Sweet Misery

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

The Daily Prophet

Thursday, December 24th, 1970

Wand Backfire Kills Young Girl

Hogwarts fourth-year student Gwyneth Black was found dead yesterday, December 23rd, outside an alleyway next to Dervish and Bangs, a small utility store in the village of Hogsmeade by her twin brother, Sirius Black, and his friends. Found next to her body was a snapped wand, which was identified as hers. Ministry officials believe this wand which appeared to have backfired causing her death. Upon examination of the wand, it was discovered that it contained the hair of a veela, which upon recent studies have proven to make wands highly temperamental. The veela hair core makes these wands highly prone to malfunctioning over a certain amount of time (each differing from wand to wand). There have been several reports of veela haired wands backfiring, but this one the first case resulting in death.

Prophet reporter, Ali Meismer, spoke with Mr. Olivander, the top wand supplier of Britain. "It's a shame," says Olivander. "I just regret not finding out the damage those wands could do sooner." Olivander is facing charges pressed against him by previous customers who have bought wands containing veela hairs. A trial date is set for the first day of the new year.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

The mahogany casket reflected the dancing light of the candles that lit the church. Surrounding the casket were bouquets of lilies and roses. The only noise that could be heard was the footsteps of relatives and close friends as they took their seats. The occasional sob could be heard, but the rest of the tears that fell that day were silent. Everyone was dressed in their finest black robes and most with a handkerchief in their hand. Sick of being hugged and told that everything would be okay, Sirius sat in a small room just to the left of the entrance of the church. Slumped back in a chair, he hoped to God that all this was just some horrible dream and he'd wake up at any moment. The footsteps outside the room slowed leaving only the sound of his breathing. He only looked up when he heard the door slowly opening. Lauren stepped in, brushing some lose strands of her hair behind her ear. She stared intently at the ground as she closed the door. She gasped and stumbled back when she saw Sirius sitting there.

"I didn't think anyone was in here," she said softly, still backed against the door.

"It's just too much…" Sirius mumbled.

"I know, I couldn't stand to be out there much longer," agreed Lauren. "The service is starting soon though, and we'll have to head back out there."

"Seems like some nightmare, doesn't it?"

Lauren sighed deeply and walked over to Sirius. She knelt down next to his chair and took his hand. "Too much so," she replied. "Why her though? What has she ever done to deserve this?" She looked up into Sirius's eyes. They were dull, like all life had been drained out of them. He was beyond tears. Lauren rubbed his hand gently. She knew exactly how he felt; she too had lost a sibling. She looked back at the ground, still holding on to Sirius's hand. Tears slowly slid down her cheeks. Lauren bit her lip, fighting back sobs and closing her eyes to stop more tears from falling. She felt Sirius's warm touch brush her tears away. She turned her eyes up towards Sirius. He still had the same expression as before. She finished wiping her tears away and stood up, letting go of Sirius's hand.

"We should get out there, the service is going to start any minute," she said. Sirius just nodded and stood up. Sirius hurriedly tied his tie and fixed his robes. Lauren slowly reached up, feeling rather awkward, and brushed some of Sirius's hair off his face. It fell right back almost immediately. She smiled weakly and shrugged.

Sirius turned to her. "Why are you smiling?"

"Your hair," Lauren said. "Never has behaved, never will. Not even for this...even James gelled his hair."

"Gwynn..." Sirius said, staring straight ahead again, "she used to tease me about it when we were kids. She...she always bugged me to try to tame it for...for weddings and stuff..." Lauren could tell that he was trying very hard not to cry.

"Oh," she said awkwardly. "Oh Sirius, I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have brought it up..."

"It's okay, Lauren," he said, turning back to her. "You couldn't have known." Sirius ran his hand through his hair, dislodging more hair from his carefully combed back hair. He tried to get the back off his face, but Lauren stopped his hand.

"Don't," she said, lowering his hand. "It looks good that way."

There was a short pause between them. Sirius was the first to speak, "We should take our seats, the service is about to start." Lauren nodded and Sirius led the way out of the room. They made their way to the row of seats where Peter, Lily, James, and Remus were seated. The two of them sat down. The vicar stood before the mourners and spoke in a clear voice that echoed through the silence.

"I welcome you all here on this cold morning in loving memory of Gwyneth Black. We have asked that Remus Lupin, Gwyneth's boyfriend, and Sirius Black, Gwyneth's brother to both say a few words."

Remus stood up and walked over to where the vicar had been standing. He took a deep breath and looked around at all the sorrowful faces there.

"I remember the day the Blacks moved in to the neighborhood where we all grew up together clearly," he began, his voice shaking slightly. "We were five and I had to be practically dragged out of the house to meet them, since back then I was considerably shy. I would've given anything to be somewhere else then out meeting new people. I recall running to my mum when Gwynn said 'hi' to me for the first time. But after spending some forced time together, I learned to like her brother and her.

"Gwynn taught me many things in our time together. She taught me to be outgoing, never to be ashamed of what I am, and most importantly to laugh. Gwynn never could stand to see one of her friends upset or depressed. If anyone in our small group of friends were feeling down, she'd find a way to make us feel better. Whether it'd be simply making a face or charming paper clips to sing and dance. She could make anyone laugh, well except the professors when her antics disturbed their class, which is if they caught her.

"I always admired her sense of adventure. She could never just sit around and wait for something to happen. If something was going on, she'd be out there right when it was happening or was apart of it and never on the sidelines. This also always had her out looking for trouble. No matter the consequences, she'd continue with her mission till she had achieved what she wanted, leading to numerous howlers and holding the detention record for a year.

"One thing I know I'll always miss about Gwynn is her smile. When she smiled, the day seemed to brighten, everything was right. When she smiled at me, I always wanted to smile back, no matter my mood. That smile told me that everything was going to be fine and nothing wrong was going to happen.

"That smile was also the reason I fell for her a while ago. Though, I never knew how much I loved her till I saw her cry for the first time back in our third year. Those tears unlocked something inside me that left me dying to be the one who could stop them. I imagined us being together till the end." Remus paused to try and compose himself. "But the end came far too soon for both of us. All I'm left with now is memories of our short relationship and her love. Back one night over a year ago, I told her, 'My heart is yours / From now until forever' and she promised her heart to me in return. Forever hasn't come and I don't intend on backing out on my word. Even if forever finally comes, I don't think I could stop loving her. My heart will always belong to Gwynn and I could never love another like I love her." Remus sighed and walked to his seat, passing Sirius, who patted his shoulder in a brotherly way.

"Gwynn Black was my sister. Being twins, I spent most of my life with her. In fact, the most time that I've ever spent apart from her was a few seconds, and yet, I feel like I never really knew her.

"Of course, being teenagers, we fought, just like all siblings do. We're twins, so we fought a lot more than average siblings, yet somehow, that brought us closer together, like the time that we plotted to put worms in our mum's pasta dish." He paused as he saw his mother smile meekly under the sheet of tears covering her face. "I was always waiting for the day when we would both break out of that awkward teenage stage where we were forced by some invisible force to fight with each other, so I could really get to know my sister more. I wanted nothing more than to be her friend. I never got a chance to tell her that, nor will I ever have a chance to be that. Now that she is gone forever, I wish that I hadn't waited for our adolescence to be over. I thought we had forever, and now we only have never.

"My good friend Remus, who spoke before me, was her boyfriend. All I could do when they were going out was to try to separate them. I didn't realize that they were really in love. All I wanted to do was separate them because I felt like I was loosing Gwynn, like some sort of strange paternal instinct was taking over me. She didn't know that - she only thought that I was trying to make her unhappy. I only wanted to shelter my baby sister. I...I...I wish...th...I hope that Gwynn knew that I loved her when she died and… and that I'd never want to make her unhappy.

"I don't know how I'll keep going on. I never spent more than a few seconds without her in my life, and now I'll have to live without her for the rest of my life."

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Back at the Blacks' home, the Marauder's, Lily, and Lauren sat secluded from the other people there. The six of them were all squeezed onto a couch and a love seat in the living room. None of them spoke for the longest time. Remus sat with his hands clenched tightly together; Lauren was deep in thought and stared blankly at the ground at James' feet; laying his head back and listening to the chatter of the people around him, Sirius sighed. Lily was biting at her nails, not realizing she was doing so, and Peter was pondering what his master had in store for him next. Lauren broke from her trance and looked around at her friends. Her gaze stopped on Remus.

"Remus, you're bleeding!" she said pointing to his hands. Remus looked at her then at his hands where a trail of blood was creeping down his fingers and dropping on to his robes. That's when the sting of pain hit him. He opened his hands. There, imbedded in his left hand was Gwynn's broken necklace.

Lauren stared at his hands. "The bloody hands…" she mumbled.

"What?" Lily asked, as she helped Remus with his wound.

"M-my dream… I get it now," she said looking at the others. "It foretold Gwynn's death."

"What dream?" James asked.

"That reoccurring one that made no sense! It all makes sense now! Except the rats…"

"Tell us," Sirius said.

"Well, we were all like lost in some major blizzard," said Lauren. "There was like nothing around, nothing we could see anyway. We were walking blindly around, no idea to where we were going. We all slowly disappeared. Lily was the first to go. A while after she vanished, the guys disappeared. Though Remus hung around a bit, holding on to Gwynn's hand, blood dripping from them, though not noticed by either of them. I'm kinda embarrassed to say that I thought it was Remus who… well, you know. But I totally don't think that any more. Remus kissed Gwynn, and as they kissed he faded away. Gwynn and I continued through the storm, till we came to a shadowy figure. I ran up to him and the two of us disappeared, leaving Gwynn alone. She continued to walk on, following footprints in the snow she believed to be ours. She stopped when she heard something behind her. She turned to look and saw this dark pack of something running straight towards her. Now waiting to find out she ran as fats as she could screaming for help. The sky turned red and she reached a large ice wall. She turned to run the other way, but the dark swarm had her surrounded. The heard was a bunch of rats. The next part happened so fast. The ice wall glowed green and shattered. Then I'd always would wake up."

"So it's because we all left her alone?" Lily asked.

"That's what the dream told me," Lauren replied.

"I knew I shouldn't have left her," Remus mumbled, burying his face in his hands.

"It's not your fault Remus," James said.

"Yes it is," he said.

"Remus, if it's anybody's fault, it's mine," Lauren said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I should've paid more attention to the dream, and plus, I was the last one with her! I let her go off while I sat and flirted with some guy!"

"Excuse me," Remus stood up and walked out of the living room leaving the group in silence. He kept walking through the house weaving through the crowd. As he walked through he caught a few conversations. Most consisted of: "She was a wonderful child" "It's such a tragedy" and "Can a backfiring wand do that?"

He tried to block out the words of everyone he passed. He didn't stop till he was outside. He slumped down on a bench and completely broke down. He didn't hold back like he had over the past few days. Remus buried his head in his hands. He couldn't help but feel that Gwynn's death was completely his fault.

"Why Gwynn?" Remus whispered. "Why her?!" he shouted to the empty yard. "Why not someone else? Why?" He gritted his teeth and began to shake uncontrollably. He felt a sudden shock of pain. He lowered his hands and saw his nails grow into claws. He slowly turned his hands over and saw patches of fur sprouting up. "No… not now…" He couldn't be transforming now, it was still mid afternoon and a week till the next full moon. A wave of pain swept over him. He fell from the bench and to his knees, whispering in a pained voice, "Not yet! Not yet!"

"Remus, where are you?" someone said from the back door. Remus, clutching his sides, looked up and saw Sirius through the bare branches of a bush. "Remus, I know you're out here." Sirius looked around, but didn't notice Remus.

"Sirius," Remus said through gritted teeth, his voice coming out more like a growl. "Get… away…"

"Remus!" he shouted, running over to Remus's side. Remus could feel the wolf taking over. "Remus calm down! You can change back!" Remus's claws dug into the ground. He fought to regain control but couldn't focus. All he felt was hatred and sorrow; a longing to kill whom ever killed Gwynn. These feelings fueled the wolf. Remus swung his clawed right hand at Sirius, snarling as he did so. Sirius dodged the attack and tackled Remus to the ground, pinning Remus's arms to his side.

"Remus, I know how you feel!" he shouted trying to get him to calm down. Remus thrashed around trying to escape. Sirius knew he had to reach Remus. The last thing anyone needed was a werewolf loose in London. "It's not your fault she's dead! Fate works in cruel ways! I know you loved her, I did too! You can't go on blaming yourself or seeking revenge!" Remus gave a violent thrash nearly escaping Sirius's grasp. "Remus stop! Gwynn wouldn't wanted you to act this way!" He knew he had struck a nerve when Remus stopped struggling. Sirius slowly let go as Remus became still. Sirius stepped back as Remus transformed back into his normal self. "I'm sorry Remus." Remus just stood up, not looking Sirius in the eyes.

"You monster," came the hate-filled voice of Lydia Black. Remus looked up and saw many of the people at the reception standing there, staring in shock and fear. Lauren, Lily, James, and Peter pushed their way through the crowd towards Sirius and Remus.

"What happened?" James asked only loud enough for the six of them to hear.

"I changed," Remus replied.

"That's impossible, it's the afternoon," Lauren said.

"I know," said Remus.

"You horrible beast!" Mrs. Black shouted. "I want you off my property now!" Remus did as he was told and started to walk through the crowd the part to keep their distance.

"Remus wait up!" Lily shouted running to catch up.

"Yeah, wait for us," said James joining Remus and Lily. Peter caught up with them and Sirius started towards them when his mother grabbed his arm.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked.

"Going with my friends," replied Sirius.

"If you leave you're not coming back!"

"Fine." Sirius pulled his arm free and caught up with the others.

Once off the Black's property, they signaled for the Knight Bus.

"Sirius, don't you think that was a little extreme?" asked Remus.

"Getting banished from my home?" said Sirius. "Nah. Anyway, it's not the first. It happens at least once a year. She always sends an owl saying she forgives me and that I can come home."

"So it's kind of a ritual," said Lauren.

"Yup," Sirius said.

Once the Knight bus arrived, they all climbed on and headed back to Hogwarts. The ride was pretty much quiet. Remus was stretched out across a few chairs sleeping. Lily was staring out the window at the scenery flashing past. Lauren and Sirius were talking softly so not to disturb Remus.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

A/n: Yes, werewolf transformations can be triggered by emotions. I've done my research. I'd like to thank Sexy Dancing Paper Clip for helping with Sirius's speech.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+