.:Tuesday:.
High-School Trauma, Part One
High-school is interesting. Fangirls, evil teachers, vampire principles, food poisoning – hehehe – I'm getting ahead of myself.
Today, Vincent went to high-school. Why? Well, because the 'high-school' is more of a slave encampment, but we didn't know that at the time. Apparently age doesn't matter for the 'high-school' guise. So anyways, I annoyed Vincent at the bus stop, pointing out why he should kill each kid there.
-Fatty over there? Yeah, he looks like he would be tasty. And that girl, if you killed her, you might prevent 'Oops I Did It Again' getting stuck in your head. See the queer kid, the one with the big head? Yeah, he has that weird strand of hair zigzagging behind him, and is wearing a black coat. He's a freak… believes aliens are trying to take over the world. Do we REALLY need someone like him to… TAINT human and demonic society? No. And those two old men in the corner… we don't need to hear redneck and hillbilly songs on the bus!-
Yes, 'the one with the big head' is actually Dib… from somewhere. Lame, but yeah. Hojo say he's from 'the Invader Zim'… whoever that is. Hojo knows a lot of weird stuff (but he probably makes it all up), although it is still fun to talk with him over a 'cuppa teeea', as those Mideel-ians say. Invader Zim is an anime DVD
What DO people of Mideel call themselves? Mideelan? Mideelish? Mideelench? Mideelicans? Peeeeeeepull? Oh well. My personal favorites – Nibelheimicans and Wutai'ins!
Any how, the bus came. All the school children ran onto the bus, talking about dumb stuff like last's night homework, and "Oh m gosh! Did YOU know that Lizzie's, like, going out with Fred?! I didn't know that, like, she broke up, with like, Bawb! Like, what a scandal!"
Stupid little children… I can't wait for the day of their extinction.
All the kids on the bus sang "The teachers want to kill us all! To our dooms! Yay for brain washin'! The food is poisoned what and all! Let's waste our lives on homework!" (To the tune of 'The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round')
We finally arrived at Eebil's Brainwashing Teaching Academy for All Young and Tasty Able High-Schoolers! It looks like a prison – the walls are seventy feet high with multiple layers of barbed wire on top, and thirty feet deep (no hope of digging through THAT granite!). Inside, you pass through a few not-as-thick walls, all heavily guarded with police women, jeeps, and heavy artillery. Then there's the watch towers and spot-lights crisscrossing the grounds, void of grass or other life. The main building, at least 700 yards far from every wall, is a towering complex that one can easily get lost in, with a labyrinth of hallways with the only way out being via secret passageways. There are at least 10 security cameras per room, and as many awake guards watching on the other end. No windows or bars are permitted anywhere in the complex.
Another thing I noticed – no busses go out. They just go in. Vincent has been sent to HIS DOOM! I'm happy, of course!
So when we were escorted off of the bus (the steps ended in a door… we didn't even see daylight at all! ) we were sent into a small chamber to the side. An ugly old lady stood waiting for us, wearing a black robe and long brown hair.
No, wait – it's an ugly old GUY!
"I am one of the teachers here at Eebil's Academy, Professor Vexen. The reason you are in this room, is to learn the standard rules of Eebil's Academy, and more indirectly, become wiser like us smart adults.
"Rules: You will always address your elders as 'Sir' or 'Professor' with the appropriate suffix ending. You will never be tardy for class, or skip class for that matter. When food is served, you eat it all, and in silence. No food-fights will be allowed. Food is a necessity, but also a privilege that we may take away from you. Sleep also. You will sleep when we say to, and not partake in pillow-fights or the like. When we repeat the Morning Thanks, you will repeat it with everyone else. You will not turn in incomplete or tardy homework. No fangirls or fanclubs of any kind. And when addressing The Master, you address him as 'You Eebilness,'
"Failure to comply with the basic rules listed and explained above will result in punishment. The punishment varies case to case, and is decided by the teacher of the class. Punishments vary from humiliation, to more work, to privileges like food and water taken away. They may even turn into torture, slavery, mutation, and death. Does the class understand?"
The class stares wide-eyed in fear at Vexen.
Vexen sighs without emotion. "It seems that we have a misunderstanding. When I ask you a question, you all answer the question. Say 'We understand, Professor Vexen' now."
The class replies "We understand, Professor Vexen."
"Good." Vexen's compliment seems more like giving them sewage for supper, but it is better than nothing. "Now you will all be sent to the Great Hall where you will bow to your Master and receive further instruction. Guards! Chain class 666 together!"
Yes… 666 as in the devil's number… HOW IRONIC! HAHAHA!
Guards come in, and they chain everyone together, clamping 'handcuffs' on the necks of the children, and Vincent included.
Vexen nods with approval. "You are Class 666. You have the liberty of being chained together, so no one escapes. The chains are placed at your neck so that they can not be removed. Guards! Take them to the Great Hall and The Eebil Master!" credited to 'Eebil Daddy'!
Class 666 is taken away. They enter a huge dome-like room, seemingly carved into the ground. It is lit by glowing orbs, since there is no other apparent light source. The class, about 26 kids, all form a line before an altar 10 feet up.
"BOW TO THE MASTER, EEBIL AS HE IS! BOW, RAG-CHILDREN! YOUR MASTER APPROACHES!" The voice booms out of a cleverly hidden amplifier. The students bow on the ground. Those that don't are shoved down by electrical spears from the guards, who then kneel.
The shadows in the room are on the altar, since all the glow-orbs (like torches… but different) are on the far away walls. The shadows start to move, growing into a pile of darkness. They gather and take form, turning into a demon very similar to myself, minus a handsome tail, and bigger horns. The demon is quite interesting. Since he is made of shadows, half the time, it looks like his eyes and teeth are only there, or that he's missing an arm and leg, since they all blend with the shadows behind him.
"Bow to your Master, you UnGrateful rags! Bow to Him!" The demon bares his teeth menacingly, and speaks in a low growl. Class 666 bowed, and those who didn't satisfy the guards meet the electric spears of doom.
"Your Master has taken you UnGrateful rags in, when He could have chosen not to! He has spared your Lives, so your Lives are now in His Hands, to do as He Sees fit. Now Repeat the Morning Thanks. You will notice that your Master has Taught it to you rags, using His Demonic Powers. CHANT!"
The kids follow suit, even Vincent, chanting to the tyrannical demon.
"Thank you, Our Master,
You saved our Lives,
Pathetic as they may be.
Thank you, Our Master,
You provide food and nourishment,
Water and sleep.
Thank you, Our Master,
For bestowing upon us,
Your great Knowledge and Skill
Our Mighty Master,
Eebil and Demonic,
Who kills with will
Thank you, Our Master,
For sparing our Pathetic Lives"
"Good, good. It seems that you are obedient ones. You have pleased me, and therefore receive sleep as a reward. You will be shown to your meager room shortly. As custom for new arrivals, you shall not eat or drink tonight. Only the strong may survive here."
"AY! WHY DO WE GOTTA LISSEN T' SUM SMART ASS FER TH' REST OF OUR LIVES?! I WANT SUM WATER – NO ONE'G GUNNA TELL ME IF I CIN HAVE IT OR NOT!" A small kid speaks.
"WHO AMONG YOU DARE TO DEFY YOUR MASTER?!" His Eebilness yells.
(I think I'll have Vincent escape this place tomorrow… in PART TWO! I kinda like 'His Eebilness'… wonder what his number is… )
-Demon Chaos
(I do not own FF7, Invader Zim, and Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, any of their characters, or anything like that. I do recommend that everyone reading this sees Invader Zim at one point or another, and plays Chain of Memories... R&R)