Rating: R

For: language, sexuality, cross-dressing, etc. I've been over this.

Pairings: 1X2, 3X4, OCXOC (which no one really cares about. It just adds to the plot)

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in forever. I've had all kinds of craaaaazay stuff to do. Anyway, this chapter was kinda fun to write, and I hope you enjoy it. The title is a song that I want to say was by Dashboard Confessional, but I actually don't know. Anyone who knows and could send me the correct artist, you'd be much appreciated (and conceivably glomped.) Moving on, R&R if you so desire.

Chapter Ten- It's Tough To Have a Crush

When the colors were gone, the joy went with them. After Kolya was placed into government-housing (read: shithole) things were calmer. At the same time, there was a thick, heavy tension that hung over them. Lela had begun to know, slowly, why Duo had gotten rid of those pictures. He didn't want them there because the joy was leaving his life. Heero began to work more and more, and show up at home less and less. Duo would disappear before work started and return the next morning in the same clothes with a massive hangover and no cover story. No one ever bothered to ask for it. Lela was beginning to feel like a mother of three, handing Duo aspirin and water, and keeping Heero fed and at least partially rested. She visited Kolya often during the day while Duo slept, riding the subway up until right before Crystal City and following her senses blindly into a Slavic quarter past Crumley Boulevard. Sometimes, she took Julian; other times, she satiated Trowa's lust for a child, and dropped him off at their penthouse (after a glass or two of Quatre's new vintage and some small talk.) Then, she'd head to Kolya's, sometimes stopping for empanadas and bringing them to the Spartan apartment. They sat on the floor and chatted in idle Russian.

"So, why did Duo get rid of the art?"

"I don't know," Lela answered, wiping a smear of strawberry goop of off her cheek and sucking it off her finger. "He seemed really upset, and didn't wake up till late the next day. I'm worried about him."

"He acted like such a nice guy."

"He is a nice guy. That's not the point, here. There's something wrong with him, but I don't know what. I really want to help him."

"Well, there's only so much you can do if he won't talk to you about it."

"I know," she replied, sighing into her empanada. It was her favorite flavor, strawberry and cream cheese, but she couldn't really get into it. She was worried about Duo and Heero and what would happen when she came back.

Heero turned the key in the lock on the door of his apartment. Before he'd even finished, the doorknob twisted beneath it, and the door swung open. Standing before him was Duo, his braid loose and messy. Heero smiled at him, taking in the wife beater and loose cotton shorts that he'd slung around his hips. Suddenly, he felt his pelvis drawn forward, and his lips were pressed against a hot, warm mouth that began to massage them. Duo's two fingers were hooked in the waistband of his jeans, and their groins were pressed tightly against each other. When the braided man withdrew from the other astonished one, he grinned, and backed up, pulling Heero with him.

"Lela and Julian are at Kolya's." His voice was ragged and heated as he spoke. "I want you, Heero. I want you," He leaned in close now, slipping one hand around Heero's slim hips and leaning his tongue into the crook of Heero's neck before speaking again, "inside me."

Heero felt the return of that erotic whip, snapping with a heated electricity across his spine as Duo threw himself upon his mercy. His hands slid to the other boy's waist, fingers slowly gliding up the sides and underneath the hem of the undershirt. Duo disentangled himself from Heero and whipped the pesky cotton off his body with such intensity that it caused him to stop and take a breath. Heero could only watch him, the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he panted. His eyes greedily took in the lithe form before him, light pink nipples punctuating the hairless chest and slipping down into the delicate lines of muscles before tapering into a bellybutton and the waistband of those infernal orange shorts. Then, he grabbed Heero by the shirt and pulled their lips back together into a deep, intense kiss. Raw passion swirled around them as Duo's hands went free and roaming.

"Lela?"

"Yes?" she answered. Kolya couldn't help but stare back at her, even for just a moment. She was truly gorgeous, with long, thick raven hair, and glistening green eyes. He knew he was a couple of years older than her, and had probably seen more of the horrible aspects of the world than she had. But, that wasn't what really struck him about her. What struck him was her kindness, understanding, and her willingness to help someone as stubborn as Duo. He wondered if he could elicit the same kind of affection from her. As he leaned his hips closer, he realized that wasn't what he wanted at all. He wanted more than she would give Duo, more physical; more love, more everything, than Duo would ever get out of Lela.

"You're beautiful." A light pink blush rose to her cheeks, and she tried to hide it with a bite of empanada. That also gave her time to stall while she thought of something to say. Her mind wasn't quite to the point of racing yet; at the moment, it was a steady undercurrent of her standard worries integrated with the bits and pieces of what Kolya was speaking about, and how fucking good that empanada was. She needed to learn how to make those. Okay, focus time. It seemed like Kolya was hitting on her. After all, she'd known him a little over a month. Her eyes scanned him without his knowledge; secretly glancing at people was a skill she had mastered. He couldn't have been much over twenty, and had a look that was atypical for a Russian. His hair was thick and blond, and fringed around his eyes, typically masking their electric blue shade. They didn't have the intensity of Heero's; they were more jovial usually, laughing at a joke that no one else understood. In the middle of the iris, running around a track, was a neon silver streak through them. Within the streak, she could see the grand race of the id, ego, and superego, all competing and vying for first place over his mind. His mind was always a race, a game, a continuous competition to win out over all. When she was looking at him, she could never tell who was winning.

"Thank you," her soft voice whispered, quickly glancing down. He didn't want her looking down. He wanted to see her, see her eyes looking back into his and saying the things he wanted to hear without ever speaking. He couldn't stop himself from inching closer to her, until he felt her warmth seeping into his leg through the khakis on his thigh. He wanted to draw back then; he was scared, terrified that she wouldn't speak to him anymore. But he didn't pull away. He couldn't stop himself, didn't want to stop himself. He wanted this closeness, wanted there to be no gap between them. He reached up with his pale hand, the fingers and palm red and rough. When Lela felt his touch, her head snapped back, pulling her cheek free. Kolya felt a blush rising, his cheeks burning. He leaned away quickly, barely breathing as he realized his failure to get her near him. Gently, Lela set down her strawberry joy on a napkin near her feet, then adjusted her hips on the thin carpeting was spread over the floor. She wasn't sure what she was doing then, couldn't tell if she was trying to pull herself closer to him out of loneliness, lust, sympathy... she wasn't sure of anything except that she was moving and she was touching his leg, was pulling his hand between hers. She had taken his hand between to of hers. He looked up at her, and she saw the childishness, the juvenility of the situation inside his mind.

"Lela..." He spoke softly, as though her feared what she might say.

"Your hands are cold," she replied, her voice warm and welcoming. She rubbed her fingers over his, warming the rough skin against her own smoothness. Slowly, he raised his other hand, and she took that one too, massaging him gently. She smiled at him, and he couldn't help but smile back.

Duo could feel the hard pressure of the wall, digging into the flesh of his back as Heero pushed him up against it. He felt the hot, slick tongue inside his mouth, moving free of any moral or physical restraint. He breathed in deep through his nostrils, and the hard, masculine sweetness of Heero greeted him. He moaned softly into the other boy's open mouth. God, he'd missed this. It'd been so long since they, the two of them, had done anything like this. Duo had had it, of course, but it wasn't the same. The anonymity of a partner at work or at a club didn't have the same passion, raw need, as it did with Heero. Nothing beat the heat that passed between them, bare chests together, fingers fumbling to touch each other and work off the bottom clothing that was deeply in their way. He couldn't describe what he felt, only knowing that he wanted more, thrusting his tongue in deeper, pulling himself in closer, feeling the fine sheen of sweat begin to pepper his skin. He knew Heero had the same feeling; they were almost equal in passion for each other, a phenomenon that neither of them had known for quite some time.

Suddenly, Heero pulled back, gasping for breath. His chest rose and fell with a rapidity that he had never known before, but wanted to feel again. This was better than the first time he and Duo had made love, better than anything he'd ever felt before, and yet, it lacked something. Heero didn't feel the same lust that he'd felt all those times before, that same anticipation of when it would happen again, and how much better it would be. These things had always compounded on themselves, up until that moment. But maybe, it was just him. Maybe they weren't in deep enough yet. Maybe, he hadn't given himself over yet. Duo's cobalt eyes were staring back at him, lost in this foreign expression of confusion. He didn't want to lead Duo on under the guise of sex, not this time, not after he'd done it to him so many times. Besides, knowing Duo and his level of expertise, this shit could only get better.

"Bedroom," he breathed, his voice thick and husky, as he pushed on the waistband of Duo's shorts. Duo began to wriggle out of them as Heero added, "Now."

Kolya didn't know what was going on. He had a feeling he had been rejected. He got that distinct impression from his actions and her responses. He was certain that he was not going to recover from this, that she was going to leave and not come back to visit him again. He had known this inside his head; the information was cemented in there, for certain.

Yet, Lela was holding both of his hand between hers, warming them with a gentle friction. Which, in turn, made him think otherwise

Inside his head, he could think of all sorts of witty things to say, things like 'my mouth needs warming up too,' and 'you've got some talented hands.' But those were not things that he deemed worthy for saying to Lela. What he really wanted to do was run his fingers through her hair and tell her that he loved her, and kiss her cheeks and her collarbone and her ears, and give only her pleasure. He didn't want to think about himself, what would happen to his own body because of her and her love, or even just lustful sympathy in return. He just wanted her pleasure to be because of him, wanted her to be happy and feel alive because of him and his touch. But he didn't see that happening, and that filled him with a kind of sadness he had never known before. He remembered his old lover, Lamina. She had been lusty and profane and self-occupied, but by far the best sex that he, or most other people, could've gotten on that side of the country. But Lela was different. Lela didn't constitute her life solely of sex; the feeling of being with someone else, their two bodies together, didn't overpower her life. For that reason, he could only bring himself to move in slow increments.

He pulled his hand free of hers, feeling the absence of her warmth against his fingers almost instantly. He reached up again, this time tucking his hand along the side of her neck, letting his fingers curl around her hair and ear. He leaned in near her, so close that their noses nearly touched. Lela's breath caught in her throat as she was met with the full intensity of Kolya's eyes. His lips barely parted as he spoke.

"Ya tebya lyublyu."

Lela understood every word that he said. She knew exactly where this was going, what was coming, what was going to happen to her.

Yet, it still caught her by surprise, taking her breath away when he kissed her.

Heero pulled back from another kiss atop his lover. Duo was panting heavily, wishing for Heero to stop his teasing and go for it already. He didn't want to wait any longer; he'd been waiting for so long already. He couldn't take it anymore. He whimpered to the other boy, who plainly ignored him. Heero smiled down on Duo, his blue eyes filled with this coy mystery, one that Duo didn't see very often. That was his signal that the best sex of his life was about to come, and he braced himself for it. He heard Heero's voice come to his ears again, not anticipating the breathy words that would emerge.

"Are you ready for this, hure?"

Duo barely managed to nod his head before it began.

Lela felt Kolya's lips against hers. She felt the warmth, rushing into her body; it'd been so long since she'd been kissed, really kissed, even by a kid like this. She could feel herself reciprocating, kissing him back like it was going out of style. She was hungry, and needed him to feed her.

But that stopped when the phone rang.

Kolya ignored it, sliding his hand over the curvature of her shoulder, but Lela knew that there were a limited number of people who knew this number. "We should answer that," she said into his mouth.

"Let it ring," he mumbled back, his lips against hers.

"What if it's Une?"

Kolya pulled back and Lela rose to her feet. She grabbed the white receiver off of one of the cardboard boxes that served as a table. "Hello?"

"Lela?"

"Trowa? What's going on?"

"Something's... Something's wrong with Julian."

Lela's heart fell through her chest like a solid stone weight. "What?"

"I don't know what happened. I looked away for a minute, and he was... god, I don't even know what he was doing. I called the paramedics, and they're on the way."

"What?"

"Lela, you need to help Julian. You need to get down to the hospital."

"Which one?"

"Parkroad Memorial. Hurry, please."

Lela slammed the phone down. Kolya looked up at him, confusion miring his eyes. The conversation had been in English, but he could still sense her tone, her emotions as she spoke.

"What happened?"

Lela wouldn't meet his eyes.

Three screams pierced the evening sky at the exact same moment, terrifying anyone who managed to hear all three (though no one did): the moan of Duo's climax, the wail of Lela's lament, and the screech of ambulance sirens, rushing towards Trowa's apartment.