I'm surprised I got so many reviews for the first chapter!. Thank you all for reviewing, and loving me... I feel so speci'l... Seeing that this story seems more popular than planned, I plan to have 4 parts to this story. And, uh.... like I said in the 1st part, this is based off the feelings I've had since I broke up with my bf. (T-T I still hate myself for that) But ANYWAY! --grin-- On with the show!
Review Responses:
Killian: No! No happy endings! They're against my religion!!! lol
Kumori Sakusha: Of course it's cool- I wrote it!
sansty-san: Yes, very angsty. I'm happy you wanted more, so here it is! (Is 'angsty' even a word...?)
Jigoku Tenshi: Like I said in the beginning of the last chapter, I was making Joey feel the same things I've been. That meant EVERYTHING! And I won't give you permission to harm Ryuukai in any way- I still love him, dammit! And thank you ever so much for what you did at the bonfire. I wuv you, sissie!!!
PepperFang: Thanks for the review! But don't cry... you'll make me cry... T-T
Disclaimer: Do I have to put this in every chapter? I hope not... I'll probably forget... But anyway, I DON'T own Yu-Gi-Oh! It's cool and all that, but I can't have it. Excuse me while I cry over it. T-T
Samusa Naraku: Part Two
I've waited two more days. Two more days of this torture. He hasn't spoken to me, written any notes to me, nothing. I put a note in his locker, asking why he hasn't talked to me. Before, we talked little, and it was mostly calling each other every bad thing we could think of. I'd rather it be like that, instead of this painful silent treatment.
I remember when I wrote that note, the one that told him how I feel, I thought that I would be a little happier. I would have that secret off my chest, and I could feel better knowing that he knew. But no, I feel like I took my heart into my own hands and ripped it apart myself. I know I shouldn't feel like this, but this silent treatment... I really thought that I would be happy after I told him my true feelings for him, not this depression. I don't know where I went wrong... I have a hope that he loves me back, and that hope won't go away. The daydream of us being together is constantly on my mind.
I guess both of our attitudes have changed a little. I can feel myself slowly returning back to normal, like being able to talk and laugh with my friends. Even so, it feels... fake. Inside me, I still feel cold and heartless. I can still see that my eyes are cold, and my heart feels the same. And when I see Seto in the halls or in class, his attantion is up instead of on the ground. But his eyes... they're sad and depressed. We look right at each outher and see what emotions are in the other's eyes, only to look away and continue passing by. Just doing that stirs up the dark emotions that are inside me- despair, depression, hurt, unrequited love...
Kami, I can't stand looking at him when he's like this.I wish I hadn't given him that note, that changed our entire relationship. I wish I could turn back the hands of time, and rip up that note before I get the chance to put it in his locker. I'd rather see him with his normal emotionless mask on, with is icy, unforgiving eyes that many choose to avoid. I'd rather hear him call me 'Mutt', and a third- rate duelist, everything he used to call me, just to know I'm real. Gods, I miss those days. It would be so much better if we were together, and he loved me, and he wouldn't care who knew it.
I have this urge to cuddle... To cuddle with someone warm and strong. (Seto!) I want him to hold me close, so I can know that I'm loved for who I am. I feel as if I am unlovable, like no one wants me. Yeah, I have friends, whoop-di-do. I mean something different. I just want to feel loved. To know that someone truely wants me, and won't hold anything back from me. I wanna just be held by him tightly, and bury my nose into his neck. I wanna feel soft, warm lips against mine, and hear Seto softly say that he loves me...
Damn... Now I wish I would stop daydreaming. It's pretty much all I've been doing. But it's all I can do, since it may not even come true. Not a single dream won't come true in the slightest bit, and I'll somehow be driven deeper into the cold. I'm not sure if I could go any deeper than I am now. I've fallen so deep... Heh, yeah, I've fallen. In love with Seto Kaiba, that is.
But no, I'm stuck in this cold, dark, endless world. But this time, I an see something. It's faint, but I can still barely see it. It's so far above me... but I suspect that it's light. A light that I've been longing for. It's just a tiny speck above me. No matter how far I try to reach for it, no matter how hard I try to move toward it, I can't. In fact, I've stopped falling into this cold abyss. All I can do is stare at that light, and wish that it could reach me.
I'll bet anything that if I left, if I comitt suicide, he wouldn't miss me. Oh wait, he would- he wouldn't have anyone to call a 'defenseless puppy' anymore. He wouldn't have anyone to sneer at. He wouldn't have to be sad anymore... and neither would I. Hell, I'll even make it quick and painless so that I won't chicken out. Just take a gun, aim it at my head, a toodle-loo world. But that knife/sword still intrigues me. I like it a lot, and I'm just itching to try it somehow...
The inside of me still hurts, but it's lessening. I've stopped falling deeper into the darkness. But why? I don't want to change, not yet. I don't like it. I just hope that Seto'll talk to me soon.
Well? Whaddya think? Review, I say, REVIEW!!!! I must also add that I am a ghet'o hypocrite!! (Don't ask) So um, review, and wait patiently for part three!!
ADVERTISEMENT: Teian no Kokoro
In Teian no Kokoro (Proposal of Heart), Kaiba finally realizes that he needs a break. He saves Joey from a tight spot, and they become friends. Eventually, both of them realize that the feeling is more than friendship. Marik sees what's going on and decides to play a little game with them. Does contain limes, so watch out for those if you don't like them. It's really good, if you ask me. Of course, there's humor in it. I'm a comedic writer- I couldn't resist! Anyway, read that if you want.