A/N: Redone chapter. Enjoy!!

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha. Am much annoyed by this

Shopping with Carson: (prt1):

"Wake-y wake-y......." someone annoying hummed.

"Whaa.........?" moaned Kagome. Blinking through her sleep filled vision, Kagome peered at her alarm clock. 7 am?!?!?!

"Souta. There had better be a good explanation for this..." Kagome mumbled in a dangerous tone. It was her off day. No one sane woke up on an off day at 7 am. The only option left was that someone had to die.

"Oh, I couldn't be your brother. My skin tone would look completely yellow as a brunette."

There was only one human being who could discuss his non-existing coloring clashing with his skin tone at 7 in the morning.

"Carson, why are you in my room?" moaned Kagome as she burrowed deeper into her pillow.

Carson tried to tug her covers off; Kagome would not budge an inch.

"Because" he gasped out as he tried to yank the comforter off the teenager, " we have a lot of shopping to do. The stores here open and close at 9. That leaves us with very little time. HA!" Carson crowed as he successfully pulled the covers off. Kagome tumbled to the ground with a yelp.

"Ouch..." she mumbled, rubbing her posterior. "Don't you think twelve hours is enough time?"

"Apparently the amount that we have to buy our sexy little friend has escaped you. I'd like to call him my friend. If I could get my hands on that fine booty, why I would-"

"I'm out of bed!" kagome interrupted brightly.

"Good for you sweetheart. Now, what did we learn yesterday?" Carson asked, surreptitiously throwing out a stray headband.

"Sun dresses were created by Lucifer and my grandmother wouldn't be caught dead in a cardigan unless it's from a fashion house." She recited, staring at the outfit Carson had picked out.

"And those would be....?" Carson prompted.

Kagome sighed. "Any designer that has an ad in Vogue ignoring St. John."

"You are a quick study!" Carson said, quite pleased. He examined the ensemble on the bed. "Well, you are going to look fabulous!" Even he had to admit, with the limited supplies he had to work with, this was damn impressive!

Eyeing the clothes as if it was a demon in waiting, Kagome asked "Isn't that skirt a bit....short?"

Carson gave her an amused glance. "It's only half an inch shorter then what you wear to school." (A/N: (.)(.)!!!!!!! yeah, i know. that's not possible. But come on, you people read fanfic about a half-demon dog boy. I think you can stretch your suspension of disbelieve just this much more.)

"Yeah, but this really won't cover my.....y'know.....certain places." Kagome finished with a blush.

"Oh, morality has no place in true fashion" Carson said, dismissing the protest.

Kagome made no move to the bed.

"Did you honestly think that you weren't going to be showing off your legs? I mean, yeah, if you had tree trunks, then we'd be shooting for the pants thing. But with your gams?" Carson shook his head slowly. "Now put it on." he urged.

"Everyone will stare...." Kagome whispered.

Carson patted the uncomfortable girl on the shoulder. "You'll look fine and besides, don't you want Inuyasha to stare at you?" Kagome jerked in surprise.

"Do whatever you want to. It's your decision. But whatever you decide, be down in five minutes. We're leaving on the dot!!" Carson added as he walked down the stairs.

******************in the kitchen***************

smack

"I said do not touch my food." Ted chastised.

Inuyasha kneaded at the slight bump on his arm and replied sulkily, "But Kagome always lets me steal food."

"Not when the food is still in the pan being cooked." Ted resumed guard duty over his Spanish omelet, spatula ready to hit any wandering fingers.

"Feh........" muttered Inuyasha. Settling against the counter, Inuyasha heard a muffled thump.

"Kagome's up." he announced to no one in particular.

"Good. Just in time for breakfast." Ted slid the thick fluffy omelet onto a plate. "Who wants the first one?" he called out.

Glaring at him for being stupid, Inuyasha grabbed the plate and snorted. "Who else the hell wants it? Them?" he asked pointing to some essentially comatose Americans in the living room.

Jai, Kyan and Thom were sprawled all over; Kyan on the couch, Jai on the armchair, and Thom was comfortable on the floor (Bouyo was a wonderful pillow). Ted stuck his head through the doorway, whacking Inuyasha with the spatula to keep him off the egg.

"Hey. You guys want an egg?"

There was no response.

"See? They don't want it and I'm hungry....." said Inuyasha in a petulant tone.

"Heeeellllloo? Wake up!" Ted said in a slightly louder voice.

"I'm huuuuunnnnnggggrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!" whined Inuyasha.

"Would one of you morons wake up?" Ted, in an annoyed voice.

"FEEEEEEEEEDDD MEEEEEEEEEE! FEEEEEEEED MEEEEEE!" wailed Inuyasha. No response.

Smirking, Inuyasha stole the egg with a triumphant 'keh' in Ted's direction.

Ted glared at the hanyou and raised his spatula threateningly. Beating a hasty retreat, Inuyasha headed for the stairs to sit down and eat. No way he'd sit in the kitchen with Ted in such a murderous rage. He was dense, crass, and tactless but Inuyasha was not a complete idiot. When you piss off someone who thinks Ginsu knifes are 'pretty and economical', you don't hang around.

He met Carson at the bottom of the stairs. Carson eyed the breakfast and smiled happily.

"You brought me breakfast? That is too sweet!"

"Not likely."

"I'm hurt."

"Go fuck yourself." Inuyasha said in annoyance.

"Already have. Twice."

A moment of silence passed as Inuyasha's brain desperately tried to eject that last comment from his mind. Eventually, he mentally admitted defeat.

"I set myself up for that one, didn't I?" he asked Carson with a sigh.

"Oh yeah." Carson nodded matter of factly. He turned to look up the stairway and shook his head. "I said 5 minutes. Where is that girl?" he said under his breath. "Kagome! Come down please!" he sing-songed.

Inuyasha glared at the blonde haired fashionista. Even if he was a morning person, singing in the morning was inhumane. About to shout something rude, Inuyasha found his attention pulled away from Carson as Kagome came down the steps

Kagome was wearing a green army style jacket, complete with bronze buckles and belt over a plain white cap sleeved t-shirt. Her 'skirt' was a mini's mini; a black pleated skirt that barely covered her feminine parts. She wore patterned opaque tights with knee high boots. In order not to make it look like some hooker in New Jersey had their clothing stolen (A/N: favorite line!!), the boots had a very modest platform, not even an inch high. With her hair cascading down her back, and long legs shown to their fullest extent, Kagome looked damn good. Or, at least she looked good to him. But then, she always did.

Kyan, Jai, Ted and Thom wandered in and complimented Kagome on her outfit.

"Very nice."

"Paris Hilton without the hoochie-ness."

"Lovely."

"What the hell is wrong with him?"

Carson and Co. looked at Inuyasha's stupefied expression. Sighing in mock exasperation, Kyan grabbed Inuyasha's arm and dragged him into the kitchen. Kagome clomped down the stairs and stared at Carson.

"You look Fab-u-lous!!" Carson exclaimed happily.

Kagome sighed. "Never mind. What are we shopping for today anyways?"

"Underwear." Carson smiled and walked out to the SUV.

Kagome stared at him, hoping she had a dirty mind and he had not just said what she was sure he had just said.

"He can be a bit much." commiserated Jai from the side. "But he means well."

"I know" said Kagome, not able to stay angry very long.

A voice screamed out from the SUV, "ALL WHO ARE GOING, MOVE IT! We're on a strict time table!"

Kagome and Jai sighed.

"Good luck." said Jai.

"I am NOT going shopping for undergarments with these weirdos!!! FEH! FEH! FEH!!!" said Inuyasha screamed from the kitchen stubbornly and he stuck out his tongue for emphasis.

"Lots of luck." Jai added.

"Thank you" said Kagome dryly. "But you know? I've always been curious what type of underwear he wears....boxers or briefs?"

Jai giggled. "I know which one I'm praying for."

Kagome winked. "Me too."

Kyan pulled Inuyasha out of the house by his hair and beckoned to Kagome.

"Come on Kags, we gotta go before Carson gets pissy." He called over his shoulder.

Taking a breath to brace herself (and swallowing the advil Jai had slipped her), Kagome walked out to take Inuyasha underwear shopping.

********In The SUV***************

"All right so we need a plan of action. We obviously cannot buy everything we need now. It would overload the poor hetero's brain. So we're gonna split the shopping up. Today we are going to do essentials- underwear, socks, shoes, and if we spot ant t-shirts or something, we'll get that as well. Then, Kyan is going to take over and we're going to have a ......surprise." Carson said with a smile.

"I don't want a surprise." said Inuyasha flatly.

"Yes you do" corrected Carson.

"Just tell him now, otherwise we're going to be arguing until we get to this surprise." advised Kagome.

Carson and Kyan sighed but, after some eyebrows raising and eye widening and hand gesturing, Kyan was elected to talk about how Inuyasha felt about pedicures.

"What is it?" the hanyou asked, curiously.

"Well, some nice lady massages your feet and soaks them in hot water. Then all the nasty things on your feet are taken off. We'll clip your toenails and scrap those layers of dirt off." said Kyan in a placating voice.

Inuyasha stared at Kyan. Is he kidding?

"Like hell." said an amused INuyasha. "No one's doing anything to my claws."

"See, that's the problem. It's suppose to be fingernails or toenails- not claws." Kyan attempted to explain.

"I don't want to." Inuyasha said. He was getting upset. Not furious upset, but a confused upset. He kept his eyes averted, especially from Kagome. The girl was far too perceptive for his liking. What was so wrong with me that there was so much to fix? I'm proud of my claws. They've saved me many times before I got the Tetsuiga. He flexed his claws and watched the way his fingers bent and cracked, a dangerous sound, a sound he had come to associate with battle.

"I think we should keep his claws." came the unexpected announcement from the front seat.

Turning in shock, Inuyasha and Kyan looked at Kagome.

"Wha...?" the two flabbergasted men said.

Kagome kept her eyes in front of her. She knew how perceptive Inuyasha could be. There was no way she'd let him see the pity reflecting in her eyes. But the way he'd forlornly cracked his fingers, and the downturn of his head, spoke volumes. Before, it had all been stubbornness, not form any particular caring about his looks. But his claws....they were apart of him. And she liked them. More importantly, he liked them. He liked very little about himself.

"That's the last word on the subject. The claws stay." She turned and fixed Inuyasha with a harsh stare. "But the dirt goes and you are getting at least two pairs of shoes."

Inuyasha blinked and shrugged.

Carson snorted. "Two" he whispered. "We are getting so way more then two.." Seeing his store, Carson pulled over.

"Okay. Kyan and Kagome-go!"

"Be good, and listen to Carson Inuyasha!" Kagome called over her shoulder.

Kyan and a confused girl ran out of the car and headed across the street.

"Wait, where's Kagome going?" asked INuyasha, trying to follow Kagome's disappearing frame with eyes, hoping against hope that he was not left alone with Carson.

"Come on sexy!" said Carson smiling. "Now I have you all to myself." he smiled and leapt of the car.

Inuyasha followed, fumbling with the door. I hate my life, he thought miserably. I really hate it.

**************In The Store****************

A blonde man threw open the doors to Banana Republic Tokyo and paused to swing off his sunglasses, allowing every eye in the place to swing to him. Behind him, a man/boy stuck his head in, sniffed and began to run. Luckily (or unluckily- it depends on whose side you were on), the blonde man was quick, yanking on the back of the man's odd fuzzy red bathrobe and pulled him in.

"Best place to buy underwear!!" the blonde man said happily.

Inuyasha tried to get out of Carson's grasp but it was as if the overpriced clothing had given the clothes horse strength. Inuyasha could not pull away but was soon thrown against a wall.

"Okay" began Carson. "Let's start with the basics, then move into fabric and then finally-my favorite part!- the fitting." said Carson with a grin. Strutting over to the display, Carson began the process. Staring at Inuyasha's crotch, he nodded and shook his head, mentally discarding and choosing undergarments for the horrified hanyou. Eventually, after some of the worst minutes of Inuyasha's life as underwear was held against his crotch to 'check to see if the color suited him', Carson yanked off several sizes, colors, and types. Very relieved that Carson had finally stopped looking at his area, Inuyasha followed Carson into the dressing room without a word of protest.

"All right. Strip." commanded Carson as soon as the curtained door was shut behind Inuyasha.

Inuyasha pondered what to do. Well, the curtain was closed. No one would see him except Carson and Kagome had told him to listen to Carson. So, shrugging his shoulders, Inuyasha took off his shirt. Hearing a gasp, Inuyasha looked up to see Carson sagging against the mirrored wall in shock. "Carson?" asked the hanyou in concern. If Carson died now, Inuyasha just knew he would get blamed. "Carson?" he asked again. "Are you okay?

Carson opened his mouth and tried to get some sound out but nothing was coming.

Inuyasha squinted and examined Carson. "Do you have a head injury? Or a fever?"

"No." squeaked out a higher pitched Carson. "Umm....would you mind just standing still for a moment?" Inuyasha nodded uncertainly and Carson whipped out his camera cell phone. Clicking furiously at all angles, he posed and reposed the shirtless hanyou. Terribly confused, Inuyasha waited for the madness to leave Carson's eyes before he asked what the hell was going on.

Calming down, Carson pulled out a pair of boxers. "Here" he said with a smile, ignoring Inuyasha's question. "Try these on." Sitting down on the little bench in the room, Carson smiled, anticipating the show to come.

Hesitatingly, Inuyasha undid the tie to his pants. A certain smell was coming from Carson but Inuyasha didn't want to accuse the guy of something. What was he suppose to say, I smell how much you want me? He snorted mentally. Yeah, that'd make the scent go away. Brilliant idea Inuyasha. Determined to not give away that he smelled (and saw) Carson's arousal, Inuyasha let his pants drop.

"What the hell is that?" Carson said, all traces of arousal gone from his scent. Leaning forward, he poked at the yellow-ish wrap around, tuck under...thing. Inuyasha's eyes widened as Carson's hand kept patting little Inuyasha, feeling it up.

"Hmm..." mumbled Carson. "The only thing I can think of is transvestite granny underwear. Weirdest fetish I've ever heard of...." he mumbled. Inuyasha jerked away and slapped at Carson's hand, fury in every pore.

"HENTAI!!" he shouted in fury. (A/N: I had to. you people understand). He had never before been willing to murder humans in cold blood but this? Oh, there was going to be hell to pay for! Preparing to kill, Inuyasha lifted his claws to deliver his oldest attack.

"Oh jeez, did I touch you in the happy spot?" Carson faked a grimace. "I am so sorry. I mean, we weren't at that stage yet in our relationship." Inuyasha gave him an incredulous look, eyes wide with disbelief. His fists slowly clenched and a muscle above his right eye began to move.

"WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!!" he howled, pulling at his hair and his face a deep crimson.

Carson gave him a hurt look. "What do you think this is?"

"Not a relationship!" said Inuyasha.

Carson smiled and said in a loud voice, "So your using me just for se-" Carson's voice was cut off as Inuyasha firmly put his hand over Carson's mouth.

"You. Shut. Up." said Inuyasha in an pissed off tone.

Slowly taking his hand off, Inuyasha kept glaring at the unapologetic American.

"Whatever. What is that thing?" Carson said.

"A loincloth."

Images began dancing through Carson's mind of Inuyasha swinging through the jungle in just a leopard print loincloth, firmly holding onto him in a matching loincloth and Gucci sunglasses.

Carson gave a dreamy sigh. "Guuuccciiii........." he said with a happy shiver.

Inuyasha had no idea who this Guuuccciii was but he felt bad for him if Carson said his name like that.

Carson came out of his reverie to see a bemused Inuyasha already changed into a red pair of boxer briefs. Inwardly cursing at his imagination for missing the unveiling, Carson began to tell the clue-less half man about what type of underwear to wear.

"Okay, most important is the fit. If one is not well endowed, do not buy large sized underwear. Simple right? Well, you have no idea how many men insist on doing this. I try to tell them that wearing undies that are too big will not make your Ball Park frankfuter plump up but they just don't listen." He shook his head and pulled out another box. "Hmm- how about that. You need a bigger size. These are a little snug. Some guys like that though but we're going to go to the next size."

Inuyasha was wishing the earth would swallow him whole. Right now. Come on Kami's...he prayed, turning more desperate as Carson got more explicit. Now would be good...or now...any time at all, JUST OPEN THE GROUND DAMN IT!!!!!!!!......

Carson shoved cloth into Inuyasha's hands and smiled cheerfully. Too cheerfully.

Inuyasha held up the.....gold? he thought in confusion. And what the- what is this?? Inuyasha stared at the weird looking loincloth.

"What is this?" he asked Carson. It didn't look comfortable.....and what the hell did you do with the strings? And what was the sack of cloth for?

Carson scratched his head innocently and looked away. "It's called a G-string." he said casually.

"Oh. Um, how do you wear this?" Inuyasha had a bad feeling about this...thing.

"Here, I'll show you."

Inuyasha felt panic clawing up his throat. Why were Carson's hands going to the front of his pants?!?!?

"NO!!!" shouted INuyasha. "Just. Just tell me."

"Your loss." Carson shrugged. He held up the gold fabric.

"Okay" he held the underwear as if about to step into them. "You just put your legs in the holes and pull up."

WHAT?!?!?!?!? thought Inuyasha in horror.

"No. Way. In. Hell." Inuyasha stated, trying to remain calm and not run out of the store screaming for Kagome and her sacred arrows.

Kagome....he thought in desperation. Kagome... Kagome....Hey-Kagome? Inuyasha inhaled deeply and smiled. Kagome was here to rescue him! Almost crying in relief, he was about to go out when a new smell hit him. Kagome was nervous. Why? Tiptoeing to the front of the dressing room, he heard something that almost made his eyes go red. Inuyasha stalked out of the room. Carson quickly gathered up the hanyou's clothing and followed.

*************Outside the dressing room****************

"So baby- you always look this good or are you dressing just to drive me crazy?" said the store clerk with a leer.

Oh, that was just pathetic, thought Kagome in annoyance. I mean, if your going to hit on me even though I already said I'm not interested, at least don't use cheesy lines like that!!

Kagome turned and tried to find Kyan.

"Whoa!" she cried as a hand on her arm jerked her around.

"Hey, you listening to me?" said the store clerk.

"No." said Kagome succinctly.

The employee's eyes narrowed. "Well, what's shoved up your sweet ass?"

"If you don't shut up, I'm calling the manager." Kagome threatened. She was getting nervous. This guy looked like he was getting pissed off.

"Why don't you and I go to the movies later and snuggle up in the back?" The hand on her arm tightened, becoming almost painful now.

"Let go." she hissed.

"Why should I?"

"Because if my boyfriend is in the store, he's going to really freak-"

Suddenly, the hand on her arm left. A little stunned, Kagome absentmindedly rubbed her sore arm and turned to see what had the clerk backing up a few steps.

All thought of rude store people flew out of Kagome's mind as it went blank at the sight of Inuyasha completely nude except for little red briefs.

All lightly tanned skin (How? He never takes his clothes off? Kagome's mind tried to think. Her hormones won the battle and rational thought happily died) and lean muscle, Inuyasha just stood in the middle of Banana Republic in his underwear, feet braced and long silver hair swaying in the air conditioned breeze. His legs were toned and strong, looking as if they carved out of living stone. His arms were developed and you could see the muscles flexing under his skin. His stomach and chest- ye gods!!!- was rippled, toned and Kagome had the urge to just reach up and rub her hands all over him. And he fills out those undies so nicely!!! Kagome's hormones were screaming. Simply put, Inuyasha was a living incarnation of sexual appeal. Breathing heavily along with every other female (and gay man) in the place, Kagome looked on Inuyasha's physical perfection and felt giddy.

The sex god (as Kagome's unruly mind had now dubbed Inuyasha) reached forward and casually lifted the 160 lb. store clerk by his jacket (A/N: yeah, you forgot about him didn't you? Dirty people what you are. tsk tsk).

"I don't know who you are" said Inuyasha growled in his harsh voice. "But I don't like you. I don't like you at all. I don't think you should even open your mouth." Inuyasha shook the clerk roughly, snapping the boys head back and forth. Inuyasha drew back his fist and smiled.

"Oh, jeez, don't hit me don't hit me....." whimpered the clerk, all bravado gone.

Inuyasha raised one eyebrow. "Why not? You pissed me off." he said in an amused voice.

"Because, because....uh..." the clerk stammered.

"Yeah, I can't think of a reason not to beat you to a shit either." Inuyasha said in the same pleasant voice.

"Inuyasha" came a soft warning tone. "Don't maim him. You don't realize how much stronger you are then him...." Kagome said softly. The fury in Inuyasha's eyes and face had wrenched her from her hormone induced haze and now the situation was going to get out of control.

Look Kagome's face, Inuyasha shrugged. "Okay." he said nonchalantly.

Turning back to the boy, he noticed the clerk's eyes on Kagome.

Inuyasha shook his head. "Very stupid." he informed his victim. Snapping his fist forward, Inuyasha casually broke the boy's nose with an audible crack and sent his head backward with the force of the blow. Blood, nose cartilage and gore sprayed everywhere- the floor, the counters, merchandise and Inuyasha himself.

"What the hell do you think your doing, you little punk??" screamed the store manager, finally notified by another employee. "What the hell? Haven't you ever heard of something called restraint, you freak?" he yelled.

Inuyasha looked at the 5 foot chubby manager and smiled again, more tightly this time. Turning, he hoisted the boy up in the air and threw him across the store, sailing the 30 odd feet into the ladies section. Landing on a pile of noxious looking angora sweaters, the now unconscious boy slid across the long display counter to fall onto the polished wooden floor.

The store echoed with the sound the clerk made as he hit the ground.

Grabbing his pants out of Carson's hands, Inuyasha stepped into them and slowly pulled them up. "Restraint?" he asked, golden eyes locked with the manager's quivering face.

"If I didn't have restraint, I would have ripped out his guts, choked him with them and then throw him through that glass window over there." Inuyasha finished tying the knot of his pants and rose to his full height. Starring down at the little man, Inuyasha glared, his mask of affability gone. Enraged, spotted in blood and gore, Inuyasha was an apparition from an earlier, more primal era. He was a half demon and it showed, the essence of primeval fury staining the air around him.

The manager said not a word as Inuyasha grabbed Kagome and pulled her out of the store.

Pausing by the door, Inuyasha turned and said quietly, "If I didn't have restraint, he'd be dead". A bit of blood dripped off his still bare chest. Slinging his shirt and haori over his shoulder, Inuyasha left Banana Republic without another backward glance.