"What in the fuck is Skip-Bo?" asked a prep. "Silence!" Shouted the hooded
figure. "It's when you..... ummmm..... Well, it's simple, you see....
uhhh... damnit, Xelkitti. Could you help me out? What the hell is Skip-Bo?"
He remembered all too late what her response would be "Sore wa himitsu
desu!" Shouted Xelkitti, triumphantly. "Mother of fuck!" Shouted the hooded
figure. "Well, since we don't know what the hell this is, and since we need
some basis for this part of the storyline...." The hooded figure lowered
his hood. "It is I, Mike! Founder and co-author of this story!"
"Yare....Yare...." Said Xellkitti. "Is that the best name you could come up
with?" "What the hell are you talking about!?" asked Mike, a bit peeved off
"This is my name, after all!!!" "yeah, but couldn't you have come up with a
cool alias, or some sort of codename? Come on! Be creative!" "Oh fine...."
muttered mike, quite evidently about to go into spasms of rage. "uhhhhh....
how about.... a name like...... zyg.........." "Excuse me?" asked Xelkitti,
motioning for him to speak up, although she quite clearly heard him the
first time. "I SAID ZYG!" Screamed mike, quite pissed off by now. "That
name sucks!" said Xelkiti. "I think it's cute!" said a cheerleader. She got
it straight through the head. Five whole sporks. "How about a name
like....." Xelkitti thought for a moment "Mirari! Or maybe.... Ather!"
"ohhhhh...." moaned 'Zyg'. "Those are only mildly better, and they still
sound corny....." "Well, hurry up, or you name will be Zyg for the rest of
this story, and for a lot of other things, for that matter." "Ok.... lemme
think...." mike thought. "How about Mtzrhgrr?" "What!? I can't even
pronounce that! It-has-no-consonants!!!!" "Alright! How about....." a
thought popped into his head "Verath!" "Hmmmmm...." thought Xelkitti "It's
none too menacing, and it doesn't stick, but it sounds fast, and it has
vowels in it. Ok, but we'll have to change it when we get done here."
"Alright, glad that's over. My name still sucks, and we still don't know
what Skip-Bo is. Could you enlighten us, Xelkitti?" "Uhhhhh..... no? I've
really quite forgotten. For real." "Damnit!!!!!!!" And so they sat. And
waited. And They sat and waited until XELKITTI COMES BACK AND TELLS ME
EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCKING HELL SKIP-BO IS, AND I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF SHE
MEANT IT AS A JOKE, WHICH IS PRETTY PATHETIC!!!!! And while they waited, I
made this tribute to Dr. Seuss's green eggs and ham. More of a parody,
actually.
Hello, I am Sam. Sam I am! Won't you try these green eggs and ham?
I won't eat that shit and ham! Sam I am, you be damned!
Would you eat them in the rain?
No, I'd rather cause you pain!
Would you eat them in a truck?
Get away from me, you stupid fuck!
Would you eat them, in this store?
Back away, you dirty whore!
Would you eat them, during this bank heist?
I'm warning you, i'm the anti-christ!
Will you eat them, here or there?
Your mental capabilities, I'd like to impair!
I'll use blackmail to get you to eat the green eggs and ham!
Please! Don't tell the cops I killed a man!
Fine i'll eat this dirty crap! Just to keep the murder under wraps!
(eats the green eggs and ham, and promptly realizes he's been poisoned)
This ham isn't ham! and these eggs aren't eggs! You tricked me sam! I'll break your legs!
I was with the FBI! you would have noticed my badge, if you tried!
I'll take that statement about killing a man as a confession! too bad you won't have a funeral procession! (takes gun, fires into guy's skull, and pushes body into sewer. laughs maniacally.)
Well, whaddaya think? It's kinda quirky, but I like it.
Hello, I am Sam. Sam I am! Won't you try these green eggs and ham?
I won't eat that shit and ham! Sam I am, you be damned!
Would you eat them in the rain?
No, I'd rather cause you pain!
Would you eat them in a truck?
Get away from me, you stupid fuck!
Would you eat them, in this store?
Back away, you dirty whore!
Would you eat them, during this bank heist?
I'm warning you, i'm the anti-christ!
Will you eat them, here or there?
Your mental capabilities, I'd like to impair!
I'll use blackmail to get you to eat the green eggs and ham!
Please! Don't tell the cops I killed a man!
Fine i'll eat this dirty crap! Just to keep the murder under wraps!
(eats the green eggs and ham, and promptly realizes he's been poisoned)
This ham isn't ham! and these eggs aren't eggs! You tricked me sam! I'll break your legs!
I was with the FBI! you would have noticed my badge, if you tried!
I'll take that statement about killing a man as a confession! too bad you won't have a funeral procession! (takes gun, fires into guy's skull, and pushes body into sewer. laughs maniacally.)
Well, whaddaya think? It's kinda quirky, but I like it.
