A/N: hey guys! The fab five are back !! Let's see how Inuyasha does, hmm? Major thank you to Tsu-Chan for reviewing and for giving that name!!!!!! bless you woman!!!

Disclaimer: i didn't do this last chapter....whoops! well, as no lawyers have contacted me yet....maybe I can get away with claiming inuyasha for my own? no? darn............

CHAPTER TWO:

Carson continued, oblivious to the terrified hanyou standing near him. "But before the introductions can continue, we must know- who are you?"

"I'm Inuyasha. This is Kagome. Don't touch her ."

"Oh, she's not the one we want to touch sweetie. And as for who we are individually:

I'm Carson! I'll be your fashion idol. We are going to remake you, clothing wise. and trust me, you need it." (this last part he added in a stage whisper. Inuyasha was not amused. However, judging by the ill contained snorts, Kagome was.) "The guy groping your head is Kyan. He's our grooming guru. He can works wonders! But I warn you- he hates long hair." Kyan looked up and waved a piece of silver hair around happily.

Noticing the apparent fascination Kyan had with his hair, Inuyasha quietly wondered to Kagome if Kyan was perhaps related to Yura of the hair.

"Inuyasha!" hissed Kagome, not pleased that Inuyasha compared sweet Kyan to the psychotic demoness.

Overhearing, Kyan asked, "Who's Yura?"

"A bitch" said Inuyasha succinctly.

"Oh no, then we can't be related. I'm never the bitch." Kyan reassured Inuyasha with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Inuyasha and Kagome sweatdropped at Kyan before turning back to Carson, Inuyasha mumbling about "too much information".

Carson hit Kyan playfully and pointed to the man in glasses. "The one who commented on your poor eating habits is Ted. Ted's the one who is going to teach you how to cook." At this, Kagome burst out laughing.

"Inuyasha can't cook! He burns water!" She giggled some more.

"Excuse me! Your man will need support on this journey he's taking! Laughing girlfriends are not welcome!" Carson said, looking slightly put out.

Kagome looked slightly pissed herself. "Listen buddy, as the girl who has to cook for him 3 times a day, I'm telling you-He Will Not Cook!"

"Well, he will at least once with us." Clearly dismissing Kagome, Carson continued the introductions. "The friendly short guy is Jai. He's our culture expert. He takes your man and makes him more civilized."

"Feh. Fuck being civilized." said Inuyasha.

*shocked silence*

"Ooooh, he's a dirty boy, isn't he?" said one of five.

"Mmm, yes he is! Regular freak!" came another ecstatic reply.

Inuyasha glared at them all. "I am not dirty. I bathe at least once a week. And I'm not a freak, you all are."

"Sit!"

"ARGH!!!!" Inuyasha met the concrete head on.

"Or he'll try to civilize him" Carson amended, crouching to look the flattened Inuyasha in the eyes. "We can only do our best." Jai had a determined, if daunted, face on. He resembled nothing so much as a soldier going into battle.

"Don't worry" Jai said, lifting his head proudly. "I've handled tougher cases then this...I think."

Ted sympathetically patted Jai on his back as Carson introduced the last man. "Lastly, we come to Thom. Thom will be redecorating your house. I have no doubt you have a as very sports oriented, dirty gym socks everywhere, hetero 'design' going on but don't worry- Thom will fix it." Carson said, pushing Thom forward.

"Hi!" said Thom. "So what type of place do you own?"

Inuayasha said, as if talking to particularly stupid child, "I don't own a house."

"Your apartment then"

Inuyasha shook his head.

"Your loft"

Head shakes from both Kagome and Inuyasha.

"A shack?" asked Thom, looking desperate.

Inuyasha smirked. "Not even a place under a bridge." The smirk grew wider. He was definitely enjoying the choking noise coming from Thom.

"Okay............hmm.......well, um, where do you keep the rest of your clothes?" asked Carson curiously. Inuyasha just stared at the blond man. Carson's eyes grew wide.

"No." said Carson, not willing to comprehend what Inuyasha's eyes were telling him.

"Yes" Inuyasha said. He was enjoying this even more then beating up Shippo!

"No......" Carson whispered unbelievingly. Inuyasha smirked and cocked an eyebrow. "No.....NONONONONO!!!!!!!" hissed Carson. "EVERYONE HAS MORE THEN A BATHROBE!!!!!"

Inuyasha just smirked more and leaned in for the killing blow. "And this is a hand-me-down from my father." he said with malicious delight.

Carson swayed, looking vaguely green. "Martini. Need. It. Now" he said, walking back to the SUV.

"I'm coming with you.....nothing?....how can I work with nothing?? Oh my god, I have to go house shopping? Shit!!!" Thom moaned.

The remaining three members of the fab five sighed.

"This is worse then that guy who owned nothing but jeans and tank tops with that horrible dyed hair." said Jai in a worried voice.

"Way worse" agreed Kyan. "I mean, if he doesn't own another change of clothes and he doesn't even a house, what are the chances that he'll have moisturizer?" Ted and Jai shook their heads; the odds were not good.

"What's moisturizer Kagome?" asked Inuyasha innocently.

"He also needs a serious pedicure and manicure." Ted noticed rather apologetically to Kyan.

Looking at Inuyasha's filthy feet and clawed hands, Kyan groaned in pain and turned to the car, yelling for a Johnny Walker on the rocks.

"Are you guys going to really make Inuyasha over?" asked Kagome. While it was hysterical, there was a distinct possibility that if they pissed him off badly, Inuyasha would kill the five gay Americans. Kagome was torn between wanting to see Inuyasha handling a stove and not being an accomplice to murder.

"You wait here." said Ted. The two men walked back to the car, leaving Kagome and Inuyasha outside.

````````````In the SUV````````````````

"No. We are getting back onto the plane and going back to the normal straight freaks of nature we always help. Have we ever helped homeless people before?" exclaimed Carson, in a bit of a snit.

"He's crazy. He doesn't own a place! I'm all for going home." said Thom, eyebrows up and hands surrendering.

"But don't you guys get it? Before we were just, y'know playing around...Now, we can really really make a difference." urged Jai. "This guy needs help, he needs guidance, he needs us! Come on. We will not just be changing his life, we'll be giving him a life!" Jai wheedled. He knew that they should help this guy, he knew that this white haired guy had potential.

"I'd just like to remind everyone that we've given people lives- does no one remember the toupee horror?" Kyan said, stung that no one remembered his moment of true glory.

"No, no, we all recall that. I see it in every nightmare I have, a brown furry monster that attacks my scalp." Ted said empathetically. All five shuddered in fear of the toupee.

Sulking in his seat, Carson admitted that this whole escapade had been his idea but "he had so obviously needed help!"

Kyan sighed. "He still does."

"So, we stay and do the right thing?" Ted asked.

Some grudgingly and some excited, the fab five agreed to reinvent Inuyasha into everything he could be.

````````````outside the car```````````````

"Well, if we're going to work with you, we'll need a base of operations." Thom announced.

Receiving a small nod from Kagome, Inuyasha offered up the shrine and gave directions.

"Wherever." Carson said dismissively. "Let's get to the important stuff- what's your bank account like? Big and pleasurable or small and unsatisfying?"

After Inuyasha gave Carson an uncomprehending glance, Kagome translated. "What money do you have?"

"Just this." Inuyasha pulled out a small leather pocket sack and poured into one hand a bunch of ancient Japanese currency. The coins glittered in the sun, golden and inviting. Raised eyebrows were the only outward reactions to the small fortune in the clawed hand. "Well, good. Because uncouth dirty guys with no clothing and no home we can handle. But no money? That's a no go." Carson smiled delightedly, Versace suits and Gucci accessories dancing around in his minds eye.

"So....where are you guys going to start?" Kagome asked tentatively.

"Clothing- he needs some. and that bathrobe has a date with lighter fluid and destiny. Ugh, how could you let him out of the house?"

"Housing- he needs a place to live! Most people consider shelter very important. We'll try to instill that in him. Y'know, to get out of the rain should have been an instinct but whatever, everyone has their quirks- he doesn't want to have a home."

"Manners...I don't really mean to be so blunt but....well, he doesn't have any. I think his whole outlook on himself and life would change if only he were more receptive to people..."

"Grooming. Where do you start? The manicure, the pedicure, the waxing of the eyebrows, the haircut, the basics in skin care? Oh god, we have so much to do! It's going to be a brutal regime of just conditioner, conditioner, and- oh my!- more conditioner. I mean, he needs it everywhere."

"Hygiene in eating. I think I'm going to split this with Jai. We just need to, get started and I think this'll be the least traumatizing. I mean, shopping with Carson or going with Kyan is an...experience. To say the least. "

came five replies all at the same time.

"I do not need that much help!!" shouted Inuyasha, infuriated.

Five sighs and five knowing shakes of heads. "Don't worry. When they all start off, they all think they have some sort of say in how they turn out or what they need to change. Fear not, we'll break him of that annoying little habit of self dependency soon enough." Thom said, reassuring Kagome.

"oh" said Kagome, at a loss of what to say after that.

"Okay gentleman!" Carson clapped his hands and shooed his teammates into the car. "We have a lot to do!" Turning to Kagome and Inuyasha, he shouted out the window, "You two! Move those sweet looking asses to that shrine! If we get there before you......!" He waggled his fingers in a suggestive farewell.

Inuyasha's eyes widened and he scooped up Kagome, Bouyo and all, and flat out sprinted to the shrine.

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well, there you go. I like advertisements, i find them helpful for finding new authors to read so I'll put one down here: the story I was so excited about I had to post plagiarism to find out the author's name: Time for a Change by SvF-Bd02-Wedge. Really good with several amazing twists. Poignant and funny, i recommend this story to everyone, even the most picky of literary snobs.