Title: Now What, You Idiot? (04)
Author: Procella Nox-noctis
Category: Humour
Sub category: Humour
Keywords: Waking up, gossips
Summary: A potion gone wrong makes Hermione and Draco change bodies. Now, Hermione is in Draco's body and Draco in hers. To get out of this situation they must cooperate. Perhaps even become friends. But, what happens when each of them falls for the other's best friend? Blaise/Hermione, Draco/Harry pairings later on.
Sneek-Peek: A meep! of indignation. A glare in Blaise's direction.
That morning probably the entire Hogwarts could hear the voice of Draco Malfoy thunder out a "Tarantallegra."
A/N: I'm sorry!!! I'm really really, really sorry!!! I've just barely started school, already had three exams, and I really want to stab myself with a fork. Sorry for the delay, but you shall just have to get used to this, because you know, when you're in school life's a bore but you're still pressed on time. anyway, lets' just get this over with.
Three: As He Woke The Sleeping Beauty
Hermione really didn't want to open her eyes. By opening her eyes, she'd confirm that she was really in Draco's body and it hadn't been a nightmare. If she didn't open her eyes, she wouldn't have to face Blaise Zabini, of whom she had dreamed that night. If she kept her eyes wide shut, then she wouldn't have to try and become Malfoy' friend, and she wouldn't have to bear Zabini's mocking on her situation. The bastard. Nope, if she didn't open her eyes she'd be perfectly—
"Late for Arithmancy." Blaise's voice was all it took to get her wake. Well, it was rather the phrase he had just said. Hermione jumped out of bed.
"WHAT? I'm late, oh, no, I'm never late. No, no, no, no." she mumbled going through the bundle of clothes which belonged to Malfoy. She really didn't want to wear Malfoy's clothes, but there'd be no option. She finally managed to get her, Malfoy's uniform on, and turned to look at Blaise. Who was smirking. And she really didn't like that smirk. Nope, not at all.
"What, what's wrong?" she snapped at him after a few seconds. Blaise just started laughing. Hermione's stomach was immediately turned into a puddle of goo.
Zabini just laughed harder at her confusion. He threw his head backwards, laughing hardly, and Hermione could see his Adam's apple sticking out sexily. She controlled the urge to kiss that spot, right there and then. But it would've been nice to see his reaction on that.
"Your face, god Granger, your face! Man, I always do this to Malfoy, but the face you put on was just...that was a picture moment." He said whipping tears from his eyes.
"I'm pleased to have entertained you. No, wait. Scratch that, I'm not at all pleased. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a class to attend. Good day." she snapped.
"No you don't."
"Yes I do."
"You don't. I woke you up an hour early."
Silence.
"Granger, is it healthy to have your mouth hanging so low?"
Silence.
"Earth to Granger?"
A meep! of indignation. A glare in Blaise's direction.
That morning probably the entire Hogwarts could hear the voice of Draco Malfoy thunder out a "Tarantallegra."
Blaise laughed uncontrollably, effect caused by the curse Granger had placed on him. The person in question was standing above him, smirking smugly while he rolled on the floor with laughter. After a few minutes, the curse was lifted.
"Dio mio, that was very Slytherin of you, Granger." He breathed out.
"Next time you want to wake me earlier just to have a laugh at my expression, I suggest you think twice." She snapped at him.
"Hmmm...you know, if you wouldn't be occupying Draco's body, I'd ravish you here." He said, sitting down on his bed. While Hermione was yet again mouth opened, he turned towards the other empty beds of the bedroom.
This got Hermione's attention. "Where is everybody?"
"Well, Crabbe and Goyle probably got up early to get stuffed in the Great Hall, and Theo Nott prefers sleeping on the couch than his bed."
Hermione lifted a blond (Malfoy's) eyebrow. "Well, then. Nott won't have problems in his married life."
"He will certainly not. I guess we could head for breakfast, now that we're up and about." He said turning towards the door. Before he could get far, a hand grabbed him and turned him around. Two hands grabbed his shirt's lapels.
"Zabini, this is a warning. Wake me up before nine again and you will suffer." Hermione growled at him. In that moment, Blaise Zabini wondered whether he should reconsider his sexual orientation. He just couldn't for the life of him, figure out why he was so turned on by this current situation. He really didn't like boys, honestly, but Hermione was worth ravishing for that threat, whether she was in Draco's body or not. And that was not a good thing. Blaise didn't go around kissing boys. Draco did, but Blaise didn't. Of course this could've been caused because Hermione had been the centre of his attention for more than enough years, and no matter in what body she was, she'd always have his...lust. Yes, lust. Because love was a rather strong word. And Blaise wasn't prepared for it.
He snapped out of it when Hermione released his shirt and stepped out from the room. He shook his head, trying to recover his mind, and followed the girl out. Or boy. Whatever.
They reached the Great Hall, and Blaise had to admit to himself that Hermione acted rather well as Draco. Considering that he hadn't told her anything. But he'd take care of that. And he would get information and a cure for the situation they were in, and turn Hermione back into Hermione, body and all, and then he'd ravish her. Yes, that was a brilliant plan.
Draco's mouth stopped opened over his mug when Hermione entered the Great Hall. Don't fuck it up. Please, Granger, don't fuck it up. His gaze followed her to where she sat down at the Slytherin table. Next to her was Blaise, looking slightly put out, his brows furrowed in concentration. Suddenly, the raven-haired Slytherin smiled as if he'd just thought of a good plan, and proceeded to eat.
Draco shrugged, turning back to his breakfast, and resuming his day so far. He had managed to find the Gryffindor common room, and had shuddered at the sight of the pale pink girl's bedroom. But, thankfully, Granger wasn't fond of that colour either, which meant that she had charmed her part of the dorm to a soft purple. He lived through the night, and caught up with all the gossip around Hogwarts thanks to his roommates. He knew, for example, that Susan Bones had fallen helplessly in love with Terry Boot, and sent him love letters, which the Ravenclaw threw away. He now knew that Ernie Macmillan had comforted Susan Bones after Terry Boots turned her down, and now they were dating. He knew Hannah Abbot was mad at Susan because she had taken away his boy. And so on and so forth.
This morning he woke up, and discovered Parvati was a soft-snorer. Then he dug into Granger's closet and found a clean uniform. Now, he wasn't really into girl's clothes, but it had to be done, so he bared it. He had almost shortened the uniform's skirt, but stopped at the last moment remembering the Gryffindor's threat. He discarded the thought reluctantly. He thought it really would've been a surprise for the entire Hogwarts to actually see the legs Granger hid behind her long skirt, and her body. But, he wasn't into girls, so he didn't find himself attracted. He wouldn't have minded seeing Blaise drool, though.
After dressing, he walked to the common room, where he met up with Harry and irrelevant-annoying-red-haired-creature-who-dared-called-himself-a-boy. They went to the Great Hall, where the annoying-red-head-who-was-in-love-with-Granger-how-pathetic proceeded to stuff his mouth and explain the theories of something-Draco-didn't-really-payed-attention-to-because-he-didn't-want-to. Harry just stood beside Draco and occasionally nodded at Ron. Then the bomb fell. Harry-the-boy-who-lived-to-be-attentive asked his friend, the red head.
"So, Ron, heard you and Padma Patil are dating."
Weasley turned redder than his head, and chocked on his food. Draco waited to see if he'd choke to death on his food. He didn't have luck. Weasley cleared his voice and answered.
"Yes, well, we've barely started, last night. She's really something. Something really different from what she was in our fourth year." He smiled. Draco shuddered. Harry shrugged.
Now, Draco was faced with a new problem. Weasley wasn't interested in Hermione anymore. Problem was, should he tell the girl or shouldn't he? He decided to let her squirm, and keep her in the dark. So he wouldn't tell her.
"Hermione? We're going to be late for Transfiguration." Harry's voice sounded from Draco's left. In concern, Harry placed a hand on her shoulder. There, the spark again. Draco looked up at Harry and nodded. He never noticed Potter's eyes were so green before. He turned back to drink his last gulp of coffee left when Hermione caught his gaze from the Slytherin table, where she sat, in his body. She looked from him to Harry, lifted a blond eyebrow and smirked at him. Draco tried to pay no mind, but he did have to admit Granger had done a rather good impression of him.
"What's up with Malfoy?" Harry asked the boy.
"Nothing. Why? Nothing's wrong with Malfoy. Isn't he perfect?" Draco replied, nearly wanting to kill himself for the slip of tongue. Nearly. Potter probably thought it had been a sarcastic answer, so he just shrugged and stood up from the table. Draco followed and Weasley followed Draco.
And so, Harry, Ron and Draco-in-Hermione's-body went to Transfiguration class together. On the outside, they just seemed like the Golden Trio going for class, but Harry and Ron would've flipped a disk if they'd knew they were going next to Malfoy in reality. But that, Draco thought mischievously, wouldn't happen too soon.
E/N: I know, I know, short, but I can't really think of more, and yeah. Sorry if I made Ron a bit of a jerk, but remember, Draco doesn't like him (this will change in time, I think) so he calls him things. I loved this chapter, considering it was a spur of a moment thing. But. Whatever. Well, I hope you liked it.
Personal thank yous and marriage proposals:
Cmere1: I thank you for thinking so highly of me! I know, boo low ratings. Unfortunately the action will come...later on. Tiz all I can say. Don't be fooled by the flourished writing though, in the end I'm just a silly little 15 year old girl, with loads of hidden sarcasm. And sometimes writer's block as well. But thanks for the wonderful words.
Kori. I don't know about Draco having it better. He'll be the cause of several conflicts, as you'll see sometime soon. Thanks for sticking up here. I finally finished a hurricane based story, which I should post up at fictionpress soon. Yup.
Lost angel92. I try do the endings in a funny way always, that's why I always end it with Draco. I'm glad I made you laugh.
Heather. 10 times? Oh wow. Umm...thank you. hides bright blush
Mind game. Well I hate keeping you waiting, so here it is.
Ronslilprincess. Thanks for the kind words. I'm sure that if I'd spent more time rechecking the text for mistakes, I wouldn't need a beta. I'm sorry for saing no, but I really hate depending on a person to put chapters up. but I am most grateful for the generous offer, and maybe in the future I'll change my mind. It's just that I'm too eager to get chapters up that I leave some mistakes, and my Work checker is going bezerk most of the times. But thank you. I really hope you still read this, even though it's not beta-read and I've refused your offer. Will you?
Kaeera. Thanks for the suggestion, but I don't hink I'm up to that kind of challenge. I think I'll do a Rouroni Kenshin or a Wolf's Rain sometime soon, though. But thank you. Mind pointing out that x-over to me so that I can read it? thanks.
Ura. Hurrah! You reviewed again. Yeah, it's Russian, but also Romanian. I should know, I'm from Romania myself. But, whatever. Thank you for the review.
Juxtaposed. Yeah, it's better if you leave it at that, rather than writing a squealy review. Dunno how I'd have responded to that. But thanks for sparing me the effort. And for the review as well.
AJ586. okay, sorry for the delayed update, but school started and I was on writer's block, all that was on my mind was the Napoleonic era. And I now despise Napoleon. Period. Thanks for the review.
Alea. Thanks.
Lucia, oh cracked one. Thank yous.
Zoomaphonethepirate. Thanks, I like that you liked it.
Phoenixdreams. Blaise kind of got caught up in the moment. It's Hermione's fault. Really. He's not gay. And we all love him for that. But I'm glad you liked it. hopefully this chapter cleared a few doubts as to Blaise's behaviour.
JeanB. Well, I'll threaten your muse to return then? CanIcanIcanI? Heh. Thanks for the utterly large review, I should ask you to marry me for that. But then we'd be on writer's block forever, and where would that lead to? Thanks for being a reader of this idiotic fic. You rock.
Sabi4ever. Fluffy, eh? You should've read my fluff-charged stories, and that's where the fluff is. Thanks for the review and ovation. You rock as well.
Aruca. Gracias. Muchas gracias. Demasiadas gracias para poderlas escibir aqui. Alli viene otro capitulo. Ya hablaremos algun dia. Ciao!
Brittany Williams. I shall try, but i don't trust my e-mail, so it might not get there on time. Hope you liked this one as well.
Tygressheart. Yeah, I'm starting to get a bit fond of slash myself now, after writing it. Draco is oblivious to anything besides his own house. You'll see further on. thanks you, though.
darkGurly819. Hey you read all my stories. Wow! Thank you for everything.
Further on, might I point I have a fictionpress account, and a story I'm proud of? Mind reading those? Link in the bio. Thank you. Now, just wait for the next one, ne?