A/N: hey guys! Yay for me for getting a chapter up so quickly! The reason for this is because of Passover! We are having at my house 22 people for 2 and a half weeks straight! AND it's the most expansive and thorough cleaning the whole year! PLUS, we have to cook in advance! (the noodles for the soup will alone equal to about 50 eggs. So go there with everything else.) I mean, you people complain about chrismass and thanksgiving- beat this! AND let's not forget that its midterm time!!!!! YAY!! Right, so any hyperness (most noticeable in the kudo's) is excused by myself.
Listen, I redid chapter 5 simply because it was so pointlessly stupid in the beginning. I maybe added in a few quips and took out a hell of a lot but nothing major. So read if you want but it's not essential.
Disclaimer: go away. I don't need the fact that I don't own Inuyasha rubbed in my face.
Shopping With Carson (prt2):
Inuyasha Gets a Pedicure
Inuyasha held Kagome's hand tightly. First Kouga, then Hobo, now this freak! What the hell does she do that guys are so freakin' attracted to her? Inuyasha growled and clenched her hand tighter in his. I should just get her a sign that says: 'Inuyasha's! Back off or he'll rip off your balls!' Inuyasha smiled. What pleasant mental imagery....
You could have a sign- it's called a marking, you baka, reminded his brain.
You shut up, thought Inuyasha viciously. But it was too late. Images of what mating entailed were flashing through his mind and body. Inuyasha scowled and slowed down. Walking too fast was proving a bit impossible.
"Inuyasha?" questioned Kagome. Looking up at him in concern, Inuyasha once again saw that puny idiot manhandling her in his mind's eye. He glared down at Kagome and expressed concern for her well-being.
"What the hell is wrong with you? You flirt with every guy who comes along. You're brain dead, you really are Kagome! An idiot wouldn't have gone and smiled at that moron but nooo-you have to be nice. What the hell is your problem? Don't you have a brain?" He snarled, disgust coloring his tone.
Kagome whirled on him and tried to pull her hand from his. "Let go of me!" she said, stamping her foot angrily. "I was going to say thank you for rescuing me-"
"What else is new? I rescue you more then I find shards. I wonder if there's a connection there, huh?" he asked sarcastically.
"Without me, you wouldn't have any jewel shards at all!" Kagome shouted.
"Feh!"
"Don't you dare-"
A giggle interrupted their argument. Moving their heads minutely, Inuyasha and Kagome saw two 16 year old girls blushing and pointing at Inuyasha. Why the he- oh that idiot!! Kagome seethed.
"What the hell are they giggling about, those two morons?" muttered Inuyasha uncomfortably.
"Because you don't have a shirt on. And normally, people don't walk around without shirts" Kagome said in a sugar sweet tone. "But I guess someone with no brain wouldn't tell someone that."
Inuyasha glanced down at his chest and realized that, yes, he had been walking through Tokyo without half his clothes on. Blushing a light pink, he fumbled into his shirt and overcoat, embarrassment making him clumsy.
Inuyasha wanted to yell something witty back at her but nothing came to mind. Luckily, Kyan and Carson rushed up to them and interrupted their 'conversation'.
"Well, I hope your happy mister." Carson began, frowning. "You got us thrown out of Banana Republic. Forever." He shook his head, huffing at the injustice of it all.
"Good news though. The manager was so anxious to see us gone that he insisted we leave without pressing charges or making us pay for any of the purchases." Kyan said smiling, holding up a few small bags as evidence.
"Really? That's incredible." said Kagome.
"No. Inuyasha was incredible. How the hell did you do that?" Kyan asked, looking at the still blushing boy in awe.
"I....just did." mumbled Inuyasha.
"He works out." Kagome said at the same time with a fake smile.
"If we're on the subject of why you're so fabulous, what's with the ears?" Carson added.
"Umm...." Inuyasha had no clue how to handle this one and,throwing a look to Kagome, passed her the question.
Think quick girl. You can do this......! Kagome stalled for time by pointing out Carson's old work place, Calvin Klein. As Carson shared a dirty story involving a friend of his and a broom closet in his old office, Kagome scrambled for an answer.
"Carson that is so funny! What did she do?" laughed Kyan.
"She watched!" crowed Carson.
"No!" gasped Kyan. Inuyasha's ears flicked back and forth in distress from the story, and he inadvertently drew the attention back to the adorable appendages. "So, Inuyasha- what is with your ears?" Kyan pressed.
"It's a birth defect." Kagome said a little too quickly. "Mutation from....Hiroshima." She nodded her head sagaciously. Come on, don't be history or science majors....please please buy it! She hoped to herself.
"Oh!" said Carson and Kyan in surprise. Sharing a look that plainly read 'Touchy Subject. Handle With Caution.', the two Americans dropped the line of questioning and trotted up to a building on their right.
"This" Kyan patted the doors "is the best place in downtown Tokyo for a pedicure. Welcome to Area One." Walking into the tasteful interior of green and cream, the group stopped at the receptionist's desk. As Kyan checked that their appointment was indeed written down, Carson explained that one could get a martini here while their nails were done.
"And, it's all very cheap." he added with a grin. "Always nice to get a good thing for a small price. Kind of like-"
"So Inuyasha!" said Kagome loudly.
"Kagome, what nice weather we're having!" Inuyasha declared at the same time in the same overly loud tone.
"You two are prudes." said Carson, rolling his eyes.
"Carson, compared to you, everyone is a prude." Kyan said. Ignoring Carson's offended look, Kyan motioned them into the salon.
***********Inside the salon*******************
"Hello. My name is Elana. I'll be doing your pedicure today." A fashionably dressed short slim woman with blue eyes and excellent makeup greeted them at the door.
"Hi Elana." smiled Kyan. "This" he announced "is Inuyasha." However, the spot next to Kyan was empty. Instead, Inuyasha was crouching down, head tilted, observing a foot massager. His eyes were intent, completely focused on this new discovery.
"What is it?" he asked, his voice cold and suspicious.
"Uh, a foot massager...." replied Elana, mentally steeling herself for yet another crazy customer.
Inuyasha leaned forward, experimentally sniffed.
The pedicurist hung her head in exasperation. "Great" she grumbled "Another one with a foot fetish....I swear to god, why do I get all the weirdo's?" Kagome smiled nervously. Better thinking Inuyasha had an obsession with feet then her figuring out that he was a half demon from 500 years ago.
Dragging Inuyasha from his place on the floor, the group began the process of convincing him that the elaborate chair was not going to eat him. Colored a putrid ivory to match the decor of the salon, the chair was high backed, reclined, and the foot rest descended into a shallow pot. It was connected to a round bulbous plastic encasement and Inuyasha knew that if he sat on the chair, he would die. It was really that simple. In the end it was only Kagome's threat of sitting him into Carson's waiting lap that got Inuyasha into the chair.
With a resigned sigh, Elana took hold of the hanyou's foot. About to dip it into the steaming hot water in the small basin on the floor, she glanced up and halted.
"Don't look so suspicious. It's just hot water to soften up your feet so we can take off all those calluses."
"It smells." he stated, still suspicious.
"Well, it's standard to put some herbs and such in the water to make it smell nice."
"What kind of stuff?" came a cautious reply.
"Uh, lavender, rosemary, forget-me-nots, mint...." Elana's voice trailed off as Inuyasha snorted angrily. Kagome groaned quietly. This is not going to go well, she predicted to herself.
Inuyasha snorted again. He could just see Kouga's reaction if he went back to the feudal era smelling like roses.....Inuyasha glowered at Elana.
"I am not" He stated, punctuating the words with a slash of his hand, "putting my feet in anything that smells like flowers, spices or any other stupid girly shit."
Elana sighed the sigh of every harassed employee that had been pushed to their limits.
"It's not "stupid girly shit." It's just stuff to make you smell nicer. Heck, make you smell nice at all. I got to tell you, right now your feet are among the most disgusting things I've ever seen. So chill out about the scented water. It won't kill you or your testicles so calm the hell down."
Inuyasha blinked. Well, that was blunt. Inuyasha examined Elana. He could see that this Elana person was a kindred spirit to him: a bad tempered person who got annoyed easily, spoke while they were thinking and bitched a lot about almost everything. He could trust someone like this with his masculinity. She wouldn't dress him up in bows or expect him to be civil. Inuyasha relaxed in his chair.
While this internal conversation was taking place, Elana had replaced the scented water with plain water, nothing added. Nodding a thank you, Inuyasha plunged his feet into the basin.
And promptly withdrew them with a very unmanly squawk.
"It's too hot!!" he whined, holding up his feet as if the basin was about to jump up and eat his feet.
"It's not too hot, you freakin' baby. Now, put your feet in. It will feel fine in a few minutes. Your feet just have to get used to the heat." Elana said with a roll of her eyes. Kagome tried her best to pretend she wasn't with Inuyasha.
Grudgingly, Inuyasha listened and, as predicted, the water cooled down. After a few minutes, Elana lifted his feet out and began to massage them. Or she tried. He kept jerking them out of her grasp.
"Just. Hold. The. Hell. Still." she hissed, annoyed as only a minimum wage earner could get annoyed.
Inuyasha was trying to keep it in but he couldn't help himself. An amused chuckle escaped him. Kagome's eyes grew wide.
"Inuyasha- are you ticklish?" she asked, delighted beyond belief.
"No..." Inuyasha replied with a frown at the disgusted Elana, the two gay Americans who were making cooing noises and Kagome who just had a smile on her face.
"What are you thinking?" Inuyasha asked, well aware that when Kagome smiled like that, it usually meant trouble for him.
"Nothing" she replied innocently. "I was just thinking what Shippo-chan would do with this information."
Inuyasha paled. Shippo would be merciless......
Kagome giggled happily. "Blackmail!" she sing-songed.
Inuyasha groaned. His life was just getting worse and worse.
************10 minutes later******************
Things had settled down as Inuyasha's feet re-soaked, Kagome read a magazine and Kyan and Carson flirted with a hairdresser.
Inuyasha drummed his fingers on the arm rest of the chair. Boring boring boring......he thought to himself. Looking at the side of the chair, he saw to his delight his new favorite thing: buttons! Inuyasha glanced around surreptitiously. Yep, no one was looking at him....Shivering in unholy delight, Inuyasha quickly pressed every button on the chair. Twice.
Inuyasha started as the chair began to move. His ears completely flattened on his head, he felt a combination of anger and panic. I knew it was a monster! I told Kagome but she wouldn't listen!! I knew it! he thought in triumphant panic. But his euphoria was soon ended as the monstrous chair shifted and buckled under him.
The bottom folding upward, the top folding down, the whole chair vibrating and shaking and the huge maw was descending from above!! Inuyasha didn't see any teeth but then it started to roar.
INuyasha blinked. That's the most pathetic roar I've ever heard...its just air, blowing with a whistle, Inuyasha thought, confused but still aware that although this 'chair' thing was by far and beyond the oddest monster he had ever battled, it was still a monster. And there was only one fast way to take out monsters. He cracked his knuckles and shouted.
"SHIN-"
"OSUWARI!!" came a desperate scream.
"AIIEEE!" Inuyasha yelled as the magical prayer bead necklace flung him to the ground, over the side of the arm.
Kagoem gasped, and tried to regain control of her breathing. When Inuyasha had first played with the chair, the faces he had made when the chair started to fold up were funny so she said nothing. Then he had looked so startled by the hair drier coming down, eyes wide and jerking his head in shock, she had said nothing. But when he had cracked his knuckles, she knew what was coming. Thank the kami's she had gotten the 'sit' out in time.
"Stupid bitch!" shouted Inuyasha angrily. "It was about to eat me!"
"It was NOT about to eat you, you baka! It's. A. CHAIR!!" Kaogme shouted, stamping her foot.
"Chair, monster- it's all the same!" he yelled back.
"Not it's not!! Trust me on this one, okay? The car will not eat you, the stove will not eat you, the TV will not eat you and the salon chair will not eat you!" she exclaimed, stabbing a finger into Iuyasha's chest with each object mentioned.
Inuyasha looked at her and sniffed. "Keh. Why should I believe you?"
Kagome stared at him. Was he kidding?
Inuyasha waved his hand at her, seemingly dismissing all that she had done for him in that one motion. Kagome growled in fury.
"OSUWARI!"
thud
"Why should you believe me?!?" she hissed. "OSUWARI!!"
thud
"You should believe me because I unstuck you from that stupid tree! OSUWARI!!"
thud
"Because I'm the only one who actually stays with you! OSUWARI!"
thud
"Because of Naraku !!OSUWARI for that whole pile of garbage!!"
thud
"Because I put up with your behemoth of an attitude problem! OSUWARI!!!"
thud
"AND because of Kikyo! OSUWARI OSUWARI OSUWARI!!!" Kagome screamed, breathing heavily with her fists clenched at her sides. She was enraged and completely ignoring her very interested audience.
thud thud thud
Inuyasha sat in the small Inuyasha shaped hole the spell had caused and sulked. Maybe that had not been the right thing to say.................
Grabbing one of those oh-so-useful pieces of hair that frame his face, Kagome pulled Inuyasha up. Looking him straight in the eye, Kagome said in a dangerous tone, "Now. You are going to get your feet softened, filed and then we are going home and you will not touch any buttons, destroy any property or say stupid things from now until then. So I suggest you keep your hands pinned down at your sides and keep your mouth shut. Understand?"
Inuyasha jerked away and sat down with as much dignity as possible in his chair.
"Keh." he said, turning up his nose.
Kagome stalked back to her magazine and glared down anyone who was coming near her with questions.
Inuyasha got his feet filed with out too many more problems.
(We'll ignore the numerous files poor Elana had to use to get Inuyasha's feet presentable, the argument over whether Inuyasha would wear toe polish (which he won much to the consternation of Kyan and Carson who thought he would wonderful with a small amount of peachy gloss. Luckily, Kagome 'sat' Inuyasha before he could kill them), the insults Inuyasha gave Kagome under his breath that she heard, the ensuing 'sits' from that, the haggling with the salon over the price of the newly-broken chair that occurred from those 'sits' AND the 'sits' that resulted from Inuyasha gloating to Kagome about the broken chair being her fault. We'll ignore all this and just say that they all survived. Somewhat.)
************In the SUV***********
"Well. That was an experience." Kyan smiled, trying to put a good face on what had been sheer hell.
Kagome, Carson and Inuyasha glared at him to shut up and to keep his obscene cheerfulness to himself. Minutes passed in silence.
The car pulled over to a corner. Kagome reached behind her and took out a duffel bag. Inuyasha slowly got up form his slouch.
Where's Kagome going? he wondered uneasily. She didn't tell me that we were going anywhere..... Shrugging his shoulders, Inuyasha unbuckled his seat belt and prepared to leave the car as well.
"Where are you going?" Carson asked, honestly confused.
"With Kagome." Inuyasha answered, as if talking to a particularly stupid clump of trees.
"No, you're not coming with me." Kagome answered from outside the SUV.
Inuyasha stared at her in shock
"Don't be a stupid bitch." he scoffed. "Of course I'm coming with you."
"No. You are not coming with me. The fab five have very kindly bought me a couple of days at a spa and I'm going to be enjoying them. By myself. Alone. Without you." Kagome added for emphasis.
Inuyasha just looked at her, his ears drooping with hurt.
"But, but why?" he asked, not ready to face her era without Kagome to explain everything.
"Because I need a vacation. Because I work hard and deserve some pampering." She sighed and admitted, "Because you hurt my feelings today and I want some time away from you....."
Inuyasha jerked as if socked in the stomach. He sucked in a gasp and looked at Kaogme, horrified.
"I, I , I never meant to hurt your feelings. I'm so-" He rushed the words out but Kagome slammed the car door on his apology. His sorry trailed away as Kagome shook her head at him through the window.
Faintly, her words penetrated the glass window. "I don't want an apology that you're going to forget in a couple of minutes. I don't need what's completely useless. I need and I want someone who trusts me. Which you don't." She gave a forlorn little wave and turned to walk into the hotel.
Inuyasha settled back into the car cushions as the SUV pulled back into the Tokyo nighttime traffic. Kaogme had sounded so.......sad...her goodbye had sounded so....final.
We definitely need to work a little Jai magic on this moron, thought Kyan with a sigh. Carson put it a little more bluntly.
"Well, you fucked that up, didn't you?" Carson said with a an over exaggerated grimace.
Whack
After Carson's head connected with the window, there was no talking in the car on the way back to the shrine.
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A/N: well, there you go. Okay, so first advertisements and then (as one smart person put it) give my kudos!
I like advertisements, I find them helpful for finding new authors to read so I'll put some down here:
for those of us who can claim the title of lemon lovers: Sacred Cove by Brunette-Kagome. Interesting plot that I've not seen done on any other story or site with lots of juicy and thrilling lemons and limes. Whee!!
Soul Therapy by dolphingirl0113. Just. Plain. Wonderful. The emotions are so sweet and the angst isn't overdone- everything in that story is just right. A must read.
For humor, Mm, tastes like a lemon by Maiden of the Moon. Absolutely hysterical. I loved it.
For those who go onto adultfanfiction.net: YOU MUST READ A Bus Stop Fairy Tale. (sorry but I forgot the author's name!) Oh wow, if I ever write that well, life will be going swell. In fact, people who do not go onto that site, I strongly suggest you go onto that site just to read that story. In no other AU story have I read such perfectly expressed emotions. The story is poignant, moving , exciting, funny, sexy and it makes you want to be in love. Seriously, it made me want to take buses. ::dreamy sigh:: i have actually reread this story, that's how good it is! If you don't read it, then you are missing out!
Okay, my kudos:
Thank you so much to:
LadyCatBailey( you review every time! your rock my socks!!)
Kashiaga (you review a lot also! Thus, you also rock my socks!!)
MirokuMinded (you also review every time! you too rock my sock drawer!!)
Riyo-Hikaru (another Knight of the Sock Drawer! Whoo for consistent reviewers!)
Taria
LadyCarolyn (Wee! another consistent reviewer! But my sock drawer fell apart so how about you rock my bookshelf? No, wait. Scratch that. No one messes with my books. Hmm.. ::puts sock drawer back together:: you rock my socks!! Gee, can you tell Passover has me a bit hyper??)
Chacha (love your name!)
I Love Inuyasha (I love you for reviewing!!!!)
Varan-Wolf-Hanyou
PhoebeOtaku
DangerousBeans (Yet another Knight of the sock drawer!! You guys are awesome!!)
Brunette-Kagome (See???? I did an advertisement for you because I love your story (and the lemons, I'll admit)!!!! You too review consistently so you shall also be proclaimed a Knight of the Sock Drawer!!!!!!!!!!)
MysticInca (Welcome to the brotherhood of Sock Drawer, o most wondrous of reviewers!!)
noname(please put in a name oh consistent reviewer who shall remain nameless! I can't knight you if your not named! Knights need names!!! Unless- that is your name! Why, you sly thing!)
numisma
Galene
Ok, all that was for ATKGB. This list is for those who reviewed my new one shot 'Big Smile':
Merlyn1382
Riyohikaru
Mr. P Coat (Love the name! Love pea coats!!)
Whimsical Writer
Darkangel1410 (okay, YOU are the official Lord of the Square Drawer Table for reviewing everything I wrote!!!! You rock my whole dresser!!........eww....that sounded sort of gross....)
Kotamagic
Kanarah J
BTB, if anyone wants to read that one shot to help me out, I'd appreciate it. The other one, hero, I was okay with how it came out but this one? I tried a new form of writing for me, to do the flashback adn I'm not so sure it worked. So if everyone would go, read it and tell me what could be improved, I'd appreciate it. That goes for this fic too! Tell me what doesn't work!
review! It'll calm me down!! (How's that for bribery eh?) BTB, I used 65 !! in my AN alone! Go me! (well, now it's 69....) bye! (70!! no, 72!!, no, 74!! no- i could just keep going and going. I'm just that hyper....)