I have every intention of posting this entire story and I can't believe I left it for so long at that last chapter. One thing you've probably realised about me and my fanfics is that I seem to disappear for quite a while but it's just that I have important exams to do. I'm sorry. I'll always finish my fanfics though. So to make up for my delay in posting new chapters I have posted chapter s 7-10 all at once.
Star Cross'd Lovers
Chapter Seven - Confessions
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J K Rowling. I do not own any of the characters (except ones I have made up).
Just as Susan was about to drift off to sleep she thought she could hear a noise coming from somewhere in the room. She jumped up in her bed and let her eyes adjust to the gloom. But she still couldn't see what was making the noise. It sounded as if someone was outside, calling her name. The sound was muffled as if something was covering the speaker's mouth.
"Who's there?" she whispered loudly, but the sound only continued, just as muffled and providing no clues as to who was calling her. Instead she followed the sound and it lead her to her school trunk she hadn't yet unpacked. She hastily opened the trunk, throwing clothes and books out. The sound became less muffled the more belongings she threw out. It didn't take her long for her to work out the cause of the noise. Her two-way mirror lay at the bottom of the trunk. She'd wrapped it in a cloth to make sure it didn't break. And now a sapphire light flashed through the white material she'd wrapped it in. Harry was trying to contact her.
This was the first time he'd used the mirror to talk to her. All their meetings had been arranged in person. Maybe something was wrong. The only problem was how to use the mirror, but her questions were answered as soon as she touched it. Small ripples emerged on the surface of the mirror as if it were made of liquid and when they faded away Harry's face had appeared. He looked like he was in his dormitory.
"Hello Susan", he said, greeting her with a smile that made her whole body weak. But he looked nervous. "You look really beautiful tonight." Susan looked away blushing and tugged at her nightdress uncomfortably. How could he see her like this; with sleep in her eyes and her hair all over the place?
"Thanks", she said looking back at him with those baby-blue eyes. "Is something wrong? You seem awkward."
Harry cursed himself inwardly for being so stupid. This was much harder than he thought it would be. He didn't know what to say. Yet again his brain froze as it usually did when he was nervous. He was afraid she wouldn't understand anything he had to say.
"Nothing's wrong I just. . .wanted to say. . .Happy Christmas." Susan didn't quite know what to say. She had expected him to give her some bad news. But she supposed 'Happy Christmas' was better than bad news. He just confused her sometimes.
"Well Happy Christmas to you too", she said, watching him look like he was struggling to say something. His eyes darted from side to side.
"Well. . .bye then!" he said hastily.
"Bye then?" Susan repeated playfully. "Don't you miss me?"
Miss her? Of course I miss her, Harry thought.
"I do miss you", he said in a puzzled voice. What did she mean? Sheknows I miss her.
Her eyes sparkled. "How much do you miss me?" Harry soon caught on to what she meant, with slight embarrassment. He had to think quickly and tell her what she wanted to know.
What would we do if we were together? What would I do to her if she were here right now?
"Well. . ." he began slowly, keeping her hanging on to his words. Absolutely anything. . .
"Hello Potter. . .Weasley."
Ron, who was standing next to Harry, rolled his eyes.
"Zacharias Smith", he said in a very unfriendly way, his freckles seemed to have disappeared into his furiously red face. The tall, blonde haired boy, Zacharias Smith strode up to them and gave them a pitying look.
"Having a nice Christmas?" he asked, looking down his upturned nose at them.
"Yes." Harry said shortly. He didnot want to be having a conversation with Zacharias Smith right now. A kind word had never passed between them and he did not like the superior look Smith had on his face right now.
"Have you been studying? For the N. E. W. T's I mean", Smith asked, obviously to see what they were up to.
"Why would we be studying over Christmas?" Harry countered suspiciously. "And our exams aren't until next year."
"Just wondering", Smith said turning to go. He stopped to get one last dig in. "Don't want more remedial potions on your hands do you?"
He really knows how to get me going, Harry thought. Ron wasn't going to let him get away with it though.
"And what areyou doing here?" Ron asked maliciously. "No one want you home for Christmas did they?" the superior look vanished from Smith's face and his puffed out chest seemed to deflate.
"As a matter of fact I was staying in to practice Quidditch.", he said, his nose wrinkling. "The cup will belong to Hufflepuff this year. I think Gryffindor's had it long enough." ever since the start of the term tensions had been mounting between houses over the Quidditch cup. Harry thought he should start practising too.
"We'll see about that!" Ron shouted after him as he slouched off. "Bloody git! Stupid Hufflepuff! Make them a Quidditch player and they think they own the place!"
Something inside Harry made him feel Ron was wrong. "They're not all bad", Harry snapped, making Ron whirl round to face him with a hurt look on his face.
"I was only standing up for you", Ron said wearily. "I give up. Every time I try to help you or say something nice you bite my head off. It's gotten to the stage where I can't even say something without having to think it out first in my mind. I run these conversations with you over in my head but nothing I say seems to be right. And it's not my fault Harry. You've changed."
"Of course I've changed! My godfather just died! Do you want me to have parties every night. Fire whiskies all round? Is that how it should be?" Harry finished speaking and found that when he was finished he was actually shaking. He needed to find Susan; anyone who wouldn't touch that nerve Ron had the wonderful habit of being able to hit so much.
He had expected Ron to erupt at him in a fit of protests. . .but he didn't. Instead he sighed heavily and looked Harry straight in the eyes. "I don't just mean that. Ever since Cedric died you've been angry. Do you still blame yourself for his death?" Ron had touched yet another nerve Harry thought he'd buried long ago.
"I. . .I. . .don't know. . ." Harry was speaking the truth. He used to; he couldn't help feeling slightly responsible for what had happened. It was him Voldemort had been after. He shouldn't have allowed Cedric to take the cup. But now time had passed and he pushed the feeling if guilt away from his mind. Now he realised that he'd never really confronted the death of Cedric. So where did that leave him with respect to Sirius' death? Sirius' death had been confronted even less.
"Even now you blame yourself for all the bad things that have happened", Ron went on. "You do. I can see it in your face. There have been lots of things that have happened that should never have happened at all. And I hate Voldemort for putting you through these things. I hate the way we have to take each day as it comes and be careful about what we say to you. But I hate the way me and Hermione are losing you. And do you know, I think I'm hating that most of all." Ron turned away from Harry and tried so very hard not to cry. Harry felt that all too familiar pang of guilt. That had been the strangest thing Ron had ever said to Harry, merely because Ron rarely said such emotional things. He realised it would have taken Ron a lot of thought to say it. But he was right. An apology was in order.
"I'm sorry I was such a. . .a. . ."
"A jerk?" Harry turned to see Hermione standing behind them. She had been listening the whole time. But she was smiling reassuringly at Harry. She must have realised Harry was finally opening up to them.
"Yeah", Harry said sheepishly. "And a prat, and a lousy friend, and a complete idiot. . ."
Ron put a hand on his shoulder. "You're not that bad", he joked.
When they all arrived at the Common Room later they found hey were suddenly very tired and so they stretched out in front of the fireplace, letting the warmth pass over them to help them grow sleepy.
"You do know I'm sorry about being weird around you both", Harry told Ron and Hermione for what seemed to them like the millionth time that day.
"Yes! We know Harry", Hermione scolded him.
"It's just that I've been confused lately. I've had a lot on my mind."
"Aaah!" Ron said slyly, a big grin spreading across his face. "It's about a girl isn't it?"
Hermione looked confused. "A girl? How can you work that out?"
"Well it's obvious isn't it?" Ron said. "Harry's getting all worked up about something and he's angry for no apparent reason. Only a girl can make you feel like that."
For a while there was silence. "Is it Cho?" Hermione asked.
"No!" Harry and Ron said together, loudly enough to make Hermione jump. Harry looked at Ron suspiciously.
"You didn't act like this when you were going out with Cho before, so if you're acting differently you're going out with a different girl." Ron explained. Harry commended Ron on his logical thinking.
"How do you know Harry's going out with a girl Ron?" Hermione asked.
"Because I am", Harry said. Ron's mouth hung open like a goldfish and Hermione's was slowly opening.
And for a while there was silence.
"Well?" Ron asked. "Who is she?"
"Do we know her?" Hermione asked keenly.
"I think you do", Harry answered.
"What house is she in?"
"Hufflepuff", said Ron straight away. "Otherwise he wouldn't have stuck up for Smith's house." Yet again, Harry was impressed by Ron's logic.
"Is she in Hufflepuff?" Harry only smiled.
"Is she a good kisser?" Ron asked, giving Harry a wink.
"Ron!" Hermione snapped. She looked furious.
Nope, Harry thought, there goes all Ron's maturity. He's back to normal now.
"I was only asking", Ron said defensively. "Well don't keep us in suspense Harry. Whois she?"
Harry closed his eyes. He could see her face in his mind's eye. The time had come to tell them.
"Susan Bones."
"Susan Bones?" Ron asked.
"Susan Bones from Hufflepuff?" Hermione asked. They both sat in silence.
Ron gave Harry a pat on the back. "Cool", he said.
The Hufflepuff Common Room was packed with the bright sounds of fellow Hufflepuffs exchanging news, swapping late Christmas presents and catching up on homework. Susan sat by the fireside, watching the smoke tendrils rise up, encircling the beams of the loft and turning azure blue and pearly pink or whatever colour the bewitched fire place made it.
It was good to be back. Back in the comfort of familiar faces and Harry, whom se had missed immensely after spending Christmas without him. It had been good to see her Auntie again but Zacharias' loud boasting was driving her insane.
"The bludger came right at me - 100 miles an hour it must have been travelling at, so to get away from it I had to do this massive back flip on my broom. I just went flying backwards-" he made an extravagant circle with his arm, "and the bludger missed me by inches. I'm telling you, the Quidditch cup's in the bag this year."
"It bloody well better be!" Ernie called from behind him.
"Five years of training", Zacharias told some listening students, "and it's finally starting to pay off." He looked around the crowd with a look of superiority as if everyone should just fall to their knees and start worshipping him. He could be a right prat sometimes.
Hannah and Ernie were busy helping each other with homework as usual but Susan was used to Hannah picking Ernie over her to spend her time with. They spent so much time together it was a wonder they weren't going out with each other. Very soon Hannah noticed Susan watching them glumly and called over.
"Here's an empty seat beside us Susan!"
"If you're looking for help with potions homework you can look elsewhere", Susan said jokingly.
"What? Sorry I can't hear y- Oh shut up Zach, I can't hear what Susan is saying to me!" Zach's voice had now risen to an unbearable loudness and the beams above them echoed with the sound of his boasting.
"I thought you'd be proud and supportive of your house team", Zach said glancing at Hannah. "Susan's to busy listening to our success on the Quidditch pitch today to talk to you." Susan rolled her eyes. "Susan, how about a kiss for the Quidditch champion?"
"Kiss my arse!" Hannah said playfully, throwing a book at Zach. Zach looked incredibly sour.
"I'm only giving her the option tonight rather than after we've won the cup. It won't reflect so badly on her you see. If she goes out with me now it won't look like it's only because I've won the cup for our house. So how about it Susan? How about going out with the best Quidditch player in Hogwarts tonight?"
"Best Quidditch player in Hogwarts?" Susan said in a mock-thoughtful voice. "Didn't know Harry Potter was around here this evening." A lot of nearby Hufflepuffs drew in breath, ready to burst into fits of laughter at Zach's face, burning with anger and embarrassment. Ernie hissed and then chuckled.
"Under normal circumstances I would back up my house. . .but. . .since it's you Zach. . ."
Hannah giggled beside him. It wasn't usually like this, normally they would ignore Zach's rude comments and sometimes they even got along with him. But tonight they were too glad to be back with their friends to let Zach get them down.
"That put him in his place", Hannah said as they made their way up to their dormitories. "It's about time he had his head deflated a bit. Did you have a good Christmas by the way?"
Susan was still too deep in thought so it took her a while before she realised she was being asked a question.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
"I said did you have a good Christmas?" Hannah said staring at her friend strangely. "You don't seem yourself lately. Is something wrong?"
"I'm seeing someone", Susan blurted out. Before she's realised what she was saying she'd said it. It was about time Hannah found out. She clasped her hand over her mouth and gave Susan a quizzical look.
"Since when?"
"For quite a while now." She braced herself for Hannah's reaction to the grand finish. "It's Harry."
"Harry Potter? The Harry Potter?" Hannah jumped up and down on the spot with excitement.
"Please! You're acting like he's a member of the Weird Sisters or something. You know him, he's practically your friend." Susan felt surprised that Hannah wasn't angry at her for not telling her sooner. Instead she was acting like she'd made some great achievement. For the rest of the night she kept asking Susan questions about their relationship. Where they met, where their first date was, all of which Susan answered dreamily. She answered them dreamily partly because she was falling asleep and partly because she couldn't help but think that being with Harry was like being in some wonderful dream that she never wanted to wake up from. Being with him had brought her down from the world of dreaming of wanting to be with him to the better reality of spending each day in his arms.