.:Wednesday:.

Carnival… or CarKNEEval!

Vincent had just woken up, and was eating Cheerios… (hehe… Cheerios. hehe…) when he heard a loud smash. "SHIT!" A few moments later, the door blasted open, and Yuffie and Tifa strode in. "Sorry 'bout the window! Y-you aren't gonna hurt me, are you, Vinnie!" Yuffie clutches her hands to her face, hopping on her feet as if the ground were lava or something.

Vincent sighed. "It's Vincent." Yes, he's maybe said that for the umpteenth time… however long THAT is…

Yuffie ignored the remark, and calmed down as she saw that Vincent meant no harm. "Y'know, I DID break the window. I broke it on PURPOSE. ..Y-Yeah."

"Hello Vincent!" Tifa walks over the charred door. "Oh, about the door, Yuffie used Fire3 on it on accident… we'll buy a new one."

"NO WE WON'T!" Yuffie, enraged, glares at Tifa, telling her with her eyes to be quite.

"You don't need to buy me my …66th door." Vincent sighs inwardly.

Y'know, it REALLY bothers me how Vincent always 'sighs this' and 'sighs that'. GEEZ! Why not shrug, or GET ANGRY, or make Yuffie buy a new door! He's such a softie and it bothers me! RRRRR!

Anyways, Tifa was telling Vincent that they all wanted to go to the Carnival. Of course, Vincent, being 'the angsty bishie', couldn't go, creating the drama of the day.

"Oh, come on Vincent! What's the worst that could happen?" Tifa pleads.

"Yeah! Are you scared of roller coasters or something? I'm not!" Yuffie twirls her Shuriken around.

"You can't even go on a roller coaster…" Vincent points out.

"SHUTTUP! I'LL GO ON A ROLLER COASTER TODAY! AND YOU'LL WATCH ME!" Yuffie grabs Vincent, and attempts to drag him away, but it fails. "Come ON!" She yells, cusses, and does a few funny gestures.

Finally Vincent – with a sigh, of course – decides to go to the carnival with the two girls, just so they'd leave him alone… if that makes any sense.

(I feel like writing present tense… I mean, I AM writing this as they speak, not later at night, like I usually do.)

After a half-hour walk, at which every squirrel is pointed at by Yuffie, and every cute boy has Tifa's number, the three friends arrive at McBarphaluts' Crrrazy Carkneeval. "McBarf-a-lot's Crazy Carnival?" Vincent sighs, knowing the place, and its affinity for killing its customers. Yes, I said killing. Its customers.

"It's McBarphaluts' Crrrazy Carkneeval! Say it, don't spray it!" Yuffie says matter-of-factly.

"'AY! IT'S #(&)# VINCENT, )#(& YUFFIE, AND TIFA! )!(&#(#&!" Cid waves a beer-hugging hand at the three, and Vincent notices Cloud, Cait Sith, and Barret at a table with Cid.

Cait Sith squeaks. "Now we cin aaaall have fon! Evrywun's heah!"

"Where is Nanaki?" Vincent asks, as the red beast isn't there.

"Nanaki?" Cloud looks up from his nachos and laughs. "Nanaki is getting more cotton candy… he loves the stuff!"

Barret glances at Cloud. "AY! YOU GOT MAH NASHOS!"

"It's nachos, Barret, not naSHows!" Yuffie sighs and shakes her head.

"THEY IS NASHOS, YOUFFY! AND NASHOS IS YUMMY! ANNYWUN GOWT SUM HAWTDAWGS WITH KAYCHUP! I FEEL HUUUUUUNGRY LIKE A GOREELLA! YUM YUM! RAAAAWR!"

Everyone stares at Barret, as security takes him away. "AY! CLOWD STILL GOTS M' NASHOS! SECURITY! THEFT! THEFT! 'EE TOOK MAH NASHOS!"

Red XIII comes in time to see Barret being taken away. "What's going on!" He has a big grin on his face, and is eating some pink cotton candy with delight. "Mm! This cloud-like candy is exceptional!"

"Barret's being taken away for being a looooooud mouth." Yuffie says, in a tattletale voice.

"Yuffie…" Tifa says, a mother's reprimand in her voice.

All of a sudden, a loud voice booms over the speaker. "hello. i am McBarphalut's, and welcum to McBarphaluts' Crrrazy Carkneeval."

'He has bad spelling when he SPEAKS?' Cloud whispers with awe.

"we all hope that you will enjoy your stay here. if you don't, we will kill you and torture you. you will be killed quickly, and without pain, if you enjoy your stay and look happy on the cameras that will be sent to the shinra people, that give me funding. now, anyone over 6 feet tall will be taken away, because you guys cant go on the rides, and we don't want moopy people standing around at the picnic tables. You will be all summoned at the Eating Gallery in one hour. ENJOY YOUR STAY AT McBARPHALUTS' CRRRRRRRAZY CARKNEEVAL!" The last line is said with happiness, while guards come into view.

Before Vincent can do anything, the nine-foot tall guards grab him roughly and chain him into a chain gang, kind like at McEebil's Academy. They drag him, and everyone else 6 feet, away into a dark dungeon near the Eating Gallery, in the center of the carnival.

"This is an amusement park, not a carnival…" Vincent mutters.

But a guard heard him. "'Ay! Does ay-mouse-mint start with a 'c'? Nuh-uh. Car-knee-val does, so this is a car-knee-val. Also, we eat yuu here, we don't ay-mouse-you. We cin be sewed fer mis-add-verr-ty-zing, yuu know."

I took control of Vincent, and he turned into none other than the dashing demon, ME!

Once the transformation was done, I broke the chains shackling me with my powerful claws, and turned on the guards. They were fat and purple, but still tasted as good as buffalo… or sheep.

Flying over the carnival, I destroyed it with my fire-spewing abilities. Amazingly, Tifa, Cloud, Yuffie, Barret, Red XIII, Cid, and Cait Sith all survived. That night, I bought a really cool pimp hat off of some small red mage, and had lamb for dinner.

Demon Chaos

(I do not own FF7 or any of its characters)