Star Cross'd Lovers

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. The characters belong to JK Rowling.

Chapter Five – Thinking About Her


 Escape was pointless. The Dementors closed in around Harry's four- poster bed. He couldn't see them because of the pulled curtains but he knew it was them. Their icy presence informed him it was them. They were there with him in his very room. They had come to get him again. Harry's heart pounded in his chest.

One of them extended a rotted hand to draw back his curtains . . . And then he saw them; hovering above the ground, black as night, flooding his body with fear. Their rattled breathing from behind their hollow hoods echoed in his ears. Only their hoods weren't hollow as Harry had expected them to be. One of them slowly pulled back its hood and Harry waited in dreaded anticipation to see the horrific sight behind the hood. The face of Cedric Diggory stared murderously back at him.

Harry panted and sat bolt upright in his bed. this wasn't, couldn't be Cedric. His face looked like the face Harry would think a Dementor to have (if it ever showed its face). His face was mangled and decaying. The eyes which once shone handsomely were gone and instead little maggots wriggled from the sockets. Most of the skin had rotted away, bearing the bone white skeleton of his face.

Then he spoke; his jaw dangling fiercely from his head.

"Harry Potter . . . I have come back for you. I died while you lived. It should have been you Voldemort killed." Cedric's voice was raspy, not at all like his own voice once was.

"No! No!" Harry cried, breaking out in a cold sweat.

Suddenly Cedric reached out to grab Harry by the throat, but Harry swerved out of the way to land with a loud thump on the floor. Scrambling for safety desperately he pulled down his bed covers and knocked into his bedside table accidentally.

"Harry?" Ron's drowsy voice was calling him from Ron's own bed. Then he sounded more concerned. "Harry? What happened?" Ron jumped out of bed and came running over to where Harry lay. Harry refused to open his eyes which he had firmly shut. If he opened them the Dementors and Cedric's body would be waiting for him.

Ron took him by the shoulders and shook him roughly. "Harry! Harry!"

"No!" Harry murmured, still half asleep, "No . . . can't . . . the Dementors . . . Cedric . . . will get me!"

"Harry!" Ron shouted, jerking him awake. "What are you talking about; no one's trying to get you!" In an instant Harry's eyes snapped open to see . . .

His darkened bedroom . . . but there were no Dementors . . . and no Cedric. It had all been a nightmare. Ron was sitting in front of him in his new puce pyjamas which were already two inches too short for him.

"Harry, snap out of it!" Ron said.

"I – I'm alright", Harry said rubbing his eyes. "Nightmare."

"Must have been", said Ron with wide eyes. "One hell of a nightmare. Your hair's all wet with sweat." Harry didn't know whether it was sweat or if his hair hadn't completely dried yet since the rain had drenched it.

"Er, yeah." Harry didn't want to tell Ron about Susan. But he didn't want to tell him about the nightmare either. For one thing, if he did he would have to explain the whole story to Ron, including the part where he found out he had feelings for Susan. But he wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. And if he told Ron the whole story he would have to admit that it was hard enough to move on after Sirius with Cedric's memory constantly haunting him. He'd also have to explain what he and Susan had been doing in Hogsmede (Ron would definitely never understand that just yet). Then he'd have to talk about the real Dementors which spurred the dream on. This was one story Ron wouldn't fully hear . . . just yet. Harry decided he wouldn't even tell any teachers about it.

"You were thrashing about and moaning", Ron told him in a worried voice. "Are you sure you're alright? You look a bit peaky. No, actually you look awful."

"Thanks mate", Harry said sarcastically, trying to convince Ron he was fine.

"Don't be offended!" Ron said, looking hurt. "I'm just saying maybe you should go to the hospital wing."

"No!" Harry shoved Ron away. "I'm fine. I told you I'm alright, didn't I?"

I wish he'd just leave me alone, Harry thought angrily.

At breakfast Harry searched the Hufflepuff table for Susan. He couldn't wait to see her. She'd arrived soon after he did, her robes pulled tightly around her. She appeared to be shivering and Harry guessed she, like him, must be getting a cold after spending hours in damp clothes, or in no clothes at all. Harry chuckled as she stuffed a ball of handkerchiefs into her pocked after sneezing quietly into them. Her eyes and nose had turned red from rubbing at them. Harry knew how she was feeling but he couldn't help chuckling as she kept bringing out the bundle of tissues to sneeze cutely into.

When she saw him she smiled warmly. He smiled back but abruptly stopped when Ron and Hermione joined him. Hopefully he would have a chance to speak to her later. For now he had a bad feeling Hermione was glancing nervously at him.

"Do I have something on my nose, Hermione?" Harry asked trying to control his temper. Hermione gave him that pitying look he hated so much. Then it occurred to him that Ron had blabbed.

"Oh, thanks a lot Ron!" Harry snapped sarcastically. Ron turned away in shame. Telling Hermione was the worst thing he could do. Now she'd be questioning him about that night.

"Ron and I are just worried about you, Harry", Hermione explained desperately, afraid that she would set his temper off again. "Maybe you should tell Dumbledore-"

"No." Harry said firmly. Telling Dumbledore would be worse than telling Hermione. What was the point anyway? It wasn't as if he was having dreams about Voldemort coming after him and his scar hadn't even so much as stung. Harry told her this.

"The point is", Hermione answered, "is that the Dementors are now working for Voldemort and having a nightmare about Dementors is just as bad as having a nightmare about Voldemort."

"No it's not", Harry said, glaring at her. "My scar didn't even hurt. Mind your own business Hermione."

"Last time you minded your own business about your dreams Harry, people got hurt." Before Hermione had even the chance to register the consequences of these words it was too late.

"Are you two determined to remind me about Sirius' death?" Harry rounded on them angrily.

"It's not that we're trying to make you feel upset Harry it's just-"

"What then? I have to broadcast my nightmares to the whole school?" Harry was rising off his seat now. He'd had enough of them and the day hadn't even begun. "Maybe I should start a nightmare diary for Professor Trelawney should I? That would make her happy; another chance for her to predict my death . . ." And with that Harry leapt from his seat and left the Great Hall.

Stupid idiots, Harry thought as he hurried away from them. All this fuss over a stupid nightmare about Cedric.

Lately he had been his own worst enemy. His anger had always been so close to the surface that it nearly always resulted in driving his friends away.

Harry stopped when he felt a hand reach out and grab his arm. Thinking it was a Dementor he spun around. But his heart beat slowed to beat to its normal rate when he saw it was Susan. He sighed in relief as she pulled him gently behind a pillar.

"Susan!" Harry breathed when he saw her. "I'm glad to see you."

"And I you, but obviously you weren't too pleased with Ron and Hermione back there. What happened? When I saw you getting upset I hurried out here to meet you when you came out."

Harry rolled his eyes thinking about his 'friends'. He knew they were only trying to help but being angry with them helped him to avoid telling them the truth.

"I'm fine."

"Keep telling yourself that and you might start to believe it", Susan said. "You don't fool me, Harry."

"Tell me one thing, Susan", Harry said desperately, "do you blame me for Cedric's death?"

Susan shook her head. "When we heard you'd arrived in Hogwarts with his dead body we couldn't help but be suspicious of you. It certainly looked suspicious to the Hufflepuffs. But now I know what happened and I don't blame you."

Harry pulled her close to him. It was good to have a Hufflepuff's point of view but more importantly he knew Susan didn't feel angry at him. There was no way he could have stopped Cedric's death and now he was condemned to relive the night he died in his nightmares. But now he felt different somehow; because he had Susan by his side.

"Thanks", he said quietly, his warm breath blowing against her hair. "I knew you wouldn't blame me deep down . . . I just . . . needed to hear it." He felt her smile against his chest.

"Well if you need to hear anything else or even if you just want me to listen you know I'll be there for you."

"There are a few things we need to talk about actually", Harry remembered. "Firstly about the Dementors. I know what we did was dangerous – going into Hogsmede and everything – but the school's not going to forgive us for leaving the school without permission, even if we did come close to being killed. Maybe we would get expelled for it.

"Secondly it's not enough to just claim Dementors attacked us in the village. We'd have to prove they were there. Dumbledore might believe us but we'd have a hard time convincing the Ministry. I tried to convince them when the Dementors attacked me, remember?"

"My Auntie would believe me!" Susan said anxiously. "I know she would. We've got to tell Dumbledore because Voldemort is obviously behind this. He must have ordered them to go after you. If we don't report this the Dementors might actually succeed in killing someone next time. We've just got to Harry! I'll back you up! I'll be with you the whole way – even if it goes to a trial-"

"I appreciate that really, Susan", Harry said, wishing he didn't have to dampen her high spirits, "but let's just think about this for a minute right?

"Let's say miraculously we didn't get punished for going to Hogsmede. Then Dumbledore happens to believe us about being attacked by Dementors. Then we convince the Ministry, who are not easy to get to. A trial could take weeks to arrange if they thought we were messing around. Because let's be honest; who's going to respect the opinion of a troublemaker? They'll see me as a troublemaker you know. Me, who has been warned not to use magic outside of school several times.

"So we've managed to get as far as a trial, then what? We convince them Dementors are roaming the streets of Hogsmede at night? What do they care? What can they do? Warn people? Tell them Voldemort is controlling the Dementors?

"What good will that do? It's not as if they've caught the Dementors and forced them to give the whereabouts of Voldemort. Those Dementors could be miles away by now. By the time an inquiry is arranged our attack will mean nothing to them then. It's happened, no one got hurt badly and it's more trouble than its worth to kick up a fuss at the Ministry."

Susan opened and closed her mouth to protest but she knew Harry was right. As much as she hated to admit, this was best left alone for now.

"I am not going to give in to telling Ron and Hermione all this over some stupid nightmare."

"Nightmare?"

"I had a nightmare about Cedric", Harry told her. "One minute there were loads of Dementors around me and the next thing I know one pulls back its hood and it had Cedric's body underneath its cloak." He stopped, remembering the face vividly. "But it's nothing now. I have nightmares about Cedric a lot . . . since he died. Apparently I was thrashing about and crying out in my sleep. So Ron was worried. What about you?" he went on trying to change the subject; he could see Susan was now getting worried, "Did you have any bad breams about the Dementors?"

Susan swallowed whatever fear she must have had for Harry and blushed slightly. "No, actually", she said looking up at him. "I had a dream about . . . well, about us."

Harry gulped unconsciously. "Really?" his voice broke a little, but he cleared his throat and went on in a deeper voice. "Us?"

Susan felt heat creep into her face and nodded.

"I see", he said in an off-hand voice. "And er . . . was it a . . . was it a nice dream?"

"Not as nice as reality, but yes, the dream was nice."

Before his throat could dry up any more than it already had Harry said, "That's another thing I wanted to talk to you about. Us."

Me! She had a dream about me!

He felt her squeezing his hand.

"What happened last night happened really, really fast. I don't usually do things like that." Susan nodded in agreement and smiled.

"Neither do I!" she said. "But last night was . . . an exception."

"Oh yeah?" Harry laughed. "What made it an exception?"

"Being with you. I don't know if you realised but . . . it was my first time." Susan said softly.

Harry put his arms firmly around her. "Mine too. I'm glad my first time was with you", he told her. "But I want to take you out first. This time we'll take things slower."

"This time?"

Harry looked at her in alarm. "You do want to see me again, right?"

Susan could have jumped for happiness. "Yes of course I do! We're going out with each other then?"

Suddenly Harry grabbed her and held her tightly. He couldn't believe how happy she'd made him. She was with him and he was going to make sure it stayed that way.

"Yes. I was really proud of you when you produced a Patronus", said Harry.

"Thanks",came the muffled reply from against his chest. Both of them laughed and spent a good half hour kissing behind the pillar, enjoying each other's warm lips against their own and glad to be so close to each other.

"As you can see, this astounding creature can pose a threat to the untrained wizard . . . Note the lengthy horn extending from its forehead. Now the length of the horn varies from creature to creature (just as the height of you or I would differ in humans) but although it looks threatening the actual creature tends to have a non-aggressive nature. In fact the horn has many uses, one of which is healing properties.

"It is in the treating of the unicorn that wizards or witches tend to go wrong. If you came across a unicorn there is no need to panic at all. However if you put the unicorn in a position to feel threatened it will attack. You must treat it with respect . . . I believe the unicorn feels safer around women.

"When dealing with the creature there is a spell you will learn which will transport the unicorn to a safer place while at the same time keeping it calm. You will have learned how to care for the creature during your OWL studies in Care of Magical Creatures.

"But we're only interested in defending ourselves against it if such an occasion arose. So you won't get any extra marks in your exam for talking about how to groom it or whatever. But remember; you must never kill a unicorn. The spell which I will teach you will ensure that it will not be harmed. Now kindly read page three hundred and five of your text book. The paragraph on unicorns is taken from Newt Scamander's 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them'. No doubt you have read that book already; however, we must first have a little background knowledge on unicorns before we learn to defend ourselves against them. Okay now class, get stuck in!"

A movement of students around Harry informed him that they had been instructed to read. He scrambled for his text book and a sideways glance at Ron's book told him to read page 305.

For the whole lesson Harry hadn't been listening. All he could think about was Susan. She'd been the only thing he could think about from the time they'd kissed just after breakfast until now; his final lesson of the day. It was Defence Against the Dark Arts with his new teacher, Professor Ctesias who had proven to be quite an exceptional teacher so far.

At NEWT level they were expected to be bale to protect themselves against Magical creatures and not just other wizards or witches. But for now all Harry could think about was his beautiful Susan. It was very hard to forget her baby-blue eyes or soft lips. He kept reliving their conversations in his mind, hearing her voice flowing through his brain. The fact that he wasn't able to produce a Patronus angered him but is mind kept drifting to the time when he'd first touched her silky soft skin, to the time he'd felt her body move wit his, to the time he'd been so close to her and their bodies became one . . .

"Mr Potter?" Professor Ctesias was talking to him. His voice seemed to crack the air like a whip. It was clear and sharp.

"Yes Professor?" Harry was afraid he'd been caught day dreaming.

"Would you mind helping me put up a diagram of a unicorn?"

"Of course", Harry said, grateful to have escaped trouble.

He helped pin the massive drawing high up on a wall and Professor Ctesias sighed as he recovered from having to stretch so high up. He was quite an old man. He long since retired from teaching but the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts constantly needed to be refilled and Ctesias was as a good a replacement as any other.

"I'm afraid my old bones aren't as strong as they used to be. Although I am grateful that I still have my sight, so that I may read. Page three, zero, five, Potter", he said, giving Harry a stern look with the small trace of a smile.

"Sorry sir", Harry said sitting back down. Ron smirked at him.

He was able to tear his mind away from Susan for a little while in order to read the page they were instructed to read.

UNICORNS: THE TRUTH BEHIND THE MYTH

Oh no! Harry thought suppressing a huge grin. This will definitely not help to take my mind off Susan!

Harry remembered Susan unicorn Patronus. The blinding silver light, the warmth he'd taken from its presence, the Dementors fleeing from it. He tore his thoughts reluctantly from Susan once more.

BELOW IS AN EXTRACT TAKEN FROM 'FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM' BY NEWT SCAMANDER:

UNICORN

M.O.M Classification: XXXX

The unicorn is a beautiful beast found throughout the forests of northern Europe. It is a pure white, horned horse when fully grown, though the foals re initially golden and turn silver before achieving maturity. The unicorn's horn, blood and hair all have highly magical properties. It generally avoids human contact, is more likely to allow a witch to approach it than a wizard, and is so fleet of foot that it is very difficult to capture.

The unicorn is given XXXX classification not because it is unduly
aggressive, but because it should be treated with great respect. The same
applies to centaurs and merpeople.

The unicorn, like the fairy, has received excellent Muggle press – in
this case justified.

Reading about the unicorns made Harry think about Susan even more and the sense that he'd abandoned to be with her in Hogsmede suddenly hit him hard. Everything had been so hurried and is memories of that night were so short that he felt he had nothing to hold on to.

He felt he had taken her for granted and hadn't treated her with the respect she deserved. The passion they'd shared had been quick and he didn't want Susan to feel like she had been used. He didn't want to drive her away.

Next time he saw her he'd take her somewhere. No one knew they were together and Harry wanted it that way. The last thing he wanted was for him and Susan to be leered at.

The only problem was in finding somewhere to take her. As much as he loved the thought he could hardly parade her around the streets of Hogsmede – at least not in daylight and he wouldn't return there at night for all the gold in Gringotts. It would be nice to just simply hold her hand or buy her a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks.

If I'm not careful, this is going to look like some seedy secret.

Harry didn't want Susan to think he was ashamed of being with her. He felt quite the opposite in fact. But for so long Harry had been plagued with stares, talked about by strangers and pointed at. For a change he'd like his private life kept private.

Ron and Hermione would notice though. They'd notice he had something to hide.

It's none of their business, Harry thought angrily. What about the Shrieking Shack?

That's a possibility but secrets would have to be revealed to Susan. Namely the Invisibility Cloak, secret passages . . . might be more trouble than it's worth.

Room of Requirement?

Yeah but nearly twenty people know about it. There's no guarantee we'd get any privacy.

Forbidden Forest?

Yeah right! Why don't I just feed her to Grawp and save myself the bother of getting her killed by Aragog?

Harry sighed. Wherever they decided to go at least they'd be together and Harry promised himself he'd make sure she had the best time she could possible have with him.

And Harry was true to his promise. They spent as much time as they could together at any opportunity they got over the next few weeks. They met alone in different parts of the school just so they could spend some time together. During break, between classes, just before bed . . . whenever they could.

Harry told her about Ron and Hermione and all the jokes Ron would tell. Sometimes he told her about how annoyed Hermione had made him feel that day by emphasising the importance of getting a head start in revision for their NEWTs. Often the subject of Voldemort was brought up and Harry told her about his worried for the future.

Susan was very supportive. She told him all about how she was hoping to get placed in Hufflepuff in first year – to live up to her family's expectations but was a little apprehensive because she'd heard the house was full of dossers.

Harry knew Susan was definitely not a dosser. She tried her best at everything and was fast becoming one of Harry's best friends.

She told him about her friends in Hufflepuff. Hannah was her best friend but she sometimes felt left out when Hannah spent time with Ernie. Susan was left to hang around with Zacharias Smith who was quite sour and spent most of the time complaining.

Harry was glad when she took an interest in Quidditch. They discussed the tactics each house used but Gryffindor won their first match of the year; they were still by far better than Hufflepuff.

Everyday, when Harry knew that a meeting with Susan would be the last meeting he would have for quite a while he found it hard to leave her. He knew he was being silly but he hated when he'd have to go days without knowing when he'd see her next. They had to arrange meetings through the two two-way mirrors and Susan hated the disappointed look on Harry's face when she told him she couldn't meet him that day. The dull, dark look he gave her made her feel miserable.

It wasn't as if she was even sleeping in his dormitory and he would see her the next morning. She was in her own Common Room and he hoped he might catch a glimpse of her at breakfast.

Tonight he was feeling grumpy because tonight was the last night he'd see Susan for quite along time. The castle was decorated with tinsel and baubles for Christmas and fairy lights hung all over the walls. Harry stood waiting for Susan in an area of the castle forgotten by students in their excitement to be going home for Christmas.

Tomorrow she'd be going on the Hogwarts Express back to her aunt and he'd be staying in school with Ron and Hermione. He was thoroughly miserable about this and by the look on her face when she came to meet him, so was she.

"Merry Christmas", she said, throwing her arms around him.

"You too!" he said, surprised by the intensity of her hug.

"I wish I could stay here for the holidays but Auntie never lets me stay over Christmas", it looked as if she was holding back tears. Suddenly, she gasped. "I haven't even got you a present!"

Harry entwined his fingers with hers. He felt the bracelet he'd given her dangle from her wrist. "Don't worry about it." He meant it; he didn't want anything from Susan except to be with her. "I'll miss you though."

"I'll miss you too", she said, sliding her arms around his neck to kiss him. Harry and Susan hadn't talked about their night in Hogsmede and they definitely hadn't been as close as they had been in Hogsmede. Harry was content to kiss her but Susan wanted to feel him against her once more. She was sure that deep down Harry wanted the same as her but she knew he was holding back. Before Filch could come prowling around making sure no one was out of bed, Harry and Susan kissed each other good night. Their kiss lingered longer than it should have and afterwards Harry was feeling lonely and couldn't wait to see her again.

He watched her longingly as she made her way back to her Common Room and thought that it would be a very long Christmas holiday . . .

Author's note: It took ages to type that chapter! Next chapter up soon! Review!