Chapter Twenty One: The Real Cid Highwind
Danielle: I want to sing too!
Shera: Cid, let's do one now! Please!
Cid: Fine... no more gay songs
Shera: Promise, this one is cool
Reno: Not another "Slim Shady" Parody? Sighs and hits the play button
Shera: May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Cid Highwind please stand up? sighs
Will the real Cid Highwind please stand up?
Cid: stands up, flips everyone off
Shera: to the rest of the people...We're going to have a problem here.
Cid: Shit, ya'll act like you ain't never seen a badass pilot before
Jaws drop on the floor
Like Cloud and Aeris just bust through the door
And started whoopin' his ass Points to Sephiroth Worse than before
With much more force
Throwin' him over furniture
Tifa: Ack!
Cid: I'm the baddest fucker
Yuffie: Uh, no way, are you kidding?
He didn't just say what I think he did,
Did he?
Cid: And Sephiroth says
Nothing, you dumbasses!
Sephiroth's dead!
He's locked in my airship!
Cloud: Ha ha!
Sephiroth: I am?
Cid: Those Shinra bitches luv da cap'n
Elena: Moogle!Moogle!Moogle!
Heidegger: Cid Highwind, I'm sick of him
Look at him
Flying around
Smoking his you-know-what
Flipping his you-know-who
Scarlet: Yeah, but he's so rugged though!
Cid: Yeah, I'm probably gonna die of cancer
But it's not like that's new
And it's no worse
Than what goes on in Tifa's bedroom!
Tifa: I'm so pretty...
Cid: Sometimes I wanna piss off Cloud
And let hell broke loose
And can't
But it's cool for Hojo
To prance around like a frickin' goose!
Hojo: BEG YOUR PARDON?
Cloud: His laugh is frickin' lame
And his clothes put me to shame
And if I'm lucky
I'll kill him by the end of this frickin' game
Red XIII: And this is the message
That we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to notice
All those thongs in FFX
Cid: Of course they gonna know what blood and gore is!
By the time they hit 4th grade
They've got all the Mortal Kombats, don't they?
We ain't nuthin' but dumb jerks looks at Vincent
Well, some of us are ex-Turks
Vincent: HEY!
Cid: Whose claws turn obsessive fangirls into bratwurst
Beth: dreamy sigh
Cid: But if we can hunt down Sephiroth
While listening to rock
Then there's no reason that Cait Sith should even be brought
But if ya feel like I feel
I got the antidote
Roll a joint and smoke it up
Sing the chorus
Sephiroth: And it goes!
Cid and Shera and Danielle: He's Cid HighwindYes, he's da real shit
And all you other Cids
Just ain't as bad as him
So won't the real Cid Highwind
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
He's Cid Highwind
Yes, he's da real shit
And all you other Cids
Just ain't as bad as him
So won't the real Cid Highwind
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
Shera: thank you dear...
Danielle: Thank you Cid!
Beth: that was good.
Aeris: that was funny.
Sephiroth: That was scary!