"Alright, everyone! Settle down! We're going to have a meeting about your
progression in your various fields of 'business." Said Verath, as everyone
sat down. Xelkitti sat down, and Xelfan12 ran through the door.
"Sorry i'm late. Wait, no, i'm not sorry." said Xelfan12.
Quite alright, my good man. Have a seat." Verath motioned for his bestest friend to sit next to him.
"Now, I called you all here today-" Verath stopped talking, but his lips were still moving. The salepeople had a confused expression on their faces, while Xelkitti and Xelfan12 tried to suppress their laughter.
"Oh my god! I've gone deaf!" said one salesperson.
"Me too!" said another, too stupid to realize the irony of what he'd just said. There was a great commotion, and then Verath began speaking again.
"-And that is why casual Friday has been moved to January."
"Wait!" said a salesperson "January isn't a day! It's a month!"
"No, you are not listening!" said verath, with a slight but undetectable smirk. "There are seven months in a year, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, correct?"
"Bu-"
"And there are twelve days in each month, January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December. Except for Tuesday, which has thirteen days, one being Octobruary. Now, shut up and listen." the salespeople were working frantically to try and work this one out.
"God, they're dumb." said Xelkitti, laughing.
"Oh, by the way," said Xelfan12 'Xellos said you guys ordered new weapons. I already got my enchanted blackjack made of sheep stomach filled with marbles, but I think your weapons will be equally as fascinating." He handed them two boxes. Xelkitti and Verath opened them anxiously.
"Wow! they finally came!" they shouted in unison. Xelkitti held up what seemed to be a giant pair of scissors. But they were brilliantly decorated with jagged edges and sharp blades, and were all black and perfectly symmetrical.
"Scissors?" asked xelfan12, skeptically.
"Not just scissors, death scissors. The kind the reapers use when they get bored with their scythes." said Xelkitti, slightly annoyed.
"What did you get?" Xelkitti asked Verath, anxiously. Verath looked up quickly. He saw that the salespeople were still arguing. They would probably have another hour or so.
"I got....." Verath reached into the box, and started spinning the two weapons at high speed around his fingers. They stopped, and revealed themselves to be two extremely large handguns with two triggers on each.
".... Devil Magnums." he said, dramatically. "They have more accuracy than a sniper rifle, wider range than a shotgun, and they're more powerful than a rail gun. They can only hold six shots apiece, but they don't need more than two to clear a room two times the size of this one. They release such power when triggered, they can rip apart anything within ten feet of the path of the bullet. The target, if hit, will be totally obliterated. Of course, they have a tremendous recoil and the strength needed to pull the trigger is almost that of one hundred large horse pulling on it."
"What's the second trigger for?" asked Xelkitti, drooling over the pistols.
"That's the death trigger." said Verath "It does even more damage."
"Well, that all sounds great," said Xelfan12 "but let's see what mine and Xelkitti's weapons can do first."
"Sorry i'm late. Wait, no, i'm not sorry." said Xelfan12.
Quite alright, my good man. Have a seat." Verath motioned for his bestest friend to sit next to him.
"Now, I called you all here today-" Verath stopped talking, but his lips were still moving. The salepeople had a confused expression on their faces, while Xelkitti and Xelfan12 tried to suppress their laughter.
"Oh my god! I've gone deaf!" said one salesperson.
"Me too!" said another, too stupid to realize the irony of what he'd just said. There was a great commotion, and then Verath began speaking again.
"-And that is why casual Friday has been moved to January."
"Wait!" said a salesperson "January isn't a day! It's a month!"
"No, you are not listening!" said verath, with a slight but undetectable smirk. "There are seven months in a year, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, correct?"
"Bu-"
"And there are twelve days in each month, January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December. Except for Tuesday, which has thirteen days, one being Octobruary. Now, shut up and listen." the salespeople were working frantically to try and work this one out.
"God, they're dumb." said Xelkitti, laughing.
"Oh, by the way," said Xelfan12 'Xellos said you guys ordered new weapons. I already got my enchanted blackjack made of sheep stomach filled with marbles, but I think your weapons will be equally as fascinating." He handed them two boxes. Xelkitti and Verath opened them anxiously.
"Wow! they finally came!" they shouted in unison. Xelkitti held up what seemed to be a giant pair of scissors. But they were brilliantly decorated with jagged edges and sharp blades, and were all black and perfectly symmetrical.
"Scissors?" asked xelfan12, skeptically.
"Not just scissors, death scissors. The kind the reapers use when they get bored with their scythes." said Xelkitti, slightly annoyed.
"What did you get?" Xelkitti asked Verath, anxiously. Verath looked up quickly. He saw that the salespeople were still arguing. They would probably have another hour or so.
"I got....." Verath reached into the box, and started spinning the two weapons at high speed around his fingers. They stopped, and revealed themselves to be two extremely large handguns with two triggers on each.
".... Devil Magnums." he said, dramatically. "They have more accuracy than a sniper rifle, wider range than a shotgun, and they're more powerful than a rail gun. They can only hold six shots apiece, but they don't need more than two to clear a room two times the size of this one. They release such power when triggered, they can rip apart anything within ten feet of the path of the bullet. The target, if hit, will be totally obliterated. Of course, they have a tremendous recoil and the strength needed to pull the trigger is almost that of one hundred large horse pulling on it."
"What's the second trigger for?" asked Xelkitti, drooling over the pistols.
"That's the death trigger." said Verath "It does even more damage."
"Well, that all sounds great," said Xelfan12 "but let's see what mine and Xelkitti's weapons can do first."