This is a comedy on Carmelita after she gets suspended. I hope you enjoy it, I have! Rated: PG-for brief crack and highness references, and some disturbing rude humor.

Carmelita Spats was furious. Vice Principal Nero had suspended her for starting a cafeteria-wide food fight.

"Carmelita, this is a capital offense!" he yelled, strumming his violin with a toothpick.

"This school isn't in the capital of the country, you gluesniffer!" Carmelita cried. "It's in Philadelphia!"

"It's in Philadelphia," Nero mimicked. "Go sniff your own glue, you little fool! A capital offense is very important! You are suspended!"

"I'm not a fool!" Carmelita cried. "I'm the prettiest girl in the world!"

"I'm the prettiest girl in the world," VP Nero mimicked, pointing his violin stick-thingy at her.

"You're a girl?" Carmy asked. "I didn't know that. Actually, I was a bit suspicious when I first saw your pigtails."

"Actually, I was a bit suspicious when I first saw your pigtails," Nero mimicked. "Pigtails are in! My good friend Esmeralda Squalor said so!"

"Pigtails are in! My good friend Esmeralda Squalor said so!" Carmelita mimicked.

"Don't mimic me!" Nero commanded her. "Mimicking is very rude. Only jerky-hosed gluesniffing crackpots mimic."

"Takes one to know one!" Carmy shot back.

"Takes one to know one!" Nero mimicked. "Get out of my office right now! Your silverware is immediately removed from your permission tomorrow at breakfast!"

"You called me down here, you piesniffer!" Carmelita cried.

"OUT!" VP Nero roared.

Duncan, Violet, Klaus, and Isadora were waiting outside.

Duncan had a strand of spaghetti in his hair. "Carmelita's hosed," he laughed. "Good luck in suspension!"

"Good luck in the nose-hospital," Carmy said, whipping out a thick pepper-cream pie and mashing it in Duncan's face.

Klaus licked some chocolate ice cream off his shirt. Isadora shoved Carmelita down. "You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us," she said.

Carmelita slipped on a banana and fell on her head. She screamed.

"Poor wittle baby," Violet taunted. Carmelita shrieked, "I'm not a baby! I'm the prettiest girl in the world!"

"I'll show you pretty," Duncan said, wiping his face off. He spread the pepper cream all over her face.

"I hate you!" Carmelita screamed.

Nero bumbled out of his office.

Violet, Duncan, Isadora, and Klaus quickly hid from view.

"Carmelita! Get to the suspension room NOW!" VP Nero roared. "Before I doubly expel you!"

"It's not my fault!" Carmelita cried. "The other kids-"

"Everyone else is in class, you cementsniffer!" With that, he waddled back into his office and slammed the door shut.

Carmelita flung it open, stuck her head inside the door way, and yelled, "At least I don't go home and jump into the shower, singing 'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer' while scrubbing my butt!"

Nero hustled over to the doorway. "How do you know I do that?" he asked.

"I have you micro-chipped with a camera sensor," she said.

"Get out of here," he snapped.

"Ah, go watch Child's Play and play with your Jennifer Garner doll," Carmy snapped.

"I said, get out of here!"

"Go kiss Chucky's knife blade," she mumbled.

"What did you just say, you little rat?"

"Uh, don't want to miss Bucky's wife's braiding, do you?" she asked.

"That's my favorite show!" Nero clapped heartily.

"Go watch it!" she urged.

"I can't, I don't have a TV," he pouted.

"How do you watch it?" she asked.

"I don't. I record it on the radio and try to visualize how the setting looks."

Carmelita rolled her eyes and went to suspension.