"MOST anything," pointed out Mundus, "Your pathetic dark fire is no match
for my freezing fart!"
"WHAAAAAAAT?!" all three companions yelled at once, then fell to the floor laughing uncontrollably.
"Shut up laughing!" demanded Mundus. He had no effect whatsoever on them.
"So he's going to FART at you?!" laughed Xelkitti, holding her sides.
"My god, this is too much, make it stop," gasped Xelfan12 between bouts of laughter.
"I don't think we'll even get to fight, we're gonna die laughing," said Verath.
"THIS IS NOT FUNNY!!!!" roared Mundus, "GET UP AND FIGHT YOU COWARDS!!!"
"Yeah, we're terrified of your fart," said Xelfan12, sarcastically. He stopped laughing. They calmed down enough to stop laughing. Xelkitti and Verath flew onto a ceiling beam to watch the upcoming battle. Xelfan12 and Mundus began circling each other warily, waiting to see who would make the first move. Mundus abruptly stopped circling as his face took on an expression of intense concentration. Xelfan12 also stopped, ready to dodge or counterattack whatever Mundus was going to do. Then....PPPPPPPHHHHHHT!!! Mundus farted. Not just any fart, the freezing fart. Pale blue gases eeked out of his butt...freezing everything with a thin layer of ice. But it wasn't the freezing that was bad, Xelfan12 could easily deflect that, it was the SMELL. Gods, as long as he had lived (and that's pretty damned long) Xelfan12 had never encountered ANYTHING that smelled as bad as this. It was the Mother of all Farts, it was freaking unholy. He'd never thought such pungency could exist. It was worse than a field of rotting bodies on a hot August a day after a battle. It was worse than the Roman Sewage system. It made landfills look like fields of sweet wildflowers. Take every odor you have smelled in your entire life, roll it together, and you'll get a hundreth of what Xelfan12 was suffering. He sank to his knees, the bile rising in his throat. It was too much. He felt dizzy and couldn't seem to move right. He was barely aware of his own retching.
"Now I REALLY feel bad for taking the easy one," Verath said the Xelkitti.
"Yeah," she agreed, "Nosegay, Verath?" Verath nearly tumbled off his rafter backing way from the offending object.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!!!" he screamed.
"It's blood-scented," said Xelkitti.
"Oh." Verath took the nosegay.
Meanwhile, Mundus was throwing an Ice Lance at Xelfan12. He barely got out of there in time. One of the shards of ice cut his shoulder. He disappeared in to the shadows, literally.
"COME OUT YOU COWARD!!!" Mundus shouted, shooting ice arrows everywhere.
"I told you fire and darkness can beat most anything," Xelfan12's voice said. Because of his darkness element, he was able to become darkness and hide in shadows. Mundus cast a lighting, hoping to force Xelfan12 out of his shadow form, but Xelfan12 just moved to the rafters. Mundus was berated with a number of fireballs and flare arrows raining down upon him. Several of them hit their mark. He roared in pain. Then, Xelfan12 teleported behind him with his organic sword, ready to slice off Mundus's head. Mundus whipped around and spat at him. Xelfan12 dodged it, but not the icicle assault that followed. (TOTALLY stolen from Rayearth) Then came the battle of organic sword against claws and icy spit. Mundus quickly realized he was no match for the everchanging organic sword. He played his final card, the freezing fart, hoping to stun Xelfan12 long enough for him to finish him off. PPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTT!!! This one was even worse than the last one, by tenfold at least. Xelfan12 fell again. Mundus reared over him. It seemed all over, until a tendril of fire shot out of Xelfan12 outstretched hand, right into the cloud of gas. The gas burst into the flames at once, and the fire spread back to it's source, up Mundus's ass. Mundus roared in agony as the flames shot up his butt, he was burning from the inside! All the gases from his farts gave fuel to the fire until finally he exploded. The pieces of him still flaming until they were nothing more than ashes. Xelkitti and Verath clapped extra hard for this show of pyrotechnics. Xelfan12 recovered enough to bow for his delighted audience.
"So where's our answers?" asked Xelkitti, after they'd stopped applauding.
"Oh, DAMN, I think we killed them all. George said they'd give us the answers if we defeated them, but we killed them all," said Verath.
"Weren't we supposed to kill them all? I mean, that's the same as defeating, isn't it?"
"WHAAAAAAAT?!" all three companions yelled at once, then fell to the floor laughing uncontrollably.
"Shut up laughing!" demanded Mundus. He had no effect whatsoever on them.
"So he's going to FART at you?!" laughed Xelkitti, holding her sides.
"My god, this is too much, make it stop," gasped Xelfan12 between bouts of laughter.
"I don't think we'll even get to fight, we're gonna die laughing," said Verath.
"THIS IS NOT FUNNY!!!!" roared Mundus, "GET UP AND FIGHT YOU COWARDS!!!"
"Yeah, we're terrified of your fart," said Xelfan12, sarcastically. He stopped laughing. They calmed down enough to stop laughing. Xelkitti and Verath flew onto a ceiling beam to watch the upcoming battle. Xelfan12 and Mundus began circling each other warily, waiting to see who would make the first move. Mundus abruptly stopped circling as his face took on an expression of intense concentration. Xelfan12 also stopped, ready to dodge or counterattack whatever Mundus was going to do. Then....PPPPPPPHHHHHHT!!! Mundus farted. Not just any fart, the freezing fart. Pale blue gases eeked out of his butt...freezing everything with a thin layer of ice. But it wasn't the freezing that was bad, Xelfan12 could easily deflect that, it was the SMELL. Gods, as long as he had lived (and that's pretty damned long) Xelfan12 had never encountered ANYTHING that smelled as bad as this. It was the Mother of all Farts, it was freaking unholy. He'd never thought such pungency could exist. It was worse than a field of rotting bodies on a hot August a day after a battle. It was worse than the Roman Sewage system. It made landfills look like fields of sweet wildflowers. Take every odor you have smelled in your entire life, roll it together, and you'll get a hundreth of what Xelfan12 was suffering. He sank to his knees, the bile rising in his throat. It was too much. He felt dizzy and couldn't seem to move right. He was barely aware of his own retching.
"Now I REALLY feel bad for taking the easy one," Verath said the Xelkitti.
"Yeah," she agreed, "Nosegay, Verath?" Verath nearly tumbled off his rafter backing way from the offending object.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!!!" he screamed.
"It's blood-scented," said Xelkitti.
"Oh." Verath took the nosegay.
Meanwhile, Mundus was throwing an Ice Lance at Xelfan12. He barely got out of there in time. One of the shards of ice cut his shoulder. He disappeared in to the shadows, literally.
"COME OUT YOU COWARD!!!" Mundus shouted, shooting ice arrows everywhere.
"I told you fire and darkness can beat most anything," Xelfan12's voice said. Because of his darkness element, he was able to become darkness and hide in shadows. Mundus cast a lighting, hoping to force Xelfan12 out of his shadow form, but Xelfan12 just moved to the rafters. Mundus was berated with a number of fireballs and flare arrows raining down upon him. Several of them hit their mark. He roared in pain. Then, Xelfan12 teleported behind him with his organic sword, ready to slice off Mundus's head. Mundus whipped around and spat at him. Xelfan12 dodged it, but not the icicle assault that followed. (TOTALLY stolen from Rayearth) Then came the battle of organic sword against claws and icy spit. Mundus quickly realized he was no match for the everchanging organic sword. He played his final card, the freezing fart, hoping to stun Xelfan12 long enough for him to finish him off. PPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTT!!! This one was even worse than the last one, by tenfold at least. Xelfan12 fell again. Mundus reared over him. It seemed all over, until a tendril of fire shot out of Xelfan12 outstretched hand, right into the cloud of gas. The gas burst into the flames at once, and the fire spread back to it's source, up Mundus's ass. Mundus roared in agony as the flames shot up his butt, he was burning from the inside! All the gases from his farts gave fuel to the fire until finally he exploded. The pieces of him still flaming until they were nothing more than ashes. Xelkitti and Verath clapped extra hard for this show of pyrotechnics. Xelfan12 recovered enough to bow for his delighted audience.
"So where's our answers?" asked Xelkitti, after they'd stopped applauding.
"Oh, DAMN, I think we killed them all. George said they'd give us the answers if we defeated them, but we killed them all," said Verath.
"Weren't we supposed to kill them all? I mean, that's the same as defeating, isn't it?"