Author's note: (The first three lines are from Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet")

Yo yo! Thanks for your reviews, you guys are so awesome! Please keep reading, I think you'll enjoy it! Tee hee

Never Been Pregnant ...............................................................................Total Vaughn Lover

Chapter 3

"Almost as embarrassing as getting hit in the head with a condom!!! (ya'll know what I'm talking about!!!)

"...Oh, me thinks I see my cousin's ghost, seeking out Romeo that did split his body upon a rapier's point—Stay Tybalt Stay! Romeo! Romeo! Romeo! I drink to thee..."

There was a pause and then the rest of the college class began shuffling books, checking the time and groaning loudly about where they'd rather be or what they should or shouldn't have had for breakfast.

"Um...guys," Sam called from the ground level. He was leaned against his desk with one hip sitting down. He looked very professional in his crisp white shirt with a triangle of his white t-shirt peeking about from underneath, and his Josie-ironed slacks looked crisp in their khaki shade. His arms were folded, his bicep huge and definite under the thin white shirt and his mouth was spread in a cocky grin. "You've got..." he paused to look at his clock, "ten minutes and forty-five seconds left. So...you might as well stop shuffling around because I will keep you here till I get through everything I have planned to say." His gaze said, "and you know I will."

The class began huffing and puffing. Sam was sure he heard a few unsaid curse words in the mix but he didn't think anything of it. He just sat there with a smile on his face as his students reluctantly pulled back out their textbooks and slumped in their seats. Sam looking very satisfied picked up his book to find his train of thought then laid it face down on his lap.

"Very good reading, Ms. Elderson," Sam began, picking up right where he'd left off. "I like how you read that, a lot of passion."

The nerdiest girl with deep brown hair that really had no sense of style stood up shyly. She had on a bright pink t-shirt and a pair of faded jeans, her knuckles were white because she was clutching the book so hard. The rest of the class looked on, making disgusted faces and rolled their eyes in disdain.

But Sam gave her a reassuring smile just like when he's first met Josie and he'd proclaimed that he'd taken a liking to the new student after she'd perfectly given the meaning for "pastoral," including the Latin root.

He then launched into the college institutions' shortest lecture which he was making up as he went along. The truth was, he could care less whether his class wanted to stay the last five minutes or not. He'd really not been all there in the classroom all day so he really had not right to say anything to the one who had been day dreaming or zoning out during his hour long lesson. It was just amusing to see how many students actually adhered to his "threats." He'd been teaching the class for almost one year and not once did a student leave his class. And with his luck, the classes had consisted of athletes who couldn't fail if they wanted to make it to the games or girls who gave him looks of affection and claimed he was very sexy when he became irritated.

And this was certainly off the subject but even Josie obeyed his every plea, especially when her asked her not to leave the room or get in the shower with him.

But that made him wonder it was because his stare was intimidating or if he just had eyes that looked attractive to the opposite sex.

"Another example,"white snow upon a raven's back," two completely opposite ideas, once again, good and evil," Sam pronounced, scrawling "white snow upon a raven's back," onto his growing list of examples on the whiteboard. He then glanced down at his watch. He grinned, he didn't want to gloat but he had a gift for B.S and he knew it. Of course he loved literature and had been on top of things in his own college classes, but he'd also gone to some wild parties and he'd procrastinated on one or two term papers. He'd had no other choice but to turn in a four page report and make it sound like he'd retained the text his paper was supposed to be about in his hangover state.

He finally turned back to them as he capped his black magical marker. "Well...that's all I've got to say about that," he concluded and headed over to his desk. "Your homework, should you choose to be wise and do it is to read the next scene and...rewrite it...as though you were a Frenchman and the story took place in Paris as opposed to Verona. All formats for a standard paper apply. I'm not going to give you a limit since I want you to really have fun with this but, I am going to set with you with a minimum of three pages."

He heard an audible, "oh man!" from his most obnoxious student, the QB of the campus football team, Jorge Lechtworth. Sam gave him a sympathetic glance. "Sorry Mr. Lechtworth but I don't think it's possible to rewrite ten pages of dialogue into one measly paragraph."

"Aw man, I know you're cool. It's not your fault you're required to assign a certain number of these freaking reports," the QB boomed, the edge of his lips were laced with anger. But then he lowered his voice to a pleading tone as he said, "but you will give me a few days to get it in, wouldn't you?"

Other athletic jocks, most wearing letter jackets also looked at their most leanient, sport-favoring professor with puppy dog eyes.

"Um...actually guys, this one is cutting it close to midterm so I'm going to need this one on time," Sam lamented, looking and feeling just as disappointed as they were. "But if this alleviates the situation at all, I will accept papers on the Romanticist's Romeo and Juliet till the day before I have to give reports out on your final grade. And for the athletes who make it to the football championships, you have till the first day you're scheduled back. That means about two weeks before the Fall term ends. I think that's pretty generous, don't you guys?"

The athletes mustered a feasible nod, which was more than nothing, especially since college jocks hated the whole concept of homework, shoot, half of them had thought receiving a four-year scholarship meant an immediate degree as well as four years of a promised sports career.

"And I only used five minutes of your time so you are free to use the last five to work on your assignment," Sam suggested as he went around his desk and settled won in the chair.

"Oh, I can't get anything finished in five minutes," a young lady with dark hair and gothic makeup sniveled, glaring at Sam with almost gaunt eyes as she pulled her notebook splashed with Marilyn Manson back into her bag, just daring Sam to say something.

"Actually, if you actually read the assignment, you'd know what you would want to write and if you really just concentrated for five minutes on the topic, I'm betting you all can whip out a first page, at least a rough draft. I already know you have the capability, heck, you've made it this far," Sam reasoned, trying to his class piped up. He had a no-tolerance policy for negativity.

The response he received was far from positive.

"Mr. Coulson, no offense but you must be drunk or something because you know I can't even get an introduction without brainstorming!" the brightest student exclaimed, her voice getting almost panicky.

Well that's what happened to students who were brought up in Ivy League level private schools. Sam had to bite his lip to keep from saying what he wanted to say about her over-exerting herself.

"Yeah, I think I should just pack it in and do it tonight," another fairly friendly but quiet twenty year old guy said as he followed goth girl's actions.

"Suit yourself," Sam thought to himself with half a grin. The good news was that the raid that was supposed to happen that evening wouldn't be including his students since they would be stuck in their dorm rooms, assuming they actually did their homework. "But I don't want any talking. I'm going to be working on my stuff and I am as important as any one of you. Please give me the respect and be quiet so I can work on my novel. I have a crap load of tests to correct not to mention my wife ..."

"Is pregnant!' the rest of the class finished for him. Sam turned a brilliant shade of scarlet but then anybody being glared at by a hundred and twenty students would. Guess he had mentioned that already, but he couldn't help it that he was a father full of pride. He leaned over to grab a thick blue notebook and laid it on his desk. He then pulled out the cloth book mark and opened it to a half-filled page, the margins filled with crazy doodles. He'd been having writer's block for some days now but he finally felt he was ready to write.

His novel was about a woman seen through the eyes of a man who was completely and devoted to who he finally believed was his soulmate and what would be more perfect than watching the love of his life go through the pain, joy, worry and hope of a pregnancy? He uncapped his pen, placed the notebook against his raised knee and began gliding his pen across the white lined plane.

"I awake to the sound of pitter patter feet and the soft calling of, "Daddy! Daddy! Wake up! You told me you're take me to the park!" he wrote, grinning as he did. "Only I didn't feel like getting out of bed But as soon as the cries become insistent I feel a pinch on my cheek. "Okay, okay," I find myself groaning. The only reason I force myself from a restless sleep is because I know my child would reward me with a smile and make me the center of her world for at least one more day. But then I finally open my green eyes, and I find my room to be dark, empty and too quiet for my taste."

Suddenly the thought of the students and the handsome teacher absorbed in his writing was interrupted by the sound of a cell phone ringing.

"I swear," Sam waited about ten seconds before he put down his pen and decided to comment on it.

"Okay, who is the irresponsible student who forgot to put their cell phone on vibrate" Sam demanded, leaning back in his cushioned chair.

No one made a peep. They just glanced at each other after checking their cell phones to make sure they weren't the culprit.

"Okay, who is the owner of this, "I swear," song? If you don't come forth now, you'll be spending tonight with a chaperone making sure you do your homework for once," Sam boomed, actually becoming a bit upset.

Still no answer.

"All right. The whole class will write me an extensive report on why we don't allow cell phones to ring in the classroom and how it disturbs our learning environment," Sam ordered which upset his students. They were all glaring at him again. But Sam shrugged it off. Hmph! They would learn not to disobey him. He returned to his novel only to be interrupted by a brave rebel of a student who stated, "we've already checked out cell phones, none of them are ringing. Maybe you should check yours."

Gasps erupted through the classroom. They all looked as though they were anticipating Mt. Coulson to erupt. The student still wore that intimidating expression but her folded arms looked like they were rubbing against each other because the owner of them was uncomfortable. She was obviously no match for Sam's daunting presence. Sam was like a quiet friendly person who unleashed so much fury that everyone knew not to make him angry.

"Sure, why not?" Sam boasted, meeting the challenge. He pulled out his cell phone from its' leather holder that was attached to his black briefcase. He flashed a smart ass expression as he showed the cell phone to his class. He practically wanted to shove it into the face of the student who'd had the nerve to try and embarrass him in front of his class.

Only his phone started vibrating in his hand and the ring tone was a beeping melodic version of "I swear," that sounded distinctly like the harp selection on a digital keyboard.

Wait a minute? Hadn't he set his phone for a Jamaican beat, something a bit more in the reggae channel? So why was his phone playing a very recent pop song? He cleared his throat and pulled up his cell phone.

Josie was calling him.

Josie! That's who must have set the ring tone. He suddenly remembered that one day he had allowed her to mess with it. She must have done it then! He turned his back to the class and click the answer button. "Josie?"

"Hey Sam!" she sang from the other end, very giddy. But Sam noticed that as giddy as his wife was, she was overdoing it.

"Honey, are you okay? I thought you were going into a meeting with Rigfort at nine?"

It was currently nine-thirty.

"Well actually...I found out already."

"Found out what?" Sam asked gently, wishing the bounciness would leave her voice, at least.

"T....that, oh god, Sam! My prayers have been answered. An year after my exclusive nightmare and I'm getting my next BIG JOB!"

Sam almost toppled backwards from the weight of his heart that had suddenly filled with pride. "An exclusive? That's great sweetie! Things are just really turning up for you, aren't they?"

Josie's reply was in the form of a giggle mixed with some equally loud sobbing.

"So, what's your undercover project now?" he injected into a giggle-free moment.

"Actually, that I haven't heard, we're about to go into the meeting to discuss the details," his wife answered in a more stable tone. "But Anita says that the job's been floating around for weeks and everyone known about it and has been waiting to see who would get it. And...looks like, I got that job!:"

Sam smiled broadly. Wow, a major exclusive all of Chicago Sun Times' reporters wanted. If there was anyone who deserved that chance, it was Josie. He was her husband, but for the three weeks of spring quarter, he'd had the opportunity to observe her work and talent as a teacher.

To borrow Guy's word, she was going to be ruffus!

"That's great, Mrs. Coulson. Now remember, just know that you belong with me for life no matter how bright your star shines, or how many Shakespearean reads try to woo your heart," he reminded her, only half-joking.

"Oh Sam! Don't you know that you are the only man I want, that my heart belongs only to you?" she assured him defiantly, then in a very sweet and innocent tone she added, "you're my adele penguin, remember?"

All of the slight worries that had surfaced in Sam's delicate heart disintegrated at the utter of those words. "Yeah, I'll never forget it."

He could just see Josie smiling right now. But then she cleared her throat and Sam knew that was probably a sigh she was going to apologize she had to go. "Okay Sam, I just about have to go, but before I do that...I need you to let me talk to Dr. Coulson for a second."

Sam grinned as he sat down on the edge of his seat, oblivious to the chattering going on that was all about teasing their very handsome English professor who turned into mush every time he go the chance to play the role of Josie's husband.

"This is he."

"Okay, um, Dr. Coulson, yesterday was really great but my stomach is still cramping up and I think my lack of morning sickness made it worse."

"Really? Well I'm sorry to hear that. Perhaps I underestimated your problem. Mind you, I didn't want to put a pregnant woman through too much pain but obviously I wasn't aggressive enough," he said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Oh well, not a problem. I guess I'll just have to try a more invasive procedure and maybe I'll prescribe a stronger prescription for you."

"Oo, I don't know if I like the sound of that. I'll have to run it by my hubby," he heard Joss whimper, she actually sounded scared.

"Well Sam totally agrees with Dr. Coulson with good reason, and so I've booked you for tonight, at around ten, sound good?" he inquired.

"Yeah... okay."

"Great," he cheered then he turned back to husband mode. "So, Josie, when should I expect you home tonight?"

"Depending on whether I need to do additional research on top of the two articles I have to edit for tonight's paper, no later than six," she informed him. "So I guess I'll try and make dinner by seven. Leave some beef out for me, will you honey?"

"It's a date," he agreed, smiling from ear to ear. "Love you."

"Love you too," Josie replied back, but it never got old for him. Josie had a way of making it sound like she meant it everyday. "Bye hun" And finally he clicked off and shoved his cell back into its' pocket. He looked up and was shocked that his students were still at their desks. He glanced at his watch, class had been over for five minutes. "Um guys, what are you still doing here?"

"Witnessing your transformation from Prof Coulson to pussy-whipped Mr. Coulson... to, dare we say it, naughty Dr. Coulson," one of the prettier girls in class giggled as they got to their feet, all three held fluffy pink binder and strapped on their bright shoulder bags.

"Naughty Dr. Coulson? What are you trying to say?' Sam demanded abashed that his conversation could be taken that way. "And why were you eavesdropping."

"You're the one speaking loud enough so the class could hear," snickered a young woman Sam had assigned a tutor session to after overhearing her converse with her boyfriend during his lesson in an earlier class. "Oh, tell you wife good luck on her exclusive, and congrats on your baby."

"Oh, thanks," he stammered shyly, staring at the ground as he turned red. He saw no one had moved from their seat. "Okay class, this conversation is over, now get out so I can go on my break," he urged them and the class started moving, doing a lot of snickering as they did. "oh and your papers, don't forget to do your papers!" he hollered until the class was empty. He then tidied up his desk, picked up a few scattered pieces of garbage as he bounded up the stairs then locked the door to his classroom before he went to the teacher's lounge to take a twenty minute, hiatus, just enough time to recompose himself for his next lesson.

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"Miller David Coulson?" twenty-eight year old Danny Larkin inquired with a raised eyebrow before he laid back in his seat to take a sip of his coffee. "Angela Juliet Coulson I can understand since all their father know their daughters are going to be angels and Juliet is just fitting because you're like a Shakespearean major. But what is Miller David about? Didn't you want to give your boy a spankin Shakespearean name too? Or at least a strong name. You can always call him junior if you couldn't come up with something good, Sam. That name has sure worked for you these last twenty seven years."

Sam rolled his eyes as he listened to the words coming out of the college's Dental Professor. He'd actually wanted to tell his colleague and also good friend his good news and naturally that had led to revealing some possible names, but he hadn't expected any negative feedback.

"I'm sorry you don't like it but I wasn't asking for your input anyway," Sam retorted, a bit irritated. "Josie and I agreed on the name so Miller David Coulson it is."

This comment was followed by Dr. Larkin's chuckling. Sam raised an eyebrow at the young man teaching dental assistants how to be dental assistants, wondering what was funny about what he'd said.

"Man Sam, I was just messing with you! It's your kid after all, if that's the name you want to give him, by all means, I'm certainly not going to stop you," the blond, equally good-looking guy laughed as he rubbed the side of his blue scrub pants.

Sam gave him a look as though he were dense. "Well your humor is so dry that I couldn't tell."

"Hey, I'm funny!" the young dentist cried out, looking very offended, while if it was a patient he would apologize for being scary.

Sam laid back in his seat and stuck his nose in a parody of Hamlet. He never particularly liked when people thought they had the right to bad mouth the most talented playwright in all the world but he knew that literary work was able to be read many different ways and perceived by many different meanings. "You just keep telling yourself that." He went back to his reading but he could see how offended Larkin was, using his peripheral vision. He was very amused and put a book mark into his book and set it aside. "Now, you know I'm kidding, right?"

"Actually, no. Man, you've got as dry a sense of humor as I do, you can't talk!" his colleague sneered as he grabbed a delicious looking cruller.

Sam didn't look at him at him or give him a reaction. Gosh, things were going to well for his wife but all of his students and colleagues seemed out to get him. Instead he decided to try another verbal jab to make up for the last one that turned out lame. "Dr. Larkin, you do know that doughnuts are bad for your teeth, especially a cruller that's like 99 sugar," Sam chided him as he picked out a less sugary cake doughnut. "You'll end up drilling your own teeth."

"Hey, I got attacked by my female students this morning. We were doing root canals and they all got squirmy and started grabbing me," he retorted as he took a humungous bit from the shiny doughnut. "They got all mad saying that I should be nicer, that couldn't I make an exception and not scrub the inside so hard. We had quite a few kids today and I think they were under the impression that the procedures we do on a child is completely different from the ones we do on an adult when then difference is really the happy background, some of the numbing procedures and our level of patience."

Sam just laughed and was thankful for once that he hadn't listened to his mother and become a doctor. Though he sort of wished he were an obstrecian so he could completely have control over what would happen to Josie till the way he welcomed his child into the world.

"Well I guess if I was bombarded by a bunch of squeamish girls being condescending while I was trying to work as quickly and as efficiently as possible, I might very well need a doughnut," Sam teased as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt, untucking it and tucking it back in, in his other hand he held the doughnut sandwiched between a napkin.

"Believe me, with the way they were treating me, it's either satisfying my sweet tooth or sending my assistants out crying and then I'd be forced to comfort them after probably coaxing the kid that I wasn't trying to hurt him."

Sam nodded as though he understood. Yup, he was glad that the career choice he'd made was not in dentistry. There was times when he could be stern as a literary teacher but not enough to make a student cry.

But they drama was pretty much the same for both situations.

"Well Danny, I think something is going around to get us young guy teachers because I'm having the same issues today," the ruggedly handsome Yale graduate said with a sigh that perked the interest of the troubled-looking dentist.

"Really, do tell."

Sam took a scrumptious nibble of his doughnut then went through his anal jock's complaining, the episode with his student griping about the new assignment he'd give them then finally, how he'd scolded his class and threatened to make them write a detailed report when nobody would stand up to take the blame for the cell phone that hand rung in the last five minutes of class. And then how it had back fired on him since it turned out that it was his cell phone that had gone off.

Dr. Larkin looked at Sam with tears in his eyes. "Man, Sam, you're just having a great day, aren't you?"

"Tell me about it," Sam agreed, grimacing as he did.

Danny held a beautiful sugar-glazed doughnut in front of Sam's face with a sympathetic glance. Sam eyed it, wondering if that would be a good idea. He'd been pretty careful since he'd like his ability to not get flabby even if he didn't work out. But then again, it was hockey season and the way his opponents played in the past he knew it was going to be a work out right there. He took the cruller from the dentist and hounded it down while Danny said, "good man."

They talked for a few more minutes about their classes and mainly how they would get back to their female students who were currently trying to humiliate the gentle, kind, good looking male teachers. It would only be a lot more interesting if Sam's eyes didn't keep darting away to the clock or the cell phone in his pocket.

"Well, you're obviously anxious about something," Danny probed as he leaned back and crossed his feet over his other knee.

Sam looked up, looking startled. "Oh sorry, it' just you know Josie's pregnant and that's a big change already, and now she's got this whole exclusive thing, you know, I know how my wife is. She's gives everything she does her 100, only she doesn't seem to get that doing that for five separate situations means that she has to work really hard. Really hard an din her delicate state, she doesn't have a good enough reason to anything hard."

"Sam," Danny said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "you said that your wife was how many weeks along?"

"Three," Sam beamed, looking very proud.

"Yeah, three, and it doesn't take a brain surgeon to tell you that she's way too early to miscarriage. I bet you can't even see her tummy yet," Danny told him and Sam looked a bit sheepish. "Which means that you are worrying way too early."

"Hey! I may not be able to see her yet but I know he/she is in there. It's amazing, fatherhood," Sam sighed, a dreamy glazed look came over his expression. "You don't even have to hear their little voice or hold him or her in your arms, you just know that you love them the move it's confirmed that they've been conceived."

"I, sounds amazing. Course I wouldn't know since I'm just a single man," Danny commented with a shrug.

"You're engaged."

"Yeah, but that's not quite the same thing," Danny reminded him, looking just a tad bit jealous. "But really, congratulations, I look forward to seeing that face of fatherly pride for years to come."

"Thanks Dan, thanks a lot," Sam said as he stood up to shake his buddy's hand. He nodded as he picked up his lesson planner.

"You know you're really got to take care of her now, I mean, I know you already do, you're probably the most devoted husband in all of Chicago but now you have to make sure you health is in even better shape."

Sam rolled his eyes, that was obvious.

"Which means she needs to be eating right and stuff. Like you said, she shouldn't over exert herself, and she shouldn't have any sort of infection in her body, so this is what I recommend you do," Danny boomed, rubbing his chin with one hand and slapping his planner against his thigh, actually looking like he knew what he was talking about and excited about it.

"Yeah, I knew that too. So what do you suggest I do?" Sam said with the most respect he could muster. Which was very difficult since he'd taken the always hyper young dentist very seriously.

"Well, you did say that she's got an exclusive coming up so she's pretty much got her work cut out for her. Why don't you do something for her like cook her dinner, that way you can cook for her and make sure she's getting healthy cuisine at the same time."

Sam was so ready for a lay off that he didn't attach the meaning to the words until he ran them through his head a second time. And surprise, what he said not only made sense but actually sounded like a good idea.

"You know what, that sounds like a really good idea. I've been thinking of a way to show her how proud I am of her for sticking with it. It's been an year since she's gotten credit for what did for the Chicago Sun Times with her latest article. Only I'm going to have to cook her something extra special," Sam ranted, half-talking to himself.

"Oh yeah, since you normally cook for her anyway, right?" Danny pointed out and felt himself just get a bit infuriated with him because he was so god damn happy.

"Only if she'll let me. Usually I end up cooking beside her, which is fun. I just like being around her, but that means I'm going to have to plan a meal then go to the store to pick up the stuff then make it home before she does, which shouldn't be a problem." Finally Sam stopped talking to himself and glanced at his watch. Then he decided to make himself a note.

Plan dinner during 5th period test!

Run over to the store by 4:30 p.m

"Okay, well my class is starting in eight minutes. I should really head over to it," Sam said as he stretched into the air. "And I suppose what you meant by infection is that she should be thoroughly checked out."

"Yeah, pretty much," the kind dentist said ,no longer taunting or a slapstick to relieve tension.

"And since the hospital's covering her pregnancy and internal organs I suppose you're going to offer to take care of her perfect teeth?"

"Yeah and because I want to keep being your friend and because I want to show you that I do care about the well being of my patients psychologically as well as physically," Danny admitted, showing just a bit of his soft side, "I'm going to perform the most kindest root canal or extraction or whatever I have to do if it comes down to it."

"Great," Sam cheered as he headed to the door and pointed a finger in his direction. "I'll talk to Josie and get back with you to schedule that, but only if you'll be using a very capable assistant."

"Now would I do that to you?" Danny retorted, looking slightly amused.

To this Sam gave him a glance that gave Danny the urge to sock him in the face. "I don't know Dan, would you?"

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Yay! Another chapter where good o'l Sam is sheepish and embarassed. Honestly Michael Vartan looks the best when he's tense, pissed or just plain sheepish!

Thanks for your reviews guys and please keep reading! And let's just say...enjoy the fluff, while you can!

Toodles,

Total Vaughn Lover