Sweet Misery
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Boxer Shorts and Secret Passages
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It was the beginning of the Christmas holidays and the Marauders, Lily, Lauren, and Gwynn were all staying for the holidays. They all were sitting down in the common room close to the fireplace to keep warm. Gwynn and Remus were playing wizarding chess with high wages on the game, Lauren was sitting on the floor with an Exploding Snap deck playing solitaire, while Sirius, Lily, James, and Peter were sitting in arm chairs around the table where Gwynn and Remus were playing.
"How many detentions are you guys at?" Lily asked James.
"Forty," he replied.
"Really?" said Lauren, looking up from her game. "We have fifty-six." As Lauren was turned away from her game, Gwynn leaned down and switched a few of the unturned cards around.
"Check," Remus announced.
"No way!" Gwynn shouted scanning the board. "I want those boxers!"
"Boxers?" Sirius asked.
"Queen to D5!" Gwynn commanded.
"Gwynn! Boxers?" James asked.
"It's apart of the stakes," explained Remus.
"And those are?" Lily inquired.
"Thirteen chocolate frogs, five sugar quills, seven licorice wands, two galleons, fifteen sickles, twenty-one knuts, Lily's charms essay—("Hey!")—James's transfiguration homework for a month, my favorite bra, and a pair of Remus's boxers," replied Gwynn.
"Your favorite bra and Remus's boxers?" Lauren asked.
"Yeah," said Remus.
"Wh-why?" Peter stuttered.
Gwynn looked at him and replied seriously, "Because I desperately want those boxers."
"And I figured it'd only be fair for me to get something personal of hers," said Remus.
The group stopped what they were doing and watched the game intently. The game went on for another fifteen minutes till Gwynn looked up from the game and grinned widely at Remus.
"Rook to C8," she said, no taking her eyes off him. Remus's eyes widened when he saw what just happened. "Checkmate!"
"But—but I had the perfect strategy!" Remus said looking at the board in disbelief. Gwynn started loading the candy and money that lied on the table into her robe pockets.
"Your boxers are mine, Lupin!" said Gwynn triumphantly. Remus grumbled something then led Gwynn up to his dormitory. Moments later Gwynn came down clutching a pair of boxers she grabbed from his drawer.
"Lily, you own me your charms essay and James, I expect you to do a good job on that transfiguration homework!" Gwynn said.
"Yes, your majesty!" Lily and James said. James bowed and Lily curtsied.
"Cute," said Gwynn. "I'm going to put these away." Gwynn walked up the stairs to the second year girl's dorm.
"Well, I'm going back to my game of solitaire," said Lauren. She looked down at the layout before her and played a little longer, then growled in frustration. "I lost again! I've been playing for an hour and I haven't won once!" Lauren tossed down the deck of cards and it exploded on contact with the floor causing the hem of her robes to start to burn. Lauren grabbed a book that was leaned up against a chair and hit the small fire out.
"Want to know the secret to why you've been losing?" Sirius asked.
"Badly shuffled cards?" Lauren replied.
"Nah, Gwynn was switching your cards around."
"She is so not getting a Christmas present now." Lauren gathered up her cards and set them on the table. She stood up and joined Sirius, Lily, James, and Peter in their chairs.
"So fifty-six, huh?" Sirius said.
"Yup," replied Lauren.
"Feel threatened?" asked Lily.
"Nah," said James. "You girls couldn't beat us."
"I hate to burst your bubble," said Lauren, "but we are."
"You are now, but just wait," Sirius said.
"Oh really?" asked Gwynn standing at the foot of the staircase.
"Y-yeah," stammered Peter. "Y-you're go-gonna b-be left-t in th-the dust."
"Ooh, we're scared," teased Lauren.
"Where's Remus?" James asked.
"He's still up in his dorm trying to figure out how he could've possibly lost," answered Gwynn.
"He really needs to learn to let go," said James.
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The next day, Gwynn and Remus were walking around the castle, taking their time heading down to breakfast.
"You're still upset about losing to me, aren't you?" said Gwynn.
"No," he replied. "You just took my favorite boxers."
Gwynn playfully pushed Remus, who overacted and ran into a tapestry. Though he didn't stop there, he went straight through.
"Remus!" Gwynn shouted and pulled the tapestry aside. She found him laying on his back staring back at her.
"A secret passage," he said, then stood up.
"Where do you think it leads?"
"Let's check it out."
Gwynn stepped into the passed and took out her wand.
"Lumos," she muttered. They continued down the passage till they reached a fork in the passage. To the right, a staircase and to the left, another corridor.
"How bout we head down," suggested Remus.
"Okay," said Gwynn.
The staircase went down for what seemed five floors. When they reached the end, a solid wall was blocking the exit.
"What a waste!" Gwynn said, hitting the wall.
"No, there has to be some door," said Remus pushing against the wall. "They wouldn't put this here for no reason."
"Actually, from what I've read, the founders were some pretty odd people. Especially Rowena Ravenclaw. Man, she did some pretty screwy stuff. Like this one thing they mention in 'Hogwarts, A History'—"
"Something's craved down here!" Gwynn knelt down and looked at what Remus was pointing at. "My guess is that this will open up the door."
"Try it," said Gwynn.
Remus took out his wand and held it to the wall. "Aperio," he said. The wall slowly opened. When they stepped out, they found themselves in the dungeon, just a few meters from potions class.
"So that's what's behind that serpent statue," Gwynn said as the passage closed. "Always thought that was the entrance to the Slytherin common room."
"Well, now we know other wise," replied Remus. "Come on, let's go tell the others."
Gwynn and Remus ran down the corridor towards the Great Hall to catch the other Marauders, Lauren, and Lily. They were easy enough to spot at the near empty Gryffindor table.
"What took you two so long?" Sirius asked.
"Were you off snogging in some broom closet?" Lauren inquired.
"No," Remus snapped at Lauren.
"We found a secret passage," announced Gwynn.
"Where?" asked James and Sirius, instantly intrigued.
"Behind a tapestry on the fourth floor," replied Remus.
"It takes you down to that serpent statue down in the dungeons," added Gwynn.
"I thought that was the entrance to Slytherin," said Lauren.
"That seems like a common error," said Gwynn.
"I wonder how many more there are," pondered Lily.
"I bet a ton," said Sirius.
"I say we go hunting today," James said.
"With big butterfly nets," added Lauren. "You can't go hunting without giant butterfly nets."
"Okay…" Remus said. "We'll split up into groups of two—"
"Problem," interrupted Lily.
"What?" asked Remus.
"There's seven of us."
"It-t's ok-k-kay, I'd-d rath-ther n-not," stuttered Peter.
"Okay, we'll each pair up then," said Remus.
"Oh, I love a man who takes control of a situation," joked Lauren.
Remus gave Lauren an annoyed glance.
"Okay," said Sirius, "who's going with who?"
"Draw numbers?" Lily suggested.
"Got parchment?" asked Lauren.
"I do," replied James.
James went digging through the pockets of his robes. He pulled out a crumpled piece of parchment and a quill. He kept digging for a moment and pulled out a small vial of ink.
"Jeez, what else do you keep in there?" Gwynn asked.
"Just the necessities," he replied.
"Uh huh," said Gwynn. James ripped the parchment into six pieces and wrote 'one' on two pieces, 'two' on another two, and 'three' on the final pieces. James took an empty goblet from the table and tossed the slips of paper in to it. He took one slip then passed the goblet to Lily. The goblet went around the group and they all looked at their papers.
"One," Gwynn and Lily said.
"Two," said James and Remus.
"Three," announced Lauren and Sirius.
"We'll take the dungeons," said James.
"We'll start at the third floor, " Lauren said.
"Okay, we'll take the seventh floor," Gwynn said.
They all split up leaving Peter in the Great Hall to finish his breakfast. Once in the Entrance Hall, James and Remus went down to the dungeons, while the other four went up the stairs. Lauren and Sirius split from Lily and Gwynn when they reached the third floor.
"We just had to take the seventh floor, didn't we?" Lily said as they tried to catch the staircases up.
"Well, think of it this way, when we discover a passage way on the seventh floor, we won't need these stairs any more," explained Gwynn.
"Too true," replied Lily.
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By nine, they all had returned with quite a few secret passages to tell of. The group composed a list of each passage; what floor it was on, what it was behind, where it led, and any spells that were needed.
"Well, we can get to all our classes a lot quicker now," Lily said looking over the completed list.
"And avoid Filch," added Sirius.
"Perfect for late night pranks," said James.
"You know it," agreed Lauren.
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A/n: I was extremely bored one day so I decided to do the number drawing thing again (yes I actually pulled numbers the first time I wrote this) and got the exact same results. Odd yes? I thought so.
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