What Empty Places are For

Chapter six

As Boromir sat, reading to his children with Pippin leaning against him he thought of what Pippin had said about empty places and considered what exactly empty places were for. Why must people have them? And then he considered that he had had a huge empty place in his life from the time he was just a boy, when his mother died. It was then that their father had begun to fall into darkness and turn away. Then when he did turn back, the boys often wished he had not, for Denethor seemed to be able to care about them when they pleased him, but all woe to them when they did not. Boromir had begun to feel he had no choice but to always be the best at everything, for Denethor seemed to take it out on Faramir if Boromir fell short.

The empty place was big and dark in that long-ago boy's life. The little comfort Boromir found was in Faramir. The pair was inseparable, though they had quite different personalities. Faramir was a little more like Denethor while Boromir seemed to have his mother's spirit. Finduilas had been raised on Dol Amroth. While she was a gentle soul, she also had a side to her that was used to a certain amount of freedom. Her coming to Gondor had spelled out her fate, for in Gondor she was bound by the great stone walls and the fear that grew daily and steadily from Mordor. She had begun to give in to despair.

Year by year it weighed her down until, in her sadness, she was unable to find any peace, to sleep or to eat. Her condition had worsened over time until at last she died when Faramir was almost five and Boromir almost ten. Where once a mother and father had been, Boromir was left with a sad, bitter and angry father and a small brother who needed love and comfort, and Denethor had been unable to afford either boy either of those things.

The brothers had grown up affluent, influential and very, very lonely. Faramir had filled the emptiness for the most part, and where he could not, Boromir's studies and training filled up the time, if not the empty place. As the brothers grew up they spent more time apart, what with all their duties and of course carousing with their men and pursuing the gentle sex, but they had not grown less close.

Boromir had never gotten used to leaving his brother, even though both were quite accomplished soldiers. His one comfort was the thought of returning home to find his brother either there or soon to be there. But then he had gone to Rivendell, and so many remarkable things had happened. Some time while in Rivendell those two rascals Merry and Pippin had captured his imagination. Some time on the way back to Gondor a remarkable friendship had begun. It had helped to fill the place where Boromir was used to having Faramir.

He couldn't recall exactly when Pippin had started leaning against him, but he could recall that once he had turned to speak to Pippin and almost called him "Faramir." It had happened several times, in fact. Pippin would tease him about being an old Man with a bad memory. Boromir knew that Pippin found comfort when he leaned on his big friend, though he never spoke of it. Also unspoken was the fact that Boromir had found comfort, too. He still missed his brother, but being with Merry and Pippin helped so much, and when Pippin would lean against him, he would recall how Faramir had done the same thing when he was just a small boy.

It is one thing to feel grateful because you have pleased a demanding father that was more Lord than father. It was another entirely to feel grateful because your little brother showed you how much he needed you. That had made Boromir feel loved, wanted and needed far more than any praise. This was all too rare in Boromir's life, and he cherished it so much. The brothers had grown to depend on each other, but Boromir always tried to give more than he took, because Faramir was younger and didn't remember what their mother was like as well as Boromir did.

When he had begun to become closer to Merry and Pippin, Boromir found the feelings so similar to those he had for Faramir. And Pippin was so young and eager to show what he was made of, so curious and hungry for experience that he reminded Boromir of his brother quite a bit. The halfling would lean against him, and if Boromir closed his eyes, why that could be Faramir when he was small. The empty place where Faramir was supposed to be wasn't so empty

Boromir had paused in his reading without realizing it. His children sat patiently and waited for their father to take the thread of the story up again. That was when Pippin had wakened, startling Boromir and making him drop the book. As the laughter died down, he could hear Pippin mumbling the word ignorance repeatedly. Boromir's brow knitted.

"Are you well, Pippin?" Boromir asked.

"I'm fine, really," answered Pippin. "It's only that the dream reminded me of something and now I can't think what it was."

"Perhaps it will come to you yet. Tell me, would you like to rise early and go hunting in the Old Forest? Perhaps a little quiet time in the woods will do us both good, and with any luck we'll kill a deer or a boar. Then we can give the meat to the poor, for a Yule Feast. Many could otherwise go without a feast of their own, and the baked goods are well for the children, but a bit of meat will do them better, I think."

"A splendid idea! Yes, a day outdoors would do us both good, I think. And with that, I think I will retire. Good night and sweet dreams to you all." Pippin gave Boromir a playful cuff on the chin. "Perhaps with me to help you out, we might bag more than just one beast, Boromir. Heaven knows you Big Folk are a noisy lot. I don't see how any of you could creep up on a stone."

"However do we manage without hobbits to show us the way, I shall never know." Boromir said dryly.

"Neither shall I," Pippin said. His green eyes sparkled, and for a brief moment he seemed his old mischievous and cheerful self. The moment passed. The sadness settled back around the small form like a wet black cloak. He sighed. "Good night, all!" Pippin said with a forced smile. He retired to the room he shared with the boys.

They were up before dawn and in the Old Forest before the day was more than a silvery glimmer. Pippin with his bow and Boromir with a bow and a spear trekked deep into the forest. Before long they found a deer trail and some scrapings from a buck in rut. The hunt was on and they were soon so intent on their game they didn't notice the sky fill with clouds until the temperature began to plummet dramatically. A few flakes began to fall. They both looked up and saw the snow was beginning to fall thicker and thicker.

To Be Continued