A/N – So, this thing gets updated about every two weeks more or less. At least I'm consistent in my procrastination. Sigh. :-p The next chapter for y'all, darlings. Enjoy.

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"God, Potter, what were you thinking?"

"I suppose a good approximation would be oh god if we get married I'll be Malfoy's father-in-law," Harry answered waspishly.

Draco blinked. "Really?"

"No. I don't know what I was thinking. But I don't want to talk about it."

"You shouldn't have told me," Draco said over him. "Did you realize you're sleeping with my father?"

"Past tense. And no, I couldn't stomach it."

"I'll never be able to look him in the face again," Draco groaned.

Harry slammed his hand down on his trunk. "Just. Stop. Talking. Okay? I screwed up, he lied to me, I don't want to talk about it. You can go be shocked and scandalized elsewhere."

So, true to his word, Draco had been thoroughly disgusted with him shortly after. The very next morning, in fact. He had oscillated between fits of seething and sullen silences for the past hour, and Harry couldn't take much more. Justin and Xanthus were already at breakfast, and Harry was getting dressed in between Draco's outbursts. He wasn't getting far, he noted, looking down at the robe on his pillow. He pulled it on hastily – before Draco could yell at him again – slipped on his shoes, and left.

---

Remus took a seat next to him at breakfast. "Hi," Harry greeted him with a weak smile. "Why're you over here?"

"You look like you need the company more than they do," Remus answered, nodding at the staff table. "Still remember your Cheering Charms?"

"It's a bit more serious than that," Harry said.

"Oh…. Chocolate?" Lupin patted down his pockets and Harry felt a smile form on his lips. "No, really, what's wrong?" He squeezed Harry's shoulder gently.

"Ron and Hermione aren't speaking to me," Harry began slowly. "And the reason, well, that's fucking with my head too. Sorry," he added, but Lupin only shrugged and motioned for him to continue. "And everybody's keeping secrets from me and they expect me to defeat Voldemort single-handedly. Dumbledore is so tied up in his own agenda, he doesn't care what I want. Even Malfoy hates me."

"I thought Malfoy hated you to begin with?"

"Well, yeah, but this is worse."

"Oh." Lupin reached to stroke Harry's hair, then restrained himself. Harry leaned in, resting his head on Lupin's shoulder. Lupin leaned back. "I think you need a break."

"It's only the third day of school."

"That's alright. You look so drained, Harry. I worry about you."

Harry glanced up at Remus: dark rings under his eyes, weathered and scarred skin, ragged clothes. And still Lupin was worried about him. "Don't. I should stop complaining. I'll manage."

"Mm." He tousled his hair affectionately before sitting up. "I'm free to talk anytime you need to."

"Thanks, Professor."

"Remus," he corrected.

"Remus."

---

It was dusk when it began. Harry had been walking back to his room after dinner when he heard the furious shouting match that erupted on the second floor near the stairs.

"You are being ridiculous. You can't shelter him much longer, you know. He's prophesized either to kill or be killed, and he doesn't have a damn chance if you insist on teaching him only innocent harmless spells." Snape stormed down the stairs, shouting over his shoulder, and overlooked Harry entirely as he pressed himself against the wall.

"I know you're dying for a go at playing defense teacher," the unusually harsh tone of Lupin's snapped, "but Harry can defeat Lord Voldemort with light spells." He followed Snape, jaw clenched.

"Remus, we both know that's only possible if the Dark Lord duels fairly, and with light spells. Do you think that's likely?" Snape threw open the door and Remus stalked after him.

"I think you're making excuses so you can demonstrate the Dark Arts yourself."

Harry followed the two quietly down the lawn. "I think Potter already knows more about dark arts than you think him capable of."

Remus stopped briefly. "Why do you think that?"

"It's not my place to say," Snape answered coolly. Thank you, Snape, Harry thought, then immediately felt like a traitor for it.

Remus pressed his lips together and strode faster toward the Forbidden Forest. "Don't you think it's vital, Severus, to tell us these things? I respect his privacy, but if he's already dabbling in dark arts…." Lupin searched his face. "What do you know about the boy that I don't?"

"He's a Death Eater," Snape said harshly.

"You're lying," Remus spat. "Why would Harry – "

"He's right," Harry spoke up. Both men spun around to look at him. "Or at least, close. I've got the Mark," he told Lupin, "but I'm not sure where my loyalty lies."

"Oh Harry," Lupin breathed. He seemed at a loss for words, but reached to hug him. Harry pulled back.

"Don't you think I deserve a say in the matter?" he asked coldly. "You two can bicker as long as you like, but ultimately it comes down to what I want."

"Harry, we only want you to make an informed decision," Remus told him softly.

"Quit coddling him," Snape interjected. "Potter, you are a self-centered brat, and with any luck and that attitude you'll get yourself killed."

"With any luck." He turned and ran into the forest.

The sun had barely set, but the trees blocked out the lingering light. It didn't matter; he had nowhere to go anyway. He kept running, ran until he was sure he had lost Remus and Snape, lost sight of the castle, lost himself. He pulled his wand from his pocket. "Apparatum 12 Grimmauld Place."

He reappeared in the living room and dropped onto the nearest couch. Breathe, Harry. Don't think, just breathe. He closed his eyes, felt his chest rise, fall, rise….

No more sulking. No more feeling sorry for yourself, no more regrets, he thought sternly. Cooperate, listen to them....

No, another part of his mind interrupted. They don't know half of what's happened to me, Lucius was right, but –

No more sulking.

He got off the couch. "I want to be productive," he said aloud. How? What would benefit him the most? "Come on, Harry, let's go learn Occlumency."

Sirius had no grand library like he had grown accustomed to over the summer. But he had a bookcase, and Harry found 250 Magic Tricks Everyone Should Know, with a section devoted to Occlumency. He lit the candles and settled onto the couch, book in his lap.

---

Two hours had passed when he heard a whoosh from the fireplace. The flames flickered emerald and Snape, of all people, appeared.

"You made Remus cry," he informed Harry curtly as he brushed off his robes.

Harry shrugged. "I'm not about to go back and apologize now," he said coldly. "Why're you here? And how did you find me?" he added as an afterthought.

"Lucky guess." Snape looked around disdainfully. "Couldn't you have picked somewhere a bit less cluttered?"

"Professor Lupin's been cleaning up," Harry explained. "I'm not making you stay."

"You're not. Dumbledore is." His lip curled. "He said that if you weren't in school you could at least master Occlumency. And that is why I'm here."

Harry held out his book. "I was managing fine on my own."

Snape sneered. "Despite what Miss Granger thinks, not everything can be learned out of a book." He tossed it aside. "Legilimens!"

Not fair, not fair at all. He struggled not to let Snape access his thoughts. It was like trying to stop a wave: it was overwhelming and only left him exhausted. But when Snape lifted the charm, he was pleased to find he wasn't in a heap on the floor, but only gripping an armrest of the worn couch. "Well?"

"Beginner's luck."

"So… I did good?"

"Better," Snape corrected, and looked like it pained him to admit it. "But still amateur," he added. "Very amateur. We'll continue working until your level is at least standard."

"I'm ready."

---

It was nearly midnight when Snape pushed his pair off his face and put his wand away. "You'll do."

"So we're done?" Harry asked uncertainly.

"For the evening. Go to bed, Potter."

"Are you staying?"

He rubbed his eyes. "I'm here as long as you are. The headmaster doesn't seem to believe it vital potions classes continue at this point in time. Nymphadora will no doubt completely bollocks up Healing Potions, and Lupin has probably forgotten the nuances of a Curse-Deflecting Solution, but Professor Dumbledore felt I would be more beneficial here." The resentment was tangible in his tone. "However, it makes no difference to you. Bed. Now."

Harry narrowed his eyes and stalked upstairs. Remus had recommended a break, and Snape was not part of his idea of one. But he had promised no more feeling sorry for himself, and hours of Occlumency had exhausted him anyway. He found what he assumed was a guest bedroom and was asleep before he'd even pulled the covers over himself.

---

That night he dreamt of Hogwarts, but not as he knew it. Death Eaters lurking in the foliage, walls crumbling from stray curses. And somehow, looking at that scene, he knew everyone he cared about was dead. Everyone except Lucius, who stood between him and the Dark Lord. He turned to look, but Voldemort grabbed his wrist and both of them disappeared.

Where are you, Harry? Voldemort asked quietly. I can't feel you. No secrets, remember, we are now allies, are we not?"

"Stop it, damn you. Just leave me alone."

Voldemort laughed. You're needed back at Hogwarts, Harry.... We are ready for you. We are at Hogwarts, it will be amazing and you wouldn't want to miss it. Who shall I leave for you? The Mudblood? The redhead? Not Dumbledore, he is mine.... Who else, Harry, has wronged you? A pause. Very nearly everyone. Well, no matter, you will be in better company soon. Return to Hogwarts, Harry. We're waiting.

He woke up gasping for air, both scar and Dark Mark burning. "Professor!" He ran down the hallway, descended the staircase. "Professor Snape!" His heart was pounding, the Dark Mark was calling him, he felt dizzy.

"For god's sake, what?" Snape was recumbent on the couch, watching him. Even though it must have been three or four in the morning, Harry was sure he had been lying awake. "Potter, what is it?"

"Voldemort's at Hogwarts."

Snape was up and had taken the Floo powder before his sentence was complete. "Are you coming?"

"I don't want to."

"How amazingly selfish of you."

Harry clenched his teeth and took a handful of Floo powder from the offered jar. "Hogwarts!" He stepped into the fireplace and was gone.

They stumbled out of a fireplace in the kitchen. A few silent house elves stared up at him in the weak light.

"Um, hi," he said awkwardly. "Where now?" He turned to look at Snape, who pushed him in the direction of the doorway before striding ahead of him. "Where are we going?" Harry demanded.

"Why, to arrange a welcoming party for the Dark Lord," Snape snarled. "To Dumbledore, where would you think?"

"I don't want to see Dumbledore."

"You haven't got a choice in the matter," he said silkily.

"You're just as bad as everyone," Harry accused him. "I'm sick of being manipulated and – "

Snape slapped a hand over Harry's mouth and marched him through the Great Hall to the staff rooms.

He rapped smartly on a carved pine door. "Headmaster!" Harry pushed his hand away, but Snape grabbed his wrist instead.

The door swung open and Dumbledore peered at them over his spectacles. "Severus," he greeted warmly. "Harry. Come in."

There was a card table in the center of the room, a chess game half-finished. They sat around it, Dumbledore fiddling with the white queen. "What brings you here at such an hour?"

"Mr. Potter believes that the Dark Lord is back," Snape said gravely.

Dumbledore pushed the pieces back into their positions. "Why do you say that?" he asked Harry, watching him closely.

"He said so," Harry explained. "In a dream. Well, not a dream," he struggled to explain. "But… Legilimency. He said that the Death Eaters are here, everything's ready, he's just waiting for me."

"I see." Dumbledore stroked his beard. "Severus?"

"He doesn't trust me any longer, Headmaster," Snape objected. "If I were to rejoin the Death Eaters I would be killed on sight."

Dumbledore nodded. "And I refuse to send Harry. But go wake Lucius if he hasn't already left. Tell Minerva to be ready to inform the students."

"Yes, sir." He left, looking grim.

"Harry, I'd like you to stay here with me."

"You're not going to do anything?" Harry asked incredulously.

"I think the wisest thing to do at the moment is remain with you." He pushed a pawn forward.

Harry did the same. "Why? Don't trust me?"

"I trust you a great deal. And I wish the feeling were mutual." Another pawn.

"Oh." He moved his bishop forward.

"I understand why you're angry with me." He pushed the first pawn out of harm's way. "I would be too, if I were you."

Harry remained quiet, instead moving his bishop.

"You're acting rashly," Dumbledore warned, taking the bishop.

"Don't patronize me." A knight.

"Merely advising." Another pawn. "Harry, are you really joining Lord Voldemort?"

"The alternative is being killed by him." He moved his queen to the opposite side of the board.

Dumbledore pushed it back a space for him. "I would have taken it with my bishop otherwise," he explained.

"Oh…. Thanks." They played in silence until Harry captured his bishop. "He says he wants me as his successor."

"No doubt he would."

"But why me? I'm nobody special."

Dumbledore studied him amusedly. "You're probably tired of hearing this, but you have amazing powers. Lord Voldemort has realized that immortality is no longer possible for him. So instead his legacy will continue through you."

"So he's using me too." He moved a knight back to safety.

"Yes." He moved his own knight out. "No doubt you resent me for the same?" Harry only nodded slightly. "I apologize if you feel manipulated," he said quietly, "but such arrangements benefit the greater good."

Harry looked up. "At my expense?"

"At Voldemort's. I will not let him have you, Harry. I suppose I am protecting you from your own judgment and pride. Hopefully you're able to forgive me."

Harry took a pawn, and they were tied. "I guess."

"I'm so very glad to hear it." Another length of silence as they played.

"Why does Voldemort hate you?" Harry asked, taking a knight.

Dumbledore flinched at the loss. "He had such potential as a student," he answered, moving his other bishop. "I encouraged him, of course. I suppose I let him have too much of a free reign regarding his education, because his interest in the Dark Arts began at only thirteen." He rubbed his temples, looking at something far away that wasn't there. "I knew, I tried to limit him, but he grew to resent me. He felt I was overbearing, and it only encouraged him to become much further immersed in dark arts. He hated my steadfast refusal to perform dark magic, and I hated his obsession with it. And I suppose now my very existence limits his dream of absolute power. Perhaps I didn't provide the guidance he needed. Perhaps I failed him as a teacher and role model. But I hope not to make the same mistake twice."

"Oh." Harry picked up his queen, regarding the board. "Where can I go?" he mused.

Dumbledore gave him a half-smile. "Anywhere you'd like."