Blackout

Chapter 8- promises

Buffy took the towel that was wrapped around her head and lay it on the chair in front of the small vanity. The room was lit by her scented candles. Although the electricity was back on, it seemed she wasn't quite ready for light, as if the brightness would ruin the dream she'd been living for the last few hours.

It was well after four in the morning and Buffy was utterly exhausted. She look to where Spike lay on the bed and blew out the candle by the bedside, not bothering to put out the one on the far end of the room.

She slipped into the bed beside him, and stood close to the edge of the bed as she could, not wanting to invade his space as she was unsure of what this whole evening had meant. Sure he was in her room now, but that was because he was tired right? I didn't "mean" anything.

The thoughts that ran through her mind, mad her question everything she had done, as reality began to seep in. She thought of Riley back home, and what he meant to her. She thought of the feelings they once shared, trying to think back to a time when she would never doubt their relationship. Whether this thing with Spike was real or not, it had made her take a closer look at what she wanted out of life. She still wasn't quite sure what that was, but the longer she thought about it the more she knew it wasn't Riley.

As fatigued as she was, she didn't feel sleepy in the true sense of the word. Her mind was too much of a jumble to allow her to rest. She'd even thought about getting out of the bed, when suddenly she felt his hand slide down her silky nightgown, caressing her side before wrapping his arm around her tightly and pulling her in close to him.

He was leaning on his elbow with his free arm, when he turned her slightly towards him so that she could look into his eyes.

"What's going on inside that mind of yours pet? I can hear those wheels cranking."

She smiled up at him, not at all surprised by the fact that he seemed to know everything about her, even though he hardly knew her at all. She didn't bother speaking at all, knowing that words would mean nothing at this point, instead she ran her hand down the arm that held her and lightly kissed his hand.

"Look," he said, as his face became somewhat serious. "I know you have a life outside of this, and I'm not going to ruin that for you love. I just want to hold you. After tonight you can go back to your life. Give me tonight. Just give me tonight, okay?"

As she looked up at him once more the faint light from the candle danced across his face. He was beautiful to her. The thought was somewhat strange because one doesn't always see men as being "beautiful", but he was.

The look in her eyes told him that she understood, and for him that was enough. He gently wiped away the wisp of hair that was clinging to her forehead and placed a light kiss in it's place.

She allowed her body to conform to his and fell asleep almost instantly.

**********

The thing about extreme darkness is that it gives everything a sort of dreamlike quality. Nothing is real when it's not completely clear. It's like when you're drunk and you can't remember everything you did, you figure you can pretend it didn't happen right? But then someone shows up with a picture of you in your drunken stupidity and just proves that it was real.

The light that shone through the window the next day gave testimony to the events of the previous night. It illuminated the entire room, forcing Buffy to face the reality of what had happened and what she had done. She looked around her room, noticing the disarray of her suitcase on the ground after having rummaged through it in the dark. The towel she had used the night before was still thrown over the chair where she had left it. She didn't know what time it was because the clock in her room continuously flashed 12:00.

Beside her, the bed was empty. A note on the pillow was all that was left of him, and she could hardly bring herself to read it.

She thought about tearing it up, not even looking at what it said. She could still go back to Riley and pretend that nothing had happened, but even as the thought entered her head she knew she couldn't have done it. Something inside of her had switched, causing a change in her that there was no turning back from.

She read the note to herself quietly, while a lone tear traced the side of her face. Carefully folding it in half she held on to it a long while, before opening it again and reading the words once more.

**********

2 Months later- Los Angeles, California

Buffy was rummaging through the boxes in her new apartment trying to find the picture of her and Dawn that had always sat at the entry way of her old home. It was ridiculous to be going through so much trouble at this point, because everything was still in boxes but she felt like that picture was what would make this new place home.

Leaving Riley had been difficult for her. She loved him dearly, but the fact of the matter was that she was no longer "in love" with him. She thought long and hard about whether or not that was something she needed in her life before finally admitting to herself that it was.

The memories of that night in New York were but a memory, although she thought of Spike from time to time, wondering where he was and what he was doing. Often times she would imagine him in some outlandish situation…long leather coat blazing behind him, his bleached hair in disarray as he battled villains and saved some Mary Jane in need of help. The thoughts would often times bring a smile to her face, after which she'd laugh over her silliness.

All these thoughts now ran through her head once more as she reached into the box before her, pulling out a small crumpled piece of paper…

Dearest Buffy,

You saved me tonight. From my own stupidity and rashness, you saved me. I've always been a fool for love, but turning back to Drusilla would have been my destruction. In one crazy evening you made me see that the world has much more to offer then what I once believed, and for that I thank you. Until we meet again I will hold the memory of you close to my heart.

-Spike

Even now the letter still made her smile. It was absurd to think she'd ever see him again, but knowing that she'd touched his life in the same way he touched hers stirred a very strong emotion in her.

Finding the picture at last she put the letter down for the moment and walked over to the small table by the door. "Welcome home Buffy," she said aloud, smiling as she looked around an empty apartment full of new possibilities. She started walking towards the kitchen to get a drink when there was a knock at the door.

Opening that door paved the way for a whole new, unexpected set of possibilities for Buffy Summers. She didn't know what to say. Her heart felt like it would jump right out of her chest. Finally releasing the breath she'd been holding she smiled. "What are you doing here?"

"What? I told you we'd meet again…"

The End

A/N: Thank you to all of you who waited patiently for this last chapter as I struggled through a very difficult semester in school, and a very trying few months at work. I hope that you've all enjoyed, please comment and let me know what you think. I might consider a smut filled epilogue if people want it, just let me know ;)

As Always,

TheChosen