Constellation
MysticShadowWanderer
Disclaimer: Why do I even bother with these?
Warning: Lemon. Lots of lemon. Little kids... I know you're going to read this anyway, and frankly, I don't care. Don't blame me for your corruption you little bastards.
Chapter Nine: Your Sins Into Me
The shaking of Kaoru's limbs was unable to be calmed, and Battousai's lingering rage was of no help to her. With violently trembling hands, she fumbled with the doorknob to the apartment, and found herself useless to open it. Battousai eased her hands away and pulled the door open for her, watching her carefully as she went straight to the couch and sat down, coat, shoes, and all. She wrapped the blanket that she'd left there around her shoulders and rocked herself back and forth as she sobbed.
"Damn," Battousai swore softly.
He'd told her that he would protect her, and he'd failed on that account. He'd been so careless as to let himself be shot, and then he wasn't strong enough to take care of her like she deserved. And he'd killed so many people, so many people that really didn't deserve to die. Innocent people on the street had fallen beneath his blade. That wasn't the way it was supposed to be.
"Damn it all!" he shouted, reaching out with his good arm to swipe a vase off a nearby table and send it to the floor to shatter.
The wild, angry action caught Kaoru's attention swiftly, and she looked up at him with tears rolling down her face and fear in her eyes. He met gazes with her, and instantly knew that this was a side of him that he'd never wanted her to see. But it wasn't his fault, he was just so angry. There was no helping it.
After Battousai took the legs off a chair with his katana and threw another vase against the wall, Kaoru leapt up, tossing her blanket aside, and grabbed his arm as he made to put his fist through the wall. He spun to face her, eyes swirling with emotion. She shrank away from him slightly, but couldn't help but be drawn to those eyes, eyes that were normally cold and unreadable.
"Enough," she whispered. "It's not your fault."
He shook his arm free of her grasp so that he could pull her body against his, ignoring the pain that shot through his broken arm that was trapped between them. His breathing was erratic as he held her to him, hiding his face in the crook of her neck.
"I made a promise to you, and I broke it," he said quietly.
"No. You saved me, Battousai. You saved me."
Pressing his lips to the skin of her neck, he kissed her fervently, trying to drown out the feelings of failure and anger that were threatening to overwhelm him. She clutched at his back, her hands fisted in the material of his shirt. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her, and he knew just how frightened of him she had been. She seemed to have shed that fear, but would she pick it back up later? It had happened before.
"Kaoru," he said, pulling back slightly so that he could see her. "Kaoru look at me."
Lifting her chin with two fingers, he forced her eyes to make contact with his. He read no fear, no regret, only sadness and loneliness that he wanted more than anything to dispel.
"What do you want from me, sweetheart?" he asked softly.
She blinked and stared at him somewhat blankly. It confused her that he was giving her a choice. Then again, he'd done so from the beginning. If she were being honest with herself, she would admit that she was slightly afraid of him and his violent anger that still lurked just behind the concern in his eyes. But her love and desire for him made that fear seem inconsequential; she took him by the hand and led him into his bedroom.
As they tumbled into bed, Battousai on top of Kaoru, he reached for the ties to his sling, freeing his broken arm. It was in a cast, and he consoled himself with that. Kaoru yanked out the tie that held his hair in a high knot, and he hissed as she took a chunk of crimson hair with it. The unapologetic look on her face was quickly driving him crazy. Oh, she was everything that he'd imagined that she would be. He'd known, from the moment he'd met her, that she was full of passion, and it had been slow torture to have to restrain himself when he could, at times, see so clearly in her eyes what she could do and what she could be.
Battousai sat up as Kaoru pushed herself away from the edge and further into the middle of the bed. She looked so delightfully decadent, the expression on her face so playfully fierce, that had he not known better, he would have thought that she had spent years learning what he liked. She pouted as he sat completely still before she stretched out one still-booted foot to him. Not needing to be told twice, he swiftly unlaced and removed the shoe, tossing it disdainfully across the room, soon to be followed by the second boot and then her socks.
Kaoru leaned back on one elbow and reached out the other hand to Battousai, who took it eagerly in his one good hand and leaned forward to swirl his tongue around her palm and rasp his teeth across her skin. Her intake of breath when he drew each finger into his mouth erotically was savored by him, and he wanted to test her the best way he knew how. He wanted to know what made her gasp, what made her moan, what made her scream. She closed her eyes and flopped down on her back as he made his way up her bare arm. The act of willing submission didn't pass unnoticed, and Battousai showed her his gratitude by shifting his weight over hers, supporting himself with his uninjured arm, and setting his lips gently against hers.
A sigh escaped her as she strained upward to deepen the kiss. Battousai teased her, withheld the pressure that they both wanted, until she opened her eyes to stare insistently at her. His lips curved into a smirk.
"Say it, Kaoru," he commanded. "Tell me what you need."
"Kiss me," she replied without hesitation. "Touch me... teach me."
His eyes lit with her words. There was so much that he could teach her. But the first thing he wanted to show her, he knew, was how to love without being afraid. How to let herself go without worrying about the consequences.
"Patience, love," he whispered against her lips as she moved beneath him, trying to bring his mouth down to hers.
Finally, with her hands twined roughly in his hair, he relented, crushing his mouth to hers. She moaned and arched her body against his as he slipped his tongue into between her lips. His eyes widened when she pulled back and bit down viciously on his lower lip, leaving him with the copper taste of blood in his mouth. After taking a second to let his mind register her action, he grinned at her.
"You like it like that?" He didn't give her time to answer before he tore her button-down shirt off and began to trail his mouth down her neck.
Kaoru cried out as he carefully sank his teeth into the tender flesh at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. His tongue lapped at the wound as he sucked and licked at her skin. He reminded her of an animal, fierce and possessive, needy and heated. That fire in him in turn ignited her, and she found herself taking pleasure in the pain that he so deliberately inflicted on her.
"Go ahead," he rasped as he fumbled with the snap to her bra. "Hurt me. Make me bleed. You know you want to. You've always wanted to."
He lifted his chin to stare at her with amber eyes that burned her on the spot. The look on his face was begging for it, needing to feel so alive. But his condition wasn't unheeded by her, and she shook her head. He sighed and dipped his head to rest it just above her breasts.
"I see," he said after a moment. "If you won't take what you want... I'll make you beg for it."
Kaoru wasn't entirely sure that she liked the sound of his much less than empty threat. Battousai was suddenly off her body and off the bed, in the corner grappling with something. Before she could protest, he'd secured her hands to the head of his bed with a string that he'd materialized from... where?
'Ah, my shoelaces.'
She struggled, writhing her body to achieve more than just the too-light contact of his hand on her side, but he refused to let her up, further holding her by kneeling between her legs and then pinning her down with his own legs. It was an intimidating sight to watch him sit there and just stare down at her half-naked body while he was fully clothed. Intimidating and arousing. He smiled gently at her as he ran his hand from the base of her throat, between her breasts, down her stomach to circle her navel, and then to tug at the waistline of her jeans.
"I think these need to come off, don't you?" he asked teasingly.
"Take them off then," Kaoru said in a low tone. "If you want them off, take them."
Battousai raised an eyebrow at her in approval. He wouldn't have guessed that she was so forward, so sure of herself. Then again, he wouldn't have guessed that he would have enjoyed it quite as much as he was. The seductive tone of her voice was humming through his veins and he close his eyes for just a moment. When he opened them to look at her, she lifted her hips slightly, asking without words. There was no hesitation in his hands as he swiftly stripped the rest of her clothing off, leaving her naked for him to admire.
His touch was everywhere and nowhere at once, too fleeting to bring any satisfaction, and she bit her lip as he settled his weight next to her and ran his fingers tauntingly around one breast. She strained upward into his hand, needing the reassurance of his touch.
"Tell me, sweetheart," he said with a smirk. "Just ask, and you can have whatever you want."
"Touch me, Battousai, please," she whimpered, forgetting everything as he spread his palm over her breast, massaging gently.
"I mean that," he said after a moment. "Whatever you need, whatever you want, is yours." He paused. "I don't want to scare you."
The consideration that tempered the need in his voice sent heat rushing through Kaoru's body and she moaned softly. He smiled at her before bending down to take her lips in a soft, selfless kiss. He repeated the words, prompting her to ask for what she wanted, consoling her remaining fears, and healing her with the low baritone of his voice.
"Battousai..." she whispered as he trailed his hand down her stomach and then lower until he reached his goal. She whimpered, arching into the tender press of his hand. "Love me," she moaned.
He nodded and dipped his head forward to kiss her deeply, tugging at her bottom lip with her teeth, everything about him gentleness and thoughtfulness. The anger that had lingered in him was quickly drifting away as he sat up to watch the expression of pleasure as he stroked her into her climax. As she shuddered, he reached up and untied her hands, suddenly realizing that he had her tied up like her captors had twice before, a thought that disgusted him. After licking his fingers clean, reveling in the shocked look on her face, he laid down next to her, drawing her warm body next to his clothed one.
It was so forbidden, so erotic, to Kaoru to lie completely naked when Battousai, still fully clothed, brought her to such heights of pleasure, but she would not deny him. She knew that she was his to do with what he wanted, and it could have made her cry to think that what he wanted to do was show her how to love, to give no thought to his own desire as he touched and kissed her into ecstasy. His tender consideration made her want to show him the same pleasure, to treat him as he'd treated her.
Kaoru gazed into Battousai's eyes, fascinated by the depth of the molten amber that she saw there. The fury was fading, being replaced with passion, desire, and a possessiveness that drove her insane.
"Kaoru," he whispered, his lips against her temple. "I'm sorry."
Her brow furrowed as he attempted to understand that. "For what?"
"For tying you up like that," he replied quietly, taking both of her wrists in his free hand and bringing them to his lips, where he kissed the scars before running his tongue over them to clean off the blood. "I should have thought..."
Kaoru shook her head. "No, it's alright."
He smiled thankfully and released her hands, running his own hand up her throat to stroke the soft skin at the underside of her jaw. She turned to take another kiss from him, and in doing so, rubbed her body against his. Despite his plan to take things slowly, he felt that maddening desire rising in him again as she pressed herself against him.
"Take off your clothes," she breathed against his lips.
Within seconds, he'd completely removed every last article of clothing and was pinning her body down with his. The feel of hot skin on skin was intense, and he groaned low in his throat as he slid his body along hers. Her hands roamed over his shoulders and back, then down to his abdomen to trail circles with her splayed fingers. Their tongues tangled in a demanding kiss, and Battousai was surprised to note how hard he was panting when they came up gasping for air.
He growled his shock when he suddenly felt Kaoru's fingers moving with gentle pressure down his arousal in a slow tease. The groan that escaped him was unable to be withheld, and he smirked down at her. The arrogant look left his face to be replaced with one of pleasure as she stroked him with her fingers. Where had she learned that? he thought with another groan.
"Kaoru, sweetheart," he panted. "I need you."
She reached her hands up to cup his cheeks and kiss him again, then nodded her assent. With a quick twist of his hips, Battousai joined them, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh that said so much more than he knew how to put into words. He trembled slightly as he laid over her, waiting for her to move first, still giving her the option to run away. This was for her, to heal her heart, and he didn't want to take more than he gave.
Kaoru shifted, sending pleasure tripping down Battousai's spine. When she lifted one leg and wrapped it around his hips, his control snapped and he began to slowly stroke in and out of her. Her voice rose in a long, low moan, and she cried out for more. Nothing in him would allow him to even think of denying her as he quickened the pace. She dropped her leg to caress the backs of his legs with her foot, then to grind him more firmly against him, and he couldn't help the small yelp that he let out. To his utter amazement, Kaoru giggled at that. He smiled at her before thrusting in harder, determined to take her higher so that they might fall harder. Their voices harmonized in moans and groans as they strove for it.
Battousai heightened the cadence, plunging into her insistently until she cried out his name, her voice a high cry that contrasted the low groan that he let out a few moments later. He let his weight fall over hers, his shaking arm unable to support himself, and her arms encircled him tightly, gladly accepting the heaviness of his body.
A few moments later, Battousai rolled to the side and Kaoru sucked in a deep breath. A warm smile crept onto his face as she nestled into his side and he wrapped his good arm around her, fumbling to pull the sheets over them with his other hand. Kaoru finally helped him, chuckling at his frustration. With her head resting against his sweat-slicked chest, she sighed happily and nuzzled him with her nose.
"I love you, Battousai."
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and mumbled his reply against her hair.
"Thank you, Kaoru."
"For what?"
"For letting me teach you how to love again. I want to be the only one to remind you when you forget, for the rest of your life. Don't forget that, little one. You're mine."
Kaoru smiled against his skin. That was his own way of telling her the same thing she'd told him, she knew. For whatever reason, he couldn't quite come out and say it, but in a way, what he'd said was better, more meaningful. With a yawn, she nodded sleepily and finally closed her eyes and allowed sleep to claim her after what felt like the longest day of her life.
Battousai held her closer as he felt her surrender to her dreams, pleased that she was comfortable. Sudden pain shot through his ribs, which he'd effectively ignored, and he closed his eyes, willing himself to join his lover in sleep, if only to give his body time to heal itself. He marveled at how good it felt to fall asleep with this woman in his arms and promised himself that he would always know that feeling.
A/N: What a sucky chapter ending. Oh well! I considered ending it here for a minute, actually, but I have a bit more that I planned out, and if I planned it, well then I'll be damned if I don't use that effort. Wow. I just read over my plot that I still want to work, and I just realized that it's going to be a while before this is finished. Cool... I keep forgetting I have that much material. Good times. Anyhow, there was something I wanted to mention, but I forgot what it was, so I guess it wasn't important... I feel very accomplished tonight. At 4 AM I finished this, and I just so happened to finish new chapters for three stories tonight. Go me. Now that I've bolstered my self-esteem... Hey, I have to do it sometime! Aside from my wonderful reviewers, I'm the only one who praises me (which is why I love you guys). My family couldn't care less... Yeah, anyway... I have nothing else important to say, besides that "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger is stuck in my head and that song is and always has been kick ass. Ja ne!