Due to some complications, shooting was put on hiatus with nothing more than a mutter of 'homework and social life' uttered to the cast from the author/director/narrator. It's really all the same person...
However, since summer has come again, I can get working on this! The sad thing is...I looked over the last shooting...and we didn't get much done. Very little. Very, very little. So little, I think it's less than one percent of the whole movie. So little that –
"WE GET THE IDEA!" Ayame yelled.
How very rude.
"Well, you are blabbering on, and on, and on..." Inuyasha pointed out.
"And we've finally agreed to come back, so why don't you just continue?" Kagome added, trying to make things run more smoothly.
Ah...the wise Kagome. She always tries to make people get along better, stop fights, etc. etc. and other such saintly work.
Kagome blushed. "Ah... you flatter me."
...you didn't let me finish what I meant. Since you're soooo goodie-goodie and you get to actually hang out with Sesshoumaru...
"NO I/SHE DON'T!" Whoa... Inuyasha and Kagome. Stereo sound system.
And don't interrupt me Inuyasha! Stop protecting her... jeesh. You should've let Sesshy kill her when he had the chance...very rude of you.
Sesshoumaru twitched. "Don't call me that."
What, Sesshy?
"...that."
Okay Sushi!
Okay! Now, Kagome, I'm going to have to kill you after this movie shooting.
"NO YOU'RE NOT!"
Oh dearie me! The whole cast is rising up against me! Wait – why are you with her Jaken? I thought you wanted to barbeque her...
Jaken squirmed when many heads turned and glared in his direction.
"Jaken-sama is being a meanie!" and Rin stormed over and tugged on the toad's ears. Hard.
"Ahh! STOP IT!"
"Rin."
"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama!"
"Stop it."
"Okay!"
Jaken... answer my question! The toad glared. But it was not really intimidating... seeing a little shrimp-a green one at that-do a look at you that made him look constipated.
Disturbing... but not intimidating. The toad squawked.
"I do not squawk!"
Yeah. That's what Sin, a dearly and recently deceased friend said too... and why indeed did you chime in too?Oh wait – she's not dead. The beheading is planned for NEXT week...
The toad squirmed yet again under the piercing glares. "Fine! Fine! It was because everyone else was..."
Ah...peer pressure. I think we should get back to the chapter now shouldn't we? The cast nodded in agreement. All right Jaken, shooooooooooowtime!
[note: unfortunately, due to the plot, the director reluctantly had released the other half of the Shikon no Tama to Naraku...]
"Ah ah!" Kikyou pulled back the jewel tauntingly. "Not until I get my treasure!"
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Jaken bursts out of the sand, throwing Kikyou completely off and causing her to fall onto her butt, and grabbed the chunk of Shikon no Tama that she had and waddled over to where Naraku was on the... err... camel. It also scared the narrator a little bit, seeing as she didn't tell him to do it like that...
"Why is he on that thing anyway?" Sango whispered to the author as the scene rolled along.
Because the camel died. I forgot to feed it. Sango widened her eyes. "But camels can live without food for a really long time! What did you do?! Leave it here?"
The author pleads no comment to that. The author would also like to note that the author once had four very cute birds that suffocated because she forgot that the birds couldn't live in a glass room... with the heater on...
The thing that Sango was referring to was a rather crude wooden rocking horse. Naraku was idly rocking on it, staring at the director.
Oh – wait... why?
"Oh nothing. I just thought you might like to know that I have the whole jewel."
Sango, still next to the author, flinched and brought out Hiraikotsu. The others in the cast did likewise.
...what's going on?
Sango answered, while the rest surrounded themselves around Naraku, encasing him in a rather odd looking circle. "He's got the whole jewel."
...so?
"He can bloody kill us all right now."
I still have my gun y'anno.
::ONE HOUR LATER::
Much editing had to be done, as this would not be rated PG-13 anymore... it would have scarred the soul...and the author is left with a very happy feeling.
Naraku sat on the rocking horse, rocking and mumbling to himself. Kikyou was paler than ever and Jaken kept jerking spastically.
LINE NARAKU!!!
The he/she immediately gave the narrator a sharp glare, and then jerked and started talking. "Trust me, my not pungent and not my friend. You'll get what's coming to you."
Kikyou rolled her eyes.
"What's coming to you! What's coming to you! AWK!" Jaken muttered. He had to take a very fake imitation of a parrot's voice, with much reluctance and many threats and blackmails from the author.
Naraku pulled out something from his monkey pelt.
Hmm... that poor, poor monkey. Having to sit with Naraku day in and day out... and the narrator is shutting up because Naraku is giving the narrator the evil eye... scary.
What Naraku reveals in his hand is a piece of hot pink Play Dough in the shape of a half circle. He sighs and with a bored expression shoves it together with the other half of the 'jewel.' The director hastily put together both parts in the same motions of Naraku, since she has the real thing. It emitted sparks and flew off.
"AFTER IT!" the monkey man shouted with excitement.
Man... he is gonna MAKE it someday...
As they race after the glowing speck of light, they run until they reached a large dune. It rose and swelled until it was enormous and it split in the middle. The jewel split in two, and plunged into each side. All that remains are two glowing points of light. The jewel glowed brighter and brighter. The dune rose up, and transformed into a giant head in the shape of... Kirara's.
Sango tapped the author on the shoulder. "That's the longest thing that's gone on without being interrupted"
I know. Hehe...
All seem rather surprised at the head and Naraku seemed to have lost his voice for a minute before clearing his throat and talking. "At last... after all my years of searching... err... the Cave of Wonder...?"
Jaken squawked. See... he squawks... "Cave of Wonders! Cave of Wonders..."
Kikyou clutched at her chest, eyes still wide from seeing Kirara's giant head. "My Kami..."
"Now remember! You shall bring me the... Oh damn it, authoress or whatever the hell you are, do I really have to do – "
YES.
Naraku sighed.
"You shall bring me the sake bottle with the kanji 'dog' on it. And everything else in that... that... cave is yours." Kikyou starts heading for Kirara's mouth, but is nervous and forgets to do her chuckle. She will be punished later for that...
"Awk... the stupid lamp... awk... lamp..." Jaken mumbled half-heartedly. He then brightened up, since he was now allowed to talk as he usually does... which by the author's opinion... isn't much bettter... "Where the hell did you get this crackwhore?" Naraku cracks a grin and motions for Jaken to shut up. Kikyou hesitantly reached the cave but is once again, blown onto her butt as Kirara starts to talk.
"MREWO MEOOOW MREOW!" Kirara roared.
OH YEAH!
The author jumped out of her chair so fast, it scared Sango into falling over. "So much for no interruptions..."
The author whipped out a remote.
"What are you going to do with that? Change the channel? Sorry, same thing!" Kikyou snapped. She seemed rather irritated. "Of course I'm damn well irritated! I've been shoved onto my ass twice already and it hasn't even been half an hour!"
So? Besides, I'm fiddling with the controls. It'll alter Kirara's voice and make it sound human...ish.
"Oh..."
AHA! Okay... let's go!
Kirara tried again. "Mewhoooooooooo disturbs mryyyyyyyyyy swumbooooooowwwwwwww?" Kikyo sweatdropped and was about to complain when the author shouted out that it was the closest she could get. Kikyou just let it go... not very eager for a repetition of what happened earlier... that author had control issues...
"It-it is I, Kikyou, a humble miko."
Kirara spoke. "Know this. Only one may enter here. One whose worth lies far within. A diamond in the rough." This time, she spoke without hitches and the author pranced around, whooping.
Kikyou turns and gives what she thinks is a confused look. It just looked like she got the wind punched out of her...
See... Naraku's going places... I swear it.
"Go go!" Naraku snapped.
Ah... what a great actor...Kikyou looks like she has potential too... if she would stop with the smarmy comments... and the narrator shut up quickly, remembering the bow and arrow incident when she went around hiring everyone for casting parts in this movie...
Kikyou turns and hesitantly puts one foot into the cave. Nothing happens, but Kikyou is still apprehensive at stepping into Kirara's mouth. However, with much encouragement from the waving of the author's rifle, she steps in. She starts walking downwards, but Kirara roars. Kikyou freaks out, screams and starts running for her life back out of Kirara's mouth. However, Kirara slams her mouth shut and the dune collapses, leaving behind no trace of the miko buried beneath that sand. As Kirara melted away... her words echoed. "Seek thee out... the diamond in the roueoooooooooowww!"
Oops.
"YAY!" Miroku cheered from the sidelines, but was silenced by a stony look from Inuyasha. "I mean, err... sorry for your loss...?"
The two halves of the Shikon jewel pop up out of nowhere, and Naraku bends over to snatch it when a bullet flies past him. "WAH!" Naraku snapped back up and glared as the director got a stagehand to retrieve the jewel halves and kept them safe with her.
Jaken coughed, spluttering out sand. "I don't believe it! I just don't believe it! We're never going to get that stupid sake bottle! Just leave it be! I'm positive the likes of you won't ever be able to get it! Lord Sesshoumaru, on the other hand..." and the toad stopped when he noticed the menacing glare that Naraku was giving him. "Fine. I'm so ticked off, I'm shedding!"
Everyone in the cast shuddered. He then tried to get himself onto Naraku's shoulder by jumping up and down on the sand. Heaving, he collapsed and Naraku rolled his eyes and bent down and placed the exhausted toad on his shoulder. "Patience Jaken. Patience. Kikyou was obviously less than worthy."
Now the director's starting to feel bad... and thinking she might want to extract Kikyou from the sand after everyone left and no one was looking... she only hoped dead people didn't need to breathe...
"Oh... there's a big surprise. That's an incred – I think I'm going to have a heart attack and die from NOT SURPRISE!" Jaken has a very, very sarcastic tone quality that he should use more often... "What're we gonna do?! We got a big problem here, a big prob – "and Naraku reaches up and clamps his hand on Jaken's mouth, happy to shut the toad up.
"Yes. We. Do. Only ONE may enter," and was interrupted by Jaken with a 'yeah stupid!', "I must find this one, this... diamond in the rough..." and Naraku's voice echoed rather hauntingly throughout the whole stageroom, creeping out everyone, including himself, proof being that he looked around with freaked out eyes.
Narrator pulls out a tape recorder. Note to self. Next time, get smaller room.
And cut! That's a good one! We finally got a portion of the movie done! HAHAHAHA... and tomorrow... Inuyasha be ready! You sure you memorized your lines?
The hanyou mumbled something and Kouga's face turned red. "THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AND YOU KNOW IT!"
By the way...Frost Fae... you gave me the greatest upon greatest of all ideas... haha...
"Great. Another idea." Kouga snapped. He was about to go out the door when the narrator stopped him.
It has something to do with you. Kouga paled. Very much so.
"What... what was it?"
Hmm... did I detect a hint of fear in that question Kouga dearie?
"ANSWER ME!"
...Haha... she asked if I made you gay...
And with that, Inuyasha choked on the bagel he was chewing on, causing Kagome to whack him rather violently on the back numerous times.
Kouga, now instead of the chalk white he was, was red.
Ohhh...crimson red...Mm...like blood.
"I. AM. NOT. GAY."
Oh? Then why the men's strip club?
"Oh that? I'll vouch for him, since I went with him. It was a club FOR men..." Naraku added absentmindedly, heading towards the refreshment table.
Oh...heyy...Naraku sweetums? The monkey man stopped in his tracks, turned his head ever so slightly to the author's direction...
"...yeeeees...?"
You went with him. Are you gay too?
The author is not sure what happened next.... The air was too filled with doughnuts and bagels and cream cheese and pretzels for the author to see what was happening... she was also too busy trying to save a bagel and find some cream cheese...
Mm... yummy.
The food fight was still going on when the author crawled up to the beams and lit a lighter and held it up to the sprinklers, causing a downpour on the cast.
She then got herself down meticulously and presented herself to the cast.
What happened?
No one said anything.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Everyone glanced nervously at each other.
The author sighed, and very annoyed and tired from waiting for an answer, went to a spare room that no one was using as a 'dressing room' and kicked it open. She went inside and returned in a second with a rifle in her hand. She cocked it, and aimed it at the cast.
Now what happened?
Everyone began talking animatedly at once and the author had to say SHUT UP really loudly for them to actually do so...
Naraku. You start.
The author used the gun to point at the monkey man, making himself and everyone around him extreeeeeeeeemely uncomfortable. It was understood, from the earlier events of the day, that the author had not the best aim.
"I... threw a doughnut at you."
"You mean, you TRIED. I mean, it hit me square on the face! What makes me so sure that you weren't really aiming for me?!" Ayame fumed.
"Sorry. I WAS aiming for her. It's not everyday my manliness gets questioned."
But it does.
The monkey man did a face fault. And got back up really quick at that...
"WHAT?"
Oh yeah. Fans watching the anime are questioning your sexuality. Haha... but it's okay. I thought Shippou was a girl until my friend told me.
Haha...
"WHAT?!"
Snickers from Miroku and downright laughter from Inuyasha, Kagome petted the kitsune.
"S'okay Shippou... you're cute!" And she squeezed him for reassurance. A bit too hard... the fox was turning blue....
Don't make this into Fire and Ice... with that choking scene...
Kagome tittered and dropped Shippou quickly. Inuyasha was still laughing.
Well... I know why the food fight occurred. I'm not the only one with incredibly crappy aiming in this room! HAHAHAHAHAHA...
Naraku twitched. "I do NOT have crappy aiming... I was blinded by my... anger... and all that crap."
Carp? Ew...::twitch:: Me no likee.
"What?! That doesn't even have anything to do with anything!!!" Naraku fumed.
And isn't that the truth?
"...yes it is!"
And it's really the thought that counts...
"Now you're just saying random things..."
But better late than never!
"I'm leaving..."
"Me too..."
"Going back to the club!"
"Yeah."
"Great! I couldn't go last time..." Miroku grinned. And the men ran really fast to avoid Sango and her Hiraikotsu.
And next time... the debut of Inuyasha and Kagome! WOOOO! And the oh-so- lovable...RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN! Haha...
[[edit]]
I just have to tell people this... can you really imagine Naraku on a rocking horse? Because now you can SEE it... and just go to mediaminer . org and go to fanart and type up the penname faithless... or just go to my profile page...
and it all depends if you want to see color or not! Sin drew that, so see!!! No one plagarize her now! I will and CAN hunt you down if you do!
BTW... my first plagarizer person acted! She stole Makeshift Superheroes and if you want to tell her off, e-mail me and I'll happily give you the address... haha...