to reinvent pathetic for you, Draco.

"Ah, right then." The boy looked at him suspiciously.

A/N: You know I feel so loved right now, don't you? Man I got so many reviews! I' cool, I'm cool, I'm cool, yeaaaaaah... anyway, back to point. I am going to do an alternate updating schedule, okay? Today this one, tomorrow TBotE, after tomorrow this one again, I believe you got the point. Also, I have nothing sure as of yet, but I think that someone wants to translate this story, cool huh? Now that everything is cleared up, let's move on. (I'm having a BIG writer's block right now...okay, it's gone.)

Two: It's a Common Problem

Hermione trotted down the halls of Hogwarts. Bless her luck, it was brilliant. Really, it was. She had changed bodies with Draco Malfoy, and had to act like him. Yuck! On top of that she had no idea were the Slytherin common room was, so she was lost. This looked like another Freaky Friday movie.

"Sequel's were never good." She mumbled, turning around at a corner and bumping into none other than—

"Draco. Where were you?" Blaise Zabini.

"Ermm...I was in the bathroom." No, not good, more cocky. "I was in the bathroom, of course. Do you KNOW how much it takes to clean this beautiful hair of mine? Of course you don't." oh, yeah, perfect. You sounded like a cocky gay. I told you it's perfect!

"You said you hate your hair, because it reminds you of your father." Blaise said sceptically.

"I did?" Malfoy hates his hair? Never would've guessed. Ooops, act like you know, quick. "Of course I do! I was just testing you. To see how much you knew me. I was taking a walk, honestly, with Granger's feelings in me I feel like walking for miles." Better. I hope.

"Hermione likes to walk?" Blaise's eyes glazed over, but Hermione didn't notice. "She wants to find out where she's going in this life, what she wants to do. So she walks until she finds her answers."

Wow, you sounded just like my...father. How come you know me so much? "Hey, hey, what's with the Granger talk? I have her feelings, it's enough Granger I want to hear about. Besides, how come you know her so much?"

"I study people. You're acting like you forget about this. Hermione is...well, she's spontaneous, but it's all a mask. If you look at her long enough, you see that when she laughs with her friends, she has the tiny spark of doubt in her eyes, like asking 'Will we really stick together till the end?' She does it all the time."

"You're really spooking me out. Honestly." No one ever realised that before.

Blaise grinned, showing her two rows of pearly whites her parents would've been proud of. "I spook everybody out. But anyway, do you still want to read Shakespeare?"

Yes, hell yes! "I suppose you could explain what it's all about. Granger was absolutely all over you when you said you read the Shakespeare." Okay, that was definitely something from Malfoy's mind.

"I think this will take a lot of explaining. Come on, let's go to the common room."

"Lead the way." She said, walking behind him to have a nice view of his bum. Yummy, positively yummy.

"Malfoy, I told you enough times, I hate it when you look at my arse. So stop it." he said half turning his neck towards her, so that she could see him half smiling.

"Can't help it." What? It's true! I can't! Where has he been all my life?

"One of these days, I'm going to forget you're my best friend and pummel you."

Hermione just smirked at him and followed him to a portrait of Salazar Slytherin. She had passed it two times at least. "How could I have been such an idiot?" she muttered under her breath.

In front of her Blaise raised an eyebrow. Interesting. He decided not to develop further on that thought, just said the password. "Cruentus Veritas."

Bastard Malfoy giving me the wrong password. God, I hate him! She lightened up when Blaise looked back at her. And followed him inside the common room. Her house for the next days. Bummer.

Twas not an easy thing for Draco Malfoy to look up to the fact that he'd spend most f the next days, at least he hoped it would only be days, in the company of lions. And that he'd have to act all Granger-ish. He snickered, Granger would have a really though time with his fangirls, and boys. He only hoped she'd be smart enough not to let Blaise realise the situation. Honestly, that boy was a crack at mystery solving; he'd figure them out in a second.

Right, now onto more important business, where was the Gryffindor common room? Was the password Granger gave him correct? Because he knew the one he gave her wasn't. Again, more snickering.

"Hermione!" he stopped in mid air upon hearing the name of the person whose body he was currently occupying. Then turned around slowly, and looked up. Bless me luck, it's Saint Potter.

Ahem. "Harry! Where were you? I've been looking through the whole castle for you."

"Hermione...are you okay?"

Draco stuck his nose up in the air. "Yes, why do you ask?"

Harry shook his head. "For a moment there I thought I saw Malfoy in you or something. I don't know you look different."

"Oh, that...he-he, it's nothing really. And what's wrong in being like Malfoy a little bit?"

"You mean besides the point that he's cocky, arrogant, idiotic, snarky—"

"Okay, I got it."

"—mean to everyone, prick, git—"

"Potter I'm warning you!"

"—stupid, annoying, concealed, spoiled brat, going from girl to girl—"

"I'M NOT STRAIGH!"

"Wha-?" Harry looked at him confused.

Oh, fuck. I screwed up. Okay, something believable, quick. "My hair. It's-it's not straight." They'd have to reinvent pathetic for you, Draco.

"Ah, right then." The boy looked at him suspiciously.

"So."

"So."

"Errr."

"Yep."

"Cool."

"I know."

What the fuck was that? A conversation or something? "Well, when you get more articulate, feel free to announce me."

Harry grinned down at him (being in Granger's body made him smaller), his green eyes twinkling.

"So...you wanted to see me for something, or did you just felt like jogging through Hogwarts for a while?" Draco asked again.

"Oh, it's for the jogging, trust me. Now seriously. You looked kind of weird today in Potions. Teasing Malfoy. NOT that I oppose the idea, I mean seeing him want to bash his head because of you was !"

Draco's eye twitched. Why you little, how DARE you gloat in my pathetic-ness? Hey, is that a word? "I was around. You know, walking. Want to head to the common room for a break before lunch comes?"

"Huh? Oh, no, sorry. I promised Michael I'd him by the lake, and I don't want to be late." He winked at him. "You know how much it costed me to get Michael to at least notice me, right?"

Draco gaped. "Michael who?"

"Corner. Honestly, Hermione, have you been listening to what I've told you the last few days?"

"Michael Corner is GAY?" Okay, why was I not informed? I mean Corner is boyfriend material here, people!

"No! He's not! What's wrong with you it's like you're no you today!"

"Sorry, I've had a crappy day. Do go on."

"Michael's dad is the vice president of Puddlemere United, and I've been trying to convince Corner junior to convince his dad to accept Ron in the team."

Weasley in the Puddlemere United? HA! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHAMWAHAHAHA! NOT A CHANCE! "Oh yeah, that's right you told me last night. Okay, then I guess you have to go. No wait, does this mean you aren't coming with me to the common room?"

"Yes that's what it means. Hermione I really think you should rest, maybe sleep a little. You're not you." Harry said leaving for the main entrance.

Of COURSE I'm not Hermione! I'm Draco! I'd get some sleep if only I'd know where to go to the common room! Oh, hey, isn't that the Patil sister, Pricotti or something? "Hey, wait up, hey! You! Errm, girl! Wait!" Why is nobody listening to me? Damn Potter. Damn Granger. Damn Pricotti too, while you're at it!

E/N: This was ackward. Terribly sorry for the short chapter, but it was either this or waiting four more days until I got inspired. Blame it on the on line Manga, I got addicted! I still hope no one gets confused by this. I tried to give Draco more realism, not throw him to his OOC doom. Tell me if I did it right? I think he's rather...giddy. (Shudder) People from FAP told me not to make Draco instantly good. Gasp! I couldn't! Draco is sexier while being a bad ass. So, no, he won't be good from the beginning, but he won't be I-plan-on-controlling-the-world-evil either. He'll be in the middle somehow. Like I'm-mean-but-I-really-do-have-a-heart! And as for Hermione, she might be OOC but it's only because she's trying—and failing—to act Malfoy-ish, and only until Blaise discovers, if he does discover. Muahahahahaha!

Thank you to:

Wood-n-snape. Yes, I know, but hopefully Blaise will become an important character soon, revealed as Hermione's secret boyfriend, and then more stories like these will follow. Or I'll wake up from my trip to la la land. Either way.

SunshineGirl03. thank you, it's always nice to hear pleasant words.

Blink182rawk. I think that band rocks as well, I used to love them, I still do, but at the time I have other favourites. Yes, Malfoy is good at everything. Malfoy: Of course I am, I'm a Malfoy after all.

Aine Rowan. Thank you, witty banter is my speciality. Just check any other fics I have and you'll see what I mean. I'll try to do my best with the updating thingy, it all depends on my inspiration.

My dearest, dearest Kori. Well, neither of them because if you read closer it was Snape who first found out, just take another look at the last chapter, you'll see. But from the other three...who do you reckon? Again, I thank you for reading it even if you don't like slash much. To be honest, neither did I but I wanted to try it, you know, try and change my opinion on it. Plus, slash get more reviews!

Ura. Of course, I'll keep writing if people keep reviewing, and I'm inspired.

Nyoka Li. That's the point! As Hermione, Draco will get to know Harry, and...well there's going to be a huge twist, you'll see. Same for Blaise and Hermione.

Fantasy101. Thanks. Sure thing. Ditto.

Cheer4life2005. Thanks. It was funny having Hermione tease Draco and not the other way around, right.

Tygrressheart. Who's your sister so I can thank her for getting me another reviewer? And about the Blaise love thing-y, are you psychic or something?

Liliku. Yes, Blaise's misunderstood portraying make all from the HMS O&U suffer, cry, and furthermore our eyes twitch in fury. People, Blaise Zabini is not a slut! Darned, guys! I mean, if Rowling would've wanted us to know Zabini was an evil person she'd have mentioned it at least once. But she didn't, which is why I think he's the loner and nicer snake. Because if he were a slut, the books would mention the someone went out with him. Right? I'm dissgressing. Wait, this is important: BLAISE ISN'T A GIRL EITHER! JKR said so herself, if you'd check her sites. No worry, I'm not going to portray Blaise like some others do. Keep reviewing, k?

Anonymus. Okay.

Dumbledude. Sure thing!

Sheree. I absolutely loved this review. Especially the last two words. Fits the situation perfectly. You had me laughing with this. Thanks.

JeanB. Yes, well, you know me, I like to differ. I hope to centrate on that pair more too, seeing as it's my first slash. And yeah, I've read the interview, and I agree with you 100%. Either he's the nice Slytherin or he's the geeky one. JKR mentioned Theo Nott being the loner, maybe Blaise is his friend or something, you know, maybe they understand each other without words, in a totally none gayish way. But I can hardly wait until she reveals him to us. I do fear that if he's bad, my heart will ache, and even more if he'll die--heaven forbid. But if he's bad, we'll find a way to make him better, like all good authors do.

Yeoldcrazy1. Okay, thank you!

MissDramatic. I ALWAYS have good ideas. Mwahahahaha! Like someone once said, one day I'll be taking over the world with my fics and you won't know what hit you. Either that, or someone will get some modesty into me. I still say it's not my forte!

Ever1. Oky doky! God I'm a dork, huh?

Ah well, and that's it, just read the notes, they're important, although annoying. Do it for me? I'm pouting by the way. Okay, well, thank you!